The boy who cried Ninja
by LilMissLazy
Summary: Pay no mind to title! It has nothing to do with the story, besides the fact that it has ninja in it. It also has lots of boys. But anyway this is a story about Tobi, two ocs and thier adventures. Rating will go up. Has almost no plot. My first fic! R&R pl
1. Tobi & Deidara

Hi everybody!

Anyways, this may sound angst y and stuff, but it will get better.

(Or not, it really all depends on your opinion) 3

well, . . .

Enjoy!

"speaking" thoughts'

_Dark. That was the way it would be described. Her unusual and thoughtful gaze swept over the land before she spotted what she was looking for. Her family's most powerful katana. It had been passed down over many generations in their clan, and now..._

_It would be the weapon used for their demise._

_Her hand held a firm grip in the sword. She slowly made her way to the main house of the clan's head. Her father. She slowly and discreetly made her ways through the halls and killed anyone in her path. She stepped into her parent's room. She slowly put the katana over her parent's necks and with one swift movement, they were left headless._

_The night was filled with screams and death. Blood covered the clan's grounds. Sheer terror filled the minds of innocent before their quick and brutal demise. It seemed to be a chorus of screams._

_And it was music to her ears._

_The only one left beside the killer, was her little sister. Apparently, the little girl was worthy of life in the murderer's eyes. Also, the girls were best friends. And now, the only ones that were left._

_That night, they gathered their most important and treasured belongings, along with essentials and money. Sunlight broke over the hills as the sky seemed to blend into the land, filled with the blood of their clan. Then they left silently and swiftly through the blood showered dawn. And left Konoha._

"But that was seven years ago,..." Our mysterious murderer stated as she sunk back into sleep, and continued to let her memories wash over her subconsciousness.

"This is the one Leader has been looking for, un." From the trees, the blond Iwa shinobi watched as their targets slept.

"Ooh! Really? Tobi heard she can make delicious waffles! Does sempai think she will make some for Tobi?" The masked man asked from beside his partner.

"How should I know un?! Besides, You have to stay quiet or they will hear us un!" the Iwa nin scolded his obnoxious partner.

Then, a mere fraction of a second later, a katana was at the unsuspecting Iwa nin's neck.

"Too late for that, now isn't it?"

A/N: Yayz! Now, REVIEW! Pleases? I'll give you a cookie! Wait, . . . How am I going to get you a cookie? Especially over the Internet? I don't even know you! Well, be nice and review anyways. Bye!


	2. Akatsuki time!

Hiya peoplez!

Oh yeah! I forgot to say that i don't own Naruto, sooo

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto in any way, sort, shape, or fashion. If you do accuse me of this, Sai shall appear at your door and serenade you with slutty Britney Spears music witch I also don't own.

On with the chapter!

Our mysterious shinobi had our little Iwa nin in a very unfavorable position. "So, What do you want with mey sister and I? Hmm, seems that your from Akatsuki."

"Yes, we are from Akatsuki, and we want to make a deal, un. Or rather a statement. You come with us or we will drag you by your toenails if we have to, as embarrassing as it might be. But I could probably get Tobi to do it, un." The blond stated actually very calmly.

"Hm. That sounds interesting." Our little murdering nin considered the offer. "Alright, but only if you let me take my sister. She is almost as skilled as I and would probably suit your organization." She slowly lowered her katana and put it back into her sheath.

"Alright, well then, I'm Deidara. And from now on you and your sister shall call me Deidara Danna, un. When we get back to the hideout, the rest or at lest most of the Akatsuki will be there, un. Once we arrive you will be given cloaks and clothes for the Akatsuki, un. Now wake your sister and come on, un."

"No need." The younger of the sisters cut in. "Camp is packed up Deidara Danna, we are ready for travel. By the way, Name is Rosanjin Tsukiko, and my older sister, Rosanjin Yokiko."Tsukiko grinned. "Yoy guys can call us Yuki and Tsuki too though."

"Yay!" Tobi jumped up and down before glomping the sisters. "Tobi has some new friends! Hey! Can Yuki make Tobi waffles back at base? Tobi heard they were delicious!" Tobi had only just realized that while Tsuki was still in his grip, Yuki was right behind him.

"Ha!" Just then, Yuki began to tickle Tobi, and he immediately let go of Tsuki and was on the ground giggling before full out laughing.

"P-Plea-se s-s-stop!" Tobi managed to get out between laughs. Then Yuki stopped with a disappointed sort of look. "Thank you!"

Tobi then caught the look on Yuki's face. "Don't be sad! Tobi still wants to be your friend." At this Yuki brightened up a bit.

"Okay! Now lets set off!" Yuki and Tobi turned to see a happy Tsuki and a disturbed Deidara.

During their journey, Tobi decided to get a better look at the girls. Yuki had short hair that went to her shoulders. Her hair was charcoal black with tips of shiny silver, and at the top of her head were,... Black, little wolf ears?

At this Tobi was a little surprised. He was even more surprised that her little sister Tsuki also had the little wolf ears except hers were more of a very dark blue. "Hey Yuki-chan, why do you and Tsuki-chan have wolf ears on top of your heads?" Tobi asked. Then Tobi inspected them more carefully and found that their eyes seemed to glow in the dark, and the irises of their eyes were green, then faded into yellow in the middle just before the pupil of their eyes. "And yellow eyes?" Tobi searched them further and found tails sticking out of their shinobi pants. "And tails?"

Tsuki looked a little nervous that Tobi had picked up on it so quickly while Yuki just answered "Uhh, Tobi-san, we," Yuki hesitated, but only for a moment. "We are Wolf people. Not werewolves because we are like this all the time, not just on the full moon." Yuki explained.

"Please don't hate us!" Tsuki pleaded. "That is the reason we left! They all shunned us! They were expecting us to be weapons and nothing more! They would seclude us from everyone but each other!"

"Noo! Tobi could never hate you guys! Tobi was just wondering. Besides, Tobi thinks that they're kwaii!" Tobi really, and I mean REALLY didn't like the Idea of a weeping girl and Deidara just looked thankful that they didn't cry all over him. Neither of the boys knew how to handle a depressed girl that could just DECIDE to kill you one day.

"Thanks Tobi-san! It would be like torture if we just got invited to a place and be shunned there too." Tsuki thanked as the group started to break into a full out sprint.

After about two hours of running, The group stopped in front of a cave in a mountain. A big door was blocking the entrance. Once granted entrance, the girls looked around nearly speechless. In front of them was a nice looking mansion that could easily house fifteen people.

Once inside, they looked about ready to faint. The place was a mess.

Dishes stacked feet high in the sink and living room, boxes of take-out all over, clothes just thrown onto random places, and it seemed like someone tried to hide carrots underneath the couch, . . . the list goes on.

Immediately the girls started to clean and miraculously, they had it all cleaned in about fifteen minutes. "The skill of Yuki and Tsuki cannot be surpassed in any way! Even in household chores!" Yuki and Tsuki chanted and did a high five.

"O...k then. Hey Tobi, show them to their rooms. I'll go inform leader-sama of our arrival." Deidara said as he walked down a long, dark hall. It seemed the only place so dark in the entire mansion.

"Hai Deidara Danna! Okay, Yuki, Tsuki, we have five extra rooms. You can choose from them and then move your stuff in. Then you must go see leader-sama about joining and other stuff." Tobi explained as they walked down another hall.

They arrived at the end of a hall and stairs. Once on the second floor, Tobi showed them the extra rooms. They were nicely sized with a closet, mirror, nightstand, desk, and bed in each room. Other than that the rooms were very plain.

The girls chose rooms next to each other.

"Okay guys. Let's go. We don't want to keep Leader-sama waiting." Tobi called the girls after they put away their things. This could be interesting, . . .

A/N: Okay! Oh, I forgot to tell you that the ocs are modeled after my sister and I. My sister is Yokiko, and I'm Tsukiko. Also I will not update over the weekend. My dad has no internet I have to be there all of the four day weekend. Anywho, REVIEW!! Or else I won't update. I just need one or two for each chapter, but as I said, none all the four day weekend, or maybe one on the last night and it would be kinda late. Anywayz, be nice! This is only my second day of being judged by anyone who actually reads this. Byez!


	3. Akatsuki, meet the girls

A/N: Okay! Third chappie! I promise this will be funny, just wait. Sorry if it's not up to your standards. I don't own Naruto in any way, sort or fashion.

On with the fic!

Deidara had just informed leader of the girls' arrival. Now the wolf-people plus Tobi travel through the halls of the base.

The group arrives at a big door that is down the darker halls. The door opens to a big room with many of the Akatsuki members all lined up before a tall shadowy figure.

Tobi and Deidara bow in the leader's presence. The sisters do so also.

"you may rise." A dark voice fills the vast cave-like room. "good work Deidara and Tobi. I assume all went smoothly."

"Yes Leader-sama. We have brought the girls and they are unharmed, un." Deidara spoke in a unusually even and calm voice. Or at least for Deidara.

"Good. Yokiko, Tsukiko, you will be apprentice to other members until there is an opened spot in Akatsuki. Yuki will be apprentice to Tobi." Under his mask, Tobi was beaming. Every other person in the room besides leader was a little doubtful of leader's decision. "Tsuki, you will be apprentice of Deidara. Until you can be trusted, you will share rooms with your senseis. They will also tell you any other things you might need to know. Do you understand?"

The girls nodded as they let the information sink in. "Good. You are dismissed and may introduce yourselves to the other members.." The leader left and every one else exited the big doors that they entered through.

Yuki followed Tobi while her sister Tsuki followed Deidara. They then made their way through the halls to the living room.

Some Akatsuki left to their rooms while the rest just sat on the couch watching T V. The girls and their masters stood at the far side of the room away form all others. "Okay, un. First off, there is Itachi. You guys should know about him since your from Konoha, un. Then there is his partner, Kisame. He is the big guy that looks like a shark, un. Then there is Zetsu. He is the plant guy. Be careful around him, he eats people along with other things made of meat, un. Hidan and Kakuzu are up in their rooms, Hidan is the guy with pink eyes and silver hair, and Kakuzu is the one with a mask that isn't Tobi, un. Then there is Konan, but she is really mysterious and nobody ever sees her around much, un." Deidara explained.

After The explanation, the girls found a spot on the rather large couch. Also right next to Kisame.

"Hey Kisame!" The sisters greeted in eerie unison.

Kisame just looked at them for a moment. He noticed that the sisters had little wolf ears on their heads, also they had long furry tailes the same color as their ears and hair. "Hey. You girls like the Akatsuki so far?" Kisame smiled as the girls nodded. "Good. Anyways, I kinda feel sorry for you Yuki, You have to train under Tobi. Gotta tell you, he isn't the brightest kid, but it wasn't my decision."

"Yeah, anyway," Yuki began " Would you answer some questions for me?" Yuki asked. She gave him the sweetest little smile with wide eyes. Irresistible to almost anybody.

"Shure." Kisame answered.

"Okay!" The sisters now had very fun questions to ask our little shark friend. Poor Kisame doesn't know what he had gotten himself into. Tsuki asked the first question. "I have a tree. On the tree is 8 apples. For every apple, there is 63 leaves. For every leaf, there is 1/7 of a yellow leaf. For every full yellow leaf, there is 8 bugs. For every 4 bugs, there is a rabbit. If you can feed 1 fox with 2 rabbits, how many foxes can survive?" Kisame looked very confused.

"Why the hell would you need to know THAT?" Kisame asked.

"Weeel, one, it is rude to answer a question with another question. Two, it was math homework." Tsuki explained.

It took a while for Kisame to think of a response to this. Then it hit him. "You guys don't go to school! You don't get math homework!" Kisame fumed. At first, he thought he could have a relationship with one of the pretty little sisters, but now they seem to be too annoying.

"I said it WAS math homework, besides, I never got the answer because that is the day we left that I got that problem." Tsuki pulled a paper out of her pocket and unfolded it. "See? This is my homework from seven years ago! It's problem 12. I never got around to finishing it." Kisame was real pissed by now.

"WHY DID YOU SAVE YOUR HOMEWORK FROM SEVEN YEARS AGO? IF YOU LEFT, WHY DO YOU STILL NEED TO ANSWER IT? ESPECIALLY AFTER SEVEN YEARS? DID YOU SAVE IT SO IN THE FUTURE, YOU COULD DISTURB ME?" Kisame shouted. Now he was furious.

"Well Kisame, over the years, I have met numerous amounts of people." Tsuki began. "I had always wanted to know the answer to this question, but nobody seemed right to ask. Now, I come to Akatsuki. And you seem to be the perfect person to ask. I was also too lazy to do out the work myself. In other words, I WANT to know and you seemed to be the perfect guy to ask!" Yuki nodded at her sister's explanation.

"Oh, well TOO BAD 'CAUSE I'M NOT ANSWERING IT!" Kisame stormed off into his room.

"For a while now, the rest of the Akatsuki in the room have been watching the little argument, the T V long forgotten.

The sisters noticed the stares, and burst into laughter. "Good one Tsuki!" Yuki said between laughs.

"Thanks Yuki!" Then they did a high five and continued laughing.

"Things will be pretty odd in Akatsuki from now on." Itachi said calmly, but inside he was quite disturbed.

"Yay!" Tobi jumped up and down. He liked the pair of troublemakers. Deidara definitely did not look forward to training these nutjobs though.

And up in his room, Kisame was plotting the girls' demise.

Yayz! Okay. This is fun! Anyways, I know I didn't describe the ocs too well sooo,

**My sister's character, Yokiko**:

**Hair**: Black with silver tips, shoulder length

**Eye color**: Green that fades to yellow in the middle (her real eye color)

**Hight**: 6 feet (Her hight at 17)

**Cloths**: Black sleeveless top with V neck and fishnet top over it, going ¾ of the way down her arms. Black leather jacket. Black ninja pants with kunai pouch on her right leg. Ninja sandals. Scratched leaf headband aroung neck.

**Powers**: Read the story and find out!

**My character, Tsukiko**:

**Hair**:Navy blue with silver tips.

**Eye color**: Same as my sister's ( my real eye color)

**Hight**: 5' 10" (Hight at 17)

**Cloths**: Same shirt and fishnet as my sister's. Dark blue jacket with a hood. Dark blue ninja pants with kunai pouch on right leg. Ninja sandals. Scratched leaf headband on left upper arm.

**Power**: We already discussed this.

Anywayz, see you guys later! I'll update after a few more reviews. And anyone that answers the question can make a request for something to happen in the story! Unless my sister and I don't agree with it. Sasori isn't going to be in this because this is after he dies and after the timeskip. Other than those things, the story won't really follow the show or manga. At all. So don't complain if you notice these things.

Review please! I really would like to know what people think of my story! Be nice, this is still my first fic.

Byez: 3


	4. Past stories

Yayz! Hope you like it so far, and I got a lot more hits so I decided to write this chapter well for my readers! (plus my sister begged me until she actually saw me typing) Anywayz, don't own naruto!

Warning! There is serious stuff later in the chapter! I know this is humor, and maybe I'll change it to just general. I'm not so good at writing humor in a long fiction apparently.

Enjoy and on with the fic!

&&&&&&

The sisters just spent the rest of the evening plotting schemes to annoy the Akatsuki, but then they decided to seek out Tobi and Deidara. Then a thought popped into 'lil Tsuki's mind, "Hey Yuki, if we have our own rooms, why do we have to share with Tobi-Danna and Deidara-Danna?" Tsuki asked.

"Well, they probably don't want us sneaking out in the middle of the night. Until they trust us more, we will probably share rooms with our dannas." Yuki replied.

"Oh, thanks for telling me! I'm off to find Deidara-Danna." Tsuki said before they went their separate ways in the halls. Tsuki finds her way to Deidara's room. "Hi Deidara-Danna!"Tsuki greeted the blond. Deidara had been sitting on is bed making little clay birds.

"Hey Tsuki, un." Deidara was a little too into his clay birds. Tsuki decided to fix that.

"Hey Deidara-Danna?" Tsuki asked oh so sweetly.

"Yeah, un." Deidara is still consumed by the task of molding his clay.

"If you would get Tobi something, what would he really like?" Tsuki asked. This got his attention.

"Wouldn't you like to know, un. Why do you ask?" Deidara was a little suspicious now.

"Well, I know we only met today, but my sister would e a good match for him. Trust me, I know this stuff." Tsuki replied.

Deidara thought about it a while. _'Maybe if the twerp gets a girlfriend, he won't bug me anymore.'_Deidara reasoned. "Okay, but I don't really know what exactly to get him, un. I never really liked the guy too much un. As far as I know, he likes whatever a little kid would, un." Deidara stated.

"Thanks Deidara-Danna!" Then, Tsuki decided to mess with our poor Deidara. "Hey Deidara." This time, Tsuki asked with an evil grin.

"Yeah?" Deidara then set his attention back on sculpting his clay.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" Tsuki asked oh so innocently.

Deidara froze. He hadn't been expecting that. "Not really, un." Deidara looked away, a small blush across his face.

"Why?" Tsuki asked.

"Because of the mouths on my hands. Girls think that they are creepy, un." Deidara lifted his hand to show the wolf girl. "I like them though because they help me make my art un." Deidara set back to work on the small clay bird.

"Oh! Can I see?" Tsuki asked. Now she had that little too cute to resist look on her face.

"Sure. You know, before my Danna, Sasori died, he used to make fun of my art un. He said that art should be eternal and last forever, but I always told him otherwise, un." Deidara lowered his head a bit. "I still miss him though un."

Tsuki looked at the blond. She felt sympathy for him, because she had also had to leave behind a very important person to her. Though she would always seem happy, it was just an attempt to cut herself off from the harsh reality of life. It usually worked too.

"Deidara-Danna, I know how hard it is to leave someone very special to you behind, but we all have to make sacrifices. I remember when I was seven years old, I fell ill. I had caught a fatal disease. I also remember that the person that I cherished most fell to the same illness. Just a month after we recovered, she died."

By now, Tsuki was on the brink of tears. "I couldn't believe that she died. Oh, and she always wanted to see the ocean, but she never got the chance. I cried for months. I asked why she would want to leave us. I almost killed myself to join her in the heavens, but my sister wouldn't allow it. Over the years, i got over it. Some things cannot be helped. I know you will get over it, and I know it takes time, but I will always be here if you need me."

Deidara looked up at her almost disbelievingly. "How could you have a best friend if you were always secluded form others, un?"

"Someone had to take care of us while we were young. We were also taken care of intensely. The reason she died is because the head thought she gave me that awful disease, though it is not contagious. They had her executed for endangering one of their greatest successes. She was so nice too. Also, when it is only you and your sister, you can get almost desperate for companionship, and it seemed she was always there. As far back as I can remember, she was always there. It was my fault she got killed, too. If I didn't get sick, it would've never happened. We were planning on taking her with us when we left the clan."

Tsuki lowered her head in shame. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to cheer you up, and I'm burdening you with my problems. I'll just go to bed now. Good night Deidara-Danna." Then on, Deidara felt a little sorry for the girls. They had been cursed to be wolf people, secluded from almost all others, and also, had the one person that would take care of them killed at such a young age.

It wasn't so far off from his childhood.

"Good night, Tsuki, un." Deidara turned out the lights and let sleep overcome him.

&&&&&&

Yayz!I gave the girls a sad past. Almost all human interaction cut off. But it was alright. Anywayz review please! I know you people aren't reviewing, 64 hits and 4 reviews that are from my sisters because I said I won't update until I get sum. But there has got to be at least one person to like this fic! If not, I just won't continue and my sister will bug me until I do and then it will be all your fault that she is sad because it is not my fault you won't review so review!


	5. Wafflez!

Yayz! Oh I'm soo happy that someone actually reviewed me! The first four I got is because I told my sisters to review, and so I looked to see who sent the other couple, and I was a little disturbed that it was from the SAME GUY in one day. But now I'm still happy that someone cares! BTW, that is how I know people care.

Don't own Naruto or any of the music in this chapter!

On with the chappie!

&&&&&&

The next morning, Tsuki woke up and decided to wake up her sister. She walked down the halls to Tobi's room, "Hey Yuki, get up and make waffles!" Tsuki whispered through the door. Thanks to their sharp hearing, Yuki could hear her sister and was out of bed.

"Be right there." Yuki whispered back. She jumped out of bed and pulled on her socks. Then they traveled to their rooms to shower and change. They dressed in their normal cloths since they were not yet Akatsuki, plus they liked their clothes.

As soon as they walked out of their rooms, Tobi was in the middle of the hallway, as if waiting for something. "Waffles?!" Tobi eagerly asked.

The girls were a little shocked that Tobi had heard them when he was half asleep and they were whispering through the door."Uhh, sure! I'll make waffles, but first, you have to show me where the kitchen is." Yuki said, smiling.

"Yay!" Tobi then took of like a rocket, and it was a little difficult for our little wolf girls to follow. Once they arrived at the kitchen, Tobi sat and awaited the delicious waffles he had wanted to taste since he had ever heard that the girls made waffles.

"'Kay! Tsuki, I need these things." Yuki haded her sister a small list. Then she turned her attention to a waffle maker. She turned it on and got it ready as Tsuki magically whipped out the ingredients from seemingly nowhere.

"Got it all Yuki1 I'll go keep Tobi occupied while you make the waffles." Tsuki then walked off to where Tobi was seated. "Hiya Tobi-san!" Tsuki greeted. So what do you want to do while Yuki is making the waffles?" she asked. Her tail waged behind her.

"Tobi wants to know how Yuki and Tsuki got tails and ears." Tobi said. If you could see his face, it would be glowing with curiosity.

Tsuki looked at Tobi for a moment. "Oh, okay. You see, about ten years before the Kyuubi attack, our village wanted to breed a strong set of ninja. They decided to use altering jutsu to try to bond elements, gods, and demons to dogs to test their jutsu. On one, they succeeded, and they observed it's life. Eventually the dog escaped and breed with a wolf.. Then there was a long line of wolves that had amazing powers, but they were captured and killed. All but one died." Tsuki paused.

" Now this was five years before the attack, and the wolf was the most powerful yet,and decided to pass it's power to humans. He had to divide the power so that a child could withstand it without becoming tainted or evil. The only reason he was kept from using the power is because he was a very strong willed. Then the wolf traveled to our village in the leaf. He stayed until he too was captured but he did not die. About three years later, he decided to give the power to my sister and I. He probably thought we would be great shinobi with such power and since we were sisters, we could help each other through the hardships of such a blessing, like being alone." Tsuki paused again. She was sure the waffles would be done soon, so she would just tell Tobi the rest, or most of it, and go eat yummy waffles. "Then once the Kyuubi attacked, the dog passed its power to us and died in battle. Because the power was given by a wolf, these ears and tails were also given to us. Then the village knew they had achieved something, and experimented and observed us. We escaped and haven't been to the place since." Tsuki finished the story just as Yuki called them for waffles.

"Oh! It's waffle time! It's waffle time! Please come have some waffles of mine!"Yuki sang as she set a big plate-o-waffles on the table.

Tobi immediately began to eat as the other Akatsuki members walked into the room after smelling waffles. After a while, all the members were eating and pleasantly talking amongst themselves. This was quite unusual for the group, but the waffles were too good to spoil with argument. Hidan is excluded from all this because he is incapable of speaking without swearing, so he just ate in silence.

After the delicious waffles, the Akatsuki left on missions, or went to different places throughout the base. That is when the girls noticed a bar downstairs. And not just _any_ bar, but a _karaoke_ bar. " Dude!" Tsuki yelled. Yuki walked in to see if there was any drinks or mixers.

"This place is stocked! We should take advantage before anyone knows we're down here."Yuki suggested. After a few drinks, the girls decided to do karaoke.

"I'm p first!"Yuki shouted. She turned on the music, ran onto stage and began to sing beautifully.

**Paper bags & plastic hearts  
All are belongings in shopping carts  
It's goodbye,  
But we got one more night  
Let's get drunk and drive around  
& make peace with an empty town  
We can make it right**

Throw it away  
Forget yesterday  
We'll make the great escape  
We won't hear a word they say  
They don't know us anyway  
Watch it burn  
Let it die  
Cause we are finally free tonight

**  
**The other members had noticed the music and followed it to the bar. They stared as Yuki sang. Even drunk, she sounded beautiful.

**  
Tonight will change our lives  
It's so good to be by your side  
But we'll cry  
We won't give up the fight  
We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs  
& they'll think it's just cause we're young  
& we'll feel so alive**

Throw it away  
Forget yesterday  
We'll make the great escape  
We won't hear a word they say  
They don't know us anyway

Watch it burn  
Let it die  
Cause we are finally free tonight

All of the wasted time  
The hours that were left behind  
The answers that we'll never find  
They don't mean a thing tonight

Throw it away  
Forget yesterday  
We'll make the great escape  
We won't hear a word they say  
They don't know us anyway

Throw it away  
Forget yesterday  
We'll make the great escape  
We won't hear a word they say  
They don't know us anyway

Throw it away  
Forget yesterday  
We'll make the great escape  
We won't hear a word they say  
They don't know us anyway  
Watch it burn  
Let it die  
Cause we are finally free tonight

The small crowd applauded. "My turn!" Tsuki yelled. She turned on her song and ran onto stage.

**Sometimes I get so weird  
I even freak myself out  
I laugh myself to sleep  
It's my lullaby  
Sometimes I drive so fast  
Just to feel the danger  
I wanna scream  
It makes me feel alive**

Is it enough to love?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out  
And leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines  
Would make my life so boring  
I want to know that I  
Have been to the extreme  
So knock me off my feet  
Come on now give it to me  
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out  
And leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defenses  
Use no common sense  
If you look you will see  
that this world is this beautiful  
accident turbulent succulent  
opulent permanent  
No way I wanna taste it  
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird  
I even freak myself out  
I laugh my self to sleep  
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?  
Is it enough?  
Is it enough to breathe?  
Somebody rip my heart out  
And leave me here to bleed  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?  
Is it enough to die?  
Somebody save my life  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please  
oh  
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.  


By now most of the Akatsuki were drunk and thought it would be fun to sing. Surprisingly, Hidan ran onto stage as the music began to play.

**She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing  
She pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion  
She laughs at my dreams but I dream about her laughter  
Strange as it seems she's the one I'm after**

Cause she's bittersweet  
She knocks me off of my feet  
And I can't help myself  
I don't want anyone else  
She's a mystery  
She's too much for me  
But I keep coming back for more  
She's just the girl I'm looking for

She can't keep a secret for more than an hour  
She runs on 100 proof attitude power  
And the more she ignores me the more I adore her  
What can I do?  
I'd do anything for her

Cause she's bittersweet  
She knocks me off of my feet  
And I can't help myself  
I don't want anyone else  
She's a mystery  
She's too much for me  
But I keep coming back for more  
She's just the girl I'm looking for

The way she see's it's me  
On her caller ID  
She won't pick up the phone  
She'd rather be alone  
But I can't give up just yet   
Cause every word she's ever said  
Is still ringing in my head  
Still ringing in my head

She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doing  
Knows just what to say so my whole day is ruined

Cause she's bittersweet  
She knocks me off of my feet  
And I can't help myself  
I don't want anyone else  
She's a mystery  
She's too much for me   
But I keep coming back for more

Cause she's bittersweet  
She knocks me off of my feet  
And I can't help myself  
I don't want anyone else  
She's a mystery  
She's too much for me  
But I keep coming back for more  
Oh I keep coming back for more  
She's just the girl Im looking for.   
Just the girl I'm looking for

I'm looking for  
I'm looking for  
I'm looking for  
Just the girl I'm looking for

Next up was Kakuzu, who picked a disturbing song,...

**If you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass home  
You say: If you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass home  
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S**

We flyin' first class  
Up in the sky  
Poppin' champagne  
Livin' my life  
In the fast lane  
And I wont change  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

The glamorous,  
The glamorous, glamorous  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

The glamorous,  
The glamorous, glamorous  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

Wear them gold and diamonds rings  
All them things don't mean a thing  
Chaperons and limousines  
Shopping for expensive things  
I be on the movie screens  
Magazines and boogie scenes  
I'm not clean, I'm not pristine  
I'm no queen, I'm no machine  
I still go to Taco Bell  
Drive through, raw as hell  
I don't care, I'm still real  
No matter how many records I sell  
After the show or after the Grammies  
I like to go cool out with the family  
Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a Mustang

And now I'm in...  


**first class  
Up in the sky  
Poppin' champagne  
Livin' my life  
In the fast lane  
And I won't change  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy**

The glamorous,  
The glamorous, glamorous  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

The glamorous,  
The glamorous, glamorous

By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

I'm talking Champagne wishes, caviar dreams  
You deserve nothing but all the finer things  
Now this whole world has no clue what to do with us  
I've got enough money in the bank for the two of us  
Brother gotta keep enough lettuce  
To support your shoe fetish  
Lifestyles so rich and famous  
Robin Leach will get jealous  
Half a million for the stones  
Taking trips from here to Rome  
So If you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass home  
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

We flyin' first class  
Up in the sky  
Poppin' champagne  
Livin' the life  
In the fast lane  
And I wont change  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

The glamorous,  
The glamorous, glamorous  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

The glamorous,  
The glamorous, glamorous  
By the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy

I got problems up to here  
I've got people in my ear  
Telling me these crazy things  
That I don't want to know  
I've got money in the bank  
And I'd really like to thank  
All the fans, I'd like to thank  
Thank you really though  
Cause I remember yesterday  
When I dreamt about the days  
When I'd rock on MTV, that be really dope  
Damn, It's been a long road  
And the industry is cold  
I'm glad my daddy tell me so  
he let his daughter know.

(If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home)  
My daddy told me so  
(I said, If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home)  
He let his daughter know  
(If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home)  
My daddy told me so  
(If you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home)  
He let his daughter know 

After Kakuzu's awful performance, Deidara got onto stage.

**Let me know that I've done wrong  
When I've known this all along  
I go around a time or two  
Just to waste my time with you**

Tell me all that you've thrown away  
Find out games you don't wanna play  
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret

Who has to know  
When we live such fragile lives  
It's the best way we survive  
I go around a time or two  
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away  
Find out games you don't wanna play  
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)

Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret

Who has to know  
The way she feels inside (inside)  
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)  
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)  
And all I've tried to hide  
It's eating me apart  
Trace this life out

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret  
Dirty little secret  
Dirty little secret

Who has to know?  
Who has to know? 

Zetzu decided to join the party and walked up onto stage. His singing was a slur of both his personalities trying to sing different songs at the same time. It could not be deciphered. Next up was Itachi, Itachi let Tobi pick his song because he wasn't thinking clearly enough to pick one himself. Tobi on the other hand was thinking all too clearly, and decided to prank Itachi. He pushed drunken Kisame onto stage and music began to play.

**Do you believe in magic?**

CHORUS  
Just like the story 'bout the Wizard of Oz  
I have a wish to be a very special girl  
I really really wanna know so much  
So tell me are you the Wizard of Oz?

Will you take me to the land of Oz  
Yes, I will, come on (Let's go then)  
But that's your house, and not the land of Oz  
But this is much more fun (Really)

You can be my wizard  
But don't tell anyone

Repeat CHORUS

Wizard, wizard  
Will you be my wizard?

I am searching for the magic land  
Follow me, my girl (Okay)  
Do you have to touch me with your magic hands  
It's part of the ritual (Hey, hands off, Mister)

Listen to the wizard  
And you'll be magical

Repeat CHORUS  
(Love you)

Wizard, wizard  
Will you be my wizard?

Ho ho ho ho ho  
Welcome to the land of Oz  
Is this the land of Oz?  
Wow! It's so beautiful  
It's magical

Wizard, wizard  
Will you be my wizard?  
(Excuse me, which way to fly?)  
Wizard, wizard  
Will you be my wizard?  
(Shh, it's a secret!)

Repeat CHORUS

Wizard, wizard  
I have a wish to be, be, be  
Be, be, be  
Wizard, wizard  
So tell me are you the Wizard of Oz  
Tell me are you the Wizard of Oz

(Of course I am) 

Now to bring us to our finale, Tobi jumped onto stage and of _course_ picked the longest song he could think of,...

**Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the  
stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the  
street from Jerry's Bait Shop... You know the place... Well anyway,  
back then life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy...  
except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning my   
mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast.  
Dawww!! Big bowl of sauerkraut!  
Every single mornin'! It was driving me crazy.**

I said to my mom, I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"   
And my dear, sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an  
oncoming train. And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, "IT'S  
JUST FOR YOU!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my  
mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was 26 and a half  
years old.

That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that  
basement and travel to a magical, far away place, where the sun is  
always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels  
are oh so fluffy! Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles  
all day long, and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for  
a nickel!

Wacka wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream  
came true. Because the very next day, a local radio station had this  
contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in  
Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand  
prize. That's right, a first class, one-way ticket...

to Albuquerque!  
Albuquerque!

Oh yeah. You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta  
tell ya, it was really great... except that I had to sit between two large  
Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor. And the little kid in  
back of me kept throwin' up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of  
Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with   
Pauly Shore...and, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out, and we  
went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a  
giant fireball and everybody died. Except for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up  
And my seat back in the full upright position  
Had my tray table up  
And my seat back in the full upright position  
Had my tray table up  
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha. Ah-ha-ha. Aahhh. So I crawled from the twisted, burnin'   
wreckage, I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, draggin'  
along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone  
and my 12-pound bowlin' ball and my lucky, lucky autographed  
glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the world famous  
Albuquerque Holiday Inn where the towels are oh so fluffy! And you can  
eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It's OK, they're   
clean.

Well, I checked into my room, and I turned down the A/C, and I turned  
on the SpectraVision, and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate  
mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much, when suddenly there's  
a knock on the door. Well, now, who could that be?

I say, "Who is it?" No answer.  
"Who is it?" There's no answer.  
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin' anything.  
So finally, I go over and I open the door, and just as I suspected,  
it's some big, fat hermaphrodite with a flock of seagulls, haircut, and  
only one nostril. Oh, man, I hate it when I'm right.

So, anyway, he bursts into my room, and he grabs my lucky snorkel, and  
I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a  
snorkel to me."

And he's like, "Tough!"   
And I'm like, "Give it!"  
And he's like, "Make me!"  
And I'm like, "'kay!"  
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus, and I bit off his ear  
and he chewed off my eyebrows, and I took out his appendix and he gave  
a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it. And somehow in  
the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook. And twenty  
seconds later, I heard a familiar voice. And you know what it said?  
I'll tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.  
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.  
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.  
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator."

In Albuquerque!   
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I  
made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest, I would  
not sleep for an instant, until the one-nostrilled man was brought to   
justice.

But first, I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car, and I  
drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guy behind the  
counter and he says, "Yeah, whaddaya want??"

I said, "You got any glazed donuts?"  
He said, "Nah, we're outta glazed donuts."  
I say, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"  
He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts."   
I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"   
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."  
I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?" 

He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls!"  
I said, "You got any apple fritters?"  
He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters!"  
I said, "You got any bear claws?"  
He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."

"No, we're outta bear claws!"  
I said, "Well, in that case... in that case, what do you have?"  
He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving crazed weasels."  
I said, "OK, I'll take that."  
So he hands me the box, and I open up the lid, and the weasels jump out  
and they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over.  
Oh, man, they were just goin' nuts! They were tearin' me apart! You   
know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started  
goin' through my head. I believe it went a little somethin' like this:

DOH! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! Ohhh! No, get 'em off, get 'em  
off! Oh, oh God, oh God! Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God! Ah,   
AaaaaaahhhhhhhhhOhhhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my  
face, wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' like  
a constipated wiener dog. And as luck would have it, that's exactly  
when I ran into the girl of my dreams. Her name was Zelda. She was a  
caligraphy enthusiast, with a slight overbite, and hair the color of  
strained peaches. I'll never forget the very first thing she said to  
me. She said, "Hey, you've got weasels on your face." 

That's when I knew it was true love. We were inseparable after that.  
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece  
of mint-flavored dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got  
married, and we bought us a house and had two beautiful children,   
Nathaniel and Superfly. Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh yeah.  
But then, one fateful night, Zelda said to me, she said, "Sweetie  
pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Woah!  
Hold on now, baby! I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!" 

So we broke up, and I never saw her again  
but that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque!   
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me, because about a week  
later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream. That's right, I got me a  
part-time job at the Sizzler! I even made employee of the month after I  
put out that grease fire with my face. Aw yeah, everybody was pretty  
jealous of me after that. I was gettin' a lot of attitude.

OK, like one time, I was out in the parkin' lot, tryin' to remove my excess  
earwax with a golf pencil, when I see this guy Marty  
tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I-I say to  
him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And  
Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, "No, I want you  
to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!" So I did.

And then he gets all indignant on me. He's like, "Hey, man, I was just  
being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great. How was I supposed to know  
that? I'm not a mind reader, for cryin' out loud. Besides, now he's got  
a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy! So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. This guy comes up to  
me on the street and he tells me he hasn't had a bite in three days.  
Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny, I took a big bite out  
of his jugular vein. And he's yelling and screaming and bleeding all  
over, and I'm like, "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?" But he just keeps   
rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding and screaming, "Aaaahhhh!  
AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!" You know, completely missing the irony of  
the whole situation. Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...um...where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway, I-I know it's kind of a roundabout way of   
saying it, but, I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is...  
I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say. And, by the way,  
if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential  
quandry, full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and   
isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take  
a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this  
crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a little place

called Albuquerque!   
Albuquerque!  
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)  
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)  
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)  
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I said A! (A!)  
L! (L!)  
B! (B!)   
U! (U!)  
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)  
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)  
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)  
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)  
Al...buquerque!   
burp  
heh heh heh heh 

After this ordeal is over, everyone fell asleep and magically were back in their beds in the morning.

Creepy.

&&&&&&

Yayz! I've always wanted to do songs and put them into a fiction. So I did! I really waned to put those in. the names of the songs are "the great escape", "anything but ordinry", "just the girl I'm looking for", "Glamorous", "Dirty little secret", "Wizard Of Oz", and my favorite "Albuquerque"! Anywayz, if you don't like the song part, TOO BAD! It will appear in the fic frequently 'cause my sis and I like to sing with each other, so our characters will sing! Oh, and I shall change the genre before the next update to general. Review Please! Byez!


	6. What Happens When You Mess With Death

Yayz! A new chappie! I promised my sis that I would make this chappie fun. You will also learn the powers of at least one of the girls. Woot! Anyways, Don't own Naruto!

On with the chappie!

&&&&&&

One bright shiney morning, Kisame was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV. Then, the wolf girls raced into the room, Tobi close behind. "Hey Kisame, what's my cat's name?!" Tsuki hollered.

"Uhh,...Wait! You don't have a cat!" Kisame yelled.

"I do now!" Just as Tsuki said that, a black cat walked into the room and sat beside Kisame. Kisame thought it was familiar, especially with the red eyes. "I'll give you a hint, It _used_ to be Itachi." Tsuki whispered to Kismae.

Kisame just looked at the cat. Then it hit him "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Kisame screamed as he jumped off the couch.

"I changed him! Now he shall be," Tsuki paused for dramatic effect. "WEASEL-CAT!" The girls boke into laughter. "The most dangerous kitty alive!"

Kisame was dumbstruck. "How did you guys get such a strange jutsu?" Kisame asked.

"It isn't a jutsu. No hand signs, no chakara needed, nothing. No jutsu was used in the morphing of weasel-cat." Tsuki said, now clam after her laughing fit.

"Then how the hell did you change Itachi?" Kisame asked, actually scared of what the girls might say.

"Well, we feel like keeping you in suspence, so we will tell yo where it started!" Yuki said as her sister began to tell the story.

-Flashback!-

A week after the girls had moved in, they were woken up early to start training. The girls excelled in all jutsu, but never revealed what their true powers were. Then Tobi decided to ask.

"Hey girls, why do you hold back? Tobi knows it takes more than that to get leader to search for you. Can you guys show Tobi? Is it cool?" Tobi was just filled with questions.

"Hey Tobi, I know what we can do to show you our powers and have a little fun." Tsuki said mischievously.

"Really?!" Tobi asked.

"Yeah! I know Itachi and Kisame came back from their mission, so lets ask them a nice little question." Tsuki was now coming up with a perfect little plan. "Lets find 'Tachi-san!" Yuki yelled as they took off in Itachi's direction, Tobi close behind.

"Hey 'Tachi!" Tsuki called out. Then they went to Itachi's room. He was sitting at his desk writing something. "Hey 'Tachi, don't be mad at me, Tobi told me to do it!"

"What did you do?" Itachi turned and looked at the trio carefully.

"This!" and with that, Itachi turned into a cat.

"What did you Do?" Tobi asked.

"Well, I have the power to morph or change any substance to my desired object or form. Like turning a person into a cat!" Tsuki explained as she cuddled Itachi. "I need a new name for him."

"I know! We shall call him, WEASEL-CAT!" Yuki yelled.

"Woot!" They both cheered as they did one of their famous high-fives. "Lets go show Kisame!"

"Okay!" Then they were off again as Itachi followed at a much slower pace.

-End Flashback-

"And that was from about 10 minutes ago 'till now!" Yuki said as her sister finished her story.

"Please don't change me!" Kisame pleaded.

"Too late!" Kisame then turned into a blue cat. "Ohhh! She's so cuuute!" Kisame froze. 'SHE?!'

"Did you really make him a girl?" Yuki asked.

"Yup! Besides, It's gonna be funny when they get horny." Tsuki whispered to her sister. She could be a perv. "Then, when they are mating, I turn them back to normal! It will be soo funny! Just imagine the looks on their faces when they are back to people!"Tsuki giggled.

"Ur eeeevil!" Yuki said as she stifled a laugh.

"I know! Isn't it great? I can also make sure that happens sooner so leader doesn't find out." Tsuki then pulled out a catnip mouse and let the cats play with the toy.

The next week was pure torture for the cats. Waiting only made it worse, so then, Itachi jumped kisame and immediately started mating. In a flash, Yuki and Tsuki, were in the room, the cats were tuned human again, and Yuki took a picture for later blackmail. Then Kisame was pisssed. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Tsuki smirked "I'd like to see you try. Go ahead, slice me, rip me to shreds! I won't die, and I'll just regenerate into my original form. I'm immortal because I'm friends with the god of death." Tsuki was now grinning like a madman. "And if I wanted, I could get her to kill you off." Kisame shivered.

Suddenly, Hidan appeared "How did you meet Jashin-sama?!"

"Well, two things. One, I went to hell once with my sister, and two, he is no longer the god of death. When Yuki and I went to hell, Yuki defeated him and became the goddess of death." Tsuki giggled as Hidan fell to his knees. His world was probably mashed like a potato.

"NOOOOOOO!" Hidan yelled. "Wait! Prove it! I don't fucking believe you!" Hidan yelled at Yuki.

"You sure?" Yuki asked. Hidan nodded "Okay!" Hidan dropped to the floor, dead. Yuki turned. "Okay! Who wants Pie?" Everyone was astounded. Hidan was supposed to be immortal. "Fine! I'll bring him back to life!" Hidan then shot up from the floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?" Hidan screamed. "It was like hell!" Hidan just now realized that /yuki was not fooling around.

"Good! Now, I haven't killed you off yet because you're so loyal, but no more sacrifices, and no swearing. It's not nice." Yuki looked innocent as she spoke.

"Hai Yuki-sama!" Hidan then backed out of the room in fear of the wolf girl.

"Okay now that that's over with, I still have that pie!" Yuki cheered as she rushed to the kitchen.

"See you guys later!" Tsuki said as she chased her sister. Tobi then departed along with her.

There was only one word that Kisame could think of. "Creepy,..."

&&&&&&

Yayz! Okay! I made the girls have kool powers. See what chaos becomes of the akatsuki! Next chappie, girls get to stay in their own rooms and are sent on their first mission!

Byez!


	7. The Mission And Dave

Hiya people! This is probably gonna be a fun chapter! My sister and I were working on Ideas and it is awesome!! Don't own Naruto, or Pringles!(you will see why later.)

On with the story!

&&&&&&

A few weeks later, the girls were trusted to sleep in their own rooms. One day, they were hanging out in the living room, and poor leader happened to walk in. That's when it happened.

_**Know your Akatsuki**_

_**Know your Akatsuki**_

_**Know your Akatsuki**_

The girls seemed to smile a bit more as leade stood there. "Who said that?" Leader asked, or rather, he demanded. Then, the rest of Akatsuki walked in to see what Leader was mad about.

_**The Akatsuki Leader, Pein,...**_

"How did you know my name?!" Leader, now Pein, asked.

_**Has blazing orange hair!**_

"How did you know that?!" Now Pein was a little disturbed.

_**The Akatsuki leader, Pein,**_

_**Has a obsession with marshmallows!**_

"No I don't!" Pein insisted.

Tsuki then threw a marshmallow at Pein and he tried his hardest not to tackle the soft, tiny fluffy goodness. It was just too much for him and he jumped it. "MIIINE!" Pein screamed as he devoured the small food stuffs.

_**The Akatsuki leader Pein,-**_

"Please! No more!" Pein begged. The Akatsuki were shocked. Pein never begged. "Yuki! Tsuki! Help me!" Pein demanded.

"Sure. Hiya Dave! It's been a while hasn't it?" Yuki began to talk to the mysterious voice.

"Yuki? Tsuki? It has been a while!" The Akatsuki were now a little disturbed that the girls knew this guy.

"You know him? How come you didn't stop him earlier?!" Pein yelled.

"Two reasons, one, You didn't ask, and two, It was funny." Tsuki explained.

"I have an idea! Hey Dave, want some cake?"Yuki asked.

"Yes!" Dave answered.

"Okay! Tobi-Danna, Deidara-Danna, you guys can have cake too! But nobody else can have any because I feel evil today." Yuki said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Yay! Tobi is a good boy! Come on Deidara-sempai!" Tobi cheered as he dragged Deidara to the kitchen with him.

After Yuki made the cake, she cut six slices, and ate one while she fed Dave two, while she fed him, it looked awfully like she was mushing cake into the walls. Everyone else ate one slice of cake that were allowed to eat cake. Tobi went to his room to eat his because he didn't like people to see his face. Deidara had eaten with his palm-mouths and got icing all over his hand.

"Deidara-Danna! Wash your hands." Tsuki said as she began to wash the dishes.

"Make me, un." Deidara whined like a spoiled toddler. Tsuki turned the icing on Deidara's hands into soap.

"Now you have to wash your hands." Tsuki snickered as Deidara stood bedside her at the sink and washed his hands.

"Soap tastes awful, un." Deidara complained.

"Hey Deidara-Danna, let's go to Tobi's room and meet up with Yuki and Tobi-Danna." Tsuki said as she finished washing the dishes.

"Okay, un. That was good cake, un. Your sister is a good cook." Deidara said as they walked through the halls.

"I know." Tsuki said as she knocked on Tobi's door.

"Come in!" They heard Yuki say. They opened the door to see Tobi on the bed and Yuki sat beside him telling him a story of how she became a chef. "Hey Tsuki! Deidara-Danna!" Yuki greeted as she stood from the bed.

"Hey Yuki, Tobi-Danna. Yuki, I need to talk to you in our rooms." Tsuki said as she began to walk out.

A minute later, Kakuzu walked into the room. "Hey Tobi. I will pay you a shiny nickel if you get the girls to make a cake for the rest of us." Kakuzu was making a greedy plan of selling the cake to the rest of the members for twenty dollars a slice. It would've been genius had Tobi not have his own plans.

"'Kay Kakuzu!" Tobi then left for Tsuki's room to look for the girls. "Yuki! Tsuki! Kakuzu wants you to make another cake for him! He bribed me with a shiny nickel!" Tobi yelled as he ran over to where the girls were.

"Oh really? Well we will give him a cake."Yuki said evilly as she concocted a plan.

Later that day. "Kakuzu!" Yuki called as she carried a fresh cake. Kakuzu was waiting in the living room and walked over to Yuki.

"Thanks Yuki!" Kakuzu tasted the cake and gagged. "It's awful!"

"You never said it had to be a good cake. You just said a cake. For a nickel what did you expect anyways?" Yuki said as she walked off.

Kakuzu just threw away the cake and sobbed in his room for a while.

Later in the evening, everyone was sleeping, and then at three in the morning, the Akatsuki and Girls were called to Pein's office and were demanded to come immediately.

The girls got up from bed, and not bothering to change, headed for Pein's office. Once in the dark room, the girls bowed and then began to speak. "Why do we have to be here at three in the morning, Leader-sama?" Yuki asked. Kakuzu then walked in the room, just staring at the girls. They were wearing spaghetti strap tops and short-shorts. Tsuki wore light green with light blue trim and Yuki had pink with light green trim. The girls filled out the small cloths quite nicely.

"What are you girls wearing? It is highly inappropriate." Pein lectured.

"These are our pajamas. All girls wear something like this to go to sleep. Sometimes they wear long pj pants or a dress though. If they don't, they are weird. Besides, you said immediately, so our appearance doesn't matter if it is urgent." Tsuki explained. (Tsuki seems to explain a lot) Then Kakuzu passed out from his nose bleeding too much.

"Look what you did to Kakuzu! Go change." Pein demanded.

"Okay! But you have to tell us why we have to be up at three in the morning first!" Yuki yelled.

"There are shinobi coming fast to attack the hideout, and we need to fight them off to make sure the hideout location is not revealed. Now go!" Pein demanded (again). Then the girls bowed and left.

On their way down the halls, the girls made three other Akatsuki faint (Hidan , Itachi, Kisame) and Deidara have a nosebleed. He didn't take it as badly because he had seen Tsuki numerous times when they shared a room. Tobi was just oblivious to why the male Akatsuki were acting this way because his innocent little mind did not comprehend such a concept.

Once changed, The girls headed to the outside of the hideout. The rest of Akatsuki were already fighting. The battle was over quickly. Zetzu then ate the remains of some, Kakuzu took the hearts of others, and Tsuki fed some to the Wolves that appeared during the battle.

"Why are you feeding the wolves Tsuki? They are just wolves." Pein asked.

"Two reasons. One, they get rid of the remains. Two, the wolves work for my sister. They usually take care of most deaths. I like to keep on their good side." Tsuki explained. "It would be difficult to keep track of every death by herself, so she has the wolves do it for her."

"Okay. You may all go back to bed if you wish. Tsuki and Yuki. Tomorrow you will have a mission." Pein said before he went back to his office.

"Cool! Our first mission!"Yuki cheered as she played with one of the younger wolves. "It is only three hours until sunrise, so it wouldn't be much use to sleep now. I'll just hang out until it is time for breakfast." Yuki had become like the cook for the Akatsuki. She always made delicious meals and often made very different things.

"If you're going to be gone, who will cook for us?" Hidan asked.

"You will just have to live without us for a while." Tsuki said as she continued to feed the wolves.

"I promise when we come back, I'll make crapes'! They are great with some sort of fruit and whipped cream." Yuki began to daydream about wonderful breakfast items.

"Okay." Hidan was a little disappointed that his little chef friend would be gone.

The next day, Pein called the girls to his office. "Okay. I am well aware of your abilities, so I swill send you on a mission that would usually be trusted to more experienced members. You will travel to Konoha and befriend the Kyuubi vessel. You will be given one year. The hidden leaf does not know that you are part of Akatsuki, but you will still go disguised. Tsuki, you will transform Yuki and yourself so that nobody will suspect or be able to see through your disguise. Yuki, you will be used if backup for Tsuki is needed or an attack is set on Konoha, you will protect the village in attempt in gaining their trust. Also, before you come back, I would like you two to retrieve some scrolls that hold important information that we could use to our advantage." Pein said. "If you succeed in this mission, you will become Akatsuki members." Pein finished. "You have one week to prepare. You are dismissed."

"Hai, Leader-sama."The girls said in unison before they bowed and left to get ready.

The rest of Akatsuki were watching TV in the living room. "Hey guys, I have some bad news, since Tsuki and I are leaving for a one year mission, we will not be here for a year to cook for you." As soon as Yuki said this, Hidan looked mournful.

"No! For a whole year? What kind of first mission is that? It's not fair." Hidan was over dramatic about the whole thing. What did they eat before they had arrived anyway? Was it all that bad? It wouldn't matter anyway because they were leaving and that was final.

"Don't worry, we have a week until we have to leave anyways." Tsuki tried to soothe Hidan while everyone else just watched.

"Well, we have to start getting ready. Deidara-Danna? I have a favor to ask of you." Yuki said as she walked over to the entrance of the hallway where the bedrooms were located.

"Okay, un."Deidara said as he and Tsuki began to leave the room.

Once the trio arrived at Yuki's room, Yuki opened the door to reveal a place that appeared to be hell. "This is hell, I live here. Deidara-Danna, I want you to come here once a week on Wens days at noon with a canister filled with Pringles. I'm sure you will like this task because it is for my subordinate and your former teammate, Sasori. Don't give him any more or any less, because he will go crazy. He seems to have an obsession with Pringles." Yuki grinned as she pulled out a can of Pringles since it happened to be Wens day at noon. Deidara's expression lightened. "Sasori!" Yuki called.

"Hiya Yuki!" Sasori greeted happily as he walked over. He saw Deidara. "Hiya Deidara! I didn't know you got killed off too. How did you die?" Sasori asked.

"Sasori, Deidara-Danna did not die, I just asked him to come here to check up on you once in a while. I am going to be away with Tsuki on a one year mission so I won't be able to come here as often anymore." Yuki explained. "Here you go Sasori-kun!" Over time, Yuki and Tsuki had become friends with Sasori, and Yuki had made him the head of torture. He liked his job.

"Hey Yuki? If Sasori is a puppet, why does he eat, un?" Deidara asked.

"Well, since it is always so hot, and there are flames everywhere, his body might have caught on fire, so I just gave him his original body, but it does not age anymore. By the way, you have to bring him a sandwich on the days you don't give him Pringles." Yuki said. "And it has to be either a ham and cheese or turkey and onion unless he asks otherwise." Yuki said as an afterthought.

Then, Tsuki thought of something. "Hey Dave!" Tsuki called.

"Yes?" Dave responded.

"Oh no! Not you, un!" Deidara was afraid that Dave would decide to do that 'Know your Akatsuki' thing that he did with leader.

"Don't worry Deidara-Danna, he won't do that to you. I want to ask you something, Dave. Would you do that 'Know your Akatsuki' to anybody that comes into here and not let them out until Yuki or me come. This does not include Deidara-Danna or Tobi-Danna." Tsuki requested.

"Sure! It is so fun to mess with them!" Dave gleefully accepted.

"Alright! Now we just have to pack. Thanks Dave! Thanks to you too Deidara-Danna!" Yuki said.

A week later, the Akatsuki said goodbye to the girls and thy were off to Konoha. Before they left, Tobi had asked them. "Why is it that you can't transform yourselves so that you don't look like wolf people all the time?" Tobi had actually come up with a good question.

"It causes too much stress on my body to do that because it is very difficult to transform gods and goddesses. Besides, we are more powerful in our original forms." Tsuki had told him. Now the girls did not have ears and tails, and they had blue eyes and dark brown hair. Those were the only big differences, though.

Two days later, the girls arrived at the gates of Konoha. Tsuki had altered their headbands so they did not have the scratch across the leaf. They had entered the gated and headed to the Hokage office. "I can't believe it has been almost eight years since we have been here." Yuki said as they walked along the paths as she did those many years ago.

"Yeah." They reached the Hokage office and knocked on the main office where the Hokage worked. "Dave once told me they also got a new Hokage after the fourth, and after that one was defeated, they got a sannin to be Hokage. I think it was Tsunade." Tsuki said.

"Come in." an angry voice called them in.

"Hello, Hokage-sama." The girls bowed as they greeted in unison as usual.

"Who are you? I have never seen you around, and seeing as you are leaf ninja, I should know who you are." Tsnade said. She had stopped her search for her sake that Shizune had hidden from her to get a good look at the girls. Tsunade tucked a few strands of her blond hair behind her ear.

"We are ninja that have been gone for eight years, but now we have returned to our village. Please, would you accept us back into the village. We know there is currently a shortage of ninja, and would like to help our village." Tsuki lied as she continued to bow. Over the years, she had perfected the art of illusion from being hidden from all civilization. The hidden villages had assumed their death because they were not spotted anywhere in the last seven years.

"Okay, but you will be watched closely, and will be severely punished for anything that threatens the village. You will also have to give me all information that you have about yourselves and your past eight years of being outside the village." Tsunade stated. "Also, you will be tested for a rank in the next week. Come tomorrow for interrogation and we will set you up with a apartment for free until you can make money for yourselves." Tsunade finished. "Shizune!" Tsunade called.

A woman in a black dress walked into the office. "Yes, Tsunade-sama." She said.

"Get these girls an apartment and set up an interrogation room for tomorrow. Also, get me some sake!" Tsunade demanded (great, more demanding -- ).

"Hai Tsunade-sama, but no sake until you have the rest of that paperwork done!" Shizune then exited the room. After a few minutes, she re-entered the room. "You girls will have apartment 15 in building 8." Shizune said as she handed the girls directions to their building.

"Hai. Thank you, Shizune-sama." Tsuki said as she smiled warmly.

"You may be dismissed." Tsunade said. The girls bowed again and left the building. By now, it was dark out. The girls found their apartment and went to sleep after changing and showering.The next day would be full of boring interrogation. -has fake enthusiasm- Great.

&&&&&&

I hope you liked this one more than the other chapters, and f not, too bad. I will try to make it better, but in order to do that, you have to tell me how by reviewing and telling me what you think, but please don't be too brutal. So, REVIEW! If you do, I will have my sister put that weird prize guy in my fiction to give out 'fabulous' prizes! ) Byez!


	8. When they come to town

Yayz! New chapter!Obviously, you people don't like me 'cause you don't review. T-T Ur mean. Anywasys, if you didn't get the thing with my sister, happy emo puppies, prize guy, this is what ur missing until you review.(HappyEmoPuppies on air in my big-ass house in my oh-so-lavender room)

crying in the corner h-how m-m-me-mean!!! that's it, no more nachos for you Mr.I-WON'T-REVIEW-BECAUSE-I-HATE-THE-HAPPYEMOPUPPIES!! grumbles in the corner.

'Lil miss lazy- O...kay, moving on. Don't own Naruto or pringles, why? Because I choose not to.

Happy emo puppies- No, it's because ur too smug to admit that you didn't come up with it first. --

'Lil miss lazy- SHUT UP! emo in the corner

Itachi- UR STEALING MY EMONESS!

'Lil miss lazy- F OFF 'TACHI!! keeps being emo in the corner

Itachi- ... meanie...

On with the story!

&&&&&&

The girls awoke to the sun pouring through the windows. Birds sang happily in the brisk morning air, and a soft breeze graced their faces.

This was the kind of mornings Yuki despised to no extent

.In her opinion, the sun was too bright for her over-sensitive eyes, the breeze was plain annoying, and although her hearing had been reduced slightly from being partially morphed, it was still quite sensitive, so the birds were altogether too loud.

Yuki had walked into the kitchen after a quick shower and was now in her normal attire.

"Ugh. I hate sunny days." Yuki complained.

""Well, I can say they can be too sunny, but I like how warm it can be. If you want, I could change it." Tsuki offered as she grabbed her jacket.

"No, I don't think it would really be worth it since we have to be interrogated all day. Let's just get breakfast before we head off to see the Hokage." Yuki got up to grab her headband while Tsuki put her long hair up in pigtails. "You know, I wonder why you would grow you hair out Tsuki. It can just get in the way and is hard to manage anyway." Yuki reasoned. Yuki had always insisted on having short hair while her sister grew her hair out to her lower back.

"I like it that way. Besides, it is not hard when you can control shape and form." Tsuki answered as she begins to walk behind her sister out the door of the apartment. Soon the girls were in the shopping district, and looking for a stand to get some food.

Tsuki spotted a ramen stand. "Oh! Yuki, can we eat at that ramen stand?! It has been soo long since I have had ramen! Please?" Tsuki begged. She had an unhealthy obsession of eating ramen. It used to be that every day after training, she would eat at least one bowl of ramen.

"Sure Tsuki. Just be quick, I'll go find a pocky stand." Yuki said as she walked off.

"Yayz!" Tsuki squealed as she took a seat at the stand. Then an old looking guy came out from the back, and spotted our little ramen-obsessed girl.

"What can I get for you?" The man asked.

"I would like some chicken ramen please!" Tsuki patiently waited as the man cooked her order. Then, a teen in orange and black walked into the shop. He had blond, unruly hair and dazzling cerulean eyes. "Hi!" Tsuki greeted as the teen took a seat beside her.

He looked over to her. "Hi! Have I met you before?" he asked.

"No" Tsuki answered. "I'm Rosanjin Tsukiko. You can call me Tsuki though. I just got into town yesterday. Nice to meet you." Tsuki then peeked over to the old man who was just finishing making her ramen.

"Really? Well I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I got back from three years of training a few months ago. But technically I'm still genin, so I am going to see Tsunade-baachan this afternoon." Naruto said before the old man came over to the counter with Tsuki's order.

"Here you go. Hey Naruto, what can I get you?" The old man sked.

"I'll have the pork ramen." Naruto said eagerly. The old man went back into the back. Naruto looked over to Tsuki who had started eating like there was no tommorow. "Wow, I don't think I have ever seen anyone eat ramen that fast." Naruto commented as Tsuki finished.

"Sorry, I just really like ramen." Tsuki said. Tsuki then heard Yuki calling for her. "I gotta go, my sister is calling me. See you around!" Tsuki called as she rushed off.

The old man from before brought Naruto his ramen. He also happened to hear their conversation. "you know Naruto, she eats ramen fast, but not as fast as you eat it." He stated.

Of course Naruto was too busy eating to pay attention to what the man was saying. "Huh?"

"Figures." The old man walked back out of the room.

&&&&&&

Tsuki had rushed off to find her sister. Once they got regrouped, they walked toward the Hokage tower.

"Hey Yuki, I met our target today at the ramen stand." Tsuki informed her sister.

"Really? Maybe we can even get back to base earlier than we thought." Yuki said. "I would like to see leader's face if we succeeded at what the top members couldn't, and under our time limit too." Yuki smirked.

Okay, but we shouldn't be talking about that, we are within the village and someone could hear and tell Hokage-sama." Tsuki warned.

"Yeah, we're almost there anyway."Yuki said. Soon the girls were in front of the Hokage tower. They entered after getting past the Anbu. Tsuki knocked and was called in by Tsunade.

"Okay girls, follow me." Tsunade then walked out into the halls, three Anbu followed after the girls. After a while, they made it to an interrogation room. "Take a seat." Tunade ordered. The girls immediately followed orders.

"First off, tell me your names." Tsunade commanded.

"I am Rosanjin Yuki." Yuki said.

"I am Rosanjin Tsuki." Tsuki said.

"Tell me any information that I would need to know. Ninja rank, age, date of birth, why you left,etc."

Yuki went first. "Ninja rank, gennin. Age, 17. Date of birth, July 1st. I left with my sister because they were going to experiment on us. They were going to use us and then when we could no longer serve porpouse, they would try to kill us. We couldn't live like that. So we ran away."

Tsuki was next. "Ninja rank, genin. Age 17. Date of birth, July 2nd. I left with my sister."

"If you have not been in Konoha for eight years, where have you been and what have you been doing?"

" We have traveled throughout the five nations, and perfected most of our jutsu in lack of other things to do. We also would keep disguised so nobody would know who we really are. We have also been wanted by Akatsuki for our abilities." Yuki said.

"Also, we have been in hiding. Many people have been after us for we have heavy bounties for our capture. The villages have only looked for us for a few months before assuming our death. We have not been spotted since except by Akatsuki, but we have fought them off." Tsuki lied. Well, she was the master of illusion, so nobody caught it.

"Alright. Now, what might these powers of yours be?" Tsunade asked. Now she was curious. What would the Akatsuki want with missing genin?

"Yuki is the godess of death, and I can control shape and form." Tsuki answered calmly. "That is also why they wanted to experiment on us. We are nearly impossible to catch and would make any country or organization nearly unstoppable, but we do not take advantage of our power much."

Tsunade was shocked to say the least. She had no idea two genin had such power. "Prove it." Tsunade demanded.

"you know, the last time someone asked that, they ened up in hell, but then I brought him back because he was a comrade. So, you sure?"

Tsunade thought the girl was just messing with her. She smirked, "Positive." Then, Tsunade fell over and dropped to the floor, dead.

"Hokage-sama!" Anbu rushed to the dead Hokage. "Bring her back!" Then, Tsunade awoke gasping for breathe.

"It was like hell!" Tsunade screamed.

"That was what the last guy said." Yuki smirked.

"Okay, what about you?" Tsunade asked, still unsure of what the girl might do.

"Alright. I want you to try your hardest to dispel this because it is not genjutsu." Tsuki grinned as she revealed the forms of her sister and herself. Her tail wagged behind her happily. "We usually change our forms so that nobody recognizes us. It saves us time that we can go about without anyone trying to capture us." Tsuki reasoned. "Besides, how weird is it to be a wolf person? Everyone would just make fun of us, had they not known our power." She finished.

"Okay, one more thing to ask you, why are you telling me this? You could have just killed me and taken over the village." Tsunade was unsure that the girls would answer this.

"Well, one, we are tired of constant travel. Two, we think it would be okay for us here after eight years of wandering. Three, we don't need power of your village, we already have our own." Yuki listed. "There are also other reasons, but we would rather not go to far into it because we don't want to be here all day." Yuki said as she sat back in her chair. "We only killed our clan because they were sick, crazy bastrds. Using small children as tools of destruction, then planning to dispose of them. Pathetic. Itachi had no right though, he just killed off his clan to see how powerful he was. He is more worthy of death, but I can't kill him."

"Why not?" Tsunade asked.

"He is no threat to me or anybody I care about. He dare not attack the village, so he is not going to die without reason." Yuki explained. "That would be madness to kill whomever I wanted." Yuki said thoughtfully.

"Right. Yu may go. By the way, the chuunin exam is coming up. If you want, you can be teamed with Uzumaki Naruto since he has no team. I am sure you girls would pass with flying colors." Tsunade suggested.

"We're in." The girls said in unison.

"Alright, I'm sure he will be happy to know he has a team." Tsunade said. "You may be dismissed."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." and with that, the girls vanished.

And now with the new craze! Tsunade only had one word on her mind, "Creepy,..."

&&&&&&

Yayz! I am finished! I know it is kinda weird and doesn't make sense that the girls revealed their identity to the Hokage, but they really have nothing to hide and if anything goes wrong, the village gets killed while Naruto is turned into a duck and forcefully taken to Akatsuki to get the Kyuubi extracted. So if you don't like it, TOO BAD!! Plz review! I can't fix the story until i know what needs to be fixed, and I make the story better and longer with reviews 'cause I know I am appreciated. It's sad too, 175 hits and 9 reviews. I feel unloved T-T. Byez!


	9. Mission complete

Yayz! I still don't have any more than nine reviews. You people make me sad. T-T I don't own Naruto or pringles or anything else that is not mine. Hope you guys like it!

Itachi- They won't like it because it lacks my character.

'Lil miss lazy- Well, I never liked you all that much anywayz. Oh, and don't make me kill you off to make room for the girls in Akatsuki.

Itachi- Dooooon't! You couldn't!

'Lil miss lazy- Well, I won't if you leave me alone, but don't push your luck. I can do whatever I want to you. I could even have Tsuki turn you into a woman! And you would be sooooo pretty!

Itachi- No! Doooon't! I like being a guy! It would suck if I was a girl! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A GIRL!! /\ 

HappyEmoPuppies- Yes you do! You always go around singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty..." and wear sparkle dresses and halters and short shorts! Here I have a picture! (gives lil miss lazy a picture of

Itachi at a fashion show as one of the models)

Itachi- WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?! THAT WAS FOR FUNDRAISING PURPOUSES!

HappyEmoPuppies- what was the cause?

Itachi- grumbles

HappyEmoPuppies- what?

Itachi- BREAST CANCER! FUCKIN' GOSH!

HappyEmoPuppies- NO SWEARING!! ITS NOT NICE!!

'Lil miss lazy- Breast...Cancer?

Itachi- I'm leaving. leaves

Girls- good riddance.

On with the story!

&&&&&&

The girls got back to their apartment. After a quick lunch, the girls decided to walk around. They walked around for a while before Yuki stopped all of a sudden. "Tsuki! There is a strong chakara coming for us fast! I believe it might be Orochimaru. We must tell Hokage-sama!" Tsuki nodded quickly before disappearing and reappearing in front of the Hokage tower.

"Hokage-sama! An attack is being set on Konoha! We believe it is Orochimaru who is coming." Tsuki explained franticly.

Tsunade immediately understood and sent for the village to be vacated while ninja prepared for the invasion. "Quickly! Alert all ninja and get all civilians out of the area!" Tsunade ordered.

"Tsunade. Put us on the first line of attack, we will make sure to exterminate the scum known as Orochimaru." Yuki said as she waked up to Tsunade, a fiery determination in her eyes.

"No. We need to keep as many ninja alive, and that means that you will be strategically placed." Tsunade stated.

"Hokage-sama, this is the best strategy you can get. I am the goddess of death. I promise to kill that bastard before he can even come near any other of our ninja. Even if you protest, I will head up there anyway." Yuki boldly jumped out the room out to battle, Tsuki close behind.

Just as Yuki went passed the village gates, she immediately spotted Orochimaru. "Go any further, and this will be your last day to live." Yuki spat as she slowly walked to where Orochimaru was standing, but he seemed unfased.

"Sorry little girl, but you alone cannot defeat me." Orochimaru spoke as he looked over her body. "You would make a fine container though, why don't you come with me?" Orochimaru said seductively while his tounge slithered out of his mouth.

"Never. You are soooo dead." and that was the last thing the snake demon heard before falling over dead. "The rest of you, the same fate will befall you if you dare try to harm this village. Sasuke." Yuki called as she walked toward the teen. "Unless you want to die, you will come with me." Yuki more demanded than giving a choice.

"How did you kill him without even touching him?" Sasuke would have looked shocked, had he been anybody else, but he was too well trained to show emotion of any sort.

"I am the bringer of death, now, come before a withdraw my offer." Yuki looked at him expectantly and coldly.

Then, Tsuki appeared. She turned into Sasuke. "Oooh! I'm Sasu-gay! I like to have threesomes with Orochimaru and my brother Weasel-san while daydreaming about being a smexy woman!" Tsuki then turned into a female form of Sasuke with big breasts. "I don't really want to kill my Aniki, I just want to have butt sex with him!" Tsuki then Turned into Itachi and began to whisper sweet nothings into Sasuke's ear just to freak him out.

"Ahhhhhh! Stop the torture!" Sasuke curled up into a ball, nobody has ever said that about him. (or at least to his face) It was just as bad to have them mimic his brother and try to seduce him.

"Come and I will stop. Don't come and I will continue for three days before my sister kills you off." Tsuki purred into Sasuke's ear, still transformed as Itachi.

Sasuke then uncurled and got up. "Alright, but only because I have not achieved my goals yet." Sasuke followed a bit hesitantly.

When the three got to the village, Naruto jumped at the sight of Sasuke. "Oh my god! How did you get him to come back?! I have been trying for years! I'm jealous." Naruto pouted.

"I killed off Orochi-bastard while Tsuki persuaded Sasuke to come back." Yuki grinned Evilly as she walked toward the Hokage tower, Tsuki and Sasuke in tow.

"Hokage-sama, Orochimaru is dead and we have retrieved Sasuke." Tsuki announced while bowing.

Tsunade was astounded. These two girls had successfully defeated the unbeatable in a matter of five minutes. "That is the most amazing thing I think any ninja has ever done. Killing the most wanted and unbeatable in a few minutes. " Tsunade gaped, but then regained composure. "When I retire, you will probably be the first on the list to receive the title Hokage." Tsunade stated.

"We don't WANT to be Hokage!" The girls yelled. They would never get back to base. Then Naruto walked in fuming.

"You said I would be the next Hokage!" He yelled. "You are the person I trusted most! How could you betray me?!" By now, Naruto was on the brink of tears. "I'm running away! This village only takes what I give and say it is not good enough for them! I will stand for this no longer!" Naruto then pulled out a kunai and slashed his headband.

"I'm gone, and don't bother to find me." Naruto then left swiftly.

"Well, it looks like we have completed our mission." Yuki said as Tsuki transformed their headbands to their original forms. "We must get back to base after we catch Naruto. The Kyuubi is almost ours!" She yelled, the girls followed Naruto and left a baffled Tsunade.

"It was all just a trick." Tsunade mentally scolded herself for accepting missing nin back into the village. "I should have seen this coming."

&&&&&&

The girls soon caught up to Naruto. "Hey Naruto." Tsuki greeted softly. "I know how hard it is to be used, we were just like you. Young and afraid, we ran away so we did not have to endure the torture of being used and then just disposed of. You can come with us if you like." Tsuki offered kindly.

Naruto just nodded and followed the girls out of the forest onto a dirt path, unknown to him, the path to his demise.

&&&&&&

The girls traveled with Naruto for three months before heading back to Akatsuki. "Naruto, after tonight, we will be traveling in a new direction." Yuki told Naruto as they ate dinner around a bright fire. "It will take about three hours to reach our destination, so just keep following us until we slow down." Yuki commanded.

"Alright. Why all serious all of a sudden?" Naruto asked.

"Well, I just want to make it clear that this is very important." Yuki reasoned.

"Oh." Naruto went back to eating.

'Soon' Yuki thought.

The next morning, none of the three had said a word, and the base had been hidden with a highly skilled jutsu sot hat Naruto could not see the base. "Naruto, you wait with Tsuki while I go do something." Yuki said before walking off.

Yuki then entered the base and actually surmised the Akatsuki, well, the only one there was Pein. "Hi1 we have Naruto waiting outside base. Where is the rest of Akatsuki?" Yuki asked.

"Over the time you were gone, they decided to go into your room, but I'll tell you later. Just go get them." Pein said before leaving to get the ritual for extracting the Kyuubi prepared.

Yuki smirked as she opened her door. "Leave them alone Dave! I'm back!" Yuki greeted. "Come on. I have have our target outside. I can't be gone too long either. Yuki explained as she exited the room with the rest following close behind.

Soon, Yuki and the rest of Akatsuki had Naruto surrounded. Tsuki then made a Strong case around Naruto that he could not escape. Then he passed out because the air inside had been drugged. "Grab the kid and let's get on with the ritual." Tsuki ordered. Tobi being a good boy, grabbed the case with Naruto inside and walked toward the base.

The ritual lasted for the rest of the day, and took all of the Akatsuki. Afterwards, they were all exhausted. "You are both very capable young adults. All of you can have two weeks vacation for having caught the most powerful of the demons. There is a flood coming anyway and will be impossible for travel anyway. You are dismissed." Pein said before leaving.

The Akatsuki brightened, it had been a long time since their last break. "Alright! Tomorrow, I want to play truth or dare, and everyone's going to be there or else." Yuki threatened. Tsuki just nodded ad began to walk out of the room. "It will be in Tsuki's room since my room is in hell." After that, everyone left for bed.

Today, nobody was left with the word in their mind, the word being, "Creepy..."

&&&&&&

Yayz! The next chapter will bring up the rating. And have you noticed that I have ended the last few chapters with the word "Creepy". That is weird. Anyways, I hope you liked it! and also, REVIEW!!! If you don't, I will make the chapter updates further and further apart.

HappyEmoPuppies- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! YOU PEOPLE! YOU MUST REVIEW! MY SISTER IS BEING SERIOUS! REVIEW! T-T


	10. Truth or dare

Hiya my peoplez! lol I always say that when I enter a room. Anywho, I don't own Naruto or anything that might appear in the fic that isn't mine. So deal with it. Anyways, The one person who bothered to review, I won't keep you in suspense. In fact, you get a fan that doesn't work 'cause I shoved waffles into it one day! Enjoy your fan that flings waffles everywhere! Anyways, This is an interesting chappie that has a lemon in it. It is my first one so don't find out where I live just to storm into my house just to tell me how awful it is. If you are uncomfortable with this, just skip over Yuki's dare.

Yuki- WHAT?!? YOUR GOING TO MAKE ME DO THAT?!?

'Lil miss lazy- It's my script, my story and your MY character. So just deal. The worst I could make it is that you could be with Hidan. So you will obey or this shall occur.

Yuki- I still want to know who though!

'Lil miss lazy- you will find out soon enough.

On with the fic!

&&&&&&

The day after the girls got back, Tsuki was preparing her room, she had decorated it to her liking. It was like being in space but it had a floor, gravity, and air. There were twinkling stars and orbiting planets, shooting stars to wish upon only if it can be caught by the eager hands of our young dreamer, Tsuki. She had always loved space and the sky, there just seemed to be no limits or boundries. I just seemed to go on forever while being calm and artistically balanced.

Tsuki also cherished art. She would always sketch and mold things when she had the chance, and later sold or gave away her art. Her favorite things to draw were little mythical creatures. Sometimes, she would bring her creations to life and set them free, but she would never keep them, or et them back to clay.

She decided to set up undetectable cameras to make sure people who had dares that were outside the room, they could make sure they did them without trying to get away.

Then, Kakuzu walked into the stary room, he gawked at the wide screen TV. "Where did you get that? Did it cost a lot? If it did, you are going to make up for the loss." Kakuzu said greedily.

"No, I made it out of scrap metal, I also set up video cameras all over the house to make sure everyone does their dare if it requires them to be outside the room." Tsuki said. It was actually a good I dea for the game they were going to play.

"Come over and watch a movie with me 'till the rest come. I'll share my popcorn!" Tsuki grinned.

'Sweet' Kakuzu thought as he walked over to where Tsuki was and got comfortable while watching the movie.

During said movie, all the members arrived, and just before Yuki came in, the movie ended and the group moved into a circle for the game.

"Hey guys!" Yuki cheerfuly greeted, pleased that everyone had arrived. "Okay, this game will be like Extreme truth or dare. You spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on will pick a dare or secret that they must tell. If they don't do or tell, they will be eliminated. Also, this is soda, if it bursts when they spin, they will lose their turn and be eliminated, just to make the game go a little faster. Also, you can dare anything to try and get the person to give up and be eliminated. Any questions?" Yuki asked after explaining the game.

Hidan raised his hand. "What is the prize?"

"It is a glorious prize to work for. You can only achive it through determination and luck. I will not tell you what the prize is until the game ends to keep you in suspense." Yuki smirked. "Well, Let's get this party started!" Yuki cheered as she took a place in the circle, Kisame to her left, and Tobi to her right.

Yuki began the game by putting the bottle into the middle of the circle. She spun the bottle and it landed on Deidara. Yuki smiled. "Deidara-_kun_, Truth or dare?" Yuki mockingly stretched out the kun when she asked him.

"Uhhhh, Dare?" Deidara was kinda nervous, but what fun would it be if you never took a chance in life?

Yuki grinned evilly. "I dare you to let everyone sighn your belly with this magic marker." Yuki said. (my sister came up with this one. -)

Deidara twitched. "What?! Wait, what is so special about that? Doesn't all marker eventually come off, un?" He just wanted to avoid this best he could. Yuki just looked at him. "Fine. Where do you come up with these Ideas anyway, un?" Deidara asked as he took off his shirt.

Half the Akatsuki were shocked. Until now, they had been arguing over weather Deidara was male or female. Kakuzu grinned. "I win the bet!" He cheered.

Deidara glared. "What bet, un?" He asked coldly.

"Uhhh, Hidan, Kisame and I made a bet on weather you were a guy or girl. But I won!" Kakuzu cheered.

Ohh they were going to pay for that bet, Deidara would make sue of it. "I'M A GUY! WHY DOES EVERYBODY THINK I'M A GIRL UN?!" Deidara fumed.

"Well, on with the game." Yuki giggles as she wrote on Deidara's skin. Soon, everyone had signed. Than, just as Deidara was putting on his shirt, an eerie voice appeared and read off the names of the people who signed.

Yuki

Tsuki

"What the hell is that, un?!" Deidara demanded.

Kakuzu

Kisame

Itachi

"Well, this is the magic part of the magic marker, whenever someone reads it, it is read aloud by a creepy voice from seemingly nowhere." Yuki explaied.

Hida- the voice disappeared as Deidara finally got the shirt back on.

"Your going to pay for this, un" Deidara said as he spun the bottle. It landed on Tobi. "Okay Tobi, truth or dare?" Deidara asked.

"Dare!" Tobi cheered as he jumped up and down.

"I dare you to reveal your face, un." Deidara said simply.

Tobi twitched. He did not want to, but what if the prize was waffles any time he pleased? "O-ok Deidara s-sempai." Tobi said, extremely nervous. He slowly removed his mask to reveal...(A/N Micahal Jackson!) To reveal the most innocent yet devilishly handsome face most of the members had ever seen. He had soft black eyes, and nearly perfect skin, only a scar to his left eye marred his face. It only made him look more handsome though,

"Damn..." Hidan broke the silence, but was hit on the head soon after.

"I said no swearing!" Yuki yelled. She then glomped Tobi. "Ohhh! Tobi-kuun! You look sooo cute and handsome and you are always so fun and you are like the best guy ever!" Yuki caused a scene.

This is exactly WHY Tobi wore a mask. He felt really uncomfortable with this kind of attention. "Uhhh, would Yuki-chan PLEASE let go of Tobi?" Tobi began to panic slightly.

Yuki's brain rebooted and she realized what she was doing. "Oh I'm sooo sorry Tobi-Dnna! I won't do it again!" Yuki bowed as she walked back over to her place in the circle.

Tobi spun the bottle only to have it explode. "Sorry Tobi, you're out." Yuki said. Tobi left the room to take a shower.

"Aww..." Tobi whined before he left.

"Well, since Tobi left, Dei gets to pick the next dare or question." They looked to see who the next person was, and it happened to point to Kakuzu.

"Truth or dare, un?" Deidara asked.

"Truth." Kakuzu stated.

"Alright, Tell the wolf girls what you think about them, un. It has to be COMPLEETELY honest." Deidara smiled sadistically as he watched Kakuzu squirm.

"Uhhhh..." Kakuzu paused. He noticed The girls looking at him, it made him sqirm more.

"I...I reallylikeyougirls'cauesyou'rebothsohot!" Kakuzu rushed out and preyed to god that they didn't hear them.

Apparently, God was out of service today.

"You think we're...hot?" Tsuki asked, slightly blushing. Kakuzu justed turned the brightest red they had ever seen.

"O...kay. Moving on." Kakuzu cooled down a bit before spinning. It landed on Hidan.

"Hidan, truth or dare?" Kakuzu asked.

"Dare." Hidan answered.

"I dare you to..." Kakuzu tried to come up with a good one. " I dare you to tell Kisame you think he is sexy." Hidan said.

Hidan felt a little of his immortal self crumble inside. "Uhhh...Kisame I think your...sexy?" Hidan said hesitantly. "There, I said it, but I don't mean it." Hidan quickly stated. He spun the bottle and it landed on Yuki.

"Alright! Truth or dare?" Hidan asked.

"Dare!" Yuki cheered.

Hidan thought as a smirk appeared on his face. "I dare you to go seduce Tobi." Hidan said evilly.

Yuki was shocked. "I'll get you for this." Yuki walked out of the room.

Hidan then screamed. "Put on the video!" He Immediately sat right in front of the big TV.

Yuki, having no idea she was being watched, walked into Tobi's room. Tobi had just gotten out of the shower a minute ago, so he was sitting on his bed, staring off into space. Tobi noticed Yuki as she walked in. "Hi Yuki-chan!" Tobi greeted warmly.

(A/N This is where the bad part begins. Young ones...SHIELD YOUR EYES!)

Yuki just waled over to Tobi's bed and gently pushed him down. "Uhhh, whatcha doin'?" Tobi asked. No reply. Yuki just stared at Tobi's still unmasked face. Yuki then began to unbotton Tobi's Akatsuki cloak.

Tobi realized this and began to panic. "Whatcha doin'?!" Tobi asked a little louder this time. Soon, the cloak was just a pile on the floor. Yuki then began on Tobi's shirt.

"WHATCHA DOIN'?" Tobi yelled more than asked, but still didn't move. His eyes showed how scared and nervous he was.

After Yuki had gotten rid of Tobi's shirt, she tugged her own off and threw it carelessly to the floor. Tobi just stared at her full and very mature body. He was too shocked to move. Then, Yuki unclasped her bra and slowly dropped it to the floor.

Tobi snapped.

As soon as the cloth hit the floor, Tobi grabbed Yuki by the shoulders and pushed her to the bed. Just after Yuki hit the bed, Tobi kissed her softly yet with great passion. Yuki melted at his touch, she responded to the kiss with just as much passion.

Tobi ran his tongue along Yuki's bottom lip. Yuki let him slip inside her mouth and moaned as she felt his wet muscle explore her entire mouth, and massage her own tongue. Tobi parted from the kiss and trailed kisses down Yuki's jaw to the base of her neck. Tobi began to suck gently at Yuki's soft skin until a mark was clearly visible. By now, Tobi was running on pure instinct and all his common sense was shut off.

Back in the room, everyone was either having a nosebleed or disgusted. Disgusted being Tsuki and Deidara. Tsuki did not like to watch these type of things, especially since Yuki was in it, and Deidara was not enjoying that his naive and silly partner had actually known how to have sex.

Then Deidara decided to voice his thought. "Since when does Tobi know how to have sex?!" He yelled. Everyone turned to see Hidan looking slightly guilty.

"Uhhh, when you left Tobi with me to go do a solo mission, Tobi was left with me and I showed him some of my porn." Hidan said as he tried to shrink away from all the strange and disturbed looks he got from the other members. "What?! I thought he would like it."

"Tobi doesn't understand what that IS! His mind is too innocent for that kind of stuff!" Tsuki screamed. Hidan directed his attention back to the screen as Pein walked in to see what all the commotion was about, but when he saw the screen, he slowly backed away.

Then, in Tobi's room, Tobi had gotten rid of their pants and the only thing either of them were wearing was underwear, and soon enough that was gone too. Tobi stared at Yuki for a moment before trailing his tongue down Yuki's neck to her chest, and took one of the breasts into his moth while his hand worked on the other. Tobi sucked and this made Yuki moan in pleasure. He switched after a while and then began to trail down Yuki's stomach to her legs. Tobi then looked up to Yuki, she nodded. "Tobi, just be gentle. I'm a virgin."

Tobi nodded back with those soft and caring eyes. He then began to lick at her entrance and Yuki felt herself becoming wet. Tobi then dove his tongue into her wet entrance, going deep while moving his tongue around to try to find a good spot. After a while, Tobi hit it while Yuki deeply moaned "Tobi!"

Tobi tried to hit the spot again and got the same reaction. Then, he exited her, and spread Yuki's legs a bit more. Tobi then positioned himself at her entrance, and slowly entered her.

Yuki blushed as she felt Tobi inside her, but soon she felt pain pulse up her spine and through her body. Tobi kissed her to muffle the scream and whispered reassurance to her that it would feel great after a while.

When the pain subsided, Yuki moved slightly and Tobi began to move out before thrusting back in. Yuki felt pleasure overcome her senses. "Tobi! F-faster!" She pleaded. Tobi complied and Yuki could feel the tension build up in her as her muscles clenched. She was on the edge, but when Tobi hit deep into her, she lost it. "TOBI!" Yuki screamed as she climaxed.

Tobi felt Yuki climax under him, and was now coming onto his own climax. Tobi went faster and slammed harder into Yuki. Going as deep as he could get. Tobi then felt himself climax as Yuki's muscles clench around him even tighter. He moaned as he released into Yuki. Panting slightly, Tobi started to bring the pace back up. They both climaxed again as they screamed each other's name.

Tobi then collapsed next to Yuki, and held her close to his chest. He loved the feel of being inside of Yuki, while she loved the feel of being full of him. That night, they fell asleep in a warm embrace.

Back in the room, Kisame had passed out on the floor, and Itahi, being too cool to pass out on the floor, went up to his room and passed out on his bed. Deidara was gaping in horror while Tsuki clung to him as if her life depended on it. They both screamed as if they had just seen the most horrible thing in the universe happen a hundred times over, which maybe for them, it was.

The remaining Akatsuki, or rather, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Zetzu looked at the horrified pair. "**You guys are overreacting.**" Zetzu's dark side mocked.

Tsuki looked at Zetzu before yelling, "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO WATCH YOUR SISTER AND TEAMMATE HAVE SEX?!" Tsuki fumed.

"One, I don't have a sister." Zetzu's white side said. "**And two, I would just enjoy the show**." His dark side finished. Tsuki looked disgusted, and Zetzu smirked before walking away. Kakuzu and Hidan soon followed out the room before going to their own rooms.

"Hey Deidara-Dnna?" Tsuki asked as she turned off the TV.

"Yeah?" He was now standing at the door, just about ready to leave.

"Can I stay with you tonight? I feel uncomfortable staying alone in the room I watched them do THAT in." Tsuki pleaded. It was true too, she was terribly horrified by the mere thought of her sister and her dear friend doing that and then just watching.

Tsuki looked completely desperate. Her ears were folded back to her head pitifully and her tail was quivering between her legs. Even her hair was messed up a little. It was almost impossible for Deidara to refuse. He also did not want to be alone after watching that. "Okay, un. I'd rather have someone else with me anyway. That will probably haunt both of us for a while." Deidara said as he walked down the halls to his room as Tsuki followed like a lost puppy.

When they reached Deidara's room, Tsuki found an extra blanket and began to lay it on the floor. "You can sleep on the bed with me if you want, un." Deidara offored, he knew she must have been uncomfortable enough, she really appriciated the offer too and walked over to the bed.

"You sure? I mean, It's okay, you don't have to." Deidara nodded. "O-okay, thanks. I really would like to get a good sleep." Tsuki said as she crawled into the bed beside Deidara, She blushed at their closeness. "Good night, Deidara-Danna." Tsuki took up as little space as she could, but then she felt Deidara's arms wrap around her waist, and she relaxed and let herself get comfortable in his arms.

"Good night, Tsuki-chan." Deidara whispered before drifting off to sleep. Tsuki then felt her own body give into the warmth as she too, fell into blissful sleep.

&&&&&&

I don't know, but i think that it was a little disturbing myself that I actually wrote that. Plz don't yell at me for a waste of your time. I really don't like to be yelled at. T-T

Tsuki- glares

'Lil miss lazy-WAHT?!

Tsuki- LOOK!

Tobi and Yuki are snuggling backstage.

'Lil miss lazy- Stop it!

They stop snuggling and start making out

'Lil miss lazy- That too!

They glare and continue with their make out session.

'Lil miss lazy- I'm outta here! 'Come on Tsuki!

Tsuki- coming!

'Lil miss lazy- Byez,oh! And Review! I appreciate it!


	11. Filler

Yayz! New chapter! Hopefully this one will be better than the other ones. This one will probably be good because my sister and I were coming up with ideas all weekend. Well, I hope you like it!

Itachi- They won't like it.

'Lil miss lazy- go die in a hole.

Itachi- NO!

'Lil miss lazy- THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!

Itachi- MAKE ME!

HappyEmoPuppies- do you want me to put a bucket of noodles down your underwear?

Itachi- Ha! I don't even wear underwear.

'Lil miss lazy&HappyEmoPuppies- OO

O..k...

Enjoy the fic!

&&&&&&

The next day, Yuki awoke but didn't open her eyes. She felt warm and secure, so she snuggled in closer to the source of the warmth. She felt a cool breath on her face. Wait...

Yuki immediately opened her eyes to reveal a maskless Tobi. Both of them naked. In the same bed. She mentally screamed at herself and pried her way out of his arms. She got dressed just as Tobi woke.

"What happened?" He asked. He saw Yuki and it all came rushing back to him. "OMG! Tobi is sooooo sorry! Would Yuki please forgive Tobi? PLEASE?!" Tobi begged after he got dressed at practically light speed.

"I will forgive you Tobi, it was my fault anyway. I came in here and started the whole mess." Yuki said.

"It's okay. We can just pretend it just never happened." Tobi said as he walked over to Yuki.

"Yeah." Yuki said as she hugged Tobi. "Tobi is a good boy." '_but I wouldn't mind doing that again_.' Yuki thought. They reluctantly let go of each other after a minute.

"Okay, now let's wake up Deidara sempai and Tsuki. Deidara sempai's room is closer so let's get him first." They then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened.

Once at Deidara's room, they opened the door to find Tsuki snuggled up with Deidara on the bed. "Aww. They're so cute." Yuki cooed. This woke Deidara because Tsuki was a heavy sleeper.

"Huh?" Deidara then noticed Tsuki and nearly jumped. He tried to get up without Tsuki noticing, but they were pretty nicely tangled together. He finally gave up. "Tsuki! Wake up, un!" Deidara called as he tried to get his arm from under her, it had gone numb and he didn't really like the feeling.

Tsuki just snuggled closer into her human pillow. "But the bed is so warm, and out there is so cold." She mumbled.

"Fine, un. Have it your way." Deidara then sat up, and Tsuki grabbed a hold of him, not liking the sudden movement.

"Ahh! What the heck?! I was sleeping!" Tsuki complained.

"Well, you can't sleep on Deidara forever." Yuki commented. Tsuki then snapped to reality.

"Huh? Wait..." Tsuki paused. "I'm sooooo sorry! I didn't know I was sleeping on you! I won't do it again Deidara-Danna! Please forgive me!" Tsuki begged while bowing all the way on the floor on her knees.

"Uhhh, okay. Let's just get some breakfast, un." Deidadra said after pulling on his cloak.

"Okay!" Tsuki waled to her room to get dressed as the rest of the group left to the kitchen.

Yuki made some buttermilk pancakes, and pulled out a can of whipped cream, and some fruit. She also put some syrup on the table along with some butter. She figued that some people would rather have the fruit than just syrup and butter which was too common for her.

Just as Yuki had served the pancakes, Tsuki walked into the room."Woot! I love pancakes!" Tsuki said before shoveling the breakfast items into her mouth. Pancakes were probably her favorite food.

"Slow down Tsuki." Yuki said as she calmly ate her pancakes.

"But these are so good! They deserve to be appreciated!" Tsuki said after finishing her plate. "Well, I'm going to the living room. Thanks for the pancakes!" Tsuki said as she happily skipped into the next room.

"How does she eat like that and still stay thin, un?" Deidara asked.

"It's a thing with us. We just have high metabolism." Yuki explained as she finished her breakfast and put her dishes in the sink. "I'm going to find Itachi. I need to talk to him." Yuki said as she left the room.

Tobi and Deidara finished and went into the living room to find Tsuki with a notepad. Tsuki noticed them and put it into her cloak. She had an evil look in her eyes and walked up to Tobi. "Hey Tobi, have you ever thought about having kids?" Tsuki asked.

"Uhh, no?" Tobi asked nervously. He had a faint idea of what Tsuki was getting at.

"Well you know, what you did with Yuki just might have gotten her pregnant. And you would be the father." Tsuki said evilly.

Tobi froze. She was right. Then, Tobi panicked. "OMG! OMG! OMG!"Tobi panicked as he rampaged through the hideout.

Yuki waled in and noticed Tobi rampaging. "What happened?" Yuki asked as she saw Tobi run through the door.

"I just told Tobi that you could be pregnant with his child." Tsuki explained.

Yuki paled, and repeated Tobi's actions. "I have to find Tobi!" Yuki yelled as she ran out the door.

"Well that was fun." Tsuki said as Hidan entered the room.

"Hey Hidan. Only one of the girls is still single, un. If I were you, I wouldn't let anyone try to get her." Deidara suggested.

"Really?!" Hidan was a little shocked that someone had managed to get one of them. Hidan then spotted Tsuki and walked up to her, determined to get the other sister before someone else.

"Hey," Hidan said seductively. "Do you like older men?" He asked.

"Uhh, where is this going?" Tsuki asked.

" 'Cause you know I'm sixty-five." Hidan stated as he smoothed his already slicked back hair as if it was the best fact in the world. (A/N: This actually happened to me once, but the kid was like twelve. I know this isn't his real age, I just couldn't resist. The kid even said he was sixty five!)

SLAP!

"Get away from me you old pervert!" Tsuki yelled at Hidan. Kakuzu happened to walk into the room as the whole thing was happening. He smirked as he got an idea.

Hidan was being emo in the corner when Kakuzu decided to make his move. "Hey Tsuki, do you like older men?" Kakuzu asked. Tsuki just sat there irritated. " 'Cause you know I'm over 100 years old."

AGAIN SLAP!

"You people are so unoriginal!" Just as Tsuki said that, Zetzu comes up and uses the same line, being rewarded with another slap. Then, Kisame walks into the room, and again, the same line, and gets slapped.

Deidara decided to mess with the guys and join the party. He walked up to Tsuki, while she just looked at him nervously, not wanting to slap him, but if he used the same damn line, she would just lose it.

"Hey, do you like art? 'cause I can make sculptures, but none are as beautiful as you." He said as he revealed a small clay dove.

The others just smirked, the same thing going through all their minds. '_That line will never work, it's all about the age.' _They all gasped as Tsuki accepted the small clay bird.

Tsuki had a small blush as she studied the bird. "T-thank you Deidara-Danna. I don't think anyone has ever made something like his for me." Tsuki hugged him and than pulled him into the kitchen by his arm. "I have an idea! Lets get some ice cream!" Tsuki exclaimed as she pulled a container of ice cram out of the freezer.

"Okay, un." Deidara said as he stood beside the wolf girl as she scooped some for the two of them.

In the other room, the boys were feeling sorry for themselves. "I can't believe she chose Deidara over me! I'm irresistible!" Hidan complained, Zetzu and Kisame glared while Kakuzu looked like a mess on the floor, too consumed by the misery of losing the girls.

"I loved them so much!"Kakuzu cried in his own little emo corner.

In the kitchen, the two were listening to the whining of the four in the other room. "They are such babies. I know! Just to mess with them, I will have a contest to see who gets me. Then at least one of them will not be so gloomy. You can play too if you want, Deidara-Danna. You know, just to make them more competitive." Tsuki suggested.

"Sure." and that began the contest.

Tsuki finished her ice-cream and did the dishes before walking out of the room to announce the contest. "Alright boys, if you really want me, then you have to do a contest to see who gets me. There will be several rounds, and whoever wins the most gets me." The guys smirked. "The first one is, guess an article of clothing with rainbows on it and wear it. The one with the right guess wins. I will not change what it is as of now, so go." With that, the boys ran off to find some rainbow filled clothes.

Once everyone was back, they were covered with rainbow stuff, except for Deidara who was just wearing rainbow socks. It made Tsuki want to hurl at all the rainbows. She looked at all of them carefully. "The answer is rainbow socks! Deidara wins!" Tsuki then ran up to Deidara and hugged him. "Yay! I like you better than the others anyway!" Tsuki cheered as the other contestants just felt heartbroken.

"Alright, the next one will be guess the right animal. You only get one try so be careful." Tsuki said.

The boys all guessed the weirdest things.

Kakuzu "Lemur?"

Hidan "Bat?"

Kisame "Ant eater?"

Zetzu "Komodo dragon?"

Deidara actually guessed an easy one. "Wolf?"

"It was a wolf. You guys couldn't just guess what was so obvious?! I am part wolf too! You should have guessed! Deidara-Danna, you are now officially smarter than a fifth grader!" Tsuki then kissed Deidara on the cheek.

"The prizes will get better if you have more points. Now, I'm gonna go to my room. You guys can have a break." Tsuki walked out of the room.

Deidara turned to the other four to find them glaring daggers at him. "Uhh, Wait up Tsuki!" Deidara then chased after Tsuki to avoid being severely injured.

Just then, rampaging Yuki and Tobi ran into the room, and Yuki froze. "You!" Yuki then ran over to Hidan and began to punch him, leaving holes in his flesh as she pumped chakara to her arms.

"If you didn't dare me to do that I wouldn't have the possibility of being pregnant!" Yuki accused.

"You didn't have to do the dare!" Hidan just barely got out before he collapsed.

"I-I..." Yuki fell to her knees. "I-it doesn't m-matter. I still d-did it. In the end, it is my f-fault. I did this t-to...myself." Yuki reasoned to herself as she quietly sobbed. She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself.

Tsuki couldn't take her usually cheerful sister in such a state. "Yuki, please don't do this. It kills me to see you do this." Tsuki hugged her sister. Then it hit her. "We don't know if it is true or not." Yuki stopped for a minute and raised her head form her knees.

"Yeah. You're right! I'm gonna go ask Dave." Yuki said as she quickly made her way to her room where she knew Dave was.

"Why is she going to ask Dave? He's just annoying." Kisame asked.

"Because Dave is the god of knowledge we met at a meeting once. He can't lie, but he uses the most embarrassing truths of a person and use it against them. He only does it because he is bored though." Tsuki explained.

"You mean, all the things he said were true?" Kisame asked, a little paranoid that someone knew everything about a person. Especially himself.

"Yup." Tsuki then went into Yuki's room and looked around. In the distance, she could see Yuki already talking to Dave. "There she is!" Tsuki then began to run to where Yuki was.

Yuki saw Tsuki and walked over and eventually, Tsuki slowed. "How did it go?" Tsuki asked.

"I am not pregnant! I have to go make sure Tobi isn't still worried over nothing." And the girls made their way back to he rest of the group. "Say, where is Tobi anyway?" Yuki asked.

"He is probably beating up Leader-san. He said that if he never formed the organization, this would have never happened." Tsuki explained.

"Poor Leader-sama. He has to be beaten up by one of the most powerful forces in the world, but do you think he would really do that?" Yuki asked.

"Maybe. I don't know. It depends on how mad he is, but I don't think he would blow his cover." Tsuki reasoned.

"Yeah, but maybe he just went to the training dojo to take out his frustrations. That would definitely be a smarter move." Yuki said.

Behind the two girls, the small group was a little confused of what they were talking about, so they just kept quiet and eventually left.

The girls eventually made their way to the dojo to find Tobi literally jumping off the walls, and everything he touched broke into a million pieces, except for the walls.

"Hey Tobi!" Yuki called. Tobi froze, suspended in mid air. He then dropped to his feet and walked over.

"Yeah?" Tobi asked. Seemingly calm while inside he was struggling not to just keep destroying stuff.

"You should stop freaking out because Dave told me I'm not pregnant. I'm just so relieved too. I'm not really ready for that kind of thing. I turn 18in two weeks, but I am still 17."Tsuki suddenly stiffened.

"You mean our birthdays are that close? I didn't even know!" Tsuki ran out of the room. "I have to go check something!" and with that, Yuki and Tobi were left standing in the room.

"I have a fun Idea."Yuki smirked.

Back in the living room, Hidan was sitting on the couch when Yuki and Tobi walked in. Yuki spotted him and sat on his lap "Hey Hidan-kun." Yuki said in a seductive voice. "I think your age is really smexy." Yuki twirled her tail around and began to caress Hidan's body with it.

In the doorway, Tobi was practically oozing with jealously.

Hidan smirked. "Well you know, I AM 65." Hidan proclaimed proudly.

"Well you know what is smexier than that?" she said, leaning in closer.

"My charming good looks?" Hidan asked or rather, stated.

"No..." Then, just before their lips met, "Tobi!" Yuki then jumped off of Hidan and glomped Tobi.

Now Tobi was happy and Hidan was sad. Everyone wins! (because Hidan doesn't count)

Now, Tsuki had walked in and decided to have some fun. "HIDAN!!" She screamed.

"What?" Hidan asked.

"Do...do you not love me anymore? Am I not good enough?! Why do you go off after other women when you could've had ME?! I caught you flirting with my sister! Openly and with an audience! You should be ashamed! I don't like you people!" and Tsuki stormed off.

"Oh,...I didn't think of it that way." Hidan said. He felt no shame in what he did. She wasn't his girlfriend, so why was she like that anyway? "They are so strange." then out of thin air the girls appeared.

"Thank you!" They cheered in unison.

"Uhh, you're ...welcome?" Hidan was a little creeped out at the fact that they had thanked him for calling them strange.

"Byez now!" They left Hidan to sit on the couch once more, except this time, he was a little disheveled and greatly disturbed.

"I'm gonna go now..." And he left.

Back in Tsuki's room, she found a mysterious bottle of sake. "Cool." She then inspected it to make sure it was not poisoned, and drank it happily. She liked the burning sensation it gave her as it made its way down her throat.

Then, Deidara walked in. "Hey, you wan' sum?" Tsuki asked in a slightly slurred voice.

"sure, un." Deidara answered cheerfuly, as he took a big gulp of the mysterious sake. The next thing they knew, they were drunker than a bunch of apple farmers in wine season.

Tsuki decided to go look for the group of guys that were playing in the contest.

"Hey, guyz! Whaz up?" she asked in a very slurred voice. The group just looked at her like she was crazy.

"Teh' next contest-thing is to pickez out the right songz. Yous gots one shot, so go, or whatever!" she shouted. Soon, all the guys were singing and the songs they chose were...

Kisame- 'fallow me' by uncle cracker

"...and swim through your veins, like a fish in the sea, i'm singing..."

Hidan-'i'm too sexy' by ??

"I'm too sexy for my shirt..."

Kakuzu- 'give me money' by ???

"give me money, honey, give me lots of shiny money..."

Zetsu- 'man eater' by mean girls

"she's a man eater, make ya' work hard..."

and that's when Deidara stumbled into the room, looking like he just came back from two weeks at 'party like a rock' camp singing the bestest song eva'

"ABCEDFG!, HIJKLMNOP!! QRSTUV, WXY AND Z!! NOW I KNOW MY ABCS, NEXT TIME WON'T YOU SING WITH ME?!" and in the end, it sounded like a retarded toddler.

"YOU WIN!!" Tsuki said as she glomped Deidara and kissed him on the lips.

'Wha'?'was all Deidara was thinking while he was being kissed by the younger wolf girl.

Soon enough they were making out on the floor. The pair then passed out on said floor and the guys just walked away. "WHO WAS THE WISE GUY TO GIVE THEM SAKE?!" Kakuzu yelled.

Zetzu hesitantly raised his hand.

"WHAT WOULD DRIVE YOU TO DO THAT?!" Kakuzu yelled yet again.

"Well," His white side began. "**Girls would usually go for any guy they see when they are drunk, so I thought she would make out with me rather than Deidara.**"his dark side finished.

Yuki heard the conversation and ran into the room. "WHO GAVE TSUKI SAKE?! IT'S LIKE GIVING A TODDLER EXPLOCIVES!"Yuki yelled.

"Well she's passed out under Deidara who was just as drunk as she was." Hidan explained.

"BUT THEN THERE'S AFTER SHE WAKES UP! SHE IS CRAZIER THAN USUAL!" Yuki yelled. Then, they heard a thud in the other room.

Tsuki had pushed Deidara off of her and was now up and running like she had a million and one cups of coffee.

"OMGYOUGUYS!SOMETIMESIDREAMABOUTCUPCAKESRULINGTHEWORLDANDYOUGUYSARETHEEVILCELERYSTICKS!" Tsuki then turned to Zetzu.

"ANDYOU'RETHERABBITKINGWHOCONTROLSTHECELERY!YOU'REVIL!"Tsuki then pulled a bag of pizza slices. "I VOTE WE THROW A PIZZA PARTY!" Tsuki then began to launch her pizza projectile, the others getting covered in the delicious cheese and sauce.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" All but Yuki paniced.

"Hey Tsuki-chan!" Tsuki snapped to attention. "Why don't you go drink some coffee?"Yuki asked. Tsuki grinned while the rest of the little group looked as if the world was to end.

"WHAT?!" They all yell-asked-demanded.

"Just trust me on this one." She whispered as she watched Tsuki rush into the kitchen for some coffee. Tsuki quickly got the biggest cup of coffee any of the Akastsuki had ever seen, and began chugging the dark liquid.

Tsuki then passed out, and Yuki caught the giganto-cup before it made the biggest mess on the floor. "I TOLD you guys!" Yuki grinned. "But we never finished our little pizza party now did we?" All of our little audience gasped.

"NOOOOOOOO!" they all yelled as they escaped through the halls.

"Yay! Now I have all the goodness to myself!" Yuki cheered as she ate the pizza off the ground. Tobi walked in.

"Tobi likes pizza! Can Tobi have some?" Tobi asked.

"Sure" Yuki then resumed eating the pizza.

For a few hours, the two just sat there eating pizza until there was none left to eat. "Hmm...now what?" Yuki asked.

"Tobi dosen't know." Tobi replied,still sitting on the floor.

Then, the two pizza filled Akatsuki saw Deidara moving a little. "What happened, un?" He asked while trying to shut out the light as best he could with his arm as he tried to sit up.

"You and Tsuki got drunk and there was about twenty pounds of pizza, but Tobi and I ate it all. Lets just say that you two were drunker than a barrel of monkeys" Yuki explained. "But then I gave her some coffee and she went unconscious. See." she said as she pointed to the lump that was next to him.

"What did we do un?" Deidara asked, a little bit scared of what answer he would get.

"Well, you guys were singing the 'ABC' song when you passed out on top of her and she woke up, went berserk and flung pizza everywhere." Yuki answered. "But that was a few hours ago."

"Ungh."Tsuki groaned as she sat up in the corner. "What happened? Wait...I remember now. Did you save any pizza for me?" Tsuki asked.

"No." Yuki said.

"How can you remember that, un? You were drunk and passed out for several hours." Deidara asked.

"I just remember stuff that is generally useless.. So, yeah." Tsuki then pulled out another slice of pizza, but this one was nice and fresh. "Mmm!" Tsuki ate her pizza happily. She turned to Deidara. "you want some?"

"Sure." and they ate pizza for a while and Tobi and Yuki started to watch TV. Soon enough, they had all eaten lots of pizza, watched several movies, and it was now about midnight.

Tsuki had fallen asleep on the couch, Tobi was about half awake, Yuki was sitting next to Tobi, snuggled into his side, and Deidara was on the floor, half asleep while trying to watch the show.

It looked cute, well, except for the fact that there was like the WORST movie playing. It was so bad, nobody actually stayed awake through the entire thing, and everyone ended up asleep.

In the morning, the little group awoke, the first awake was Tsuki. Tsuki felt evil this morning, so she crept up on Deidara, and pulled out a bucket of water. Then, just when she was about to dump the thing on him, someone had already taken the bucket and dumped it on both her and Deidara.

"AHHH!"Tsuki shrieked, which woke everyone else in the room, besides Deidara who had been already awoken by the bucket-o-water. Tsuki turned to see who had made her mad and wet. She saw Hidan standing over her with the bucket and staring at her chest.

Tsuki slapped him and ran to her room to get changed.

"Okay Hidan, that was a very bad move, un. Because now, I might have to shove explosives down your throat and set them off the next time you do something like that, un." Drenched Deidara threatened as he sat up.

"Well, it was worth the nice sight. Besides, she was going to do it to you if I hadn't done it first." Hidan said as he walked off.

Deidara sighed, why did life hate him? It was like he could never win. "I'm gonna go take a shower, un." He said as he walked out of the room.

"I'm going to make breakfast." Yuki declared as she walked into the kitchen. Once she was in, she began to sing while preparing some fancy breakfast called eggs Benedict.

She only sang when she felt nobody was around, and while she was doing something else. Today she decided to sing the song 'fix you' by cold play that does not belong to the authoress of the story.

"When you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse..." To tell the truth, she really liked this song, and was singing it like crazy before Yuki turned her into a dog so she wouldn't sing it anymore. Though she must keep a close eye on the 'thing' she was making, and she would make sure to make Itachi's food purple...

She continued to cook and sing. "And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?"

Then, Tsuki walked in to get breakfast, and slowly backed out at the sound of the dreaded song.

"Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones.(A/N: does anyone know where people come up with these lyrics?!)And I will try to fix you." She stopped singing once she began to make the mayonnaise, because it was very easy to break, so she had to put all her attention on the stuff. Once she finished, she began to sing again as she made the eggs.

"High up above, or down below. When you're too in love to let it go. If you never try, you'll never know, just what you're worth." Yuki then began to finish the breakfast just as people started filling into the kitchen. She played the rest in her mind as she served everyone their meals, and Itachi's purple meal.

"Why is my food purple?" Itachi asked.

"You never said it couldn't be purple." Yuki replied as she happily ate her eggs.

Soon everyone had finished, and Tsuki was doing the dishes, everyone had left besides Deidara. "Hey, Tsuki-san, un. How can you be so happy all the time? It seems anyone with your kind of life would have already committed suicide, un. What keeps you going so happily?" He asked, it had been bothering him for a while. He just had to ask or let it chew at his mind forever.

"Well, It makes life better to be happy. I mean, if you are gloomy all your life, that just consumes you until you die, but I will live forever so I don't have that to look forward to. Also, it is just better to let the past go. It is really in the past, and you can't change what is in the past, no matter how much you cry or whine about it." Tsuki explained.

"But how can you be so impossibly happy, un?" Deidara asked.

"Because that is how I am." Tsuki yelled. "It is just how I act. I sometimes ask myself that question. Why do people act the way they do? But some questions can't be answered." Tsuki then walked away.

Tsuki walked into her room, and turned into a bird. If there was one thing she loved to do, it was fly around in space. She formed a little bubble of air around herself. She them spread her wings and flew strait off the edge of the floor, into space.

Tsuki flew around a while before coming close to a galaxy. She admired the natural beauty that only a select few people had ever seen. Mostly because nobody could really get into space. She circled a while before heading back to her room. She must have been gone for hours.

Tsuki found her way back to her room, and turned back into her original form. By all the flying, she felt exhausted. She took a cool shower before just laying on her bed, gazing at the stars. She took out her sketchpad and drew for a while.

She would draw all kinds of things. Birds, foxes, raccoons, but she really liked to draw mythical creatures. Her favorite was the griffin. She could spend hours working on the feathers and the eyes. She liked how it could fly, while being a land creature.

Tsuki then just lay her sketchpad on her night stand and let sleep overtake her.A couple hours later, she was awoken by the smell f burning food, and...girlish screams?! She knew that Yuki never, EVER screamed out loud, so she got up to check it out.

What she found was quite disturbing. The freakish scream came from none other than Zetsu! And the smell was coming from the kitchen. Apparently, Itachi was trying to get back at Yuki for the 'purple' eggs incident, and this is the strange part, he was BOILING WATER!! How so you burn water? Well, apparently, our little 'Tachi found a way.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" shouted a very angry Yuki, as she stormed through the room.

"I was boiling water, and then it burned into this black gooey stuff." Itachi said as calmly as a guy with a Japanese veggie knife pointed at his neck. (You know those knives that people always mistake for a butcher knife? Its actually a veggie knife)

Everybody was shocked to say the least. "How?" they all asked in unison. Itachi just shrugged and tried to get the stuff off of the pan. But it wouldn't budge. "Yuki, do you know how to get it off?" asked a very angry, though you couldn't tell, Itachi.

"Tsuki, would you please help me with this?" Yuki asked.

"No problem" And the primeval ooze dissipated. "Itachi, WHY did you do that?!" Tsuki scream-asked.

" 'Cause I can." Itachi replied.

"Well, DON'T!" Tsuki yelled. "Or else I'm keepin' it."

"Keeping what?" Itachi asked.

"That is for me to know, and for you to struggle to find out. Or burn water again and figure out what I took." Tsuki then walked out of the kitchen, and just pulled out a bagel to eat. It really was fun to transform anything.

Tsuki then came across Pein. "Hey Leader-sama, what do you look like under the shadows?" Tsuki asked.

"The reason I wear the shadows is to keep everyone from knowing what I look like. So why would I tell you?" He asked.

"Well, because I will find out anyway." Tsuki said. Just after that, the shadows fled and revealed a man with blazing orange hair and many piercings all over his face.

Pein was shocked. "How did you do that?!" He demanded.

"I replaced your shadows with light." Tsuki replied as she ran off, snickering at her little discovery."I never knew Leader-san was into piercings!"

Yuki was still in the kitchen, but today she didn't make any special breakfast. She just had cereal and left to find Tobi. "Tobi! I wanna talk to you!" Yuki called through the halls. Then, Tobi came into view.

Tobi walked to Yuki "Yeah?"

"Well, I was wondering if you would like to come to my room for a while. I have totalk to you about stuff." Tobi nodded and they left for Yuki's room.

Once they entered the depths of hell, they made it to a palace in the middle. They walked through halls and eventually found the master bedroom. It was a huge, luxurious room with golden curtains, and red walls. The bed was a king size and had gold sheets that when you touched them, it seemed fire was dancing on the material. There was a large vanity made of mahogany. There were several doors leading out of the room, one to a bathroom, another to a giant closet.

Surprisingly, the floor was ghost white while the rest was either red or gold.

"Cool." Tobi said as he admired the great detail and work put into each itm.

"Yeah. Well, I just want to ask, on the day before my birthday, could you lock me in here?" Yuki requested.

"Why?" Tobi asked.

" 'Cause when I turn 18, I will feel the urge to find a mate. The only way to keep me from doing thisis to keep me from all contact of any living things. I only have little more than a week until it happens so I really need to get someone to do this for me."Yuki explained. "This goes for Tsuki too when she turns 18 in a year." She finished.

"Really?" Tobi asked.

"Yeah. By then, we are fully mature, and if we do mate, it is for the rest of eternity. So I really would appreciate that you would lock me up for a day or so." Yuki said as she sat on the bed.

"Okay. How long until Tobi can let you out?" Tobi asked.

"Give me about two days." Yuki said. "Well, we should get back now." They then left the room and back to base. Hell was really big,then Tobi thought of something.

"Why do you live in Hell?" He asked.

"Because I am the god of death. I still have work, and besides, the room is so luxurious." Yuki replied.

"why don't you live in Heaven?" Tobi asked.

"Because that is for a different god. You see, once a soul is punished for its sins here, it goes to Heaven to wait to be turned into another life. Sometimes, they turn back to human, sometimes it is turned into an animal or plant. It really depends on what life the person lived. Animals and plants go through the same process." Yuki explained.

Tobi thought about it and it made sense. Soon, they walked back into the base.

"I can't believe almost a week went by already." Yuki complained.

Then, Pein walked in, his shadows renewed, and Tsuki asking him a million questions. "How many points are on a circle? What is the circumference of a penny? If EMc2, what does the c stand for? I know what the other letters stand for, but I always forget the c!" Tsuki complainedthen she asked a useful question. "Hey, after we catch all the jinjuuriki, what are we gonna do with 'em?" She asked.

"That is none of your concern. Now leave me alone!" Pein was agitated, but he couldn't do anything unless he wanted to get turned into a teapot or something.

"Aww! Yuki! Leader-sama is being mean!" Tsuki complained.

"He doesn't have to be nice, Tsuki. He is leader. He can do whatever he wants to do."

"Okay." They just watched TV for the rest of the day, and went to bed. The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful since they still couldn't go outside because of the weather.

&&&&&&

Ending it here! I'm sorry that it took me so long to update! I just, well. I had to write this. And thanks to my reviewers for reviewing. You get a sack-o-bricks! Yay! I promise I will update soon. REVIEW! Byez!


	12. The crazed Yuki

Yayz! I don't own stuff! Don't sue! I have nothing for you to take anyway! Besides Yuki and Tsuki. They're mine. Anyways, eat dough nuts! They are delicious!

Itachi- No they aren't

'Lil miss lazy- WHAT DID I SAY?!

Itaci- Uhhh, I don't remember?

'Lil miss lazy- WELL JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE!

Itachi- Noooooo.

'Lil miss lazy- oh, you asked for it.

Itachi- asked for what? I don't recall asking for anything.

'Lil miss lazy- then consider it a 'special prize'

HappyEmoPuppies- TAKE IT AWAY WEIRD ANNOUNCER GUY!!!

(Somewhere in Afghanistan, wearing a hat that says, 'AMARICA ROX' and a shirt with the american flag on it)

That's right Bob! You win a baby blue convertible that is partly reorganized, as in is totaled and we are putting the defective pile of $#!t with YOOOU!! Back to you Bob!! I need to run away from these mean people with machine guns that are screaming and trying to kill me for no reason

(in the background)

"YOU AMERICAN BASTARDS!! YOU KILLED KENNY!!!"

"YOU KICKED MY SON INTO OBLIVION"

"YOU ATE MY CHICKEN WANG!!"

Well, I got to go before I die! Back to you Bob!! 

(Back in 'Lil miss lazy's darker-than-any-kind-of-natural-blue room)

HappyEmoPuppies- NIKKI'S NAME IS NIKKI, SHE IS A GIRL, AND I WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE YOU SON OF A BISCUT IN A BASKET EATER!! 

On with the chappie!

&&&&&&&&&&&&

Nearly a week passed and the wolf people were getting antsy. Tsuki knew about Yuki having to stay in her room for two days, so she was helping out around the kitchen as the two were

pre-making any food the Akatsuki would need. Yuki was used to this, while Tsuki struggled to keep up.

"Tsuki, would you please put this, that and this into that pot over there?"Yuki asked as she handed Tsuki three bowls with stuff in them.

"How do you keep up with all this stuff?! Its nearly IMPOSSIBLE!!"Tsuki yelled as she put the stuff in the pot.

"Hay, Tsuki, while I'm gone, would you keep 'Tachi out of the kitchen? I can't do damage control like I did last time."Yuki said

"But I got the stuff off the pan, what did you do?" Tsuki asked

"I got Zetsu to stop screaming like a little girl while you were doing that."Yuki explained "It was really hard to do, especially when Itachi told him he was making veggie soup."

Yuki was working at lightning speed, then she found that she was being watched by the rest of the little group as she was flipping eggs without a spatula, and stirring some soup at the same time.

"Wow..."was stated by none other than Itachi as he watched.

"and now we wait for about an hour. Tsuki, you can take a break now." Yuki said

"FINALY!" Tsuki said as she collapsed on the couch.

"Hay, Yuki, what are you going to do with all that food? Are you going away or something?" Zetsu asked.

"COME-ETH HITHER LITTLE ONES, AS I TELL-ETH A STORY TO-ETH YOU ALL-ETH" Yuki yelled as if she was selling Ye' old newspapers. Everybody gathered around her in a circle as she sat down in the middle.

"Ok, so here's the deal, On my 18th birthday, something happens to all wolves that last for at least two days. That thing is that I get really, ummm, well, horneysoIneedtobelockedupfortwodaysandallthatfoodI'mmakingisforyouguyssothat'Tachidoesn'tSOMEHOWburnwateragain. Do you understand my little ones?" Yuki said the middle part realy fast so that nobody would understand it, unfortunately, they heard her loud and clear. And then Hidan just had to raise his hand.

"Yes Hidan?" Yuki asked

"And that's a bad thing because..."Hidan asked the most stupid question ever!

"Because I can't stop. Trust me, Its not a good thing. And I have yo mate for life. Which for me is all eternity. WHICHIS A VERY BAD THING!"Yuki answered. Then a timer went off.

"OMG THE CHICKEN CORDON BLUE!!" Yuki yell-talked.'Tachi fallowed her into the kitchen to ask another question.

"When is this going to happen?" He asked really plainly

"Sometime tomorrow, Why?" Yuki asked.

"Because I want to know how long it will be until I have to eat all this precooked crap."Itachi stated blandly.

Yuki froze, and turned around with a sadistic look in her eyes. "Let me ask you Itachi, would YOU like to cook for the Akatsuki?" She asked.

"No."

"THEN DON'T CRITISIZE MY COOKING!" Yuki had backed Itachi into a corner. "Got it?"

"Sure." Itachi seemed unaffected, but Yuki knew better.

"GOOD!" Yuki harshly whispered as she kept working on the food.

Itachi just walked away.

"Hey Itachi! Today I'm 17! Woot! Give me a cookie." Tsuki demanded.

"Make me." Itachi retorted.

"Okay!" Itachi then turned into a seemingly delicious cookie, well we don't know if it is or not until we taste it now do we? "Yay!" Tsuki then picked up the Itachi cookie. Kisame walked in.

"Have you seen Itachi?" HE asked.

"He is now my cookie." Tsuki replied. She looked at the cookie hungrily and Kisame finally got it.

"DOON'T!!" Kisame quickly snatched the cookie away. "Turn him back!"

"Gimme a dollar first." Tsuki held out her hand.

"You greedy little b-" Kisame then turned into a dollar while Itachi turned back into a people.

"Where did Kisame go?" Itachi asked.

"He is now my money." Tsuki pocketed the Kisame money.

"Okay, just don't spend him all inone place. Was he really worth only a dollar?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah." Kakuzu walked in. "Hay Kakuzu! Want a dollar?" Tsuki asked.

"Yeah! Gimme!" Kakuzu then ran over to Tsuki and searched her pockets for the dollar. When he pulled it out, it turned into Kisame.

"AHHH! You said it was money!" Kakuzu yelled.

"It WAS money, but now it is Kisame." Tsuki explained. Kakuzu just cursed and stormed off. "Fun times." Tsuki then walked into her room for another flight in the galaxy. Once in her room, she closed the door and flew off. She reached a small planet that was a little warm, but it was a nice kind of warm.

"I have an idea." She then put a thicker atmosphere on the planet, along with a flowing river and small mountains. She put grass and trees on the planet with a few different types of flowers.

While she worked, she was fantasizing about having a quiet little planet to herself, where she could hide her problems and spend her time. This was actually the first time she had ever populated a planet with plants. She had also never put animals on other planets either. She had decided to make the atmosphere more red than blue, to make the sky have a purple-ish glow.

She decided to go back to tell her sister happy birthday before she got locked up. She flew back and ran to where Yuki was. "Happy Birthday Yuki-oneechan!" Tsuki hugged her sister before letting her go to hell for the two days.

Tsuki then went back to her room and modeled little creatures to put into her planet. The reason she had never populated a planet was because she could not bring complex things to life. No more than a plant unless the creature already had life. She could put chakara into it to animate it, but it wasn't the same.

An idea hit her. If she couldn't bring life to her clay, she would have to have flesh to work with. She turned her clay into the body of a fish, making sure to get all details, and put it into some water. Then, she warmed up the body to a good temperature, and tried to give it a heartbeat.

Tsuki got a heartbeat, but it quickly became unstable, and died out. Tsuki was thrilled. Not about the fact that the fish died, but that she had gotten something out of it. She decided that she would try to get the fish to stay alive and function.

She worked all day on her little project, and passed out at about midnight at her desk. She awoke to the feeling of someone shaking her. "Huh?" Tsuki opened her eyes to see Deidara shaking her. "What time is it?" She asked groggily.

"It is almost noon, what were you doing all of yesterday with a dead fish, un? It's kinda creepy that you would actually try to do something with it."

"I was working on my powers, something I should really do more often." Tsuki sat up from her desk, really sore from the position she was in previously.

"How does playing with a dead fish help your powers, un?" Deidara asked.

"I can only bring simple things such as plants to life unless the creature already has life in its body. The fish was never alive in the first place and I was hoping I could bring it to life." Tsuki looked over at her now half rotted fish.

Tsuki sighed and turned to the fish before turning it into oxygen. "Well, I'll work on another later. Deidara-Danna, wanna go have lunch?" Tsuki asked.

"Yeah. Why do you have your room look like outer space, un?" Deidara asked

"I like it because there is space to do anything, it is also so peaceful and the natural beauty is spectacular." Tsuki replied after walking for a while, Tsuki asked "Deidara-danna, where are we going? I thought the kitchen was the other way"

"You'll see, un."Deidara simply replied "What's a birthday gift if you already know what it is, un?"

Tsuki brightened as she started hopping along with Deidara to the depths of the base. In here was something that Tsuki was not expecting.

"Happy birthday, Tsuki-chan!" Deidara cheered. Inside the room was a giant bird shaped statue. It was beautiful, and Tsuki loved the great detail put into it.

"Wow! Deidara-danna! This is so cool!!"Tsuki cheered, then she saw that Deidara also brought along some of the food that they prepared earlier.

"There's food if you want any, un."Deidara stated as he started eating.

"Thank you so much Deidara-Danna! Where am I going to put it?...I know! I'll expand the floor and airspace in my room and put it there! I'll do that later though. Thanks again Deidara-Danna!" Tsuki thanked cheerfully before beginning to eat.

The two just talked for a while, and were enjoying the time they had together. A little question popped into Tsuki's mind. "Why?" She asked. Deidara looked up at her.

"Why what, un?" He asked. He really didn't see why she had asked that.

"Why would you do all this for me? Nobody had really ever done anything so nice for me. And I have never received a gift that has had such detail and effort put into it." Tsuki ran her hands along the bird's broad and beautiful wings. So elaborate, but based on the purity of nature's creation.

"Uhh..." Deidara really didn't know why he had made the bird for Tsuki, he just felt she would like it. He didn't know why he had put such effort into it. "I'm not sure, un. I just thought you would like it." Deidara said.

Tsuki smiled and walked up to Deidara, and looked up at him. "Thank you." They looked at each other. He leaned in, and she was a little nervous about what was going on, her heart raced so much, she thought it would just give out. But she didn't protest. Their lips touched, if only for a moment, and Diedara pulled away and left. Tsuki stood there, still trying to calm her rapidly beating heart.

"Woah, I think...I should get this to my room." Tsuki finished. She was a little frightened by what was going on. She scolded herself for not catching it earlier. She expanded her room and teleported the bird in. "This would make for a beautiful creature." Tsuki looked at the bird before heading out of the room.

Later, Tsuki found Hidan and came up with an oh-so-fun idea. "Hey Hidan-kun." Tsuki called with that sweet as sugar tone that would make any man melt to the sound. Hidan immediately appeared.

"Yes?" Hidan asked, he looked so handsome that any sane woman would swoon.

Tsuki was no sane woman though.

"I want you to walk through this door and go to the palace inside, and when you find the big bedroom doors, open them. 'Kay?" Tsuki asked.

"Okay." Hidan then slipped through the door, still unsure of what he was doing it for, but Tsuki asked him to, so he would.

Hidan wandered for a while, and heard some weird noises. He followed the noises, and found a big set of oak doors with gold leaf on the carvings. The carvings were a little army of devils, following their leader, Yuki. Hidan opened the door to a very strange sight.

Inside was Yuki, sitting on the bed, and it seemed she had been attacked by a box of one dozen starved weasels.(A/N: Seem familiar?)

In another part of hell, Tobi was wandering around because he thought Hell was better than Earth. Eventually, he found the torture chambers. "Hey! Maybe Sasori is in here." Tobi walked in to see some starving people chained to a wall while Sasori was sitting in front of them with a can of Pringles.

One of the starving people started yelling at Sasori, not bothering to take notice of Tobi. "GIVE ME FOOD YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER!" He demanded, oh, and did I forget to mention these people must have been 96 years old.

"Not today." Sasori munched another chip, and turned to Tobi. "Hey Tobi. You want to join me? Just grab a sandwich and watch the people suffer."

Tobi knew it was wrong to torture people, but it was Hell and the people were there to be tortured anyway. "Okay Sasori-san." The starving people saw the sandwich.

"WHY CAN'T I HAVE FOOD?! YOU! GIVE ME THAT SANDWICH NOW!" The old man demanded.

"Get your own." Tobi took off his mask and began to eat the sandwich.

Sasori stared. "Tobi, you NEVER take off your mask." Sasori stated.

"Well, a lot has changed since you have been dead. You must trust the Tobi." Tobi replied before taking a big bite of the delicious sandwich.

Back with Hidan, Yuki snapped her head in his direction, and grinned broadly. "Hey HIDAN, you wanna play a GAME?" she asked. She had that weird glow in her eyes that told you something was up.

"Uhhh,...No?" Hidan was nervous. Maybe it was a bad idea to listen to Tsuki. He made a mental note to never do that again.

"Don't make me come over there." Yuki threatened in a sweetly seductive voice. It made Hidan want to...I'm not even gonna finish that sentence.

"Uh, I gotta go somewhere!" Hidan quickly ran off, Yuki close behind.

"HIDAN-KUN! WAIT! I JUST WANNA HAVE A LITTLE FUN!" Yuki beg-yelled.

Hidan eventually ran into the torture chamber. Tobi saw him and wondered what Hidan was doing there. "Hey Hidan! Whatcha doin here?" Tobi asked.

Hidan looked at Tobi. "GETTING AWAY!" Hidan then ran out of the room. Yuki came into the chamber to see, not Hidan, but Tobi and Sasori. She got an idea. "Hey SASORI-KUN, I have some CANDY for you." Yuki took out a Twix (Don't own Twix) and held it above her head. "Come here and get it. Its just for you." Yuki saw her plan working when Sasori's eyes gleamed in the non-existent light.

"Oooh, caaandy." Sasori ran up to Yuki and tried to reach the Twix, but he was so short, and she was abnormally tall. It just wasn't fair.

"I'll give it to you if you play with me." Yuki offered. Tobi realized what was happening.

"Hey! Yuki-chan is supposed to be locked up! Who let her out?!" Tobi panicked, and snatched the candy away. "Sasori-san! DONT GIVE IN!" Yuki pulled out yet ANOTHER Twix.

"Come on, you know you want some Sasori-kun."Yuki bent down, but she kept the candy high. "All you have to do is play with me." She grabbed poor unsuspecting Sasori. "So answer me. Wanna play?"

"If it means I get candy, THEN HELL YES!" Sasori demanded.

Tobi did that dramatic thing you do in the movies. "NOOOOOOOOO!" Tobi reached out and grabbed Sasori. "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT GAME SHE WANTS TO PLAY?!" Tobi scream-asked.

"No, and I don't really care if I get candy. Besides, how could it be so bad that YOU wouldn't want to play. SHE IS GIVING OUT FREE CANDY!" Sasori was mesmerized by the sugary treat. He hasn't had candy since he was human which was several years ago.

Tobi then whispered to Sasori, now he would usually explain this kind of thing slow and awkwardly, but this was REALLY important "She's gonna screw you into oblivion", then he hesitantly backed away from the crazed girl.

"Oh GOD. Uhh, I don't want to play anymore!" Sasori quickly stepped back a few feet. "Tobi, RUN!" Sasori commanded. "I'll take care of her! Now Run!** At least you can keep your virginity!" Sasori yelled **

"Well, funny story about that..." Tobi said kinda nervously. Sasori just stared at him.

"OMG!! TOBI'S NOT A GOOD BOY ANYMORE!!" Sasori shrieked as he fended off Yuki's first wave of attacks.

"Well, I disagree, Tobi is a VERY good boy. I should know," Yuki playfully jotted at Sasori. Then he turned to Tobi and stared at him with disbelief

"You did NOT do what I think you did, RIGHT Tobi?!" Tobi just stood there, playing with his fingers.

"Well, it depends, what DOES Sasori-danna think Tobi did?" Sasori took that as a yes, and just told him to go before he kills him with his puppet army. Now he needed to fend off Yuki so that she would not go into the base, which was FILLED with boys. That's the last thing they needed, a very hormonal, and useless, goddess of death while she was pregnant. Then, just imagine how powerful the kids would be! It would be awful!

"Come on Sasori-kun. You know you wanna play with me. I still have that candy, plus some pringles." Yuki cooed. She knew he was on the verge of giving in, but Sasori was very strong willed. Then, he saw backup coming, the rest of the Akatsuki!

"FINALY!!" Sasori cheered as Yuki was just standing there. She was in the Akatsuki long enough to know everybody's pet peeves.

"Hi everyone! Does anybody wanna play a game?!" She asked in a sickly sweet voice that would make any guy swoon. Then, Kakuzu came out of the crowd.

"What's in it for us?" He asked. Just then Tobi and Tsuki screamed out,

"SHE'S GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU UNTIL YOU DIE!! DON'T YOU REMBER THE TALK SHE HAD WITH YOU ABOUT HER 18TH BIRTHDAY?!"

"Yes I do, now come on, she's already got somebody pinned down." Kakuzu said calmly

"Who?" Everybody asked

"ME!!" He yelled enthusiastically, as Yuki came closer to the group with a crazy look in her eyes. Kakuzu was fine with being Yuki's mate for eternity. But the others just HAD to keep him from his dream.

"We only have a couple hours until she turns back to normal" Tsuki said.

"How do you know?" Pein asked.

"Because it's only two more hours till midnight" Tsuki said as she checked her watch as she said that. Tsuki then started thinking, when an idea hit her.

"Let Konan and me fight her. Trust me on this one. Hidan, go get her!" Tsuki ordered, just then, a lady with blue hair and a paper flower in it came in.

"Did someone call me?" She asked in a unusually cold tone. Tsuki then grabbed her and dragged her to the front lines. Yuki just stood there and stared at the two girls as they tried to attack her.

"Stand still, you wolf-thingy!" Konan said. Tsuki and Yuki just stood there and stared at her

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN OR ELSE WE'LL KILL YOU!!" They both yelled at her. Then the two started to gang up on Konan and almost started beating her into a bloody pulp, when Pein stopped them.

"Girls, don't hurt Konan-chan." He said as if she got hurt, he would attack them until they were no more. The the girls backed away a little.

"Hay, Yuki-chan is back to normal!!" Tobi cheered as he glomped her.

"Tsuki, why did you want to have Konan-chan fight her?" Pein asked

"Because we are the only other girls in the Akatsuki, besides, I know that Yuki wouldn't do that kind of thing to a girl." Tsuki explained. Then, Hidan remembered something that would get Tsuki for all the pranks and slaps she put him through.

"But I know that if your suuuch a smart strategist, then why did you tell me to let Yuki out?" Hidan asked in a sarcastic tone. Just then, everybody turned around to yell at her

"DON'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING SO STUPID EVER AGAIN!" They all scolded as Tsuki wasn't even paying attention to them. She was busy thinking of a way to get out of this mess without getting hurt. Then, she remembered she can transform anything, so she changed into a very big dinosaur.

"STOP YELLING AT ME! OR I WILL EAT YOU ALL!" She roared at the group as they backed away. Yuki spent the rest of the day making a special dinner for their birthday, she even made a peanut butter chocolate cake.

"Dinner!! Come and get it!!" she announced as everybody came running to the dinner table and ate their extremely good looking and tasting pot roast that could make a vegetarian start eating it.

They casually talked and ate the wonderful roast that was served with home made mashed potatoes. Then she dragged Tobi into the kitchen to help her with the very beautifully decorated cake with the words 'Happy Birthday Yuki and Tsuki' on it.

"Hay, Tobi, thank you for keeping everyone away from me. I know it must have been hard to do, especially since I was flirting with all the guys." she said as she put the cake on a cart because it was huge.

"You're welcome Yuki-chan." Tobi said as he turned around to see Yuki right in front of him. She then quickly pulled up his mask so that only his mouth was showing, and kissed him. They broke apart and served the cake to the rest of the members.

"Wow, its good!" Itachi said as he ate his cake like he would die in two seconds if he didn't.

"Yep!" cheered everyone else as Yuki sat and served herself.

"You know, this will happen every 2 years until I find a mate, so be prepared. Also, this will happen with Tsuki. And when we turn 26, it will happen every three months if we have not mated. So we almost have to find mates unless we want to waste time being locked up somewhere." Yuki stated as she ate.

"Really?" Tobi asked. "Well then, hopefully nobody will let you out again."

"Actually, I was thinking that I should find a mate soon. Do you know how bad it is to be locked up in a room when your in heat? It's not very fun." Yuki said as she ate her cake.

Everybody just stared at her, wondering who she would choose. Then, Yuki thought of the best plan ever. A contest! But it would be different than the one that Tsuki had, oh no, it would much more competitive.

"Now, I shall have a contest. There will be a tournament to see who is the most determined to get me. Last one standing wins. And trust me, you'll know when each contest is happening." Yuki stated as she finished the last of her icing.

Tobi was a little worried that she might choose someone else. That got him really worried.

"Now, there are no rules, but these people can't play. Pein, Hidan, Deidara and Kisame" Yuki said as she waited for everyone to finish the massive cake. Just then, Kisame's mouth hit the floor.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'I CAN'T PARTICIPATE'? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!" Kisame scream-asked

"No, It would just be really creepy to have little wolf-fish-people running around everywhere." Yuki said. Now they knew what she was talking about, kids. Almost all of them choked on the cake they were eating when they realized that she would want kids. It's only logical that she would want kids.

"Uh, can I not participate? I mean, I spent all that time and effort to destroy the Uchiha clan, so it wouldn't be on my schedule to rebuild it." Itachi stated.

"Okay. You won't participate along with the other four." Yuki agreed. Now, the only participants were Tobi, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetzu. "Okay, for participants, three parts to the tournament. The tournament will begin tomorrow." Yuki stated. "Leader-sama, would it be alright if we held this tournament and just got it over with other than put it off until last minute? It would be the most logical choice." Yuki asked. Leader nodded.

"Yes, that would be better, but no kids until we are the overlords of the world. Because they would slow us down in our quest." Leader then left the kitchen.

"Alright! I will be the referee in the contests!" Tsuki shouted. And they went to bed after the cake was deminished.

Let the games begin

&&&&&&

Yayz! The tournament will be real fun, and I'll give you a hint on who wins, IT'S NOT KAKUZU!

Kakuzu- WHAT?! THAT'S NOT FAIR!

'Lil miss lazy- Tough kid! Life isn't fair! Nikki-chan said she would say really bad things that just happen to be true about me on the Internet if you won!

HappyEmoPuppies- It is wise to heed my warning.

Kakuzu- That is sooo not fair! And this isn't life! It's a fiction! The girls should be mine! ALL MINE!

'Lil miss lazy- Jeez, you have problems man.

Kakuzu- YOU STAY A VIRGIN FOR OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AND STAY MENTALLY STABLE!!

'Lil miss lazy- Uhmm, No?

Kakuzu- RAAAAAAAAAAAWR! rampages

Well, see you next time! Byez!


	13. Long chapter wlotsostuff

Yayz! New chappie! Well this one will be all about Yuki's contest. This chapter will contain things I don't own such as Naruto, several food items, and many more! Or not, it depends on what I feel like putting in. Well, Does HappyEmoPuppies have anything to say? Or anyone else?

The HappyEmoPuppies- IT DEPEPND ON WHAT I FEEL LIKE!! (gosh)

Itachi -well you don't have to be mean about it.

HappyEmoPuppies- DON'T MAKE ME KEEP IT!! (I just feel like being mean today, DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!)

Itachi- keep what?

HappyEmoPuppies – why, its your...(a train passes and nobody knows what the HappyEmoPuppies is keeping)

Itachi- what?

HappyEmoPuppies- I'm not repeating it. NOW GO AWAY!!

Itachi- what if I refuse?

Girls- BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN!! 

Itachi- I'm gone then

Girls- Woot! (high five)

'Lil miss lazy- don't you think you were a little harsh, Nikki-chan?

Girls- Nah!

'Lil miss lazy- Wait, ... We don't have trains in our area!

HappyEmoPuppies- Uh, well about that,...On with the chappie!

&&&&&&

The next day, our four contestants, Zetzu, Tobi, Hidan and Kakuzu, were in the kitchen eating breakfast. Aparantly Tobi was oblivious to the tension in the room. All three of the other contestants were glaring at each other.

Breakfast was finished soon, and Tsuki did the dishes. "Okay guys." Tsuki said. "Yuki will pick the first contest." Tsuki announced.

Yuki thought of a very important aspect that was very important to her. "You have to write what you think of my cooking." Yuki said. "And it has to be written. Tsuki will give you stuff." Tsuki then passed out paper and pencils.

"What is this?! Kindergarten?!" Hidan yelled.

"Shut up and write! Wait, did you guys even pass kindergarten?" Yuki asked.

Zetzu sank into his chair. "Maybe." His white side suggested innocently. **"Maybe not." **His dark side said as he sank into his chair a little more.

Yuki stared. "Well, we learn something new every day. Now don't we? Anyway, just write." Yuki dismissed the subject.

The group all wrote different things, but Hidan's was practically poetry.

_Your fine cuisine has been like a dream ever since it had first graced my lips_

_it is so divine, only an angel of temptation could have put together such delicacies._

Tsuki was shocked at what Hidan had written._ 'So that is why he was so disappointed when we left on that mission'_ Tsuki kind of akwardly announced the winner. "Uhh, and the winner is...Hidan?" Yuki just sat there dumbstruck.

"WHAT?!" she yelled as she snatched away the answer sheets. She read Hidan's answer. "Dude...this has to be the best thing anyone has ever said about my cooking. SINCE WHEN COULD HIDAN EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT THIS KIND OF STUFF WAS?!" Yuki yelled.

"Hey!" Hidan was offended at the last part of her statement. "I really meant that!" He was now in dreamland about Yuki's delightful cooking.

"Okay then..." Tsuki said. "Moving on, Zetzu's was the worst so he is kicked off. Second round!"

Zetzu sadly walked away. He really wanted to win and not get kicked off in the first round. "Damn it" He cursed as he walked away.

"Next contest is a quiz. This will just be quick though." Yuki said.Just thenTsuki took out some more papers, on which was a small six question quiz. "the rules are, don't cheat, answer them all, and if you need to ask a question, Tsuki or I will come over and help. NOW BEGIN!" Yuki ordered.

- Kakuzu -

Kakuzu was reading through the quiz and saw the questions were ones that only people who actually knew anything about Yuki could answer.

Question 1) Out of these movies, what one is my favorite?

A. Epic Movie

B. Cars

C. Forest Gump

D. Nightmare Before Christmas

It was true that Yuki liked all of these movies, but he was having trouble with which one was her favorite! _'Crap! This is harder than I thought!_' He thought. Then he heard somebody stop writing and handing in a paper. It was none other than Tobi! '_how can that idiot pass through the quiz like it was nothing, oh well, that just means that I need to hurry up and finish.'_

Question 2) I have a pair of shoes. One shoe has a hole in it, should I buy a new one? Explain.

A. Yes

B. No

C. None of the above

lines for explanation

and then he heard another paper being handed in, Hidan's. _'CRAP! I NEED TO HURRY UP!_'

so he answered B. no. _'They should just live with it.' _He thought greedily.

Question 3) How would you feel if I started walking around in nothing but lingerie? (short answer)

So he answered _' I would not like to see you walking around in something so overly priced as lingerie. Those overly priced undergarments can burn a hole in my wallet faster than you can even say hello.' _

Question 4) What's my favorite song?

A. Raindrops on Roses by Panic! At the disco

B. Good Riddance by Green Day

C. Material Girl by Madonna

D. Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie

Kakuzu rushed through this question and answered D. So far he thought he was doing pretty good. Next question!

Question 5) What's my favorite candy?

A. Plain Chocolate

B. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

C. Twix bars

D. Lint Chocolate

_'This one is too easy'_ he thought as he quickly answered this question, C, Twix. Next.

Question 6) Why are you taking this quiz? (short answer)

Kakuzu was waisting time, so he put down what came to mind first. _'You told me to take this stupid quiz so that you could eliminate the weakest link.' _Then he ran up to Tsuki and handed her the paper. She just took it and then left for lunch.

-regular-

Tsuki graded the tests with the answer sheet Yuki had given her. _'I feel like an academy sensei'_ She thought.

"Alright, the results are in. I will go through the answers and tell you who got the right one, or as in the written answers, the best answer.." Tsuki announced. "Alright, question 1. Two people put d, one put c, and the winner of this question put a. That was Tobi." The Hidan and Kakuzu were shocked. '_HOW DID HE KNOW?!'_ They both thought nervously. The truth was that while they were up almost all night watching movies and eating pizza, Yuki had stated that she loved 'Epic Movie' When it came on. Tobi really pays attention to things.

"Question 2, one person put yes while two put no. The no were right, but the written response was really important. It was supposed to be a pair of shoes, not just one. The one to get that right was, again, Tobi." Hidan and Kakuzu were amazed. _'I didn't even notice that, so it was a trick question.'_ Hidan thought, while Kakuzu just sat there thoughtless.

"Question 3.This received some 'interesting' answers. One sad no because it was too expensive, which is kinda greedy. Another said that it would be really sexy. Another said that he would not like to have other men looking at her, which is a little possessive, but what kind of boyfriend isn't? The best response was, yet again, by Tobi." Tobi was doing a little dance in his head. '_Yay!'_ He cheered in his mind.

"Question 4. Favorite song. This got one a, one d, and a b. Th correct one was a. The winner is again Tobi." They sat there and Tobi was in a whole other league than the other two. He was probably the king of observing so he knew almost all things that involved Yuki.

"Question 5. My personal favorite, CANDY!"Tsuki cheered. "I got one c, one b, and the correct answer was d. This was surprisingly, not Tobi, but Hidan." Tsuki announced. Hidan smirked and mentally cheered.

"Last question, number 6. I got one that said 'to get rid of the weakest link' This is not that show on TV called the weakest link! This is the competition for the wolf girl, Yuki. The other said 'to get the girl' this was a little blunt, but it was right. The best one was Tobi's. He wrote 'I'm taking this quiz to win the love of my life.' It was sooo sweet, he won bonus points. 'Cause I said so." Tsuki sighed. "You are so romantic Tobi! I think you are really the perfect guy for Yuki, but that is no guarantee that you will win. Oh, and Kakuzu is kicked off." Tsuki stated.

Kakuzu left quietly. The poor guy was just a little mess in the emo corner.

"Next round will be at a caravel. Since the weather has gotten better, there is one going on in Tea country." Yuki announced. "Tsuki, would you grow out my hair a little and make the tips pink?"

"Sure." Yuki's hair grew shoulder length, the tips changed to pink, and was put into a French braid. Tsuki then changed her own hair. She grew it to her calves, and changed the color from blue to dark red with deep blue tips.

"We're gonna change, then meet us outside in about ten minutes. 'Kay?" Tsuki asked.

"Yeah." The two answered, and left for their rooms to change into non-Akatsuki clothes.

Tsuki just transformed her clothes under her cloak and took off the cloak. She was wearing a T-shirt that was a bright orange, and denim shorts that went to just above her knees, and were black. She wore black sneakers with orange laces and a black backpack.

"I'm gonna see if Deidara-Danna wants to come!" Tsuki raced off to find Deidara.

Back with Yuki, she got changed into a white halter top with pink short shorts. She also wore white sandals and pink fingerless gloves. She had a pair of sunglasses in top of her head also because her eyes were sensitive. "I sure hope they have some good rides. Like roller coasters! Yay!" she cheered as she skipped down halls of the base. She then met up with the rest of the group, and then Hidan and Tobi noticed her attire. They just stared at her while she gleefully skipped to the tea country. When they arrived, Tsuki grabbed Deidara and ran off in another direction.

"Have fun with your guys, Yuki-chan!!" Tsuki yelled while she was running. Yuki then noticed that people were staring at her like she was, and possibly is, the strangest person they've ever seen. It brought back bad memories, so she tried to hide between the two guys that were there. And by hide, it was more like trying to avoid Hidan like the plague and hold Tobi as close as possible.

"So, where do you wanna go first?" Yuki asked quietly, like she was suddenly a really shy person. This got Tobi thinking, _' maybe she just doesn't like people, she was abused all her life, so Tobi can't blame her'_ then, Tobi got an idea.

"Do you want to go on that ride, Yuki-chan?" He asked, as he pointed to a tall ride that slowly pulls you up, then drops you down extremely fast. (kinda like the Dominator at Dorney Park.)

"YES!" She cheered as she dragged them into line. This is the Yuki that they were fighting for. When they got in line, Yuki was thinking that maybe she would let Tobi and Hidan lead the way today. It would be fun to see what kind of rides that they wold like to go on. When they got to the front, Tobi, Yuki, and Hidan, sat in the ride and were exited all the way up. Then they finally reached the top and were yelling and screaming all the way down.

"That was AWESOME!! COME ON, LETS GET ON SOME MORE RIDES!! Hidan, where would you like to go?" Yuki asked. Hidan just pointed to the flume ride.

"Can we go on that?" He asked like a little toddler who found out something was fun, and wanted to try it. But, Hidan was just thinking _' I just need to get her wet, I WANT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER THAT SHIRT NOW!!' _and trying not to smirk as his plan worked. Yuki then grabbed both of their hands and dragged them to the flume ride. Then, she thought of something.

"Wait, can we wait until after we eat lunch? I don't like eating and getting everything wet at the same time." She said

"Then when is lunch?" Hidan asked as he sounded hurt

"In about a half an hour. Can you wait until then?" Yuki asked as she looked at him. She knew that he was planning something, but just didn't know what. (sometimes, even smart people are dumb)

"Yah, I can wait until then." He said sounding a little hopeful. '_ CRAP! I HAVE TO WAIT A HALF HOUR?! HOW WILL I LIVE?!'_ was what he was thinking, though.

"I have an idea! Lets go on the roller coaster!!" She cheered as she followed the guys to the tallest roller coaster that any of them have ever seen.

"The wait is only two minuets, so after this, we'll meet up with Tsuki and Deidara, and eat some lunch. Sound like a plan guys?" Yuki said while they were in line. Truthfully, Hidan wasn't even paying attention. He was thinking of his own perverted little plans, that involved a basket, some frogs, and a unusually large hat, but that was another story. They all basically end up the same way, getting a good look at her without her shirt or shorts on. He was practicaly having the biggest nosebleed in history, when he noticed that they were in the front of the line.

"THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME!!" Yuki said as she got on the three seated train. Once they got off the massive coaster, they got really dizzy, so they sat down near a lot of game stands.

"Yuki-chan is board!!" Yuki complained, while talking in third person.

"Maybe Tsuki-chan and Deidara-sempi are already waiting for us, we have to go." Tobi said as he sat on the bench. The other two agreed and headed out to find Tsuki and Deidara to eat some lunch. Once they got there, Yuki thought of a kinda stupid idea.

"WHO SHALL TRY AND DEFEAT THE ALMIGHTY CORNDOG EATING CHAMPION!?" Yuki shouted as she went up to a stand and ordered a ton of corn dogs. Tobi raised his hand and took off his mask.

"Here are the rules, no hitting, biting, or interfering with your opponent in any way, shape, or form! YOU MAY NOW BEGIN!!" Tsuki said as she backed away from the two. She knew that Yuki was undefeated, so she began to take bets. Most were on Tobi, but Yuki was defiantly wining

their little battle. Yuki was eating them in one bite, and just kept going, and going, and going some more! Tobi was eating at a little slower pace, but was keeping up well.

Eventually, Tobi got tired and stopped. Yuki was still going strong and kept eating more corn dogs, and soon, she was full as well. Hidan was still a little shocked that she ate over two hundred corn dogs, Tobi keeping up at somewhere near one hundred fifty. And that she was able to pay for all of that without going bankrupt.

"HOW CAN YOU EAT SO MUCH IN SO LITTLE TIME!? AND YOU ONLY GOT ONE MISSION!! HOW DID YOU EVEN PAY FOR THAT!?" Hidan scream-asked.

"My sister and I came from a very wealthy family. We got all the money after we left, so we are basically filthy rich." Yuki said with a smiled as Hidan stood there shocked.

"Oh, I almost forgot, here." Yuki said as she handed Hidan a twenty dollar bill.

"That's for lunch. Tobi, do you still want anything?" Yuki said. Tobi looked at her with wide eyes as he shook his head vigorusly.

"NOOOOOOO!!" He yelled as he backed away a little.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO TOBI! HOW ARE YOU STILL HUNGRY?!" Hidan again scream-asked.

" I didn't get the nickname ' The Human Garbage Disposal' for nothing!" Yuki said as she ordered a batch of cheese fries.

"Hidan? Are you going to get anything?" Tsuki asked. Hidan then grabbed a very disturbed Yuki, who had her cheese fries in hand.

"I'll have this, please." Hidan then said as he cuddled with Yuki.

"She's soft..." He then let go of her and looked at her throughly "...cute..." and then he suddenly kissed her and just as suddenly broke it. "... and a good kisser." He stated as he was hit over the head by Tsuki.

"SHE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN BUY!! You're going to have to put her back." Tsuki said as she went to another stand to order a slice of pizza. Hidan then whined like a spoiled toddler and put Yuki back where he found her, on the bench, eating her cheese fries. Yuki was still a little creeped out that she was just argued about like she was an item. She then went over to Tobi and offered him some fries.

"You want any?" she asked as he was still a little shocked after eating so many corn dogs

"No, thank you. Why did Hidan and Tsuki just argue over you like you were a toy?" Tobi asked. Yuki just shrugged as she kept eating her cheese fries. Just then, Team seven minus Naruto came around the corner and stopped as soon as they saw a familiar looking person. Sasuke and Sakura were looking at Yuki, as Kakashi was looking at another familiar figure

"O-Obito? Is that you?" Kakashi then went up to them and just stared at Tobi, who was currently mask less because Tsuki turned his mask into a corn dog during the contest. Tobi just gave him a look that said 'I have no idea what your talking about' and slowly tried to hide behind the wolf girl that was next to him.

"Who are these people? Do you know them, Yuki-chan?" Tobi asked as he tried to get away from the inquisitive Kakashi.

"That is Kakashi, the son of the white fang. The pink haired girl is Sakura, the second best medical ninja in the world. She surpassed Tsunade and was her apprentice for over three years. And that Is Sasuke, one of the three survivors of the Uchiha clan. He was the apprentice of the late Orochimaru. All three of these people are very talented ninja, not as talented as they think though." Yuki explained. The three leaf ninja were shocked that she knew so much about each of them. Sakura then caught what Yuki said about her and fumed.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ' SECOND BEST'?! I AM THE BEST MEDIC NIN IN THE WORLD!!" She screamed. Yuki then grinned,

"You are second to my sister, Tsuki. You couldn't beat her even if you sacrificed your life to do it. She is not at my level yet, but no human can even comprehend what kind of stuff she can do. You just don't know about her because of our past. Its surprising that Konoha didn't put us in the BINGO book for what we, or mostly I, did." Yuki stated calmly.

"And what do you mean ' one of the three survivors of the Uchiha clan'? Aren't Itachi and I the only ones left? And what did you do that was so bad that you were erased from history?" Sasuke asked.

"That's for me to know, and for you to struggle to find out." Yuki said as she then pointed to the group.

"I will make a deal, I shall fight your strongest team mates. If I win, you will leave me and Tobi alone. If you win, I will tell you the secret of how I killed Orochimaru without touching him. Do we have a deal?" Yuki said cutely as she watched them all nod 'yes'.

"Sasuke is our strongest team mate, so he shall fight you." Sakura said as she nudged Sasuke. He then stepped forward as everything seemed to conveniently move back to make a battle arena. A small crowd then started to gather around the fight and placed bets, all on Sasuke. Yuki then started skipping around and singing 'I feel pretty' as she looked for some puppets to make a puppet show for the children. Then she found some and started using chakara strings and started playing with them. Sasuke then thought that this was pointless.

"Why aren't you taking this fight seriously? Do you even want to win?" Sasuke then smirked as she skipped over to him and smiled like a child would when you give them a nickel.

"Do you wanna play with me, Sasuke-kun?" Yuki asked like a toddler. Sasuke then noticed that she what she was dressed in. He also noticed that she wasn't wearing a headband.

"Did you even pass the ninja academy?" He asked as she just kept playing with the little kids.

"Actually, I'm only a genin. I can't tell you any more than that, though." she said as she then bounced over to Sasuke and started flirting with him.

"Don't you wanna play, Sasuke-kun? I have a really fun game in mind."Yuki just said as she put her hand on his chest. She moved ever so closely to him and started whispering things to him.

"I know you wanna play with me. Or do you just wanna die now?" she asked in a playful tone that would make any guy in his position would swoon. He tried to keep his cool as he looked down at the girl. He then noticed her attire and that kinda set off a nerve in his head. _'She's just using my male inst- OMG THOSE SHORTS ARE __**SHORT!**_He then saw her bend down to pick up one of the dolls she was playing with before. Its true that your shorts are too short that if you bend down to get something, another person could see A LOT more than they wanted to, but unfortunately, Sasuke wanted to see under those shorts. Yuki knew that her plan was working as she saw Sasuke, and all the other guys there, drool. On the inside, she cringed because he was scoping her out like a piece of meat, but on the outside she was as playful as a puppy. _' Just a little more flirting and he will be play-dough in my hands. YUCK!' _She then bounced over to a now red faced Sasuke and held up the doll.

"Well, do you wanna play with me? I promise it will be fun." She said seductively as he just tried to hold back a massive nosebleed.

"Uhhhhh...w-w-well, b-but, ummm..." Sasuke now had a nosebleed as he saw the girl lean forward to talk to him. He then caught on to her game and took out a kunai.

"D-do you th-thi-think that I a-am tr-tri-tricked so easily?" He shuddered, he didn't want to fight her. She looked so innocent. That was a big mistake, because that was her strategy. First, play. Second, flirt. Third, kill or complete mission, except if she was fighting a girl, then she would skip step two.

_'By the looks of things, my plan is working better than expected' _Yuki said as all the guys watching the fight, including the formally fighting Tobi and Kakashi, were having major nosebleeds. Some were even unconscious from blood loss. _'This is funny' _Yuki thought as she then went up to Sasuke and jabbed him in the neck to make him knock out. Everyone just stared as she picked up his body and gave to Kakashi.

"I win." she smiled and went up to Tobi.

Kakashi stood there shocked that Yuki could defeat Sasuke so easily. "H-how?" He asked, still a little shocked.

"Well you watched didn't you? You know how. Come on Tobi. We should get you a new mask." Yuki pulled Tobi through the crowd, Kakashi gave Sasuke to Sakura and followed them.

Yuki eventually found Tsuki. "Hey, could you make a new mask for Tobi?" She asked.

"Yeah." Tsuki then generated a new mask for Tobi. "I gotta do something now." Tsuki then left to find Hidan, Deidara close behind. Yuki noticed she was being followed by Kakashi.

"Kakashi, will you cut it out? I just want to enjoy the festival. WHY are you following us anyway?" Yuki asked.

Kakashi came out of hiding, and walked toward the two. "I am following you because he is Obito." Kakashi walked in Tobi's direction. "I thought you were dead." Tobi was more than a little creeped out.

"Uhh, okay then? Why are you calling Tobi Obito? Who are you? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM TOBI?! Did Tobi do something wrong? TELL TOBI WHAT HE DID TO DESERVE A WEIRDO FOLLOWING HOM EVERYWHERE!" Tobi freaked out that he had a stalker.

Yuki knew Tobi was really Obito, but Tobi was fine going without that knowledge. She went over to Kakashi to explain a little about the subject. "Kakashi" she whispered to him. "He dosen't remember you, he got caught in that rock slide and lost all memory of anyone he knew and even himself. All he remembered was his jutsu and the fact that he was a ninja. He doesn't even know his own name." Yuki finished.

Kakashi was sad at the fact that his greatest friend did not remember him, but he knew that he was better off not knowing any of that, or at least right now. "Oh..." Kakashi sadly walked away. Sakura had given Kakashi Sasuke and ran up to the pair.

"Great. MORE PEOPLE OUT TO WASTE MY TIME!" Yuki complained as she saw Sakura headed in her direction.

"Hey! Wolf girl! Tell me what you did to Sasuke! And why did you take Naruto?" Sakura demanded.

"Well, I made Sasuke let his guard down and knocked him out, and I took Naruto because it was my mission. If you want him back, here. Have him, but he no longer has the Kyuubi. Also, he has been in Hell for a while, so he may be mentally scarred." Yuki said as she handed Sakura a can. "Open it." Sakura opened the can, and Naruto popped out, just about the size of a thumb.

"Hey! What the heck?! First, I get captured, then spend a week and a half in Hell, and now, I'm thumbelina! WHY?!" Tiny Naruto yell-asked.

"Because that is how life works. DEAL WITH IT!" Yuki yelled. Tobi was being glomped in the backround.

"Take off your mask again!" One fangirl demanded.

"NO!" Tobi panicked. This was again WHY he wore a mask. "Let go of Tobi!" He yelled. Yuki came up and pulled him away from the fangirls.

"Stay at least three feet away or DIE!" Yuki threatened. One of the fangirls was brave enough to go within the three foot boundary, and dropped dead. "Anyone else?" Yuki gave them a look that just dared the girls to come closer. They all moved back. "GOOD!" Yuki then left into the crowd, looking for some more rides.

Tsuki was on the other side of town with Deidara. She spotted Hidan. "Hey Deidara-Danna, you wanna prank Hidan?" Tsuki asked. Deidara nodded. "Okay, just follow my lead." Tsuki then turned both of them into small children that resembled Hidan. Tsuki then walked over to Hidan and pulled at his sleeve.

"Daddy!" Tsuki called with the voice of a toddler. Hidan ignored them at first, but eventually, he noticed that something was pulling his sleeve. "DADDY!" Tsuki persisted.

Hidan turned to see a small girl that resembled him pulling his sleeve, also a little boy that seemed to be the girl's brother. "Daddy! You said that you would get us cotton candy!" the little girl complained.

"Yeah Daddy! You said!" The small boy agreed. Hidan didn't get it at first, but then it hit him.

"I'm not anyone's dad. WHERE DID YOU KIDS COME FROM?!" The girl let go of his sleeve and started fiddling with her fingers.

"Well, you said that when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..." The girl was cut off by Hidan's loud interruption.

"I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS!" He yelled.

"Then why did you ask?" the small girl questioned.

"I didn't mean THAT! I- never mind." Hidna then saw Yuki and Tobi. "Hey Yuki! Get these kids to stay away from me!" Hidan demanded.

"D-does th-that m-m-mean you d-don't lov-ve us an-ny-more, D-d-dad-dy?" The little girl cried. Yuki smirked and took advantage of the situation. She knew it was Tsuki, but it was just too much of an opportunity to mess with Hidan.

"Aww, I didn't know you had kids Hidan! They are so cute! How did you hide them from Leader-san?" She asked.

"NO! They aren't my kids!" Hidan yelled.

"Then how come they look like you, and call you 'Daddy'?" Yuki teased.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Hidan yelled.

"I'm just messing with you." Yuki smiled. Tsuki froze _'She's gonna blow our cover!'_ She thought. "That is just Tsuki and Deidara that are transformed into small children." Tsuki laughed nervously.

"Umm, yeah, about that,..." Tsuki turned Deidara and herself back to normal. "Are you going to hurt me?" Hidan just gave her a look that said ' I'm gonna **pulverize you**!' Tsuki hid behind Deidara. "Please don't hurt me!" She then got an idea, and stood in front of Deidara. "We are not Tsuki and Deidara, we did not do it, we are not here, we do not EXSIST." And with that, they disappeared.

"Where did they go?!" Hidan asked.

Tsuki and Deidara appeared in a void of white space, a few other people were there also. "Where are we, un?" Deidara asked.

"We are in Limbo. This is the place where people go to when they cease to exist." Tsuki stated calmly. Deidara on the other hand, panicked.

"WHAT?! CEASE TO EXIST?! I HAPPEN TO LIKE EXSISTING, UN!" Tsuki grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little.

"Calm down, I can bring us back to existence. Just stay calm." Tsuki then let go. " I got us here by the theory 'I think therefore I am', and combined it with my power to make us nonexistent. I can get us back the same way, except in reverse." They then appeared back in the fair. "See? Now come on! I wanna ride this one!" she ran to a gigantic roller coaster.

"Okay, un." Deidara followed. Yuki, Tobi, and Hidan were on the other side of the fair grounds, looking for a certain ride to go on.

"I told you we would go in the flume after lunch, so its after lunch, and here's the flume. Just let me get us some towels first." And with that Yuki skipped into the closest gift shop and picked up three large towels that had 'TEA COUNTRY FEASTIVAL' printed on them in fancy script.

"Now we can go on the ride, come on guys!" Yuki cheered as she stepped into line. Unlike the other rides, this ride was completely empty, so they got in the first log that came along. After that, the three came out soaked to the bone._ 'YES!'_ Hidan's perverted little mind cheered as a very wet Yuki came off of the ride.

"LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" She shouted and went back into line. Now a crowd of extremely desperate guys were crowding the exit like there was going to be money thrown at them. Then a soaked Yuki came off of the ride and the crowd tried to glomp the life out of the poor wolf girl. Yuki saw why they were trying to get at her. HER SHIRT WAS SOAKED!! _'note to self, one: don't wear white shirt when going to somewhere with water, two: KILL HIDAN!!'_This got Yuki angry, because she HATED being hugged by people that she didn't even know, were old, or smelled funny. And that crowd was full of those kind of people.

"AHHH! HELP!! SOMEBODY!! I DON'T LIKE BEING HUGGED BY CREEPY PEOPLE!!" Yuki apparently forgot that she was the goddess of death at the moment and was panicking. Tobi came to the rescue with one of the towels that she got earlier, and wrapped it around poor Yuki.

"GO AWAY!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO THE POOR GIRL?! LEAVE HER ALONE!!" Tobi yelled at the now said crowd of creepy desperate guys.

"Are you alright, Yuki-chan?" Tobi asked Yuki, who was currently blushing like a mad person, because Tobi was still holding her. Also because all of those scum bags just kinda groped her.

"...where's Hidan-kun?" Yuki asked like she was still shocked.

"Over there, why?" Tobi asked as Yuki went up to him and slapped him harder than thought possible.

"SO THAT'S WHY YOU WANTED TO GO ON THE FLUME SO BAD!! TO JUST LOOK THROUGH MY SHIRT?!? DO YOU WANT ME TO HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE AL GORE?!" Yuki screamed at him. Hidan just sat there, smirking because she was so enraged, she forgot the towel, that Tobi was still holding.

"Ummm, Yuki-chan?" Tobi said, trying to get the girl's attention, but failed. The group of people who were around before were coming back because of this. Then she got attacked for the second time today.

"AHHH!! LET GO OF MY YOU PHYCOS!! I DON'T LIKE YOU PEOPLES!!" Yuki yelled only to get muffled ' I LOVE YOU 's and 'MARRY ME!' s. Tobi then again got her and put her the towel.

"GET AWAY FROM YUKI-CHAN!! WHY ARE YOU GUYS DOING THIS?! GO AWAY ALREADY!!" Tobi yelled at the crowd again as he held a blushing Yuki, again.

"Maybe I should just get a shirt..." Yuki said as she walked into a small shirt store. When she came out, she was in a black overly sized shirt that had the devil's symbol on it. She wrapped the towel around her neck and just looked around.

"We need to find Tsuki and Deidara-Danna. I need to get home so I can change and announce the winner." Yuki said as she walked around and looked for Tsuki. They soon found her and told her what happened.

"...and then a bunch of creepy, in a bad way, guys came up and glomped me, so I had to get this shirt." Yuki finished explaining to Tsuki. Tsuki just looked at Hidan.

"Give me one good reason not to turn you into a very ugly and disfigured homeless person." She threatened Hidan as he tried to run away form the angry girl.

"ISITMYFAULTHTATYOUTWOAREVERYYHOTANDIWANTEDTOGETSOMEACTION?!" Hidan scream-asked really fast so that she might not hear the last part. But they heard it loud and clear.

"THAT'S IT!! YOUR GOING DOWN!! STRAIGHT DOWN TO MY PERSONAL TORTURE CHAMBER!! THIRTEEN DAYS OF TORTURE BY NONE OTHER THAN SASORI AND MYSELF!!" Yuki yelled. After she was done yelling, Hidan't body dropped on the ground. Yuki carried his body back to the base. After that, she immediately went to her torture chamber and called Sasori in to 'do his worst' while he had a picture of a creepy old naked dude right in front of his face and he couldn't close his eyes for ten days. When Sasori asked why, she just said that he did unspeakable things. As soon as she left, Yuki went to go find Tobi.

"Tobi-kun? Where are you?" Yuki said as she searched the living room. She went into the kitchen and decided to make dinner while she was there. She didn't want another incident to happen. After she made some leek soup and broiled lobster tails, enough for the whole group, except for Kisame who just ate some steak.

Yuki decided that Sasori should eat his food right in front of him, because apparently Hidan really liked her cooking. She carried all of the food to the table and called everyone to dinner, and brought some food to Sasori and told him what to do with it. She then sat down and ate her food quietly. Everybody else was wondering why Hidan wasn't at the table. Dinner was his favorite time of the day because of the food. After dinner, Tsuki washed the dishes while Yuki went up to Tobi's room. He started eating in his room and not showing his face because of the incident at the fair.

"Tobi-kun? Are you in here?" Yuki asked as she knocked on the door. She had changed to her normal clothes, so she wasn't wet anymore. Tobi then answered the door with his mask on, and dirty dishes in hand.

"Oops! Sorry, Yuki-chan. What do you need to talk about?" Tobi asked as he handed Tsuki the dishes to wash. Yuki Then took out a fancy tray and some really good looking deserts. She handed Tobi a spoon and one of the cold plates, as she served the rest out at the table.

"Eat in the kitchen with me. I want to talk with you." Yuki happily said as she came back in. She leaned on the counter as she ate the desert.

"Do you like it? It's something I picked up in while I was visiting the Waterfall village. Its basically a slice of vanilla cake, with pices of fresh fruit, and a homemade cage made of frozen caramel with whipped cream on top! It only takes minuets if you make the cake ahead of time." Yuki said as she ate a part of the cage.

"Tobi loves it Yuki-chan!! Its almost as good as your waffles!" Tobi then thought about something "Why did you want to talk to Tobi?" He asked as he ate a chunk of fruit. Yuki just blushed and put her plate down on the counter.

"Well, umm, I just kinda wanted to tell you that you, umm, won." Yuki said as she then ate her cake like she was the hungriest person alive. Tobi just ate his cake calmly, but his mind was racing. He was really happy that got the girl that he wanted. More than happy, he was ecstatic! As soon as Yuki finished her plate, she was glomped by Tobi.

"Yay! Tobi won!" He cheered after he got off of her. He then raced off to pack up his stuff so he could move in with Yuki. Yuki was glad she made arrangements ahead and made a very nice guest bedroom in her castle in Hell. He would have to stay there until they got used to having each other around. Yuki decided to go help him out.

"Yuki, why is Tobi packing up everything in his room, un?" Deidara asked. Its not like he didn't want Tobi to go somewhere, He was just slightly curious.

"Tobi won, so he needs to move in to hell with me." Yuki said. Deidara just looked at her strangely.

"Yah, I know that, but why in hell? Can't you move into a normal room with him?" Deidara was almost scared of what answer he would get.

"One, I am the goddess of death. If he doesn't want to move in, its okay with me. Apparently you've never seen my palace. Two, nobody can hear you scream in hell" Yuki said the last part evilly. Deidara just looked at her like she was crazy as she walked away. Deidara then found Tobi struggling with all the stuff he had and decided to help.

"Need a hand, un?" He asked. Tobi then handed him two suitcases. They started walking toward the center of hell, which is a very long walk.

"Ugh, when are we going to get to this 'palace' that Yuki was talking about? I'm tired, un." Deidara complained as he took out a clay bird to carry the stuff.

"We're almost there, Deidara-Danna, see?" Tobi said as he pointed to a close by castle that looked more regal than Buckingham palace. It was a red and white palace that was extremely detailed and looked like it was the most prestigious place in th world.

"Wow! Yuki lives here?! Is that why you wanted to move in with her, un!?" Deidara shouted as Tobi just nodded and opened the door. They were greeted by a bunch of little demons who stopped what they were doing and looked at the pair. They all smiled evilly and started greeting Tobi.

"Hello, That Guy, welcome to the palace of the goddess of death, Yuki-chan. She told me to give you this." The little guy said as he handed Tobi a note. It said

_'Dear Tobi,_

_Sorry that I'm not there to help you, I had to get stuff ready for breakfast tomorrow. I had my servants make all the furniture in the guest bedroom, you will have to stay there until you get used to everything around here. Its the room next to mine, incase you get scared, unless you are used to hearing screams during the night. I'll meet you soon. _

_Yuki,_

_P.S. Get used to being called 'That Guy' for a little while. They also might try to creep you out.'_

"Okay, we have to find Yuki's room, un. How are we going to do that?" Deidara asked.

"Tobi knows where it is." Tobi then set off in the direction of Yuki's room. It was a long, merciless journey to Yuki's room because the servants were trying to poke the life out of the two guys walking down the halls.

"Okay, just down this hall." Tobi found Yuki's room, and there was a door right beside hers that had that said 'That Guy's Room' printed on it.

"This place is evil." Tobi said as he opened the door. On the inside of the room, it looked extremely luxurious. Except for the fact that everything was BRIGHT PINK. Tobi and Deidara gaped at the oh-so-pinkness of the room. Just then, Yuki came by.

"Hi guys! Do you li-" Yuki then joined them and gaped at the pink room. She asked the little servants to design it with the color theme that her room had, but they couldn't even do that right.

"...guys, I told you to design with the color design that I had in my room. YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT?! THAT'S IT! NO TWINKIES FOR A WEEK!! I'm so sorry Tobi. You will just have to stay in my room. I hope you won't mind. AND I WANT MY LITTLE PRANKSTERS TO FIX THIS MESS RIGHT AWAY!" Yuki said as she opened the door to her room. Deidara then gaped in marvel of the beautiful room.

"Tobi, you get to stay here, un?" Deidara asked as he gathered some of the stuff off of his clay bird.

"Yep! Tobi's going to like it here!" Tobi cheered as he started to put his stuff away. Deidara came inside and looked at all the detail that was put into each item. He then noticed something on top of the vanity. It was a very thick book that had a mark sticking out of the top. The book was all black and only had the words 'Glass by Ellen Hopkins' written in shiny purple on the spine.

"What's this, un?" he said as he picked up the book and started to read it. It was a book full of poetry about a girl who made some bad choices in life and ended up having a baby because of it. He really liked the book, but it was taken away and put back into Yuki's massive bookshelf that was filled with books. All were either really happy or sad books that she liked to read in her spare time. She then took out another black book written by the same author that had white letters on the cover that said 'Crank' and handed it to Deidara.

"Glass is the sequel to Crank. Here, you can borrow my copy." Yuki said as she handed Deidara the very thick book. Deidara then put the book in his secret pocket. A question popped into his mind.

"How early do you get up to be able to get to the kitchen so early, un? I mean, that was one heck of a walk to get here, un." Deidara asked.

"Well, I have a motorcycle that I keep either at the entrance of hell, or at the front doors of my palace. It is a really nice bike. It takes me a few minutes to get to the door in the hideout from here." Yuki explained. "I can have a bike like it made for Tobi." Yuki then pulled out a cellphone and called Tsuki. "Hey, could you come over here? I kinda need you to redecorate Tobi's room. I would also like it if you would please make another one of those motorcycles for Tobi. Thanks!" Yuki pocketed her phone and turned to the two guys. "Well Tobi, I hope you like it here! We should probably wait for Tsuki at the front doors." Yuki then walked out of the room and down the long halls, Deidara and Tobi close behind.

After about three minutes of walking, the trio found their way to the front doors. They saw Tsuki already there with two motorcycles. One was her own while the other was for Tobi. "Okay guys! I got Tobi's bike, and I would have to check out Tobi's room to fix it. Anything else?" Tsuki asked.

"Just take Deidara back to the hideout, I will take Tobi back later. You can also work on Tobi's room later, or tomorrow. Bye!" Yuki waved as Tsuki Pulled Deidara onto the back of her motorcycle, and drove off. Tobi decided to get a better look at his new motorcycle. It looked expensive and sturdy, its paint job was basically orange with black flames. It looked like it could be driven on all terrain, but was still compact.

"This is one of the things Tsuki likes to do in her spare time. She likes to make things, and she always puts a good amount of effort into her work. She sometimes spends hours just fine tuning small details. Since it was your bike, I think she just went on the basic body and a quick paint job You can get her to change it to your liking later though." Yuki explaind. "I had her work for three hours just getting it to the exact way I wanted, and still have her work out some of the other stuff when it needs repair, or I want a different design on it." Yuki finished.

"Cool! You mean that this is Tobi's?! Its awesome!" Tobi said as he admired that motorcycle.

"Come on Tobi. I need to show you around, but you'll need to stay with me for a little while because of what my little pranksters did." Yuki said as she opened the front door. She then showed Tobi where everything was. The castle had ten bedrooms, but none had a lot of furniture, eight bathrooms, a very large and in-stock kitchen, a working area for the demons and wolves, and a very large and nicely furnished living room. Yuki then lead Tobi back to her room so that he could unpack.

"This palace is beautiful, Yuki-chan. Tobi really doesn't like the way the little people treat him, though." Tobi said as he finished putting away some of his stuff. Yuki just went up to him and hugged him.

"Its okay if they don't like you at first, you ARE in hell now. You can't expect everyone to be nice to you when they first see you." Yuki smiled and lead the way to the main entrance of the palace.

"You do know how to ride a motorcycle, right?" Yuki asked as she saw Tobi trying to turn his on.

"Ummm, no?" Tobi then got off of his bike and tried to turn it on another way. Yuki just giggled and dragged him onto the back of her bike.

"I'll teach you tomorrow, right now I need to get something from Tsuki." Yuki then started her motorcycle and drove off in the direction of the entrance of the Akatsuki base. She then went into Tsuki's room, where they found her working on a elaborate ring. Soon she finished and gave the two rings to Yuki.

"What did Yuki-chan need to pick up that was so important?" Tobi asked as he saw her hide the rings in her pocket.

"Never you mind!" Yuki said as she made her way back to the palace.

"Make yourself at home! Hope you like it here. I'm going to go shower." Yuki said as she went upstairs to her room. Tobi started wandering around and found a lot of stuff inside the palace. He eventually ended up in a room that looked like a throne room. It was big and had a statue of Yuki sitting on the throne wearing a regal dress and robes that looked beautiful as they laid on her shoulders. The statue also had a very pretty tiara on top of its head. It looked beautiful on the red velvet throne._ 'Wow, I wonder why she didn't show this to Tobi before. Its beautiful, almost as beautiful as her.' _

"That statue is one of the things I keep locked up, how did you get in here?" Tobi looked up and saw a wet Yuki wrapped in a towel.

"This is part of my closet, and this is my regal robes. I wear them on special occasions. I hate them because they are too warm." Yuki smiled. "I need to get you a set of regal robes soon. How else would you be excepted as my mate? That's why we had to pick up something from Tsuki, I needed to get us some rings to show that you're my boyfriend." Yuki explained.

"Ummm, Yuki-chan, would you please get some clothes on?" Tobi awkwardly asked as Yuki kept walking past him.

"I was doing just that, but I found you looking at my regal clothes." Yuki smiled "Besides, if your going to be walking around in my closet, your going to have to get used to it. Besides my normal clothes, this is where I keep all my other clothes." Yuki said as she went into a room with a sliding paper door, and closed the door behind her.

"I'm having your stuff made as we speak. I still need to get Tsuki to fix your room so that everything isn't pink. I swear, sometimes those little gremlins go too far!" Yuki said as she came out in pajamas.

"Come on Tobi, you need to shower before going to bed. It's almost eleven thirty and I want to get some sleep. You probably won't get much sleep because of the torture chambers. But you need to at least try to sleep." Yuki said as she opened a door that led to her room. Tobi grabbed his towel, toothbrush,and pajamas and walked into the biggest bathroom he's ever seen.

"There's shampoo and conditioner in the medicine cabinet. Its not scented, so don't worry about smelling like flowers for a week. There's also some spare soap in the top drawer." Yuki said through the door. _'Great,Tobi guesses that He'll have to take cold showers until his room is fixed'_ Tobi thought as he walked over to the shower. After he was done, he got dry and dressed into his pajamas and sat down next to Yuki, who was reading one of her books. He poked her in the side of the head to get her attention.

"Oh, hi Tobi-kun!" Yuki greeted and put her book down. Tobi played with his fingers and laughed nervously.

"Ummm, where is Tobi going to sleep?" Tobi asked as Yuki put her book away. Yuki just smiled and looked back at him.

"You have two choices, sleep on the floor, but I don't suggest that because the floors are marble, or sleep in the bed with me. I don't mind either way." Yuki said as she sat down on the bed with Tobi.

"Tobi guesses he'll sleep in the bed, Yuki-chan doesn't mind, right?" Tobi asked. Yuki just nodded and got into the over sized bed. Tobi then got into the bed with Yuki.

"Good night, Tobi-kun" Yuki said before going into a deep sleep. Tobi just snuggled up with Yuki and took off his mask.

"Good night, Yuki-chan." He whispered to her before finding out what she was talking about. He heard a blood curling scream and some evil laughter. He tried getting as close as possible with the wolf girl like a toddler and its teddy bear that helped him get over lighting at night. He tried to sleep, but wasn't used to hearing screaming at night like Yuki was. Apparently she was a heavy sleeper because she didn't notice that Tobi was hugging the life out of her. She started mumbling in her sleep, so Tobi loosened his grip on her to hear what she was saying. Tobi didn't know that she talked in her sleep, but neither did she.

"The tuna fish are stealing my piccolos...stop them..." She whispered. Tobi just wondered what she was dreaming about to actually talk about that. Then she started sing-mumbling things.

"If I had a hammer...I'd hammer in the morning..." She was starting to creep Tobi out, so he tried to wake her up.

"Yuki-chan." He said. But then he just got a response that sounded like 'minty fish toothpaste' and something really shocking.

"I wuvses my Tobi-kun..." She said as she cuddled closer to Tobi. Tobi was shocked to say the least. He didn't know if it was the strange dream that was talking or actually her. Then he remembered hearing that if you ask a question to a person who talks in their sleep while sleeping, they will answer truthfully.

"Does Yuki-chan love Tobi?" He asked to get something that was muffeled because her face was in one of the pillows. When she shifted to face him, he asked again.

"Does Yuki-chan love Tobi?" He asked. She looked like a fallen angel to him because of the glow of fire coming from the window. She then moved slightly.

"Of course Yuki-chan wuvses her Tobi-kun...she...wuvses...Tobi..." Yuki said as she snuggled even closer to Tobi. _'Tobi knew it!' _Tobi thought as he started hugging her again. They both felt secure and warm. It was a perfect moment, despite Yuki's excessive rambling about 'the spaghetti monster attacking her magical flying ponies' and 'French toast belongs to my dog' and his personal favorite to listen to her talk about 'You didn't kill Kenny, I killed him along with all of his little froggie friends.'

Yuki was a really, and by heavy, I mean HEAVY, sleeper. If someone blew a blow horn in her ear while she was sleeping, she wouldn't notice a thing. But there was one problem, Yuki tended to hug things while she was sleeping. Usually, she would hug her quilts or pillows, but right now she was attached to Tobi. (A/N:Nikki-chan does that while she is sleeping. Its also really hard to wake her up.) Not that Tobi minded much. But things started to get weirder as Yuki fell deeper into sleep.

"...I am the marshmallow queen...bow down to my queenlyness...you shall be my toothpick servant...together we shall make the tastiest smore alive..." Yuki rambled. Then, a little wolf came into the room to wake up its master. It jumped on the bed and started digging into her side, but she wouldn't budge.

"Yuki-chan! Wake up! Its time to make breakfast for the Akatsuki!" Tobi tried to shake her off, but it only got worse because she just flopped on top of Tobi like he was a mattress. Tobi then got an idea.

"Yuki-chan!! The french toast people are trying to kidnap the royal chicken wing!!" Tobi just meshed some stuff that he heard her talk about while she was sleeping and put it into sentence form. Just then, Yuki woke up.

"huh? Tobi, you no make no sense." Yuki said. She then realized their position and immediately jumped off of Tobi.

"I'm sooo sorry Tobi-kun!! Wait, what happened while I was sleeping? And why are you blushing?" Yuki then looked down and saw that her pajama shorts were missing, and showing her 'I'm eviler than you' underwhere. (A/N: Those would be some awesome panties)

"Oh..." she then blushed.

"Now I'm really wondering, do I want to know what happened last night?" Yuki started to worry about the answer she might get.

"Yuki-chan was right, Tobi couldn't sleep lash night, so Tobi just and Yuki-chan stayed in bed all night, and then Yuki-chan started rabbling on about...weird things...in her sleep. Yuki-chan also likes to hug things in her sleep."Tobi expalined.

"Oh, sorry about that. We should get dressed, and I'll meet you at the front door to head back to the base." Yuki walked over to her dresser where she put her everyday clothes, and pulled out an outfit. She then went over to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth and all that jazz...

After Yuki went into the bathroom, Tobi went over to another dresser where he had unpacked and pulled out a set of his clothes. Tobi quickly changed and put on his mask. Tobi then left for the front door and found Yuki was already waiting for him "How did Yuki-chan get here so fast?" Tobi asked.

"There are shortcuts throughout the castle. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier." Yuki hopped onto her motorcycle.

Tobi stood there. "Umm, Yuki-chan? Tobi still doesn't know how to ride a motorcycle." Yuki blushed a little before quickly instructing Tobi on how to ride his motorcycle.

"Okay! Now let's head off." Yuki and Tobi started off in the direction of the base. After a few minutes, they found the door and parked their bikes near the door.

A question popped into Tobi's mind. "Why doesn't Tsuki live with Yuki-chan in the castle?" He asked.

"Well," Yuki started "She doesn't like the screaming and the concept of living in hell. She is more into the stars. She also is a very religious Christian , though it doesn't make any sense that she could be religious because she is always looking to science and mathematics for answers. She doesn't believe people have a destiny or any reason to live, but she prays to god and makes sure not to sin. She isn't really open about it though. That may be the reason she despises Hidan, besides from the fact that he is a total pervert." Yuki concluded.

Then, Yuki went off subject all of a sudden. "I wonder who invented nachos. They are just bits of tortillas that someone let bake in the sun too long with cheese slathered on top of them. It is actually kind of weird someone would eat that without knowing if it was delicious or poisonous. But then again, maybe they were food deprived." Yuki wondered as she flipped some eggs.

Today for breakfast, Yuki had prepared toast, eggs, ham, and assorted jams. She also taken out a pitcher of orange juice and a carton of milk so people could serve their own drinks. It looked a lot like a small breakfast buffet. Soon, all of the Akatsuki were in the kitchen picking out what they were going to eat.

After everyone got their morning coffee, small conversations were made over breakfast.

After everyone had finished breakfast, they left the kitchen. Today, we will follow Zetzu. Zetzu walked out of the kitchen to see Kisame and Itachi sitting on the couch, Tsuki standing beside them. Zetzu had nothing better to do, so he joined the other two Akatsuki on the couch. Tsuki began to talk to Kisame.

"Hey fishey-chan. What do you think would happen if you were just a regular human instead of a shark-guy?" Tsuki asked.

Kismae wasn't listening at any point beyond the name 'fishy-chan' "Would you stop calling me that?! I'm not a damn girl!" Kisame yelled at Tsuki.

"I could fix that." Tsuki said evilly. Just then, Kisame felt weird and passed out for a few minutes. When he woke up, Kisame noticed that he was a little shorter than before. He inspected his person for any injury and found that it was more feminine, and that he had curves and breasts.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!" He, now she, demanded in a more girlie voice.

"I made you a human of the female variety. I didn't change the fact that you are fish like though." Tsuki explained. "I think you look nice as a girl. So much so that I'll keep you this way!"

Kisame paled. She really didn't want to be a girl, but it seemed he had no choice. When Tsuki had made up her mind, it was almost impossible to change it. Besides if her sister argued with her, but Kismae doubted Yuki would be too much help with this. "Damn it!" Kisame swore.

"Now now, Kisame-chan. Don't swear. It's un-ladylike." Tsuki scolded.

"DO YOU THINK I CARE?! I JUST GOT TURNED INTO A FUCKING GIRL!" Kismae ranted about not wanting to be a girl, but Tsuki had tuned him out and left.

Itachi, who was still on the couch, just stared blankly at his newly reformed partner. It's not that he didn't like the change, no, it was that he liked it a little too much. Kismae caught him staring and got even angrier then she already was.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?! HUH PUNK?!" Kisame roared. Itachi decided it was not a good idea to stay around, and left for his room. Zetzu had already left. That left Kismae all alone. She sighed "I better go ask Yuki how to handle this." She left to find Yuki.

It turned out that Yuki was in the karaoke bar, on the stage. She was singing with no audience, a drink in hand.

**I took her out,**

**It was a Friday night,**

**I wore cologne, **

**to get the feeling right,**

**We started making out and she took off my pants,**

**But then I turned on the TV,**

**And that's about the time that she walked away from me,**

**Nobody likes you when your 23,**

**And are still more amused by TV shows,**

**What the hell is ADD?**

**My friends say I should act my age,**

**What's my age again?**

**What's my age again?**

**Then later on, on the drive home,**

**I called her mom from a pay phone,**

**I said I was the cops,**

**And your husband's in jail,**

**This state looks down on sodomy,**

**And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me,**

**Nobody likes you when your 23,**

**And you still act like you're in Freshman year,**

**What the hell is wrong with me?**

**My friends say I should act my age**

**What's my age again?**

**What's my age again?**

**That's about the time she broke up with me,**

**No one should take themselves so seriously, **

**With many years ahead to fall in line,**

**Why would you wish that on me?**

**I never want to act my age,**

**What's my age again?**

**What's my age again?**

Kisame into the room at the end of the song and sat down, waiting for her to finish. Yuki then noticed her and went up to the blue girl, knowing that it was Kisame.

"What happened to you? Did you get Tsuki-chan angry?" Yuki asked. Kisame just shrugged. Yuki then got a feeling where this was going and sat down.

"What do you wanna talk about?" Yuki asked with an apologetic tone. Kisame just shrank down in her chair and mumbled.

"What? I couldn't hear you."Yuki said. Apparently, Kisame was embarrassed to ask something, she just sat there and mumbled. Yuki knew what she wanted to talk about, and sighed as she started to talk.

"Okay, I know what you need to talk about. I will warn you, if you have a weak stomach, you might not like what you are about hear..." Yuki began. Kisame's face flushed, he knew female hygiene was a really dirty subject, but never imagined that it was so bad that it needed a warning beforehand.

"Soon, you will start thinking differently and feeling different too. You will need to start wearing bras and different under where too. Unfortunately, there's a down side to the glory of being a woman, called a period. Trust me, they can either be so light that you don't even feel them, or so heavy that you are crawling around in pain while drenched in your own blood. Its not fun, believe me, it happened to me once..." Yuki said without faltering. Kisame, on the other hand, was blushing up a storm and thinking about how bad her period will be. "...that's why there are two options, pads and tampons. Tampons are a little painful, especially if your a virgin, but are easier to move around with and you can do sports. Pads are more comfortable, but aren't very good for training or doing other stuff because they slide around a lot." Yuki saw how uncomfortable Kisame was and took advantage of the situation.

"Oh, and to use a tampon, you need to take it out of its package and stick it up your..." Yuki was interupted by a screaming Kisame.

"LALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING LALALALALA..." Kisame screamed as she ran out of the bar and into the bathroom to sulk about the fact that she would have to stick something in her...'private' place every month.

"I don't wanna be a girl, I don't wanna be a girl..." Itachi then came into the bathroom,hearing someone crying and to tell them to get out of his bathroom. When he found a pretty crying blue girl in there, he just went up to her and gawked.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ITACHI-SAN?! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS RIGHT NOW?!" Kisame screeched. Itachi then got a perverted idea. _' I like this chick. She has a good rack, nice ass, and can stand her own in a fight. I wonder if she's good in bed.'_ He thought completely forgetting the fact that this was his partner. He just went up and sat down next to her. He actually looked like he cared about something.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Itachi asked. Kisame just looked up at him with wide eyes. _'So this is why all the girls are after him. He's friggin SMEXY!' _Kisame then got up and asked Itachi if he would go on a walk with her. They walked around the base and smelled something sweet coming from the kitchen. They walked in and saw something they wish they didn't walk in on. It was Yuki showing Tobi how to frost a cake the right way, so she was behind him, holding his hands, and gently moving the frosting bag into beautiful patterns.

"...and the rose goes here...good! Your doing great, now here's the hard part, doing the edge...not too much force..." and with that, Tobi's hand slipped and frosting went everywhere. Kisame and Yuki ended up laughing so hard they were rolling on the floor. Tobi was embarrassed, and Itachi was just standing there.

Yuki got an evil idea that would make Kisame stop laughing. "Oh! It's okay Tobi. Let me help you with all that icing." Yuki walked over to Tobi and dragged him to another room. "We wouldn't want to waste all that icing, now would we? I have the_ perfect_ idea of how to use it."

Kisame immediately got the message and froze._ 'BAD MENTAL IMAGES!' _She felt her face heat up with embarrassment. "Ahhh! My innocent mind! It has been tainted!" Kisame ran out of the room, flailing and screaming something about never having sex again.

Itachi mentally cursed, this would make it harder to seduce the pretty fish-woman that had interested him so. '_Yuki just HAD to ruin my plans now didn't she? Oh well, it is only a matter of time until Kisame falls for me.' _Itachi smirked as he walked away.

In the bar, Yuki had pushed Tobi onto a table and had taken off his cloak. Tobi was at a loss at what Yuki was going to do, but it got him away from anyone who would laugh at him, so he was okay.

Yuki threw her shirt to the ground after taking off her cloak. She then took some icing and spread it over her shoulder. "Tobi," Yuki called lustfully "You want some icing? Well go ahead and have some." Yuki offered as she leaned towards Tobi.

Tobi took off his mask and began to lick the icing off of Yuki's shoulders. Yuki leaned into the feeling of Tobi's tongue on her skin. She felt him sucking on her skin to get all the icing off and she moaned.

"Tobi! That f-feels..." Yuki didn't finish because someone had wandered into the bar. It was poor Kisame.

"MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL EYES!" Kisame yelled. Zetzu walked over to see what she was yelling about.

"**Will you shu-**" Zetzu saw what had set off Kisame. He just watched as if it was free porn. **"Ooooh. Please continue, this is getting good." **Zetzu's evil side encouraged. He pulled up a chair and watched.

Kisame punched Zetzu. "ARE YOU INSANE?! THE'RE HAVING SEX!" Kisame shouted.

"**That's the point!" **Zetzu shouted. Kisame noticed that the white side of Zetzu was not objecting to this.

"Hey, what does your white side say about this?" She asked.

"Not caring. Besides, it is just an instinct that all humans have. It just _happens_ to be entertaining." Zetzu's white side stated.

Kisame's jaw dropped. "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I'M OUTTA HERE!" Kisame then stormed out of the bar.

Yuki noticed that they now had an audience. "Come on Tobi, just to torture Zetzu, we will finish this in Hell." Yuki pulled Tobi along into Hell and drove off.

Zetzu died a little inside. He never got to see the rest of his free porn.** "NOOOOOOOOO!"** Zetzu yelled. "WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL?!" Zetzu cried.

Back in Yuki's room in hell...

"Okay Tobi. You want some more icing?" Yuki asked seductively as she shed her bra and spread more of the sweet substance over her body. She made sure to cover her bust with a generous amount of the icing. Tobi nodded and pinned Yuki to the bed.

He licked the icing off and Yuki was luvin' it. She began to run her fingers over Tobi's abs under his shirt. Yuki then pulled off Tobi's shirt and ran over each muscle, memorizing the feel of his body.

Yuki felt that it was time to turn up the heat, and she spread icing down her stomach. "Tobi, if you want more, you have to do something for me first." Yuki then began to lower her pants a little. "Come on, I know you want to." Yuki purred. Tobi just licked up the icing down to her waist. He didn't care about the icing anymore, he just wanted to have that incredible feeling again.

Tobi then began to undo Yuki's pants and threw them across the room. Her underwear immediately followed. He then began to lick Yuki like he did before. Yuki just moaned as Tobi dove his tongue into her, and tried to find a certain spot. Once he found it, Yuki then suddenly switched positions with Tobi.

"By the time I'm done, you'll be thanking god that nobody can hear you in hell." Yuki whispered as she started to trail the sweet icing down his stomach. Yuki then slowly started to lick the icing off of Tobi. Tobi knew what she was about to do, and he liked it. Yuki then got rid of his pants and boxers, and stared at him. She then started to lick at the head of him. Tobi moaned as Yuki slowly tortured and teased him. Then she started to move down and suck harder. Tobi started to pant harder, he knew that he was coming, but couldn't speak. Yuki decided to tease him even more and easily got him entirely into her mouth. Tobi screamed out her name as he came into her mouth. Yuki quickly swallowed it all and then let go.

"Tobi-kun is a good boy." Yuki purred as she then switched their positions again. Tobi quickly took advantage of this and kissed Yuki passionately. He then positioned himself at her entrance, and slowly went inside her. He knew that she wasn't a virgin anymore, but felt that pounding her into the bed wasn't necessary. Tobi then started to thrust in and out of her, getting into his own rhythm, and every time he hit her spot.

"To-bi...f-faster" Yuki pleaded. Tobi quickened his pace and Yuki bucked as Tobi thrust into her. Forcing him deeper into her core. Yuki was at her peak, she could feel herself climax and she screamed out "TOBI!!". Tobi was coming close too, and thrust one more time before pulling out and coming all over the bedsheets.

The lovers lay on the bed panting. Tobi wrapped his arms around Yuki as they drifted off to sleep. Yuki had already fallen into deep sleep and began mumbling. "The evil mayonnaise...they want to take my toothpick...away." Yuki hugged Tobi close to her body. "I won't... let...them."

That night, Tobi slept MUCH better than the night before. For one thing, his love was holding him tight. Tobi was also too tired to stay up long enough to listen to the dreaded screams.

In the morning, Yuki found herself stuck to Tobi, and carefully pried herself off of him to take a shower. She eventually got loose and headed for the shower.

After Yuki left, Tobi felt a cold spot where there used to be warmth. He awoke and found Yuki was not there. He heard the shower going and decided to take a shower himself. He got an idea and walked over to the shower and walked in on Yuki, who didn't notice he was there.

Tobi opened the shower curtains and poked Yuki. The unsuspecting wolf girl was a little startled at first, but when she turned and saw Tobi, she calmed down. "You wanna take a shower too, Tobi?" Yuki asked as she wrapped her arms around Tobi's neck. Yuki stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. The only reason she had to stand on her tiptoes is although she was abnormally tall, Tobi was just so much abnormally _taller_. Yuki grabbed the shampoo and lathered it into Tobi's hair. "Well, you can shower with me." Yuki made sure to wash Tobi well. Tobi also washed Yuki very thoroughly.

The two finished washing each other and stepped out of the shower. They got dressed and made their way downstairs. They made it back to base and parked their motorcycles. Kisame was wandering the halls and saw them. "Oh my god." She then ran to her room and locked herself inside. "I can't believe you guys did that! Go away!" Kisame shouted. Yuki just smirked as she walked into the kitchen.

"We are allowed to act like a couple, aren't we? I mean, if she loved someone this much, she would do the same thing." Yuki complained.

Tobi came from behind Yuki and hugged her. "She's just jealous." Tobi stated.

Yuki giggled. "whatever. No matter how much Kisame complains, we're still gonna do stuff." Yuki said as she prepared some French toast. Then, Tsuki walked in.

"I heard what you did to poor Kisame-chan. Why did you mentally scar her?" She asked. "Well, you can tell me later. I gotta tell you something. You see, I was working on a project to bring a fish to life, and I got a pulse! The real trick is to keep it going, but I got it! The thing is, it won't DO anything. It just sits there. I guess I would have to do more studying on the brain of the fish to get it to function properly." Tsuki grabbed a cup of coffee. "How was your day yesterday?" Tsuki shouldn't have asked that.

"Tobi and I had a great time last night with the extra icing. We had to take it back to Hell because Zetzu wanted to watch." Yuki said. Tsuki got what she meant and almost choked on her coffee.

"I didn't know you did THAT! I just thought you gave Kisame too much detail on that talk! GOD why did you have to tell me that?!" Tsuki ranted.

"Well, you ASKED. So I told you." Yuki stated. Tsuki quieted and finished her coffee.

Soon, all the Akatsuki were in the kitchen and Yuki had finished preparing breakfast. She served the French toast and began eating. Soon, every one had finished and Tsuki did the dishes. Everyone else was doing their own stuff. Deidara was finding clay for his next mission, Zetsu was person hunting, Leader was doing leader-ish stuff, Kakuzu was counting money, Hidan was watching the specter vision, Itachi was trying to make Kisame feel better, and Tobi and Yuki couldn't be found.

Tsuki decided to go to the karaoke bar to sing and drink since she had nothing better to do, besides work on her fish, but that could wait. Tsuki quickly made her way down to the bar and drank for a while. They always say 'Don't drink before 5 o' clock', but Tsuki could care less.

Soon, Tsuki was drunk and walked onto stage. She turned on one of her songs and began to sing. She loved this song. It had a soft melody that she liked, and she liked how the lyrics told a sad story. It was kinda sappy, but she liked it anyway. It was also kinda old, but she could care less.

**Starry, starry night**

**Paint my pallet blue and grey**

**Look out on a summers day**

**With eyes that see the darkness in my soul**

**Shadows on the hills**

**Sketch the trees and the daffodils**

**Catch the breeze and the winter chills**

**With colors on the snowy linen land**

**Now I understand**

**What you tried to say to me**

**How you suffered for your sanity**

**How you tried to set them free**

**They would not listen, they did not know how**

**Perhaps they'll listen now**

**Starry, starry night **

**Flaming flowers that brightly blaze**

**Swirling clouds in violet haze**

**Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue**

**Colors changing hue**

**Morning field of amber grain**

**Weathered faces lined in pain**

**Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand**

**Now I understand**

**What you tried to say to me**

**How you suffered for your sanity**

**How you tried to set them free**

**They would not listen, they did not know how**

**Perhaps they'll listen now**

**For they could not love you **

**But still your love was true **

**And when no hope was left in sight on that starry starry night**

**You took your life like lovers often do **

**But I could've told you, Vincent**

**This world was never meant for one as beautiful **

**As you**

**Starry, starry night**

**Portraits hung in empty halls**

**Frame less head on nameless walls**

**With eyes that watch the world and can't forget**

**Like the strangers that you've met**

**The ragged men in ragged clothes**

**The silver thorn of bloody rose**

**Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow**

**Now I think I know**

**What you tried to say to me**

**How you suffered for your sanity **

**How you tried to set them free**

**They would not listen**

**They're not listening still**

**Perhaps they never will**

Tsuki took another sip of her drink. She loved to sing and she loved that song. She decided to sing a few more songs. The time flew by as it seemed to stand still in Tsuki's little bubble of music. Before she knew it, it was nine. She had missed dinner. Tsuki didn't care, she just left for her room and slept 'till the morning woke her from her blissful paradise of dreams.

&&&&&&

Yayz! This is the longest Chappie I ever wrote! In only three days too! Well, I didn't want to keep writing forever on this chapter, So I ended it here. I swear if I wrote another scentance, this would be another two or three pages. Well, see ya! Oh! And REVIEW! Byez!


	14. Today, we eat doughnuts!

Yayzes! I don't own naruto or any other stuff that might end up in th story somehow, except Yuki and Tsuki. They are mine. If you try to argue with these facts, I shall defy this, I shall have Jariya come up to you and force you to read Icha-Icha paradise.

Itachi- That's my favorite book series. Its so...addicting.

HappyEmoPuppies- So your saying your a hard core porn addict.

Itachi- ye- I mean- NO! Its not porn, its pictures and stories about very interesting things.

'Lil miss lazy- A.K.A porn

Itachi- what are you getting at? I'm not a porn addict.

Tsuki- then how come you keep pictures of Kisame while she's showering under your mattress?

Itachi- HOW DID YOU FIND THOSE?!

Tsuki and Yuki- SO YOU ADMIT IT! WAIT TILL WE TELL KISAME-CHAN!!

Itachi- noooooo dooooooooon't!

All the girls- THEN SHUT UP!!

Itachi leaves

on with the chappie

&&&&&&

Later that week, after Yuki tortured Kisame, and Tsuki found the secret of making the fish actually DO something, the girls were bored out of their minds. Hidan was let out three days ago, Deidara and Tobi were on a mission, and nobody else was there.

"Tsuki-chan, what do you wanna do?"Yuki asked

"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Tsuki went on.

After a while of doing that, they started annoying each other and stopped. Then they realized that they weren't alone. Zetsu was in the room, watering his deadly man eating plants. They took notice of this and crept up on him.

"HI ZETSU-SAN!!" The girls shouted. This really surprised him, how was he supposed to know that they would come behind him and scream. Tsuki then did something really evil. Zetsu passed out for a little while and felt different. He then looked up and noticed another person laying next to him. After a little while he found that Tsuki changed him into...

"**OMFG!! WHY DID YOU TURN ME INTO A GIRL?!**" The second person yelled. Both Zetsus were disturbed by what had just happened. Then they also noticed that they were both humans, really hot humans. The evil Zetsu was really well tanned, tall, and had red-ish eyes and short dark green hair. The good Zetsu was short, really pale like she was never out in the sun, had hazel eyes, and had long light green hair. (A/N: apparently, evil people have dark hair and are abnormally taller than good people in this story) The four didn't notice the other two people in the room.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO FUCKING CRAZY CHICKS DO TO ZETSU?!" Hidan scream-asked. Kakuzu just stared at the good Zetsu like she was some kind of god. He then disregarded that the tiny girl was a part of Zetsu. He walked up to her and just kinda looked at her, sweating up a storm and glowing bright red.

"Ummm, h-h-hi, I'm Kaku-" Kakuzu was interrupted by the tiny girl who just finished his sentence like she knew him her entire life

"Kakusu of the evil organization, Akatsuki, loves money and has a crush on the two wolf girls, Yuki and Tsuki. Has a fetish with abnormal human traits, like weird hair colors, or mutations. Spends most of his time in his roo-" Then Kakusu put his hand over her mouth and pushed her against the wall.

"How do you know all that stuff about me?" Kakuzu asked, still ignoring the fact that shej was part of Zetsu.

"I HAVE BEEN LIVING HERE A VERY LONG TIME, SO I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS. Except for Yuki and Tsuki, who just moved here a couple months ago. I'M ZETSU YOU MORON!!" Good Zetsu yelled at Kakuzu, who FINALY got it.

"Ooooooooh. Sorry, Zetsu-san. I didn't know that you would be so pretty if you were a human girl."Kakusu flirted. The tiny girl blushed bright red. Kakuzu liked the fact that he was on top of a pretty girl, and she was just dressed in a shredded Akatsuki cloak.(Shreded because the cloak ripped in half whenthey became two people. DEAL WITH IT!!) And than the girl was almost helpless without her evil half.

With evil Zetsu, Hidan was kinda already making out with her and it was getting a little too graphic to write about. It looked like a game of 'who could get the other horny first' and they were kinda tied. They finally broke apart and ran into Hidan's bedroom. Soon after that, many strange noises came from the room. Everybody else just stared, because all that happened within TWO MINUETS!! Just then, two figures came through the door, tired and clothing full of blood. The two girls smiled and glomped the two figures.

"TOBI-KUN!!!" Yuki yelped happily. She was glad he came back from a dangerous mission without being shredded into nothing.

"DEIDARA-SAN!!" Tuki then got the other figure pinned down to the floor. She was really happy that he made it back too.

Tobi and Deidara then asked the girls to get off so that they can shower and get some rest. Deidara headed off to his room, while Tobi headed off to Yuki's room in hell. They decided that Tobi didn't need a separate room since he was used to things around the castle. The henchmen even started calling him 'Tobi-sama' instead of 'That Guy'. Yuki followed Tobi and offered to drive. She knew that he must be exhausted and needed to rest. Tsuki just sat on the couch and watched the stupid box. She then started singing because she was...

"Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody, for my own, OOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNN!!" She then noticed that there was yet ANOTHER person in the room. It was Leader, hiding under a small box that didn't even cover his head, that had the words 'I AM INVISABLE' printed on it with orange marker. Tsuki was wondering WHY was he hiding in a very BAD hiding place, when all her answers came storming into the room.

"PEIN!! WHERE'S MY CHOCOLATE, DAMMIT!! I TOLD YOU THAT I ONLY HAD TWO POUNDS LEFT AND THAT ONLY LAST ME ABOUT THREE MINUETS!!!"Konan screamed at the top of her lungs.

Tsuki just watched as Konan rampaged while looking for leader when he was in the absolute WORST hiding spot EVER. Dark Zetzu walked in with White Zetzu close behind. "PEIN! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?! I NEED MY CHOCOLATE DAMNIT!"

Dark Zetzu smirked as she pulled out a bar of dark chocolate. "I have some chocolate!" Konan grabbed the chocolate and bit into it. She immediately spit it out.

"THIS IS DARK CHOCOLATE!" Konan screamed. White Zetzu appeared behind Konan.

"I have white chocolate. Is that okay?" She asked. Konan sighed and shook her head.

" I need milk chocolate. It is the best!" Tsuki walked over with a ton of milk chocolate.

"I have some milk chocolate. But if you want it..." Tsuki threw the chocolate out the window. "You're gonna have to get it!" Tsuki giggled as she watched Konan jump out the window.

Pein had seen the whole thing and was furious. "WHY DID YOU MAKE KONAN JUMP OUT THE WINDOW?!" Pein yell-asked.

"Well technically I didn't MAKE Konan jump out the window, She was just so eager to get some chocolate." Tsuki was close to getting away, but a drugged-up Tobi and Yuki crashed into the room.

Tsuki saw the two mercilessly kicking the other people out of the room. "YOU'RE NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY!" Tsuki saw them turn to her and she started praying to whatever got there might have been to save her. She was lucky that day because someone must have been listening. "Tsuki! You're invited to the party!" Yuki cheered.

Out of nowhere, a disco ball started spinning above them and a DJ appeared, playing fast paced hip-hop music. Yuki then got a drunken idea. "LET'S PLAY STRIP POKER!" Yuki pulled out a deck of cards and sat in a semi-circle with Tobi and a broom.

Tsuki hesitantly sat in the circle. "Whats with the broom?" She asked.

"He's not a broom! He's Dei-kun silly!" Yuki then dealt the cards.

It was a good thing Tsuki was good at poker and she was still fully clothed while the other two were almost naked. This wasn't so great once Deidara walked into the room. Yuki ran up to him. "YOU'RE NO INVITED TO THE PARTY!" Yuki screamed as she shoved Deidara out of the room.

Deidara really didn't like the close contact with the almost naked girl as she pushed him away. Yuki then left to go back to the room and caught Tsuki trying to escape. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE THE PARTY! IT IS FORBIDDEN BY THE LAWS OF ME!" Yuki yelled as evil lightning flashed in the back round.

In the back of the room, Tobi watched his mate yelling at her sister and decided it was smexy. He stumbled over to where the two girls where. "MINE!" Tobi then glomped Yuki to the ground and removed what little clothing they had left on.

"Tobi! You're such a good boy!" Yuki began to flirt with the drunken male. In the back round, Tsuki was almost thankful that the crazy drugged up couple had been distracted. She somehow felt that this would come back to haunt her, but right now, she just wanted to get out of there.Just then, the Akatsuki thought it was lunch time, so they went the only way that they could get into the kitchen, through the living room (which they were apparently were in). Yuki and Tobi saw all of the people and sorta started up with flamethrowers and kicked out the members while screaming "YOUR NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY! GO AWAY!!"

About fifteen minuets later, the akatsuki were eating hamburgers in the meeting room,

"Okay, WHO thought it was a good idea to give Tobi and Yuki drugs, sake, and I think coffee at the SAME TIME?!" Leader yell-asked. Hesitantly, Dark Zetsu raised her hand along with Hidan.

"Now, I understand Zetsu, but YOU Hidan?! Did you see what they are doing in there?! IF THEY HAD COFFEE AND DRUGS AT THE SAME TIME, THEY SOULD BE AT IT FOR DAYS AND THE T.V. REPAIR MAN IS COMING LATER TODAY!! If you want to see any of your shows ever again, I suggest that you get them back into hell. Or into a different room. As long as the repair guy guy doesn't see them. They might kick him out of 'the party' as well." Leader reasoned. The rest of the Akatsuki gasped, the spectervision was the center of what they did when not out on missions.

"Since this is their fault, I suggest that you get them back into hell. NOW!!" Leader commanded. Zetsu (Dark) and Hidan grumbled as they set off on their new mission.

"How are we supposed to break those two horny-crazy-people apart?"Zetsu complained (Dark)

"How the hell am I supposed to know? If we even think about going near their little 'party' they might turn us into dog food. We need to somehow get invited into the 'party' and push the said 'party' into hell. Now, how are we going to do this?" Hidan thought rather logically. He must REALLY want the T.V. fixed if he was actually thinking on that level. Zetsu (dark, ya know what? I think you get the gist of it) then shoved him onto the wall and made out with him. Just then she made Hidan really drunk and stumbled onto the scene. They were so wickedly weird that they both, somehow, got invited into the party. After some espresso and vodka, Hidan and Zetsu shoved them into hell and locked the room. They heard a DJ going and some loud shouts and laughter.

"Wow, those two are probably having the biggest party this side of the Nile river." Hidan said in a weird accent. (OMG!! HE'S A HILL-BILL!! RUUUUN, FORREST, RUUUUUUUUUUN!!) Just then the music stopped and the demons carried Yuki and Tobi off to the palace. After that, those two were on a two day binge of the 'please touch me there' game, drugged up and caffinated edition! Now that the Akatsuki got rid of those two, it was actually peaceful for a little while. Meanwhile, off in Konoha, Sasuke felt something twitch in the back of his mind. _'Somebody is reviving the Uchiha clan. How did Itachi get a girlfriend?!' _Sasuke then ran off in the direction of the Akatsuki hideout. After a little while, he ACTUALLY found it and stormed inside.

"OKAY ITACHI!! HOW DID YOU GET A GIRLFRIEND?! THAT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE!!" Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs. Itachi turned to see his little brother standing in the doorway of the hideout.

"How did you find the hideout?" Itachi asked, completely ignoring Sasuke's question.

"IT DOSEN'T MATTER! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DESTROY THE UCHIHA!" Sasuki accused.

"I did." Itachi continued wonder how Sasuke had found the hideout.

"Well, if you don't have a girlfriend, did you rape someone and get her pregnant?" Sasuke asked. "Shame on you. That is disrespectful and wrong." Sasuki scolded. "And I know it wasn't me because I wouldn't do anything of that sort to a woman."

Deidara walked into the room. "Is it her?" Sasuke asked.

Deidara was mad. "I'M NOT A WOMAN UN!" He yelled.

"Yeah? And what if I don't believe you? How do I know you're not a girl?" Sasuke asked. Tsuki stormed into the room after hearing the fight.

"BECAUSE HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!" Tsuki then dragged Deidara out of the room so if she exploded on Sasuke, Deidara would not suffer.

"Since when was I your boyfriend, un?" Deidara asked.

"SINCE I SAID SO!" Tsuki was going to definitely explode if she didn't find something to take out her anger on.

Tsuki then stormed back into the room. "WHY DID YOU CALL DEIDARA-DANNA A GIRL?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!" Tsuki scream-asked.

"Because I want to see Itachi's girlfriend. Don't say he doesn't have one because there is no other way he could revive our clan." Sasuke explained. "Unless he raped someone. If it was that, shame on you Itachi." (a/n: Well SOMEONE seems a little over using the rape option, AREN'T WE? looks at Sasuke suspiciously)

"Well it's not him. There is a third surviving Uchiha, and I know it is the third. Not either of you." Tsuki said.

The Zetzus walked into the room. "Might it be either of them?"

"No."

Kisame walked into the room with Konan. "How 'bout them?"

"Nope. But The fish looking one is 'Tachi-san's girlfriend."

Itachi paled. "How did you know that?!"

"Girls gossip." Tsuki then heard someone else walk down the hall. It was Yuki who had a massive hangover form the drinking and drugs and caffeine.

"Is it her?" Sasuke asked. He then recognized her. "Hey! You're the crazy lady from the festival!"

Yuki smacked Sasuke. "KEEP IT DOWN!" Yuki yelled.

"Hippocrates." Sasuke muttered. Yuki then walked into the kitchen and pulled out hot peppers and chocolate. She melted the chocolate and dipped the peppers in the chocolate and began to eat like there was no tomorrow, but she hadn't eaten in two days, so who could blame her? It was actually typical for Yuki to eat that. She had eaten peppers since she was a baby.

"Yuki is the one who is reviving the Uchiha. The only mystery is the guy who is with her. Even that is easy. It's Tobi." Tsuki explained."I know. I asked Dave. He knows all and never lies." Just after Tsuki said that, a mysterious voice filled the room.

_Know your Uchihas_

_Know your Uchihas_

_Know your Uchihas_

"What is that? Where is that coming from?" Sasuke asked.

_Sasuke Uchiha_

"Yes?"

_Wishes Orochimaru was still alive so he could have butt sex with him!_

"No I don't!" Sasuke defended.

"Dave never lies." Tsuki was a little creeped out at the fact that Sasuke enjoyed having sex with the same gender. Tsuki didn't like homosexuals.

_Sasuke Uchiha_

"Don't even!" Sasuke fumed.

_Copied Naruto's sexy no jutsu and had sex with every boy in the Leaf!_

"GRAWR! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD?! I HAVE TO TEAR HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!" Sasuke rampaged. Tsuki smacked him.

"Calm down! Oh, and don't swear!" Tsuki yelled.

_Now you know..._

_Sasuke Uchiha_

"No they don't!"

_**Yes they do**_

"Hey Dave! I gotta ask you something to prove a point." Tsuki said.

_Okay_

"Who is reviving the Uchiha with Yuki?"

_**TOBI**_

"See? Told you." Tsuki stated smugly.

"But neither of them is of Uchiha blood." Sasuke siad.

_WRONG! _

"So if Yuki is of the Rosanjin clan, it is Tobi who is the Uchiha." Tsuki reasoned.

_CORRECT! YOU WIN A MUFFIN!_

A muffin then appeared in Tsuki's awaiting hands. "Yay!" she then ate the delicious muffin.

Sasuke was furious at the fact that his prestigious clan would be turned into crazy people. "MY CLAN WILL NOT BE REVIVED AS CRAZY USELESS MORONS!" Sasuke charged with his katana towards where Yuki was.

"Hold on! Get near her and you instantly die! That will give you less of a chance to redeem your clan by at least having a sane branch!" Tsuki tried to get him to calm down.

Sasuke froze. "You're right. I need to stay alive to bring dignity back to my clan." Sasuke then began to re sheathe his weapon. "I'm gone." Sasuke left.

"Finally! He's gone!" Tsuki cheered. "I better tell Leader-san about this though." Tsuki then set off to find Pein.

Pein was in his office when he heard a knock on the door. "Enter." He called.

Tsuki appeared before the leader and bowed. "Leader-sama. I have come to ask, why haven't we taken over the world yet? With our power, you could easily take all the hidden villages." Tsuki suggested.

"We are waiting for the right time. That would be in about two months. Why do you ask?"

"Because we don't have to wait. I could teleport all the Kages to the hideout and demand surrender or their ninja will be killed off starting with the most powerful until the last standing ninja. Then on to the villagers. They will surrender for the sake of the villagers and we will rule! I seriously don't know why we didn't do that in the first place, but now is the time to act." Tsuki said.

"You will not order the Leader! This plan is effective though. Have all Kages to the hideout meeting room." Tsuki smirked and walked off to the meeting room where she teleported the Kages to the meeting room.

"Welcome to the Akatsuki hideout!" Tsuki cheered. "Now! Surrender! If you don't surrender by the end of the next minute, you're ninja and villagers will be killed off one by one, starting with the strongest and the richest. One person will die every ten seconds you waste sitting there." Tsuki stated. "Any questions?"

Tsunade, Leaf village Hokage, immediately surrendered. She knew that Tsuki was being completely serious. "I surrender." Tsunade announced. She turned to the rest of the Kages. "You should also surrender. They have the goddess of death on their side. Your people will be killed without anyone even touching them. Even the most powerful."

"Good girl! You will be let off to be a civilian under our rule! Any other takers?" Tsuki asked.

The Raikage didn't think that Tsuki was really going to kill off the villages. "Pushover." Tsuki heard this and turned the Raikage into a nice china teapot.

"Anyone else doubt the power of the Rosanjin sisters?!" Tsuki yelled evilly. She gave them a look that just DARED someone to make another stupid remark.

The rest of the Kages decicded they would rather be ruled by the Akatsuki than be turned into a tea set and just have the village taken over anyway. They surrendered except for Kazekage, Gaara.

"People will start dying soon, what do you say, Kazekage-sama?" Tsuki asked. She really didn't want to kill anyone, but she would have to if Gaara did not surrender soon. "Please. I don't want to kill anyone. Just surrender and I will let everyone live." Tsuki pleaded. Time was ticking and Gaara just sat there. "Fine...time's up." Tsuki teleported Temari into the room.

"The deaths will begin." Temari began to run short of breath and began to cough. Gaara could just barely stand to watch as his sister died before him. "You can still save her if you surrender. If not, there will be many more deaths. Until the whole village is wiped out." Tsuki stated.

Temari was about to collapse from lack of air. "Okay, just let her go." Gaara finally caved.

"Good." Temari fell to her knees gasping for breath, before passing out on the floor. "Leader-sama, all Kages have surrendered to your rule." Tsuki bowed in respect. Tsuki then walked over to Pein. "Also, Yuki has become pregnant. This is the reason of my urgency. If we had waited any longer than a few weeks, we would have an extremely hormonal crazy lady on our hands. What will we do now that you rule all ninja nations?" Tsuki asked.

"We will deal with that later. What we will do with the countries is we will divide the Akastsuki with one pair to rule each major country, and then all the rulers of the countries will be ruled by me." Pein explained. "Any trouble will be quickly eliminated, or sent to me to handle. The pairing system should work better than just one Kage, because there are two people to discuss the matters of the villages." Pein stated.

"That is a good strategy. Since all the people are under one rule, there will be no war." Tsuki said. Tsuki never liked war anyway. She didn't like killing people or really hurting people either. It was really because she believed that if she hurt someone, they would try hurt her or dislike her greatly. But people who deserved it should just accept their fate.

"We will begin planning tomorrow for the devision of land between the Akatsuki. I want you to send a message to the ninja villages to inform them they will be under the rule of Akatsuki." Pein siad.

"Should I send the two Zetzus out too? It would be faster." Tsuki asked.

"Okay. The three of you will be sent out three days from now. By then the plans will be made out. We had some previous plans, so we just need to do a little revision to the plans. You are dismissed."

"Hai, Leader-sama." Tsuki then bowed and left Pein to inform the other members of Akatsuki. She found them hanging out in the living room. "Hey guys! We rule the world now!" Tsuki cheered.

"Well that was fast." Kakuzu stated.

"Yeah, but I had a plan to get all the Kages to surrender to Leader-san." Tsuki said as she sat next to her sister who was drawing some chibi in a notebook. It happened to be a picture of Yuki and Tobi in a field of flowers playing whack-a-mole. As to why, I don't even know.

"Oh! That reminds me! Yuki, has Itachi been kind enough to tell you why Sasuke was over today?" Tsuki asked.

Yuki shook her head as she continued her chibi. "Well, he somehow has a sense that tells him someone was reviving the Uchiha and came here to interrogate Itachi-"

"Did Itachi get Kisame-chan knocked up?" Yuki asked.

"No. It was Tobi who got you. Tobi is really an Uchiha and now, you are the person reviving the Uchihas." Tsuki was unsure how Yuki would react, and for a while, Yuki just sat there. "Yuki-chan?" Tsuki called.

Yuki turned to Itachi. "You didn't tell me this SOONER?!" She looked about ready to strangle the Weasel man.

"Calm down Yuki! You just need some nachos." Tsuki pulled out some nachos and handed them to Yuki.

"Yay! Nachos!" And Yuki devoured the poor nachos and left nothing in a matter of 26.7 seconds. And that was a big tray of the nachos.

"Okay, now tomorrow we have been requested to Leader-san's office to discuss the plans for rule. Three days from now, the Zetzus and I will go out to inform all villages of the surrender of the Kages. More will be explained at the meeting tomorrow." The majority of the Akatsuki left. The only ones still in the living room were Yuki and Tsuki.

"Yuki" Tsuki called.

"Yeah?" Yuki asked.

"What is it about sex that you do it all the time? Is it really all that good?" Tsuki asked.

"I can't explain that one. It is like a whole new experience. It hurts the first time but only for a minute. After that, it's amazing..." Yuki went off daydreaming about the wonderful experiences she had shared with Tobi.

"**ooooookay then. I gotta go, you just need to stay away from any danger, and rest. Oh yeah, when I come back, remind me to go to 'hot topic' when we get back. 'Tachi needs more nail polish or else he'll explode." Tsuki said as she got her weapons and cloak on. (A/N: don't own hot topic)**

"**You don't have to lecture me on how to be pregnant and healthy. I can handle mysel-" And with that, Yuki ran away looking like she was about to barf. Tobi then ran into the room panicking.**

"**OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!" He screamed as he went around and destroyed everything in his path. Tsuki guessed that somebody told him about Yuki and tried to calm him down.**

"**Its okay Tobi, stop rampaging and talk to me, what's wrong?" Tsuki asked. Tobi then calmed down a bit and sat down.**

"**Where's Yuki? Does she know? Is she okay?" Tobi started an endless ring of questions. **

"**She's in the bathroom, barfing, she knows, and is PREGNANT! She definantly handled this better than you, now CALM DOWN!! gosh..." Tsuki yelled. Tobi than ran to the closest bathroom that he could find and found Yuki on the floor, hair messed up, and kinda trembling. Tobi helped her up and took her back to their room in hell. Once there, she was sleeping, so he cleaned her up, as in he changed her into her pajamas, washed her face off, and got her hair back into its normal shape. He then put her into the large bed and turned off the light as he left.**

"**What's wrong, Tobi-sama?" asked one of the little wolves. **

"**Tobi's going to be a daddy, and he's confused." Tobi said as he walked off. Lets just say, in about three seconds, all of hell knew about their goddess, even the oh-so-responsible Sasori.**

"**Great! I don't like kids first off, and now I'll have to deal with a bunch of overly-powerful brats that I'm not even allowed to torture!" Sasori shouted at absolutely nobody. Back at the base, Leader was walking around in an Elvis suit because Yuki demanded him to and it was even funnier because he was singing old hits of the king of rock. Pein was really enjoying himself.**

"**Shweet! How did you get him to do this, Yuki-niisan?" Tsuki watched in amusement as Leader was preforming on stage. Yuki was just sitting there with her fish heads and cheesecake surprise, munching down like it was going to set of fire (A/N: ITS LIQUID FIRE!! AHHHH!!) any second. Now, Tsuki understood the weird food cravings, but that was just ridiculous! Who would actually eat that stuff? (HappyEmoPuppies: ((slowly raises hand)) Lil' Miss Lazy: PUT YOUR HAND DOWN RIGHT NOW!!) **

"**I don't know, I just told him to dress up like Elvis, and he did it! Cool huh?" Yuki said as she shoveled down more disgusting food stuffs. **

"**And WHY ARE YOU EVEN EATING THAT!? ITS GROSS!" Tsuki yelled at her sister. Yuki just shrugged it off and kept eating. After a few weeks, Yuki started getting a little pudgy. The worst part is that the more pregnant she got, the weirder she got, along with the food she ate. One day, she was in the bathroom with a bad case of morning sickness, when Sasori barged in. **

"**I UNDERSTAND THE MATING FOR LIFE THING, BUT WHY HAVE KIDS!?" Sasori was furious that she was even considering kids, let alone actually pregnant. Then he realized that she wasn't responding, so he checked on her in the bathroom and found her passed out. **

"**This is another reason pregnancy should be avoided at all times..." Sasori sighed as he lifted her. Even though she was a few weeks pregnant, she was still pretty much in shape, and nobody knew why. He called Tobi to come and change her because she was covered in vomit and water. Tobi immediately burst into the room.**

"**Wow, Tobi knew that morning sickness could be bad, but this is the third time this week that Yuki-chan passed out." Despite Tobi's cheerful tone, he was really worried about the baby's health. _'What if the baby is pushing on some of her organs or something...' _Tobi thought as he washed the spit and water off of her and changed her clothing into pajamas. Sasori was waiting outside of the room because he wanted to talk to Tobi. Just then, he heard strange noises, like a young girl who was talking to her best friend about...popcorn batter is giving away free water batons? _'What the HELL are those two doing in there?!' _Sasori wondered as he peeked into the room, and saw Tobi laying Yuki down onto the overly sized bed, tucking her in, and she was mumbling in her sleep.**

"**What's up with her?" Sasori whispered, so not to wake Yuki. Tobi just turned around.**

"**She talks in her sleep. Mostly about weird stuff too, not surprising since we ARE talking about Yuki." Tobi said in a normal voice. "She's also a REALLY heavy sleeper." Sasori got the gist of it and stopped whispering.**

"**Tobi, I know that you're going to be a dad soon, so..." Sasori grudgingly tried to find the words he wanted to say "...congratulations..." Tobi was really happy that Sasori actually said that to him, but he was still confused. He did love Yuki, but he didn't think that he would make a good father. **

"**Yeah, thanks, but Tobi doesn't know what to do. Who would tell them the right choices? What if we mess up? 'Cause you know that neither of us would be good disciplinarians, and who would take care of them if someone succeeds Yuki-chan?" Tobi held his head "Its just so frustrating! Taking care of Yuki when she passes out, making sure that she doesn't take any missions, which is really hard. The list goes on." Tobi said as he talked to Sasori. Sasori didn't know that Tobi was going under so much stress.**

"**Just another reason to avoid pregnancy. Its the damnation of this wrenched, and already over populated, world." Sasori stated. "I need to get to work now, good luck Tobi." And with that, Sasori walked off. After a few hours, Yuki woke up and walked to her personal kitchen. She was hungry for some tuna-pudding casserole and would make some from scratch if she needed to. After another hour, Yuki was eating contently in her living room, reading some of her favorite books, with headphones around her tummy. She turned up the Mozart and rubbed her stomach.**

"**Mommy wuvses you baby. She won't ever hurt you." Yuki said as she laid down onto one of the fluffy couches. Tobi was watching in the background, now he knew that Yuki really loved him and the thing that was growing inside of her. (A/N: WHY AM I WRITING MUSHY GUSHY STUFF?!) Then the moment was spoiled by one of the biggest wolves, who picked her up and brought her over to Tobi's hiding spot.**

"**Please take Yuki-sama to the master's quarters. She would be much more comfortable there than on one of those couches." The wolf said as Tobi picked up Yuki. **

"**Thank you." Tobi stated as he walked up to their room. He really was confused now. But that's an entirely different story involving how Yuki earned the loyalty of her subjects. Just before he opened the door to the master bedroom, Yuki shot up and ran into the bathroom. She threw up, and came out shaking and red-eyed. (blood shot, not drugs) She then cleaned herself up and went to see what time it was. Near midnight, so she just sat on the edge of the bed.**

"**You should get some sleep too Tobi, I feel sorry for being such a big burden. I hate being the center of attention. Oh, that reminds me, we got your formal clothes today. Just look in the closet and you'll find a statue of you in fancy clothes next to mine. Its not prissy or anything, so don't be skirmish when you see them. They actually look really nice. We also have to go to a ceremony in January. It estates you as an official citizen of hell and my mate." Yuki said as he got changed and sat down next to her on the bed. **

"**Okay. Tobi loves Yuki-chan. Good night." Tobi said sleepily. **

"**Love you too, night." and with that, those two were sleeping like a bunch of toddlers who were awake for three days and then saw Al Gore's movie. (A/N:HappyEmoPuppies: that movie would put anybody to sleep. I know, I had to watch it in Geo. Class in seventh grade with Miss.Wagner. It SUCKED!!) The next morning, Tobi woke up to a crazy Yuki, she was running around and screaming something about 'OMG! THE PANCAKES ARE REVOLTING!' or something. Tobi just got up, and then she stopped. She gave him a deranged look like a diseased squirrel would look at a ping-pong ball. **

"**Ummm, Yuki-chan?" Tobi asked, a little scared by what might happen. Then he felt something hugging him. He looked down and saw Yuki, crying and looking like she just saw something so scary that it even scared death (no friggin' DUH!) **

"**Yuki is scared! Stop them Tobi-kun!! they want to take away the fried paint brush! Without it, the kingdom of cabbage would cease to sell apple fridders!!" Yuki rambled. Honestly, Tobi had no idea what she was talking about, so he looked out the window and saw the biggest angry mob he's ever seen being held off by the castle guards. Now, the issue at hand, they need to get out of the palace right now. But Tobi still didn't know why there was a mob outside the castle, and he knew that he wouldn't get an answer that made sense until she calmed down a little. Then, Yuki grabbed his arm and pulled him to the library that apparently was a secret tunnel to the Akatsuki hideout. After a half hour of walking, they finally got into the base. Yuki took out some eggs and made a simple breakfast because she usually cooked by taste, but can't because of the weird impulse to put something just plain weird into the mixture. After about ten minuets, breakfast was done, the Akatsuki was eating, and Yuki had actually calmed down enough to actually talk about what was going on before without going on about aliens trying to make their pumpkin go in marijuana or something. **

"**The majority of the citizens of hell are opposed to royalty. They like me because I'm a good ruler, but they also don't like the idea of pregnancy, well actually they don't like successful births because it means 'more backtalk' when they get older and die. That's what they think will happen with my child or children, but they would be immortal because I'm the goddess of death. Then some are actually opposed to children under any circumstances. I swear, politics can be so challenging. Some are one way, and others are the other way, when you need to go a certain direction." Yuki sighed as she finished her breakfast. After that, The group decided that they were so bored that they were going to watch the stupid box. Yuki was still hungry, and she was too lazy to get up, so she got an idea.**

"**Hey, 'Tachi, make me some flan." Yuki commanded. Everyone else, besides Tsuki, gasped. Itachi then appeared out of thin air. He actually looked happy. Really happy. **

"**YES!! SOMEBODY WILL FINALY EAT MY COOKING!!" He shouted triumphantly. He then pranced over to the kitchen and put on his special 'Prettier than you' apron. Then several strange noises and smells were started coming from the kitchen.**

"**Nobody has ever eaten Itachi's flan and come out the same." Leader said while still in shock. Yuki just shrugged.**

"**I want flan, 'Tachi is making some for me, and I'm too lazy to get up right now." Yuki stated. Itachi then came out of the kitchen with the biggest flan that anybody has ever seen.**

"**Here you go! Tell m-" and with that, it was gone. Yuki then looked like she was high.**

"**Pretty colors..." She stated. Tobi was panicking because having a high pregnant woman was a VERY bad thing. It could hurt the baby, ect... and now everyone else was hoping that she would get her normal morning sickness soon so that the junk she just ate would get out of her system. Soon after she was done looking at the pretty colors, she got up and ran like she was going to be eaten by a eggplant. Then everyone heard somebody throwing up, then a big THUMP come from the bathroom.**

"**WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER ITACHI?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HER OR HARM THE BABY?!" Tsuki shouted. Itachi just sighed and sat down. He wanted to be a better cook, but was too cool to let anyone help him or teach him how. He even tried using his sharingan on Yuki while she was cooking a couple times before she was pregnant, but was always caught by Tobi or Tsuki thinking that he was trying to look through her clothes or something. Of course he already did that to the two girls during meetings, but then he got bored and tried to copy her chief skills. **

"**I'll go get her..." Itachi said like he was genuinely sorry for almost harming her. Itachi picked up Yuki, then brought her to her door. Just as he was about to open the door to hell, Tobi came up to him and stopped him.**

"**The citizens of hell are revolting, its not a good idea to put her in there right now." Tobi said like it was the scariest thing he ever said.**

"**Then what am I supposed to do with her?" Itachi asked. **

"**Tobi still has some stuff in his room. She could stay there until she wakes up." Tobi then took the unconscious Yuki and took her across the hall to his room. Itachi followed for some reason, only to witness Tobi change her and wipe the spit off her face. Tobi didn't know that he was in the room, because apparently, his room had its own personal emo corner, where Itachi was conveniently located. Tobi tucked Yuki into the small bed, then took off his mask and kissed her on the forehead.**

"**I love you, Yuki-chan." Tobi said in a deeper voice. Then he took out a book and started reading for a while. This kinda shocked Itachi, because of three things. One, Tobi wasn't talking in third person. Two, his voice was slightly deeper. And three, how does he even know how to READ!? Especially a book that thick. Then, Itachi noticed a reddish glow coming from Tobi's eyes. _'how did he acquire the sharingan!? I guess Dave was right, there is a third Uchiha member, but if I knew his real name, I could maybe know a little more about 'Tobi' and why he isn't dead like the rest of them besides Sasuke and I'_ Itachi thought. Then, Tobi noticed Itachi and put his book away.**

"**So, you now know about my 'little secret' that got me into the Akatsuki instead of being Zetsu's meal." Tobi said evilly " But the real question is, do you know who I am. I'll let you think about that for a while." Tobi then put on his mask and skipped off. Itachi knew that nobody would believe him about Tobi, except for Zetsu(s), Leader, and maybe the girls, but those people would be hard to get any information from. Zetsu(s) would either eat him or run away, Leader wouldn't even listen to him, Yuki would either retort smartly like 'I don't know, who are YOU?!' or protect his identity as best as she could by giving not enough information about him to actually get somewhere. Tsuki would be the easiest to get the info he needed off of._ 'Grrrreat! I need to suck up to a complete psycho!'_ Itachi retorted in his head. Now, he felt a little creeped out about this little situation. **

**Later that day, Itachi went up to Tsuki and started sucking up to her immediately.**

"**Want some chocolate?" Itachi asked Tsuki just looked at him smiling like she was up to something.**

"**Nope!" She replied happily. Itachi then thought for a moment.**

"**You wanna peanut butter cookie?" Itachi was desperate for some answers and Tsuki was just preventing this.**

"**Not if its from you!" Tsuki squealed. Itachi was getting fed up with this game quickly.**

"**That's messed up!" Itachi yelled. Tsuki just smiled her 'I-know-what-you-don't' smile and kept doing what she was doing before...wait, what was she doing before? Itachi tried to look over her shoulder, but got slapped and yelled at.**

"**YOUR NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY!!" Tsuki screamed. This got Itachi really got curious. _'What the HELL IS THIS CRAZY PERSON DOING!? I NEED TO KNOW 'CAUSE I'M USUALY INVITED TO ALL THE PARTIES!! I'M TOO SMEXY TO BE KICKED OUT!!'_ Itachi's mind screamed. **

"**Fine, but will you do me a favor?" Itachi was hopeful that she would actually do something for him insteade of just asking unanswerable questions like 'I will if you tell me why light has energy if it doesn't have mass.' or something. (yes, Einstein was wrong about EMc2)**

"**Fine, I will if you give me some orange juice..." Tsuki said, immediately Itachi got her a gallon of juice.**

"**...from France." Tsuki finished. Itachi then got really frustrated and teleported to the fanciest country in the world. He waited for hours in a French grocery store just for a jug of 'Le French Orange' Tang Juices ( now with 90 more water, 40 more price!) When Itachi got back, Tsuki drank all the juice in one gulp.**

"**YUMMY!! Okay, now what do you need?" Tsuki said. Itachi's plan was coming together quite smoothly.**

"**I need information on who Tobi really is. I saw him earlier and he was acting all...different." Itachi stated. Tsuki paled, she knew everything about who 'Tobi' really was, but she didn't want to tell this fluffy fruit cake the history of the Akatsuki. She sighed.**

"**Do I have to?" Tsuki whined like a toddler. Itachi just nodded an affirmative answer.**

"**Fine, hold in to your underpants, because what I'm about to tell you is going to blow the crap out of you." Tsuki said. Itachi was really interested in what info he might get on Tobi's past.**

"**Tobi really is..." Tsuki paused for dramatic effect.**

"**...an Uchiha." Tsuki stopped as she saw Itachi then got really frustrated and started wheezing because he was expecting info on the subject Tobi. (NNNNEEEEERRRRDDDD!!!) Itachi then went on trying to spy on Tobi while he wasn't in hell**

**A few months later...**

**Yuki had gained some serious poundage and now had a big tummy like a pregnant woman who was more than nine months pregnant should. Itachi steered clear of Tobi, and Tobi was busy trying to keep up with Yuki's demands and weirdness. He also had to make sure that she didn't eat any of Itachi's cooking so that she wouldn't get food poisoning. Tsuki and Deidara got closer, and actually started acting like a bf&gf should. Leader was eating a gigantic crate of dough nuts the whole time and was started getting really fat, and Konan was busy actually doing the sorting for the village take over.**

"**Okay, now here are the villages and their leaders. The system is based on pairs because two heads are better than one..." The fat leader commanded. "...now, Tobi and Yuki will keep track of fire. Deidara and Tsuki will take Iwa. Kakuzu and Hidan will take Snow. The two Zetsus will take grass. And Itachi and Kisame will take mist. Any questions?" The pudgy leader asked as he reached for another dough nut. Yuki raised her hand.**

"**Yes, Yuki?" Leader asked as he kept eating his deep fried goodness.**

"**What country will you be commanding?" Yuki asked.**

"**The headquarters of the whole Akatsuki will be located in Rain village. Konan and I will operate there. We will also be taking care of the smaller villages that you didn't hear." The oh-so-fluffy leader said as he tried to get his dough nuts back from Konan**

"**No more dough nuts for you, mister. These have been all you've been eating for the past month! Do you know how fat you are?" Konan lectured**

"**ME LIKEY DOUGH NUT!! GIMMIE NOW!!" Pein roared.**

**The rest of the group left those two to quarrel over who will keep the dough nuts. Yuki then got a really crazy idea and asked Tobi to come with her to the leaf village**

"**Yuki-chan, why do you want to go to the leaf village so badly?" Tobi said as they walked to the leaf village that was only about an half hour walk. Or waddle in Yuki's case.**

"**I want to visit my family's tomb, I also want to do something..." Yuki said the last part very quietly so that Tobi wouldn't hear it. Once they got to the gates, the guards let them in because they thought that a man and his pregnant wife couldn't possibly be a threat to anyone. After a while, Yuki and Tobi found the Hokage tower and went inside, to climb to the top and announce something on the loud speakers. **

"_**Attention residents of Leaf. This is one of your new rulers speaking. This village is under control of the Akatsuki organization. Now come to the Hokage tower to greet the correspondents responsible for the safety and welfare of your village." **_**Yuki announced. After a little while, all of the village's people came to the tower and couldn't believe what they saw. A pregnant woman and a masked man playing checkers on the podium in front of the tower. **

"**Ummmm, hello? Who the HELL are you two?!" one random villager yelled. Team seven all went pale as they saw the couple. Tobi got up and helped Yuki get up off the ground.**

"**Hiya peoples! We are the new rulers of Fire Country! My name is Rosanjin Yuki and this is Tobi!" Yuki then saw the older people pale a bit.**

"**Y-y-y-you are t-t-t-the girl who murdered her whole clan before Itachi did?! You don't look a day over seventeen! You should be put under the worst rank in the ninja BINGO book! You killed the richest and most famous clan in the whole world!? You must have been, what, TEN when you killed then?! YOU WERE AT JONIN LEVEL WHEN YOU WERE ONLY TEN!?" One of the village women shouted. Yuki just smiled an evil smile.**

"**Yes, I was ten years old to this day when I killed my greedy, cold-hearted, family who wanted to use two little girls who just wanted a normal life. We just wanted a family that loved us, and some friends who cared! Just because we were gifted with the powers of that lone wolf that GAVE HIS LIFE FOR YOU THANKLESS PEOPLE, WE WERE OUTCAST! DID YOU EVER WONDER WHERE WE CAME FROM?! YOU THINK THAT THE ROSANJIN CLAN WAS A WEALTHY FAMILY, ALL THE CHILDREN WERE HAPPY!? THOSE BASTARDS DESERVED TO DIE!!" Yuki got angry at the last part. Tobi tried to calm her down, and all he needed were some chocolate covered pepper poppers. After he saw that she was gorging herself on the spicy food-stuffs, he made a quick announcement.**

"**I wouldn't mess with her if I were you. She has gained godly status since she left, as in she is literally a goddess. The goddess of death to be precise. And before you Jashinist out there start getting disappointed, yes a girl beat the god of death and gained his powers." Tobi announced. The village was now disscussing things about their two rulers, what will happen to the economy, what will they have to do, and what happened to Tsunade. **

"**WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GODAME HOKAGE?!"**

"**WHO APPOINTED THOSE LOSERS TO RULE US?!"**

"**CRACKERS!!" Ahhh, it seems that only one person liked their new rulers.**

"**WHO SAID CRACKERS!?" Yuki commanded. A weird looking guy dressed in backwards florescent clothing ran up to the stage.**

"**And what is your name?" Yuki asked in a sweet voice**

"**knarF" Frank responded. Yuki then smiled a truly happy smile that she didn't use ever since she met Tobi.**

"**I LIKE YOU FRANK!! YOU WIN!!" Yuki shouted. Frank looked like he just won a gihugic bucket o' noodles. **

"**What do I win?!" Frank asked. Yuki then took out a pin that said 'secretary of weekly activity'**

"**You will organize the humiliating stuff that the villagers will do every week starting NOW!" Yuki announced. Frank then got up on the podium and shouted.**

"**EVERYBODY DANCE THE MACARANA NOW!!" And then our little fun dude started dancing the macarana and weird music filled the air. The villagers were very confused about what they were supposed to do.**

"**YOU HEARD THIS INSANLY AWESOME DUDE!! DANCE THE MACARANA NOW!!" Yuki shouted. Then all the villagers started line dancing. As soon as the music stopped everyone stopped dancing.**

"**WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FORCING US TO DO THESE WEIRD THINGS?!" Naruto shouted. He knew that Yuki was off her rocker, but this is just crazy. Especially since she was video taping the whole experience.**

"**Shweet! This is going on YouTube!"Yuki shouted**

"**'Cause I wanted to see you guys do something fun! You all seem stuck up that its time to put some fun into this dull place! From now on, all houses will be painted various bright colors and shall never be dull again!" Yuki commanded. The villagers were ravenous by this point.**

"**WHO DIED AND MADE YOU QUEEN?!" One villager shouted. **

"**Tsunade did! Now do it or die!" Yuki commanded. **

"**Then how come she's standing right here!" One of the villagers shouted while pointing to a blond fifty year old woman.**

"**Because I brought her back from hell. NOW DO IT!" Yuki shouted.**

"**ITS TRUE! DO IT!" A very shaken Tsunade shouted. All the villagers gasped and hurried to buy all the bright paint to make their house brighter. Yuki grinned and left to find the old Rosanjin compound. After she found it, she looked for the graveyard and saw over one hundred tombs. She went right past a lot of them and went to the two biggest and most decorated tombstones. She then took out the same kantana she used to kill them and slashed their headstones. Tobi found her and wondered why she was disgracing the dead.**

"**Yuki-chan, what are you doing?" Tobi asked curiously. He then watched the two headstones fall the ground. Yuki then turned around.**

"**For filling a promise I made when I was seven years old." Yuki stated.**

"**What happened?" Tobi asked.**

"**When I was seven years old, my mommy and daddy said 'If you amount to anything, you worthless maggot, that will be the day someone could disgrace my family!' so I said that I would!" Yuki said cheerfuly. Tobi was a little disturbed by this, but went along with it. Then they started their half hour walk back to the base. Once there, Yuki and Tobi were tired, so they went through the secret passage that led them to their room. After they showered and got ready for bed, they went fast asleep. Then Yuki woke up in the middle of the night screaming. Tobi suddenly sprang up and helped her up.**

"**Yuki-chan!? What's wrong!?" Tobi asked in panic.**

"**OMFG!! THE PICKLES ARE EATING ME!!" Yuki screamed. Tobi then noticed that the bed was wet, and it wasn't urine. Then he finally got what Yuki was talking about, and he started running around the palace looking for some doctors or anyone who knows how to help a woman give birth. Yuki then was left, on the floor, in labor, and trying to concentrate so that the pain won't be as severe. She started breathing irregularly (now for a detour to a quiet meadow because the author doesn't want to write about Yuki giving birth to two beautiful children. Ahhhh, this is so relaxing and peaceful. Lets see how they are doing) **

"**AHHHH!!"Yuki screamed. (Okay then, now back to the meadow. Ohhh look! A pretty butterfly is fluttering in the breeze. Oh, god, its getting closer. NOOO STAY AWAY!! AHHHHH!!! GET THIS MURDUROUS BUTTERFLY AWAY FROM THE HAPPYEMOPUPPIES AND LIL' MISS LAZY!!! THEY'RE GOIN- oh, a Scottish terrier named Cloe-Cloe ate it(( she's our grandma's dog. She eats various insects.)). Ahhhh, its so peaceful. Oh, I think its over)**

**A very tired Yuki was laying down with the twins that she just gave birth to. A beautiful little boy, and a pretty little girl. Tobi was outside the room, because he was getting a little queasy from watching that. When he heard is was over, he came in and saw that Yuki was asleep and the babies were laying down next to he in two little cribs. Tobi then decided to go and tell Leader right away because it would be good to know why Yuki and Tobi are so tired, and why two little babies were at the table with them. He decided to ask why it only took Yuki about five months to give birth later. As he walked down the hall of the secret passage with a lantern, he noticed that the bottom of his pajama pants were wet._ 'oh well, guess I'll have to change them when I get back.'_ Tobi then knocked on Leader's door. A groggy, fat Leader opened the door looking rather mad that someone woke him up.**

"**What is so important that you woke me up at two in the morning, Tobi?" Leader asked like he wanted to go back to sleep right now. **

"**Tobi's sorry to bother you, sir, but Tobi needed to report that Yuki just gave birth a few hours ago and will probably be late tomorrow. She needs to sleep and so do the twins." Tobi said. Leader then snapped right awake and started to pale.**

"**Take me to her right now." Leader commanded**

"**But Leader, Tobi doesn't think-" Tobi was then cut off by a rampant Leader.**

"**I said take me to them now!" Leader sounded pissed, so Tobi led the way to their bedroom. Inside, Yuki was sleeping in the overly sized bed with a bald little boy, who was contently sleeping and a little girl with silver high lites streaking her shoulder length hair and was giggling and wiggling next to her brother. Leader then did something un-leaderlike. He went up and started playing with the little girl.**

"**Awww! They are so CUTE!" Leader squeeled like a little schoolgirl. Then Yuki woke up and saw the red headed man playing with her baby girl.**

"**Give Mariko back. I need to wash her and get her dressed into some baby clothes." Yuki said tiredly. Giving birth really took everything out of her.**

"**Awww, but she's so cute! Her hair is so beautiful and she is so playful!" Leader said as the little girl gripped his finger.**

"**Be lucky that you saw them first. I would usually wake up Tsuki in order for her to see them." Yuki said as she went into the bathroom and washed the two little babies in the sink. After all the blood was off of them, she put a tiny blue jumpsuit with a little pooh-bear and tigger playing in a field on the little boy. She then dressed Mariko in a little pink dress with flowers on it. **

"**When did you decide a name for her?" Tobi asked**

"**I need something to keep me occupied while you are on missions. So Tsuki and I redecorated the room that was going to be yours into a nursery and came up with a few names. Do you like it?" Yuki asked. **

"**Yeah, its a pretty name. What about the boy over here." Tobi said as he held the little boy **

"**I was thinking that since I named it if it was a girl, that you would name it if it was a boy. I guess I wasn't expecting twins." Yuki said. Tobi then thought for a while.**

"**How about...Reizo." Tobi said after a while. Yuki agreed and Leader was watching the little babies sleep. He then noticed that both the little girl and boy had tiny wolf ears and tails. Mariko's were blond streaked while Reizo's were pitch black. The little girl seemed more playful and bubbly than her brother, and kept trying to play with leader.**

"**Leader, I need some sleep and so do the babies. I think you should go back to your room." Yuki said with a yawn. Pein then said bye to the little babies and went back to his room. After Yuki changed the bed sheets and fed both of the babies, she went to sleep. Tobi was already out like a light, so she tried not to wake him as she crawled into bed. She lightly hugged him as she fell asleep. They will surely sleep in tomorrow. **

**Tobi was first to wake up. He checked the time on the clock hanging off of the wall. Eleven thirty in the morning. He also heard the babies fussing in the cribs next to the other side of the bed. **

"**Since when did- oh yeah..." Tobi then tried shaking Yuki to wake her.**

"**Yuki-chan! Wake up! The babies need attention!" Tobi shouted, trying to get her up. Yuki then woke up groggily.**

"**Mmmm, Tobi, wha- Oh yeah, the little whones!" Yuki said with a weird Spanish accent on the word 'ones'. She then fed them and washed them before showering herself. Tobi followed and both got dressed afterward. Yuki carried Reizo while Tobi held Mariko. Mariko was playing with her daddy's shirt while Reizo was squealing happily because Yuki was talking non-sense to him. Once in the hideout, Yuki cooked up and elaborate breakfast and put the babies on the couch. After she was done, there was an ecstatic Hidan in the kitchen.**

"**OMG!! CREAPES'!! YOU HAVEN'T MADE THESE IN FOREVER!! Wait... what happened to your stomach?" Hidan then pointed to an not-so-svelte Yuki. Yes, she did loose half of her weight because of the twins, and another 25 of it was water, so that left about a quarter of belly flab that probably dissolve quickly because Yuki works out often and has a high metabolism. She then took the extra thin pancakes with fruit on them to the table and ate hers as fast as she could. She then took the two babies to the table and introduced them. **

"**Itachi, You are now officially an uncle. This is Mariko..." Yuki then pointed to the little girl. "...and this is Reizo." Yuki said as she tickled the little boy. Tsuki squealed, Itachi paled, Pein was happy and playing with the little girl, and everyone else was shocked.**

"**I thought it took nine months for a baby to develop! How did you give birth to these two in five months?!" Kisame shrieked. **

"**I guess that because Tsuki and I are half wolf, than gives us some wolf-like qualities. Like short pregnancy!" Yuki said happily.**

"**But it takes wolves three months to give birth!" Kisame stated.**

"**Well tough cookies 'cause that's how long it took!" Yuki squealed.**

"**I want one!" Tsuki said. Yuki and Tobi just stared at her with wide eyes.**

"**WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!!" Yuki yelled. She then continued tickling Reizo. Itachi then did something he never EVER did before. He called Sasuke and told him to come over to the hideout. After about an hour, a very nervous Sasuke appeared at the door of the mansion.**

"**I-i-itachi? What's going on!? WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO COM-who's babies are those?" Sasuke stopped his rant when he noticed two little babies playing with their mommy's tail as she was sitting on the couch playing with the two little kids.**

"**Sasuke, you are now officially and uncle! Meet your niece and nephew! This is Reizo..." Itachi then picked up a little boy who was trying to reach Sasuke's funny looking hair. "...and this is Mariko!" Yuki then brought over a little girl who was trying to play with Itachi's ponytail. Sasuke then paled a little.**

"**...you mean that our clan really IS being revived by a couple of weirdos who had sex one day and one got pregnant!? I thought that it was just a very scary dream! Oh dear god! I don't want to be an uncle!" Sasuke panicked. He didn't know HOW to be a good uncle, he also didn't want his clan to be a bunch of overly powerful weirdos!**

"**Hey, Tobi, do you think that these two will be powerful ninja when they grow up?" Yuki asked. Even though she just gave birth to these two a few hours ago, she already knew their personality's. Mariko was more playful and loved attention, while Reizo liked sleeping and was a happy,quiet little boy most of the time. She put Reizo on top of a folded up blanket in the corner, while Mariko was being passed around to everyone.**

"**Be careful. They just ate a few hours ago. I don't want her throwing up on anybody." Yuki warned. But, Mariko was enjoying all the attention. Soon, Reizo started crying and Yuki took him into the bathroom, to change his diaper. She threw it in the dumpster conveniently place right outside of the bathroom window. Mariko then started crying and Yuki took her to the kitchen to feed her.**

"**You're a hungry little baby, aren't you? Come on, mommy needs to go back to the living room. There you go." Yuki talked quietly as she fed the little girl. When she was done, and burped, they went back to the living room.**

"**How did you know that she was hungry instead of in need of a diaper change?" Sasuke asked.**

"**I have a super sensitive nose. I smelled that Reizo needed a change, while Mariko just wanted to be fed because she didn't smell like a dirty diaper." Yuki stated. She then took them back to hell and put them to sleep. After clipping a baby monitor to her waist, she headed back to the living room in the Akatsuki hideout.**

"**Sasuke, are you staying for lunch?" Yuki asked. Sasuke nodded because the guy with the slicked back silver hair always talked about her food like it was a gift from god. That afternoon, Yuki make French onion soup. After she took the soup dishes out of the oven, she served them to each member. And Sasuke. After Sasuke took one sip of the soup, he felt like he was in heaven. He ate the soup like there was no tomorrow. He then took the dirty dish to the sink and thanked Yuki for the great food and left. Everything else was pretty normal for the Akatsuki for a little while after that.**

**&&&&&& **

**Hope you liked this new chappie! The HappyEmoPuppies wrote most of it, so I hope it came out alright. If you review, she'll put on her weird announcer guy again. You also will be mentioned in our little chat with Itachi that happens before the chappie. REVIEW!! Byez my peoplez!**


	15. Nother Chappie

Yayz! Hiyaz my peoplez! You will be warned, this chappie contains...evil music...FLUFFY LEADER!

Pein- No! I will not stand for this!

'Lil miss lazy- Then take a seat mr. I'M TOO COOL TO BE FLUFFY. -- Oh! Also, I'm gonna be lazy and start abbreviating our screen names. Lml for 'Lil miss lazy, and HEP for HappyEmoPuppies.

HEP- Yay! Wait...HEP?! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!

Lml- a name that came from lazyness. Like most great things, like the automobile! It was because we are too lazy to walk there. Such lazy things we are.

HEP- But I'm a puppies.

Lml- TOUGH COOKIES!

HEP- Well, screw you guys, I'm going home!

Lml- but you are home. YOUR IN MY ROOM!

HEP-That doesn't prove anything!

Itachi- (twitches) Leader's going to be fat?! THAT HIGHLY UNPROBABLE!!

HEP & Lml- TOO BAD 'CAUSE HE'S GOING TO BE FLUFFY!!

Mariko- I AM TODDLER!! HEAR ME ROAR!!

Reizo- Why are you yelling?

Mariko- I donno, maybez 'cause all those people are yelling.

Reizo- I can't believe I'm related to you people

Reizo goes to find somebody actually normal in the hideout

Yuki- COME BACK HERE MISTER!!

Oooookay then. On with the chappie!

&&&&&&

After a few more months, the babies grew into full fledged toddlers. The only reason their growth was accelerated is because Tsuki thought babies were boring. That left two little toddlers trying to learn to speak. Yuki was teaching Mariko how to say 'mama' while Tobi was getting Reizo to say 'papa'. It was a very interesting process to watch.

"mmmmmmmammmmmmmammma" Yuki sounded like a broken record, she kept saying that for hours until Mariko finally make some progress.

"Mmmmma-mmmmannnn-mmmannnngg- MANGO!!" Mariko shouted. Yuki glowed and went over to tell Tobi that she said her first word.

"TOBI-KUN!! MARIKO SAID MANGO!! SHE SAID MANGO!!!" Yuki spazzed. Tobi then turned to her. If you could see under his mask, you would see a very confused person.

"Mango? Why would she say mango?!" Tobi questioned. He then saw a little girl crawling on the floor singing the mango song with perfect pitch.

"Mango, mango, mango-mango-mango, MAAAANNNNGOOOOOO!" Mariko sang. (If you never heard the mango song, look it up on the end is awesome!!)

Yuki started singing along, leaving a confused Tobi and Reizo. Yuki was dancing around with the little girl and put on some music.

"...here comes the pope, he's been blessing some apples!..." Yuki sang, since Mariko could only say 'mango' so far. Tobi then took Reizo to another room and started trying to teach him to say 'papa' again.

"Papa, come on, say 'papa'!" Tobi persisted. Reizo then started mumbling something.

"P-p-p-papa!" Reizo squeaked. Tobi then felt relived that at least one of the twins were normal. He then started worrying about his little girl. She could either be a baby genius or just plain crazy. He hoped it was the first one. Tobi then looked over at his mate (not wife. They aren't married) and saw that Tsuki, the ho-so-fluffy Leader, and Deidara joined them in their little party. Yuki then stopped and looked like she was the most uncomfortable person eva'!

"Tsuki, what month is it?" Yuki asked. Tsuki then thought for a second.

"Somewhere near mid December, why?" Tsuki then also froze.

"OMFG!! CRISTMAS WILL BE HERE IN A FEW WEEKS!!" Yuki and Tsuki panicked. Deidara and Tobi then calmed them down. Yuki then got a brilliant idea.

"Tsuki, you could make all the presents we forgot to buy. It would only take a few hours, besides the time I need to make a new list. Excuse me, I need to start writing." Yuki then left. Tobi paled.

"Th-th-there's n-no S-s-anta?" Tobi sounded really upset, then Yuki came back into the room and comforted him.

"Its okay, we need to wait until next year for another Santa. SOMEBODY thought it was a good idea to EAT him last year." Yuki then looked at the two Zetsus suspiciously.

"What?! I thought that he might taste good." They both said in defense. Yuki and Tsuki both pranced off to the kitchen to plot...'things'. Really, nobody knew what they were doing exactly, but it involved old hobo shoes, chocolate milk, and LOTS of sand. While they were doing that, evil laughter filled the living room.

"_(INSERT EVIL LAUGHTER HERE) I HAVE COME TO TAKE MY REVENGE ON YOU, DEIDARA OF THE AKATSUKI!!" _The strange voice called out.

"Dave, is that you, un? If this is a joke, its not funny, un." Deidara said as he sipped the hot drinking chocolate that Yuki made earlier. (Drinking chocolate is not hot cocoa OR hot chocolate. Cocoa has whipped creme and marshmallow, chocolate is straight up chocolate, while drinking chocolate is hot cocoa with real chocolate bits and caramel bits in it along with thicker drink and has lots of caffeine in it.)

"_I KNOW NOT OF TEH'ONE YOU CALL-ETH DAVID!! IT IS MEH'! GAARA OF' TEH'SANDBOXES!!" _The strange voice called out as a evil looking teenager fell gracefuly in front of Deidara.

"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE, UN!?" Deidara fumed. He really didn't like this guy. Gaara always made fun of his girl-ish looks by calling him 'Ma'am'. One time he took it as far as calling him a girl's name, he forgets what it was. Something to do with boars... forget it. Anyway, the point is that these two didn't get along very well.

"HOW WAS I DEFEATED BY A GIRL!? YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE THE FAIRER SEX!!" Gaara fumed. Yuki and Tsuki came out of their little lava-lamp of a world and stopped the inevitable fight that was going to take place here. Tsuki stopped Gaara and Yuki stopped Deidara. That was a bad decision.

"Deidara-san, its okay. Let it go, its not his fault that you're a girly-man..." Yuki said. That threw Deidara off the edge.

"I AM MAN!!! I AM NOT A WOMAN!!!..." Deidara screached. Tobi knew where this was going and took the babies out of hearing range. Deidara then ripped off Tsuki's cloak and then his own.

"...GIRLS HAVE CURVES!!! DO YOU SEE ANY BOOBS ON ME, UN!?" Deidara yelled. Yuki was nervous to answer.

"...yesRUN!!!" Yuki then ran to the safety of hell since the citizens calmed down about the pregnancy thing.

"...did she just say I have man-boobs, un?!" Deidara questioned. Tsuki nodded a yes as she tried to get her cloak back from the rampaging Deidara. She failed miserably and just materialized a new one to put on.

"WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON HER!! SHE IS DEAD MEAT!!" Deidara then went to semi-vent his anger in his room.

Tsuki then caught up with Yuki and plotted things for the biggest commercial holiday ever. If you listened to them, though, you wouldn't know what the hell they were talking about.

Itachi then wanted to spend some personal time with his niece and nephew. He entered hell and gapped at the gigantic castle he saw ahead. He ran for it until he was finally at the gate. He was stopped at the gate by two abnormally large wolves.

"Halt! Who art thou?" One wolf asked in a mid evil accent. Itachi announced himself as 'the smexiest person alive' and was rejected. About a half an hour of arguing with the two guards later, Tobi came across the scene and let Itachi in.

"What-eth do you wish, Itachi?" Tobi asked in a weird accent. Itachi got used to hearing it from the guards and didn't mind much.

"I want to see the kids."Itachi stated blandly. Then he heard squeals and giggles coming from the other room.

"Hay! Its uncle 'Tachi!" Mariko yelled as she went up and hugged her uncle.

"How did you teach them to talk so quickly?" Itachi questioned. Tobi just pointed to his eye hole.

"Sharingan, remember. Tobi put them into his little world and taught them how to talk for three days. It was quite easy, actually." Tobi said. Then Reizo came up and tugged on Itachi's cloak like he wanted to tell him a secret. Itachi bent forward to hear what the little kid had to say.

"Take me with you! I don't like this loony bin of a house!" Reizo begged. Itachi was quite startled because usually, toddlers weren't as articulate as Reizo.

"I want to, but I can't little buddy. Your mommy would kill me if she found out I took you." Itachi responded. Reizo looked sad and walked off to play with his lappy. (laptop) Itachi then decided to play with the princess of hell. Mariko was playing with her daddy's hair when Itachi came up and started throwing her around.

"Who's the little princess of the house?" Itachi asked in a playful tone

"I am!" she responded. Itachi then brought her down and hugged her.

"Uncle 'Tachi wuves his little niece and nephew." Itachi cooed as he went up and hugged both the little toddlers.

"Sorry, Itachi, but somebodies' nap time." Tobi said as he ushered the two little kids up to their bedrooms.

"Awwwww." They both whined, but went upstairs. Itachi then sat down and started talking with Tobi.

"You look like a good father figure, Tobi-san." Itachi said. Tobi took off his mask and grinned a sinister smile.

"Well, I try!" He said cheerfully in a slightly deeper voice. "I want these kids to grow up with a good childhood. Like one neither Yuki or I had a chance to have. I was forgotten in a rock slide by a teammate, and Yuki was abused since she was barely able to talk, and she turned fugitive at the age of ten. I hope these children don't make the same mistakes we made." Tobi said. Itachi understood what he was talking about. He surely made his share of mistakes.

"Well, I enjoyed my little visit, but I need to go. I have a mission in the morning." Itachi then left the palace, leaving Tobi in the room with nothing to do.

"Hmm, maybe Tobi can go help Yuki and Tsuki with planning." Tobi then left for the living room where he knew the girls were.

Tobi found Tsuki sitting at the table drawing fish. He really didn't see how fish had anything significant in common with Christmas. "Whatcha doin?" Tobi asked.

"Planning the layout of my new species for my experiment." Tsuki said.

"What experiment?" Tobi was interested at an experiment that included odd looking fish.

"Well, I have been flying thorough space and found a planet that could support life, but had no water. So a put water on the planet and filled it with various plants. I have also developed my skills so I have more understanding on the brain of animals so I can get it to function. Now I am in the process of forming species that will be able to survive in the wild." Tsuki explained.

"Fish are easier to make, and I have studied more on them. Having more understanding on how fish work, I can, in theory, create a functioning living being of the fish variety. It is very complicated to form a brain and mind from scratch, so I am using the basic makeup of another fish and alter it to suit the one I am creating." Tsuki continued to sketch the fish.

"The only thing that could go wrong is that I succeed and the animals go against me, whereas I will just have to start over again." Tsuki finished. Tobi just shrugged and left to look for Yuki. He then found her working on the thing she was working on. She had over a million smelly hobo's shoes, gallons of chocolate milk, and tons of sand.

"Yuki-chan, whatcha doin?" Tobi asked. Yuki just turned around and gave him a strange look.

"Planning things for revenge, uh I mean, Christmas. Why?" Yuki said. Tobi then looked at the millions of wrapped presents. She also had a tall, very decorated tree and tons of other x-mas stuff.

"Uuuuhhh, okay then." Tobi then left still wondering what the heck she was going to do with the milk, sand, and shoes.

"Daddy, Reizo took away my chicken wing!! Tell him to give it back!" Mariko stood in front of Tobi, crying because her brother took her chicken wing.

"Reizo!" Tobi shouted, then a little boy came out of the kitchen covered head to toe in bar-b-q sauce.

"Yes, daddy?" Reizo answered.

"Why did you take Mariko's chicken wing? You could have gotten your own from the kitchen. And look at you! Your covered in sauce!" Tobi scolded. Reizo then apologized to his sister.

"I'm sorry, Mariko-chan." Reizo was then picked up by Tobi.

"Come on, daddy needs to find mommy so that she can fix it. Mariko, daddy's sorry. You just need to get a new chicken wing." Tobi said as he looked for Yuki. Tobi eventually found her in the living room, watching the stupid box.

"Mommy!" Reizo yelled happily. Yuki then got up and looked at her son.

"Were you rolling around in chicken wing sauce?" Yuki the picked up the little toddler and took him to hell to wash his clothes and give him a bath. Reizo played with the bubble bath. Yuki then took out some shaving cream and put a little bit in his hand. (HEP & Lml: our daddy used to let us play with shaving cream when we were toddlers.) Reizo then played with the foam and started splashing around in the tub. Yuki took a towel and mopped up the mess he was making and drained the tub.

Yuki then took the now clean Reizo to his room to change him. Tobi was still potty-training the little boy, so he still wore diapers. Mariko already knew how to use the bathroom because she watched Tobi train her brother, so she wasn't usually a problem. As soon as she was done, she noticed that it was their bed time. She put Reizo to bed and went looking for Mariko.

"Mariko!! Its bed time!!" Yuki called. She then saw Tobi carry a half asleep Mariko up the stairs.

"Tobi can handle her, she's not as wound up as usual." Tobi said as he went into the bathroom to bath the little girl. Yuki then started making dinner for the rest of the Akatsuki. Today was taco day, so she made a wide spread of taco stuff. She put out lettuce, tortillas, cheeses, salsa, and everything else that you could put on a taco. She then made some quesadillas for herself, because she didn't like tacos.

(Lml: HEP is too fancy for the tacos. HEP: YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE!? PUNK?! I just don't like tacos because of the...'Rob' incident. Lml: Oh, that one time when our step dad put extra spicy blackening spice in the tacos...wait, you NEVER liked tacos! HEP: uhhhhhhh, RUN!!) Once at the table, Yuki got an idea.

"Hey, guys, how would we teach the kids?" Yuki said. The rest of the Akatsuki started discussing about the subject.

"Worry about that later." Tsuki responded. Then she heard a knock at the door, so she got up and answered it.

"Hello?" She answered, when she opened the door and saw Sasuke at the door. Yuki and Itachi then appeared out of nowhere and played weird music and started singing 'Bobby Brown' by Frank Zappa, except replacing the name Bobby Brown with Sasuke Uchiha. (A/N: I don't own that either.)

Hay there people, I'm Sasuke U.

They say I'm the cutest boy in town,

My car is fast and my teeth are shiny,

I tell all the girls they can kiss my high knee!!

Here I am at a famous school,

Dressing sharp

and acting cool

I got a cheerleader here who wants to help with my paper,

I'll let her do all the work,

and maybe later I'll rape her!!

Oh, god, I am the American dream,

But don't think that I' too extreme,

I'm a handsome sonofabitch!

I'm gonna get a good job and be real rich!

(Leader then started in on the little joke and sang the deep parts)

_get a good_

_get a good_

_get a good_

_get a good job._

Woman's liberation

came creepin' all across the nation,

I wanna tell you I was not ready,

When I fucked a dyke by the name of Freddie!

She made a little speech then,

Ah, she tried to make me say when,

She had my balls in a vice,

But she left the dick,

I guess its still hooked on,

but now it shoots too quick!

Oh, god, I am the American dream!

But now I smell like vaseline,

And I'm a miserable sonofabitch,

Am I a boy or a lady?...I don't know which!

_I wonder_

_wonder_

_wonder_

_wonder_

So I went and bought me a leisure suit,

I jingle my change,

but I'm still kinda cute,

Got a job doin' radio promo,

and none of the jocks can even tell I'm a homo!

Eventually, me and a friend,

Sorta drifting along doing s&m,

I can take an hour on the tower of power,

as long as I get a little golden shower!

Oh, god, I am the american dream!

With a spindal in my butt 'till it makes me scream!

And I'll do anything to get ahead

I lay awake at night sayin' thank you Fred!

Oh, god, oh, god,

I'm so fantastic!

Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic!

And my name is Sasuke U.

Watch me now, I'm goin' down,

And my name is Sasuke U.

Watch me now, I'm goin' down...

Sasuke was a little creeped out by this. "And that was Sasuke U. 's theme song!" Yuki cheered.

"NO IT'S NOT!" Sasuke insisted.

"But it fits your life perfectly! You are the gay prettyboy!" Yuki explained.

"I am not gay!" Sasuke yelled.

"Uhhh, I gotta go find Deidara." Tsuki then left rather quickly. She was uncomfortable around homosexuals. They creeped her out.

"What's up with her?" Sauke asked.

"She dosen't like gays." Yuki stated.

"I'M NOT GAY!!" Sasuke fumed.

"Well apparantly you are because Tsuki ran out. Congrats on your realization!" Yuki then began to play a different song because she liked it.

It's alright/ to tell me/ what you think/ about me

I won't try/ to argue/ or hold it/ against you

I know that/ you're leaving/ you must have/ your reasons

The season/ is calling/ your pictures/ are falling down

The steps that/ I retrace/ the sad look/ on you're face

The timing/ and structure/ did you hear/ he fucked her?

A day late/ a buck short/ I'm writing/ the report

On losing/ and failing/ when I move/ I'm flailing now

And its's happened once again I'll turn to a friend

someone that understands

sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone

And I've been here for too long

To face this on my own

Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

And maybe/ I'll see you/ at a movie/ sneek preview

You'll show up/ and walk by/ on the arm/ of that guy

And I'll smile/ and you'll wave/ we'll pretend/ it's okay

The charade /it won't last/ when he's gone / I won't come back

And it's happened once again I'll turn to a friend

someone that understands

sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone

And I've been here for too long

To face this on my own

Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

"Okay, stop it. I came to see the rest of my clan." Sasuke said only to get glomped by Itachi.

"My little brother came to visit me!! How cuuute!!" Itachi squealed, Sasuke was trying to squrm out of the deadly grasp of his older brother.

"NOOO!! I CAME TO SEE THE KIDS!! Hey, where are they anyway?" Sasuke said as he noticed that the hideout was unusualy quiet.

"Its past their bed time. Hopefully, they are sleeping. You want some dinner?" Yuki said. Sasuke nodded and sat down at the table, rather uncomfortable that he is sitting down with the rulers of the world like they were a close family. They talked amonst themselves and ate rather peacefuly.

"Uhh, I have a favor to ask." Sasuke said quietly, then everyone stopped and looked at him.

"What is it chicken-butt-head?" Yuki asked. Sasuke kinda fiddled with his fingers like a toddler would when ther are in trubble.

"Ummm, I got kicked out of my apartment and I need a place to stay. I can't stay at one of the fangirl's houses because they could do...things, Naruto is, well, Naruto, and Kakashi and Sakura said no. This is the only place that I can think of that I have connections to and I could stay. Please? Only for a month, tops!" Sasuke begged. Everyone else just shrugged and went back to eating.

"Of course my foolish baby brother can stay with us!! Breakfast is at eight thirty, lunch at noon, and dinner is usually around seven-ish. It really depends if the kids want to eat what we're eating..." Itachi explained. "The only four rules you follow are clean up after yourself, don't hurt the toddlers, don't annoy the others, and bring a roll of toilet paper." Itachi finished. Sasuke was confused by the last part.

"Why bring a roll of toilet paper?" He asked. Itachi just shrugged.

"Its a rule that Tsuki and Yuki made up. I don't know why, but we always seem short on toilet paper." Itachi then turned to Hidan.

"SOMEONE likes to tee-pee houses during the night." Everyone else then turned to Hidan.

"WHAT!? IT WAS FUNNY AT THE TIME OKAY!!" Hidan yelled. Then a sleepy little girl entered the room.

"Mommy, Daddy, I heard a loud noise and it woke me up. (Insert yawn here)" Mariko said sleepily. Yuki picked her up and took her back to hell to see what the problem was. Everyone continued their without her. She then returned with a pissed expression on her face.

"What happened?" Tobi questioned. Yuki turned to him.

"Our son was hiding in her closet." Yuki said grudgingly. Sasuke and Hidan snickered and everybody else just didn't care.

"and guess what I found him doing." Yuki said angrily, Tobi just shrugged and saw that she had something behind her back. He found a crumpled playboy magazine with the address 'Hidan of Akatsuki on ' (I'M NOT GIVING YOU AN ADDRESS!!) on the spine. He then turned to Hidan and teamed up with Yuki on looking pissed. They both marched up to him and yelled at him.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? BRING THIS CRAP NEAR MY SON!! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE HIM INTO A PERVERT!?" Yuki yelled

"REIZO DOSEN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS STUFF IS!! TOBI REALLY HATES YOU RIGHT NOW!! WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING THIS INTO THE HIDEOUT WHEN YOU KNOW THERE ARE CHILDREN IN HERE!? DID YOU SHOW THIS STUFF TO HIM ON POURPUSE!?" Tobi yelled. Hidan just wanted to go crawl into a hole and die at this moment. Tsuki then felt a twitch in the back of her neck at this exact moment in her room

"Hidan's in trouble for something. This is going to be good!" Tsuki said as she went back to the dining room and found an evil looking Tobi and Yuki ganging up on Hidan.

"Did I miss anything?" Tsuki asked Kisame.

"Yeah, a lot. Apparently Hidan buys playboy, and Reizo found it and was looking at it in his sister's closet. Mariko started hearing strange noises coming from her closet and told Yuki and Tobi about it. Yuki found him and saw the address and told Tobi about it and now they are pissed beyond belief!" Kisame said. Tsuki then paled and joined the two extremely mad pair.

"WHY DID YOU SHOW THAT STUFF TO MY NEPHEW!? I SHOULD JUST KILL YOU RIGHT NOW YOU SICK, TWISTED, MENTALY CHANLLENGED PERVERT!!" Tsuki hollered. Yuki then dropped the magazine and Tsuki noticed something quite disturbing. Hidan had altered the pictures and had pictures of Yuki and herself sleeping over the heads of the porn models. Tsuki tapped the angry Yuki's shoulder and tried to get her attention.

"Yuki, look down. Hidan somehow got pics of us sleeping and taped them over the heads of the models." Tsuki explained. Yuki then looked down and saw the alleged pictures and absolutely fummed.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THOSE!? YOU ARE WORSE THAN JARIYA!! I CAN'T BELIVE YOU, YOU, YOU...GRAWLITH!!!!" Yuki was at a loss of words. She honestly couldn't believe him. By this time, both Uchiha brothers joined the little anger party and everyone else kinda were afraid of everyone in their little angry family. Hidan, on the other hand, found the two girls screaming at him quite smexy. He was smirking like a madman at this point because the two were so angry that they were being held off and he found that even smexier. He just ignored the men in the group.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME YOU EVIL LITTLE BASTARD?!" Yuki screamed. Everyone else was thankful that the kids' rooms were hidden deep in hell so that they can't hear the trash talk that was going on. Hidan, though, was absolutely loving this until Tobi and Deidara intervened.

"Come on, Tsuki, un. Yuki and Tobi can take care of their kids, un. You need to get away from Hidan and calm down, un." Deidara comforted.

"We need to go see if Reizo is okay. Come on Yuki. TOBI IS LOCKING THE DOOR FROM NOW ON!!" a slightly calmer Tobi shouted the last part and shredded the playboy so that Reizo wouldn't come back to get it later. Yuki and Tobi vanished into hell, Tsuki and Deidara went into her room, and Itachi calmed down and showed Sasuke where his room was. Kakuzu then went over to Hidan.

"I'll give you two bucks for the next copy that you re-do." Kakuzu offered. Hidan agreed and now was an official porn dealer.

"I will if you get me pictures of them sleeping." Hidan said. Back in hell, Yuki and Tobi were talking to their son.

"Reizo, you're not in trouble, but where did you get that magazine?" Yuki said in a worried voice. Reizo then fiddled with his hands.

"umm...uh, well,...I found them under Hidan's bed. He found me crawling around in there and gave me the magazine...is Hidan in trubble?" Reizo said. Yuki and Tobi just nodded and left the room.

Yuki found Hidan in the living room and knocked him out before dragging him back to hell and into the torture chamber.

A half hour later, Hidan awoke in a dark room strapped to a metal table. "What?" Hidan tried to get loose. "LET ME OUT!" he demanded.

"We have to make sure you don't poison the minds of the toddlers, so we decided this was the most fun course of action." Yuki said as Sasori came in with a butter knife. It glistened evilly in the dim light.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT?!" Hidan panicked.

"You'll find out soon enough." Sasori said. He just LOVED his job.

"Well Hidan, Tsuki came up with the brilliant idea to castrate you in a very painful way, which was with a butter knife!" Yuki explained as she grabbed some more restraints so Hidan wouldn't get out while they were torturing. She then put them on and took out a kuni and shredded his clothing so that they could begin.(CENSOREDCENSORED...wait, this is a rated M fiction! Why am I censoring it? Oh well...CENSOREDCENSORED) Hidan was screaming bloody murder by the time they were done because they did it while he was WIDE AWAKE and without anything to ease the pain.

"AHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELLDID YOU DO TO LIL' HIDAN!?" Hidan screamed. Yuki started giggling like a school girl.

"Y-y-y-y-ou named this pathetic tiny piece of flesh?" She said holding up a tiny scrap of flesh. Hidan paled and then noticed that Sasori took it and put it into one of the dog food bowels. A little wolf came up and ate it.

"NOOOOO!!! YOU GUYS ARE PURE EVIL!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!? IS IT MY FAULT THAT THE KID FOUND IT!?! PUT LIL' HIDAN BACK!!!" Hidan demand-asked-screamed. Yuki and Sasori stated laughing evilly.

"Continue the operation, Sasori." Yuki said evilly Sasori then took the bloody butter knife and started slicing...(CENSOREDCENSOREDCENSORED!!)...now the two were putting Hidan in so much pain that he actually started crying.

"PLEASE STOP!! THIS IS TOURTURE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! UNCLE!!!" Hidan cry-screamed. Yuki then got a truly evil idea.

"Jingles!! Go get Sigmund!!" Yuki screamed. The little wolf that was in the room nodded and left to go get the famous psychologist Jingles then came back with an old man who had a weird accent and a pointy beard!

"Yes, Yuki-sama?" He called out.

"Froid, tell our little friend his mental disorder. I have evidence right here." Yuki then pulled out random sex toys and magazines that had her and Tsuki's faces over the models. All the stuff that she had said 'HIDAN'S STUFF!! DON'T TOUCH!!' printed out on them and handed them to our little psychologist friend. He took one look at the stuff and stared at our little pervert.

"I vould svay that he has a little disorder volled 'Perverted Mind disorder'. It is a deavly disease and he vill die in tvo or three years." He said. Hidan paled.

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!! IS THERE A CURE?! Come on, maaaan, got any of the cure?" Hidan stared panicking and Sigmund thought of an idea.

"Vere is vone cure, bvut its higthvy unvikley..." Sigmund then saw a crying and bleeding excessively Hidan. If he wasn't chained right now, he would be begging for him to tell him the cure.

"...Vou need to vecome a veek." Froid said. Yuki and Sasori giggled. Hidan couldn't understand what the crazy doctor said.

"Wha?!" Hidan screeched

"He said you need to become a geek. They are the only people who are not obsessed with their bodies and what they look like." Yuki explained.(ALMOST ALL THE PEOPLE READING THIS ARE GEEKS!! Or Narutarded, or both, like Lml and me!!) Hidan paled some more.

"uhhhhhhhh..." Hidan was speechless.

"If your trying out to be the next American Idol, this isn't the place, though I have to say nice technique!" Yuki applauded. She then let Hidan go and get dressed.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THE BATHROOM!?" Hidan realized that without Lil' Hidan that he couldn't pee.

"Sit down instead of stand up!" Yuki said as she left. Hidan grumbled and left like they would do it again if he didn't do it soon enough. He then walked through the hideout and decided to take a shower to get all the blood off, and found Kakuzu in the bathroom with one of his home made 'Playboy, with Akatsuki playmates edition' doing something...shameful.

"WTF!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Hidan screamed. Kakuzu looked up and blushed.

"...This...is...embarrassing...hehe" Kakuzu said. Hidan then closed the door to hear a sigh and some grunts coming from behind the door. He then tried His private bathroom and found a bunch of cats in there.

"WTF?! WHAT'S WITH THE CATS!?" Hidan was tired, wanted to shower and needed to get a band-aid. Apparently, life hated him today, because when he tried Tobi's old bathroom, he found that the bathtub had a big pile of dirt in it because apparently, Zetsu was using it to photosynthesize in after he moved, but before he turned onto two girls. He finally found an open bathroom and hoped that nobody found him for a while.

In another room(because nobody wants to know what Hidan was doing in the bathroom...) Tsuki had finished up her drawings of the fish she wanted to create along with plans for its internal systems and a layout for its brain. She would let evolution work out the kinks and she would study the change. Tsuki had also made mutation rate of the species higher to speed up the process.

"All I have to do now is make a basic reproduction system and organs for this to work. Then I can release it into my little planet!" Tsuki was thrilled taking another step in her quest to create more complicated forms of life. Then she remembered something.

"Oh! I totally forgot! I would have to have a completely new set of DNA and RNA for the fish to survive for more than a few minutes!" She had not thought about this earlier, this was going to be a problem. Mostly because nobody really knew how DNA or RNA worked. This was going to be tough. "Well, that just means more research! But how will I study how DNA and RNA work and is developed? And what changes I would have to make for this species to live?" All very good questions. She would investigate later, now she wanted to have some ice cream.

Tsuki got some ice cream and went into her room to figure out how she was going to get all this to work out. She looked over to her sketch book and decided to draw, because she didn't feel like figuring complicated scientific formulas concerning the development of DNA. Deidara then stumbled into the room.

"Hey,Tsuki-chan. What are you doing, un?" Deidara questioned as he looked over her shoulder and saw many complex formulas and theories on the sketch of a weird fish.

"Well I'm cre-" Tsuki was interrupted by a loud girl-ish scream. They both rushed out to find a fluffy leader soaked head to toe in a chunky, brown liquid that smelled like old shoes.

"YUKI!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" Leader then turned around to see Yuki and Gaara laughing their butts off.

"YOU NEVER GAVE ME MY COTTON CANDY!! I WAITED FOR A MONTH AND NEVER GOT IT!! Just be lucky that you didn't get the same fate that Hidan got for messing with me..." As Yuki said that, a very sick looking Hidan came into the room. He looked pale and was in a blood bathed Akatsuki cloak.

"...see? Look what happened to him! Sasori and I tortured him for an hour and he couldn't take it!!" Yuki said to the pissed Leader. Hidan then looked mad and pointed to Yuki.

"YOU AND SASORI CASTRATED ME WITH A BUTTER KNIFE AND NO ANTICEPTIC!!" Hidan screamed. Everyone else in the room started laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. (it probably is too...)

"You deserved it. You turned my son to the dark side! Now Tobi and I can't keep him away from the playboy that somehow keeps getting into the hideout. THE WORST PART IS THAT ITS ALREADY ALTERED!! HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING PICTURES OF TSUKI AND ME SLEEPING!? THAT IS JUST A LITTLE OVER OBSESSIVE!!" Yuki yelled the last part. Kakuzu then finally came out of the bathroom with a newspaper in hand. A dark magazine with the playboy bunny on the cover with big sparkly letters 'AKATSUKI PLAYMATE ADDITION' on the cover.

"Oh, hell no! You did not send those pictures into playboy and have them published." Yuki said in a threatening tone. Hidan then started playing with his fingers like a toddler.

"Well, technically I didn't, but Kakuzu did." Hidan said. With that statement, the money obbsessed member ran like if he didn't, he would have to pay TAXES!! (Le' Gasp!!)

"I'm too tired to deal with you right now. I'm going to bed." Yuki said in a sleepy voice. She headed off to her room, only to find that Tsuki had played a little trick on her the hard way. HER ROOM WAS TURNED INTO AN ALTERNATE DEMENTION THAT WAS COLORED BRIGHT PURPLE!! She found out the hard way because she stepped into the demention and started kinda floating around. She didn't like floating a lot because she liked the feeling of actually being able to walk around. She then found various items in the realm and that the door was locked shut. Then, Tobi floated by.

"YUKI-CHAN!! WHERE ARE WE?! TOBI DOSEN'T LIKE IT HERE!!" Tobi shouted to the already half asleep Yuki. Somehow, a queen sized bed ended up here and started floating around with some sheets, pillows, and blankets. Yuki just dressed the bed and lied down.

"Tobi-kun...Yuki-chan...tired...need...sleep.." Yuki mumbled before going completely asleep. Tobi thought that they might be here a while, so why not sleep. He just crawled into the comfy bed with Yuki and slept for several hours. Meanwhile, in the distance, Evil Zetsu was planing something...well, evil. She never got to see the last of her free porn, so she tricked Tsuki into playing a prank on Yuki and Tobi. She then sent various things into there so that they could survive for about four weeks, and went inside with the best weed and crank that she could grow. (that must be some awesome drugs) Once she saw that Yuki came in, she lit the pot and locked the door before anyone could tell she was there. She then started smoking the crank and fanned it toward the pair while they were sleeping. She saw what happened when they were drugged up and drunk, so just to make sure it worked, she added a little ecstasy to the crank to spice it up a little. (HEP: I don't do drugs, I just read too many Ellen Hopkins books. ITS THE TRUTH SO DEAL WITH IT!! (gosh)) Tobi and Yuki inhaled the mix while they were sleeping. When they woke up, they felt a little weird and started talking about...things.

"I swear that one day, canned tuna fish shall take over the planed and make us their slaves who do stuff..." Yuki rambled.

"I------------" Tobi just stretched out an I sound for a very long time. (HE IS THE NEW AMERICAN IDOL!!) Then, Yuki got a weird idea. She took the soul of an old person in hell and put it into the teapot.

"DANCE YOU FOOL!! DANCE!!" She commanded. The teapot then started complaining and did simple acrobatics. Yuki and Tobi were entertained for a while and evil Zetsu was bored.

"DO SOMETHING SMEXY ALREADY!" She accidentally shouted. She then thanked god that they were high and started talking to her like she was an alien. (she probably was when she was a plant-dude-thing...)

"Melvin? Is that you?" Yuki said in a weary high voice. "I thought I told you to never eat my pie ever again!! Don't make me beat you with my cabbage patch kid collection!!" Yuki shouted at air. She got hit with a blob of water.

"Why is it cold all of a sudden?" Yuki said stupidly. Zetsu then noticed that she accidentally left her water bottle open and since there was no gravity, it kinda just floated into the air and hit Yuki. She then took off her shirt and noticed another blob of water coming her way and ducked it. It then hit Tobi right in the chest. His shirt was soaked and now they were both kinda just sitting there, playing with a piece of cheese they found somewhere, shirtless and Zetsu was getting impatient. She wanted her free porn now, dammit!! She then got an idea that was so crazy that it might work.

"Hay, have sex with each other! NOW!" She yell-whispered. Tobi and Yuki just shrugged and started taking off the rest of their clothing. Then they noticed that it was getting warmer. Yuki then saw a purple sun in the distance and it was getting closer. A wiener dog then floated by barking annoyingly.

"barkbarkbarkBARK!!" it squeeked. Then it flew into the sun and was heard off into the distance.

(warning!! lemon alert!!)

"BARKBARKBARK-ouch-BARKIDYBARKBARK!!" It hollered. Yuki and Tobi stopped wondering what would happen if they touched the sun and figured out that it wasn't hot enough on the surface to actually burn something, so roasting marshmallows were out. They continued what they were doing. Yuki started taking off Tobi's pants with her teeth and was practically tearing them at the seam because she was tugging on them too hard. After his pants were off, she took off his underwear and started licking him like she did before. _'THIS IS WHAT I PAID FOR, wait...I didn't pay for this...BUT ITS WORTH EVERY PENNY!!' _Zetsu thought as she video taped it for later. After Yuki was done that, Tobi flipped her onto the bed and tore through her bra and pants with a kuni he found floating around.

He then started kissing her and trailed down her jaw until he got to her neck. He then sucked on the pale flesh. Yuki moaned and started bucking a little bit. He then started trailing down more and massaged one of her breast with his left hand while he took the right one into his mouth and massaged it with his tongue. He then started going down even more and started licking her. Yuki moaned as Tobi pushed the wet mussel into her and started moving it around to look for a certain spot. He knew he hit it when she moaned out his name deeply. He then positioned himself at her entrance and slowly went in. He then got into a steady pace, hitting the spot every time.

"T-t-tobi, fa-aster!" Yuki begged. He complied and started going faster, hitting deep in her every time. Yuki was on the edge, but then Tobi hit deeper into her and she climaxed.

"TOBI!!" Yuki screamed, Tobi felt her mussels clench around him and that sent him over the edge. He climaxed and then collapsed next to Yuki.

"I love you, Tobi-kun." Yuki said before going to a deep sleep.

"Tobi loves you too, Yuki-chan." Tobi then joined Yuki in the sleep of the dead. Off in the distance, Zetsu was very happy that she got to see that in person and video taped it. She then saw how late it was and took out a sleeping bag and went into a light sleep. When she woke up, she noticed that the door was broken down and Yuki and Tobi were gone.

"What happened?" she mumbled to herself as she ate a quick piece of toast. She then saw that they were just being relatedly drugged because she left the pot and crank smoking. She put on a ski mask and locked them back into the room and teleported into the room. She then saw that they were halfway done another round of sex already. Once they fell asleep, she force fed Yuki a birth control pill so that she wouldn't blame her for doing this in the first place. Its just that evil Zetsu wanted some good, free, porn and knew that Yuki and Tobi were the only ones having sex in the hideout. So what better way to get free porn than get them high, into a place where nobody will notice they are gone for a while! Well, maybe the kids, but who cares! Wait, what if Tsuki finds out that she tricked her? Well, she would think of that later. Now was the time for video taping Tobi and Yuki.

Zetzu made sure to get some extra tape in case she used it all up in taping the porn, and she didn't want to have to tape over any.

Back in the kitchen, Tsuki was waiting for Yuki so they could start dinner. "Maybe I should go get her." Tsuki left for Yuki's room. Once she opened the door, she found the purple demention.

"Oh yeah. I totally forgot!" Tsuki then turned the demention back into hell and saw Tobi and Yuki having sex on the ground. They had a nice little crowd of demons and wolves.

"Ah! Oh god! My innocent mind! It has been tainted!" Tsuki turned to see Dark Zetzu taping the event. "YOU! YOU TRICKED ME! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Tsuki yelled as she tackled the dark plant girl. Tsuki turned Zetzu into a lamp post with a head.

"WTF?!" Zetzu tried to get away before the wrath of Tsuki obliterated her.

Tsuki looked back on the crowd to shoo them away, but then something caught her eye. "REIZO!" she screamed as she saw Reizo in the crowd, gaping at the sight.

Yuki snapped out of the trance she was in at the mention of her son. "Huh...?" Yuki then saw what she was doing and quickly tried to cover herself. Luckily, Tsuki had gotten them some clothes. "YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Yuki yelled as she saw lamppost Zetzu. "Tsuki, get Reizo out of here!" Yuki then pulled out a hammer and began to beat Zetzu into nothingness.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?! YOU COULD HAVE MENTALLY SCARRED MY SON!" Yuki yelled as she impaled Zetzu.

While Yuki tore Zetzu to shreds, Tsuki went to check on the toddlers. She found them in Mariko's room. "Hey!" Tsuki greeted. Mariko ran up to Her aunt and hugged her leg.

"What happened to Mommy and Daddy?" the little girl asked. Tsuki could see the confusion written all over poor little Mariko's face.

"Uhhh...uhhh...Why don't you go ask uncle 'Tachi?" Tsuki suggested.

" 'Kay!" Mariko then ran off to find Itachi.

Tsuki sighed. "Kids are fun, but these kind of things put me off."

The little toddlers ran off to find their uncle but only found a crying man in the corner of the living room. The man looked like Itachi, but he had Sasuke's hair. "Uncle Sasuke! Do you know where Uncle Itachi went?" Reizo asked.

"I'M NOT SASUKE!" Itachi yelled.

"But you have uncle Sasuke's hair, and that means you are uncle Sasuke." Mariko said.

"Uncle 'Tachi has long, prettyful hair." Reizo said. "And you don't."

Itachi's face turned red with anger. He despised being compared to his little brother.

"I AM NOT SASUKE!!" Itachi yelled for the second time today. Sasuke then heard someone call his name and came running down into the living room.

"What?" Sasuke then saw he was besides himself...literally. He then started snickering, then full out laughing. But them he stopped and thought of a cool remark.

"You trying to steal my smexiness, Itachi?" He said in his normal cold manner. Itachi fumed, but the argument was stopped by Mariko.

"Uncle Sasuke!! Will you please tell me what happened to mommy and daddy?" Mariko asked. They both turned to the little girl and knelt down.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Sasuke asked in a sugar coated tone. She then took out a picture that she got from evil Zetsu and showed it to them. Both brothers blushed at what was on the picture.

"Auntie Tsuki told me to ask you what they were doing. Will you please tell me?" Mariko said in an ignorant tone that only a three year old girl could pull off. The picture was of Tobi and Yuki having sex in the purple demention and Zetsu was in the foreground giving a thumbs up.

"Uhhhhh..." Sasuke was embarrassed beyond belief at this point, but Itachi was used to giving the talk because he gave it to Sasuke when they were little and Sasuke stumbled into their parents room during 'watch Barnie and stay in the living room all night' night.

"They were having sex." Itachi said straight out. Sasuke looked at him like he was crazy.

"You weren't supposed to tell them THAT!!" Sasuke said angrily._ 'Great! Now we'll have to explain that to them! I'm still scarred from that little experience during don't disturb the parents night!!'_ Sasuke thought angrily. He then looked down at the two confused toddlers...well, one at least. Reizo was just smiling a pervy smile that could make him look like the son of Jariya. Apparently, before Hidan gave him the playboy, he gave him the talk (Perverted style!). Sasuke was as red as a tomato at this point and Itachi was just looking at them with a straight face that showed that he didn't know what Sasuke was so embarrassed about.

"You see kids, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...wait, they don't need to be a mommy and a daddy...or love each other at all!..." Sasuke tried to tell them, but Itachi intervened.

"When a boy and a girl get horny, they take off all their clothes and then the boy sticks his penis into the girl's vagina. This is called sex and is usually preformed by couples and prostitutes. It is also usually done in private areas like bedrooms or other closed areas." Itachi explained without even stuttering

"But Hidan told me that it feels really good when your with a sexy woman." Reizo said. He then pointed at Yuki in the picture.

"He also said that my mommy and Auntie Tsuki are the definitions of sexiness and that he was jealous of Uncle Deidara and Daddy." Reizo said. Now Itachi was arguing about what true sexiness was.

"Yes it does feel good. VERY GOOD. But Hidan was wrong. Its true that your mom and Auntie Tsuki are sexy, but I'm even sexier." Itachi said as he ran his hand through his non-exsistant afro.

Tsuki walked in and pulled Itachi's now short hair. "Now tell me, WHY are you putting ideas into my nephew's head?" Tsuki asked sweetly as she pulled harder.

"What are you talking about? I'm telling them what sex is." Itachi said as he tried to escape from Tsuki's grasp. Now, she didn't want to do this, but the kids had to find out sometime, and they were probably gonna go nuts with what Itachi told them and lose their virginity at like, five years old. Which was very BAD.

"Kids, you are not allowed to have sex. It feels good, but it can do bad things to you." Tsuki said. "It can get you bad diseases, and get girls pregnant. I haven't had any children, but I know it hurts very much. Sex also hurts a lot for a while if it is your first time." Tsuki said.

"If it hurts and can give you disease, why do people have sex?" Mariko asked.

"Because it feels good after your first time, and it is where babies come from so when a couple want to have kids, it is kind of needed to do that." Tsuki said. "But you don't want to have kids until you are older, because childbirth is painful and raising a child is difficult." Tsuki explained.

"Oh. Have you ever had sex?" Mariko asked. Tsuki blushed a little.

"No." Mariko looked at her in a way only a toddler could.

"How come?" She asked oh so innocently.

_'DANM THAT TODDLER AND HER CURIOSITY!' _Tsuki thought. "Uh, because...um..." You could feel her getting more nervous from across the room. "Because I am more responsible than that and I'm not ready for that kind of relationship? I don't know." Tsuki sat down to ponder on this. "Hmmm...I guess I haven't thought of it. Never before had I ever had those kinds of need or want. I just traveled so much that I forgot all about that."

Tsuki talked to herself for a while before going off to her room. "I need to get that off my mind. It's like, stuck and I can't think straight! Thanks a lot guys! I can't even get work done when I am thinking on other things." Tsuki mumbled as she left.

"O...k then?" Sasuke backed away a little from the hallway Tsuki had just left from. "Is she always like that?"

"No, but she can be at times." Itachi said.

"Oh, now what were we talking about?"Sasuke asked. HE never was good at remembering things. (A/N: But he can remember important things. Or completely retarded things...)

"We were explaining sex to the children" Itschi said calmly. "But that's over now so we can do something else."

"Okay, then how did you get short hair against your will? Nobody can get a scratch on you, so how did someone do that to you?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, this is how it went..."

_Flashback_

_Itachi was sitting in the living room when Hidan came in. "Hey Itachi. Do you know how to impress Tsuki so I can get with her? I mean, you are the guy people come to right?" Hidan asked._

"_Yes, yes I am, but you don't have a shot with her. You're not smexy enough. I, on the other hand, am just too smexy for her." Itachi said smugly._

_A second after Itachi said that, Tsuki walked in with Deidara. "Excuse me? Your not as smexy as a pig" Tsuki said. A muffin appeared in Tsuki's hand. She took a bite of it. "And you taste bad too." she handed the muffin to Kisame who ate it happily. She thought it was great._

"_How would you know how I taste by eating a muffin?" Itachi asked. He then noticed his ponytail was gone. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Itachi demanded._

"_I made a muffin out of material from your person. And I'm not giving it back. You will just have to wait for it to grow out." Tsuki Then got a cupcake. "Deidara though, tastes delicious!" _

_Deidara searched for his ponytail and found that it was gone. "Hey!" _

"_One minute." Tsuki grew out Deidara's hair out, but it was smoother, shiner, softer and just as fluffy. Deidara calmed down. "All better now. Let's leave these non-smexy people." Tsuki dragged Deidara off._

"_He's lucky. He doesn't even have to try! So unfair." Hidan whined._

"_Too bad." Itachi Went to his room to sulk over his lost hair. "It took me years to grow out my hair." _

_End Falshback_

"And that's how it happened." Itachi said sadly. He wanted his long hair back now. Sasuke was a little confused on how she did that without touching him.

"...how?" Sasuke asked. He didn't know about the girls powers, all he knew about them are their names, relations, and that they are annoying and powerful. Itachi told him to sit down because what he is about to hear is very surprising.

"Sasuke, the girls are so powerful that even I tremble at their power. Yuki is even a goddess! Tsuki has the power to transform matter into any shape, state, or density. That is why none of the other members tell them off and also why they are here. Leader thought it was a good idea to be on the god's good side, but then they found out that she had a sister. So now, Yuki and Tsuki are here." Itachi explained. Sasuke didn't believe a word of it.

"Why are you lying to me? If that were true, then I would already be dead." Sasuke said smugly.

"If you don't believe me, go into Yuki's room." Itachi then took Sasuke into the hallway where all the bedrooms were located. He opened a door and Sasuke couldn't believe his eyes. There was a whole fire and brimstone universe with various torture devices thrown around in a random order and a giant palace in the distance. Itachi then tapped his shoulder.

"Lets give the kids a visit." He said. They then started running toward the palace. When they got there, they were stopped by the guards.

"Halt! Who art thou?" a big wolf said in a deep voice. Itachi and Sasuke introduced themselves as the smexiest brothers in exsistance. Of course they got denied, until Yuki came along and let them in.

"What are you guys doing here?" Yuki asked.

"I wanted to show Sasuke that you were the god of death." Itachi said.

"Oh! Well of course I am. Otherwise, I wouldn't live here in the palace in Hell." Yuki said.

"You know, it's kind of weird that you had kids but are the god of death." Sasuke stated.

"Tough cookies."

"Well, where are the kids?" Itachi asked.

"Oh, they left to eat cookies in the kitchen." Yuki said.

Itachi and Sasuke then left back to the hideout and into the kitchen to find Tsuki and Deidara eating cookies. "What are you doing here? Where are the kids?" Itaxhi asked.

"Oh1, they were here a minute ago, but they left to do a puzzle in the living room. So we ate the rest of their cookies." Tsuki said.

Itachi and Sasuke went into the living room to see Leader and Konan putting together a very complicated 3-D puzzle of the pentagon. Little desks and people included! And you had to get all the inside walls and windows, and it was an exact replica. "Why were the kids doing such a complicated puzzle, and where did they go now?" Sasuke asked.

"They were here a second ago, and we had just begun to pick up where they left off. They said they would go bother Kisame, and she is in the bar." Leader said as he tried to fit a piece on the puzzle. It was already half-finished by the toddlers, and in under a minute!

"Oh no! What if Kisame gets too drunk and offers the kids a drink?" Itachi panicked as he ran for the bar. Sasuke followed soon after.

At the bar, Kisame was drinking while the twins were up on the stage singing 'cartoon heroes'.

"We are the cartoon heroes!" Mariko sang perfectly for this song. Highly pitched and like the toddler she was.

Itachi was relieved that the toddlers were okay and went to drink and maybe flirt with Kisame. Sauke just grabbed a seat and watched the kids perform. Reizo's voice was not deep enough for the part he sang though.

After a while, Itachi noticed that Reizo was wearing a purple tank top with pink shorts while on stage. "OH GOD REIZO!" Yuki heard Itachi and ran into the bar.

Yuki saw her son and immediately changed him into more boy-ish clothes. "Don't ever wear that kind of stuff again! I don't want you to turn out gay." Yuki said. Reizo looked confused.

"What's gay?" HE asked. "It's when two guys love each other." Yuki said.

"I love uncle 'Tachi." Reizo stated.

"Not in that kind of way. That's family love. The kind of love I'm talking about is like the love I feel for your father." Yuki explained.

"Oh. You're right. I wouldn't want to get all huggy-kissy with uncle 'Tachi." Reizo said.

Itachi heard this and got all defensive. "Who wouldn't want to get with me?" Itachi asked smugly as he sipped his drink.

Suddenly, all the girls of the Akatsuki were in the room, and Kisame was thrown out. All the girls were dressed in clothes that barely covered them. "We all don't want you. You're not smexy enough for us." they all said.

Itachi was taken aback by this, but quickly returned to his cool smug self. "You're not smexy enough for ME." He shot back. All the girls started to dance to the song 'I'm bringing sexy back'. This was really smexy, but Itachi would never admit that.

"You couldn't get us if you tried." Tsuki said as she walked over to the door and let all the guys who weren't already in the room into the party. Once everyone was in, the girls all danced with the the guys. Konan with Pein, White Zetzu with Kakuzu, Dark Zetzu with Hidan, Tsuki with Deidara and Yuki with Tobi.

A part of Itachi died inside as he watched all these smexy girls ignore him for, as he thought, less smexy than himself men.

The toddlers decided they should dance too and joined the party. Yuki quickly separated them. "You will not join this party. It's for grown ups." Yuki then took them into the living room to watch nick jr. (A/N: Don't own nick jr, and never want to)

For some reason, Sasori was outside of hell and was wandering around when he found the toddlers watching that weird face guy. "NOOO!" Sasori shut off the TV. "DON'T EVER WATCH THAT EVIL FACE EVER AGIAN!" Sasori shouted.

Yuki looked a little confused. "Okay, one. Why can't they watch face? And two, what are you doing outside of hell?" Yuki asked.

"There is a very good reason they shouldn't watch face, and I wanted some Pringles." Sasori said.

"And what might this reason be?" Yuki asked.

"Well, I'll just tell you what happened." Sasori then began to tell a story about long ago. (because face is ancient. And because Sasori was just that old...)

_Flashback_

_When Sasori was a little kid, he would always play pranks on Orochimaru. Sasori was going to Orochmaru's house for whatever reason and found that Orochimaru watching face on nick jr._

"_Look! I can change color! What color am I now?" Face said as he changed from pink to blue._

"_You are the smexiest color eva!" Orochimaru flirted with the TV._

"_That's right kids! I'm the color blue!" Face then pulled out a banana and started to eat it. "Remember to eat your fruits and veggies!"_

"_Oh, you taste better than any foods face!" Orochimaru then pulled off his pants and began to masturbate in front of the TV._

_By now, Sasori was thinking 'WTF?' before he ran in. "STOP THAT! IT'S SICK AND WRONG!" Sasori yelled._

"_You're just jealous of my relationship with the smexy face guy." Orocimaru defended, his shorts were still down._

"_Pull your pants back up!" Sasori yelled as he turned away slightly, thoroughly disgusted by the sight. _

"_NEVER!" Orochimaru then pranced around the leaf village pantsless._

_End Flashback_

Yuki was shocked. "Oh...GOD!" Yuki then swore to never let her kids watch nick jr. ever again.

"What is in a guy's pants that they have to hide it?" Mariko just HAD to ask.

Reizo pulled off his pants and underwear. "This." He flashed proudly.

"PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON RIGHT NOW!" Yuki scolded.

"NEVER!" Reizo ran away.

"Mariko, meet me in the library in the palace. 'Kay?" Yuki said before she raced off after her messed up son. After she caught him, put him in some overalls, and dragged him into the library, she started talking to the kids.

"Sex is something that two people who are in love do when they want a baby..." Yuki explained. She then took Mariko and stood her up.

"You see, you two are little kids. When you turn into adults, girls grow things called breast. Mariko is too little to have them. Girls start growing them when they are about eleven or twelve. Girls also get this thing that happens to them once a month called a period. That is when she bleeds out her sensitive place for a few days. That's just a sign that she is able to have kids..." Yuki then sat a now blushing Mariko down and stood Reizo up.

"Boys, on the other hand, have things called a penis. Its an appanage that all boys have. You see, it has two main purposes, to have sex and to urinate. Boys get theses things when there old enough called erections. When Reizo is about thirteen, he would probably wake up with one and start...'touching' it. Don't. Every time you do that a kitten dies." Yuki lectured. Reizo then started blushing harder than Mariko.

"Usually, they are encouraged, or you wake up with them. Its perfectly natural. Boys don't have as many down sides when it comes to bodily functions, except they grow nasty hair everywhere and they might get acne when they get older." Reizo then paled.

"NOOO!! I'LL BE A PIMPLY NERRRD!!" Reizo shouted and started running around.

"SIT DOWN NOW!!" Yuki commanded. Reizo then sat down. Off in the shadows, Tobi was watching Yuki teach the children. She was still wearing her raving clothes, so she was in a cropped and ribbed bright yellow tank top, and a tiny barley-covers-my-panties short pink skirt. _'DAMN SHE'S HOT!' _Tobi's perverted side screamed. Tobi didn't even know he had a perverted side. _'WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!?'_ his rational side shouted. Now he was really freaked out. He was arguing with himself! _'I got here the same time Yuki did.'_ his perverted side said smugly. Just then, Tobi noticed that he was being watched. It was Itachi with a smug look on his face like he was just told that he was the smexiest beast alive.

"Itachi? What are you doing here?" Tobi asked. Itachi looked at him straight in the eye...hole.

"What does it look like? I'm spying on Yuki. She is so smexy that I would even do her." Itachi said smugly. If you could see under Tobi's mask, you would see that he looked about ready to kill Itachi. Yuki then appeared behind Itachi seemingly out of nowhere.

"Do you want to say that to my FACE!?" Yuki said stressing the word face. Itachi then turned around and pinned her to the ground with strange looking kuni. She was stuck to the floor by her neck, and wrists. Itachi was working on her ankles and Yuki was trying to get free. Tobi was just standing there starstruck. He didn't know that Itachi would do THAT! By the time Tobi finally responded, he was trying to shred her skirt with some more kuni.

"GET OFF OF HER!!" Tobi shouted in a deeper voice. Itachi didn't listen and started going at her shirt. _'M__ental notes: One, burn all of Yuki's clothes that don't cover her well enough. Two, get her some more. Wait...that made no sense!! Oh well. I'll just encourage it when its just the two of us.'_ Yes, Tobi's perverted side was growing stronger every day. Soon he'll turn into a full on pervert! Well, not that because she didn't like pervs. But still! Tobi then ripped Itachi off of her and challenged him to a fight. Before Yuki could do anything, she needed some other clothes so that these wouldn't fall apart any second. She ran up to her room and changed into a white tank and some baggy shorts. Sasori was going up to tell her about the fight breaking out downstairs, and walked in on her when she started changing.

"Oh, hi Sasori!" Yuki greeted cheerfully. She then changed quickly and went to stop the fight. While she was doing that, Tobi and Itachi's fight happened faster than you can say 'flubbernuggets!' Itachi got up and Tobi took off his mask.

"Wait...I know who you are now! Aren't you my annoying little crybaby cousin? Obito?" Itachi said. Tobi then looked absolutely pissed.

"I AM NOT A CRYBABY! Your just a suck up!" Tobi said the last part snobbishly. Before Itachi could even respond, he was burned with the most advanced fire jutsu he's ever seen! All his hair singed, even his eyebrows and body hair, and half of his brain. Yuki then came down and saw what happened to our little perverted Uchiha. They decided to go upstairs to throw out her torn up clothes and found Sasori in the door way. He was just kinda standing there all wide eyed and drooling.

"What's up with him?" Tobi said in a deeper voice and his mask still off. Yuki just stared at him.

"WHAT?!" Tobi then noticed that he the way he was talking and that he didn't have his mask on.

"Uhhhhh, I can explain!" Tobi then saw that Yuki was gone.

"Wha?!" He then noticed that the closet door was opened and the light was on. He went inside and saw Yuki in her raving outfit area. Apparently, the outfit she wore today was one of the more modest ones. She even had outfits that were just see through tight dresses with stripes over the necessary areas. While Tobi was gapping at the many inappropriate clothes, Yuki was looking for one of the many duplicate masks she had made in case he left his somewhere or broke it. Once she found him, she kissed him lightly on him cheek and handed him the mask.

"What's this for?" Tobi asked as he took the mask.

"Well, I know how you don't like people looking at your face so I had Tsuki make..."Yuki was cut off by a very weird acting Sasori. He just tapped her on the shoulder. When she turned around, he kinda just started yelling.

"AHHHHHH!!" He then tore open his shirt and pointed to his chest.

"AHHHHHHH!!" Then Sasori did something really strange for him. He then went up and hugged Yuki's leg like he was a scared little toddler.

"AHHHHHHHH!!" Oh yeah, and he was still yelling.

"CALM DOWN! YOU'RE THE HEAD TORTURER FOR GOD SAKE!" Yuki yelled. Sasori stood up and pointed at his chest again. This time Yuki noticed that it half was gone. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" Yuki was shocked.

"I WAS TORTUREING SOMEONE AND THEY BIT ME! THEY BIT HALF MY CHEST OFF!" Sasori panicked. "HOW DID THEY DO THAT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Yuki yelled.

Tobi just watched from the sidelines until he got an idea. "We could ask Tsuki to fix him." He suggested.

The yelling and screaming stopped for a while. "YEAH!" Yuki then disappeared and reappeared a second later with Tsuki tied up for some reason.

"WTF?! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TIE ME UP!" Tsuki screamed.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Yuki said rather calmly. "But right now YOU GOT TO FIX POOR SASORI!"

Tsuki looked over at Sasori to see half his chest bitten off. "DUDE! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Tsuki asked.

"JUST HEAL ME AND I'LL TELL YOU!" Sasori yelled.

"FINE!" Tsuki healed Sasori's chest. "Now tell me what happened."

"I was torturing someone, and they decided to bite me. I don't know HOW he did it, they just DID." Sasori said.

"Okay. Now, if anyone needs me, I'm gonna be in the kitchen eating whipped cream." Tsuki left Hell and did just that.

"Hmm, that sounds delicious!" Yuki then followed Tsuki into the kitchen. Tobi and Sasori followed them and found them eating anything BUT whipped cream.

" I thought you were going to eat whipped cream, what's all this junk?" Sasori asked.

"We did." Tsuki said as she pointed to a pile of at least 20 cans of whipped cream. They looked a little closer and saw Yuki lying under the pile.

"What happened to Yuki?" Tobi asked.

"She got high. I, on the other hand, don't get high for some odd reason. She was laughing so hard, she passed out on the floor while I ate the rest of the whipped cream." Tsuki bit into a potato chip with chocolate all over it. (A/N: It's delicious!)

"O...kay then?"Sasori said before he went back to hell and Tobi got Yuki off of the floor.

"See you later Tsuki." Tobi left with Yuki to go back to the palace.

Tsuki looked around to make sure nobody was around and brought out some sake. She drank some and began to sing, 'cause she loved to sing. "You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat. You can feel the cousins but you can't have a seat. You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim. You can feel the punishment but you can't commit the sin. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever is to blame." Tsuki sang.

"You can build the mansion, but you just can't live in. You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win. So break the rules, and let's count the cost. The insecurity is the the thing that won't get lost. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever is to blame."

"You can see the summit, but you can't reach it. It's the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit. Doctor says you're cured, but you still feel the pain. Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever. Is to blame. No one ever, is to blame. No one ever, is to blame." Tsuki finished. She loved that song. She would always try to figure out what they meant.

This song was about a guy who loved a girl, but she loved another guy who loved the girl back. Now the first guy was saying that it was okay, but he still felt bad about it. "Poor guy. I wish I could make it better for him." Tsuki took a sip of her sake. "Well, too bad." She then staggered into the living room and found fluffy leader and Konan working on the most elaborate 3-D puzzle of the pentagon crash on 9-11 she's ever seen! Leader stuck in the last piece of the air plain and then took out some spray glue.

"How long were you guys working on that?" Tsuki wondered.

"About two seconds. Why?" Konan replied. Tsuki was astounded to say the least. They built a two million piece puzzle in less than two seconds!

"HOW?!" Tsuki said bewildered.

"Well, the toddlers were bored, so they gave us the last piece and told us to glue it together when we were done." Leader explained. Then he took out a dough nut. Tsuki was then fed up with his oh-so-fluffyness. She transformed her eyes so they possessed the sharingan.

"Oh, Leader-sama!" Pein, being an idiot, looked her right in the eye and was now in a place where the floor was moving and the dough nut he was eating was floating in front of him, just out of his grasp.

"RUN YOU LITTLE MUNCHIKIN! RUN FOR YOUR SUGARY DELIGHTS!" Then, hundreds of cakes, twinkies, and doughnuts were floating in front of Pein.

"DELICIOUS FOOD!" Pein immediately began to run for all he was worth, but the faster he ran, the faster the floor moved.

After what seemed to be days, Leader snapped out of his trance, at least one hundred pounds lighter. He was sweating like a pig. "WHERE DID ALL THE GOOD STUFFS GO?!" Pein demanded. He worked for his twinkies! (A/N: Don't own twinkies I don't even like them HEP: HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE THE TWINKIE!)

"You were TOO FLUFFY!" Tsuki said as she walked off. In reality, it had only been about a minute. Tsuki put her eyes back to normal and went back to her room.

"I should work later. I'm still a little too drunk to do work." Tsuki then passed out on her bed. Back in the palace, Yuki woke up and started laughing like a lunatic. Poor Tobi had to snap her out of it before the kids showed up.

"Yuki-chan! Yuki!! Listen to me!! You need to calm down!!" Tobi was telling her, but it didn't work. She was literally bouncing off the walls of her bedroom. Then she glomped Tobi and started making out with him. Tobi then took a quick look at the door and thanked god that he locked it so that the kids didn't wander into the room and get the wrong idea. He then saw that Yuki somehow got stripped down into her underwear while she was still on top of him. Then she took out a kuni and slashed his shirt off. Now poor Tobi was half naked, half turned on, with a nearly naked Yuki on top of him, so he can't get up. Well...he can, but it would hurt Yuki because she would end up falling on the floor. Oh, and did I forget to mention that Yuki was now gently working on his pants. I say gently because he didn't notice her taking them off until he heard a zipping noise.

"Y-Yuki-ch-chan w-wh-what are you g-go-going to do?" He knew what she was going to do, but just wanted to make sure because he thought that she was still partially high. She then shredded the sides of his underwear. By this point, Tobi's newly developed perverted side took over and stopped Yuki and took out some ropes and tied her down to the bed. Yuki struggled to get free, but it was useless.

"Relax. Its my turn now." Tobi said. He then walked over and took the kuni that she was using and put it on the side table. He then released the rope and used chakara strings to make her walk over to the closet and go into his part of the gigantic room. Once there, he took out a black duffel bag. They walked back to the room and then Tobi put Yuki back onto the bed and tied her up. He then opened the bag and took out a blindfold.

"Waaahhh!! Let me goooo!" Yuki sounded like a whining toddler. Too bad she didn't look like a whining toddler, because Tobi just ignored her talking. He then took the kuni and snapped the straps off her bra and panties. She just kept telling him to let her go, so he took out a thick piece of fabric and tied it over her mouth. That defiantly shut her up. She just tried to fall asleep, because she wasn't used to this kind of thing. Once that happened, she felt something warm on her stomach. What she didn't know is that it was Tobi cleaning up some blood from a minor (as in paper cut) cut that he got from her cutting up his clothes. As soon as he was done that, he continued what he was doing.

Tobi began to suck at the base of Yuki's neck, causing a moan to erupt from the girl. He continued until there was a deep red spot on Yuki's neck. Tobi then trailed down to Yuki's breasts. He licked Yuki's erect nipples, teasing her. Tobi sucked her breast while he slid his other hand down to Yuki's wet entrance.

Tobi took off the thick fabric in her mouth. "Beg me, Yuki-chan."

"TOBI! Pl-please...take me. NOW!" Yuki bucked, she needed him inside her.

"Good girl." Tobi slid his fingers into her. Yuki moaned and bucked to make him go deeper into her. "You know how to get it." Tobi was having SO much fun with this.

"TAKE ME NOW GOD DAMNIT!" Yuki demanded. She did not like the teasing at all.

Tobi smirked as he slid his fingers back out of her. He licked them clean before he positioned himself at Yuki's entrance. Tobi entered her, slowly. This was pure torture for poor Yuki. "Tobi! Please!" Yuki begged.

Tobi just smirked some more as he quickened his pace, getting a steady beat. Yuki was bucking to get him as deep as he could go. "T-tobi!" Yuki moaned. She could feel her climax coming.

As Yuki's muscles clenched around his member, Tobi could feel himself on the edge. "TOBI!" Yuki climaxed and sent him over the edge.

"YUKI!" Tobi moaned loudly as he came into his lover. He collapsed beside Yuki, who was panting from near exhaustion. Yuki fell asleep a minute later, and Tobi cut the ropes that held Yuki to the bed.

Tobi pulled Yuki close to his body and fell asleep. (A/N: This is why they don't want teens to get high. It causes THAT)

&&&&&&

Yayz! Okay, these chapters are getting too long...Oh well! That was probably the best lemon I ever did, and that's not really saying much, but STILL.

HEP- Well, you just suck at writing.

Lml- (cries) I know. I was hoping you wouldn't notice.

HEP- did you really think that as your co. writer and reviser, I WOULDN'T NOTICE?!

Lml- maybe...

Itachi- Yeah!! You suck so hard that your mama is fat!

HEP- You no make no sense!!

Lml- Yeah! And Nobody asked you, 'Tachi!! And you started that twisted little lemon HEP!! YOU SHOULDN'T BE COMPLAINING!!

HEP- WELL I DID AND IT MATTERS!

Lml- Okay! Oh, and any thing that I forgot to disclaim that isn't mine, I don't own it. But I own Tsuki & Yuki & Reizo & Mariko! Isn't that GREAT?! -

HEP- not really...

Lml- SHUT UP! Anyway, review or I will chop my chapters in half and post them just as far apart. SO REVIEW OR DEAL WITH IT! Byez!


	16. Holiday Hppenings

Woot!! This is teh'HappyEmoPuppies! Neither I nor my lil' sis own anything in this chappie! Wait...we own the toddlers and the sisters and the plot!

Lml-HEP?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

HEP-Writing a chappie, why?

Lml- just make sure to cut it in half when your done

HEP- Kayzes!!

ON WITH THE 100 PERCENT HAPPYEMOPUPPY-NESS!!

$&$&$&

When Yuki woke up, she noticed that Tobi picked up on her little habit of hugging things while he slept. So she tried to get out of the grasp of him, but not wake him up. When she did finally get loose, she went to the bathroom to shower. Yuki started the shower and saw that she had marks on her wrist from the ropes.

"Greatness!" Yuki then examined the marks and noticed that she also had them on her ankles. She got into the shower and thanked god that hot water helps sores. In the bedroom, Tobi was waking up because he heard the sound of the shower running and saw that Yuki wasn't there. He walked over to the bathroom and joined her in the shower. She was rinsing out the shampoo in her hair when he quietly got in and hugged her from behind.

"AHHH! WHO DARE-ETH?!...Oh, Hi Tobi!" Yuki said as she took out some more shampoo and lathered it in his hair. She then took out the conditioner and ran a little through her short hair, being careful not to stick any in her ears. After they were done in the shower, Tobi dressed in his normal attire, while Yuki got dressed in an old baggy t-shirt with a pleated old gray striped gray sweater that covered her arms very well and a pair of long jeans that were a little baggy on her. She then called Tsuki and asked her to change the tips of her hair to black like the rest of her hair.

"Why are you dressed like that?" Tobi asked while they went to wake up the kids.

"I kinda have marks on my arms and legs from last night." Yuki then pulled up her sleeve to prove her point. Surely enough there was a thick red band running around her wrist.

"OMG! I am soo sorry!" Tobi quickly apologized in his normal voice. He stopped trying to pretend in front of Yuki because she already knew.

_Flashback_

_she was keeping records in the library of special cases. (People who were supposed to die, but didn't) She dropped some of the books and one opened to a page with a picture of a boy in orange goggles and next to it was a guy in an orange swirly mask. The case had taken up five pages in the book, and that's a lot considering that all the other cases take up only half a page. She read the case and thought it was very sad. Then she saw more pictures in the profile. The Yodame Hokage, Hatake Kakashi, and half a picture of a girl with red marks on her face and only a first name under it. Rin's picture was snatched away by one of the puppies before she could get a good look at the name or girl. Yuki picked up the book and then noticed the picture of a man in a swirly mask._

"_Tobi was a special case? Wow, I learn more things each day!" Yuki cheered before putting the book back into the massive shelf._

_End Flashback_

Once the two reached Mariko's door, they heard a fit of giggles and strange music than went a little like this...

**Are you ready kids?**

Aye Aye, captain!

**I can't hear you!**

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!!

**OHHHH!!!! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?**

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!**_

**Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!**

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!**_

**If nautical nonsense be something you wish...**

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!**_

**THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH!!**

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS**_

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS**_

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS**_

_**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS,**_

_**SPONEGBOB--! SQUAREPANTS!!!!!!!**_

Yuki opened the door and saw the two little kids watching the most famous sea critter in the whole world. She slowly sneaked up behind them and started tickling them. Tobi came up and joined the little party that was starting to take place. Yuki then sat up and watched the cartoon with the toddlers. In fact, Yuki rather enjoyed cartoons and watched them whenever she was bored. This is where her weirdness came from, she watched too many children shows and around the time she was thirteen, she kinda...how should I put this...'evolved' past the need of drugs because she was always in her own little lava lamp of a world the whole time. Eventually, Tobi saw the time and turned off the stupid box and literally dragged Yuki away from the cartoon generator.

"Come on, Yuki! You promised to make French toast for the Akatsuki today and they are waiting!!" Tobi said as Yuki struggled to break away from his grip.

"WAHHH!!! LET ME WATCH THE GAY SPONGE ON HIS MANY ADVENTURES!!" Yuki complained. It even got so bad that Tobi had to use chakara strings to get her out of the room. He picked up using this puppetry trick when Sasori was still alive and he trained with him, and now he was happy that he picked up the little trick because that was the only way to move Yuki from her spot when she wanted to do something different. Once they got downstairs, Yuki took Mariko into the sidecar she had built into each of their motorcycles and made sure she put on her helmet and all that stuff while Tobi did the same with Reizo. Once they got to the hideout, Yuki started on the on the French toast and Tobi put them in front of the giant face guy. The kids talked to him like he was a real person until Yuki came out to say that the toast was done, and she saw the two playing with the weird face.

"NOOO!! DON'T WATCH THAT!!!!" Yuki then ran up and turned off the television. Tobi then ran into the room and saw two complaining kids and a Yuki covered head to toe with cinnamon, confectioner sugar, and other powder spices that go into French toast.

"WOAH!! WHAT HAPPENED!?" A very disturbed Sasuke barged in.

"I SAW THEM WATCHING FACE!!! BAD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU WATCH FACE!!" Yuki panicked. She didn't want her children turning out like Orochimaru!

"Why don't you want them to watch face? I did when I was little." Sasuke said like it was nothing. Yuki then dragged him into the kitchen and told him the childhood experience that Sasori told her. Sasuke paled and told the kids to never watch face ever again or else he'll eat your head. The toddlers just shrugged and flipped the channel to cartoon network and saw Cow and Chicken. But the T.V. was then instantly turned off and the kids were told that breakfast was ready. The kids ate near the spectorvision while the adults ate in the dining room.

"What happened to you?" Kisame asked and pointed to Yuki's wrist. Yuki had to take off her hoodie and hoped that her t-shirt was enough to cover her arms. Reizo heard that something happened to his mommy and came running over to see Itachi holding up Yuki's arm and looking at it closely with his sharingan. Yuki was blushing madly the whole time and blushed even harder when she heard Itachi say one of the three possibilities.

"Either she's into self mutilation, she wore tight hair bands on her arm yesterday, or she was tied up for some reason." Itachi explained. Tsuki then took her napkin and made it into a Sherlock Holmes hat and stuck it on top of Itachi's head.

"Give me your other hand." Itachi commanded. Yuki shyly put her other hand into the air and they all saw the same mark on the other arm.

"Now stand up and roll up your pants." Itachi commanded.

"Do I have to?" Yuki whined. Itachi then gave her a cold stare, but she countered with a colder stare.

"Yes, you do." Itachi said like he was the greatest king of the world. Yuki then stood up and crossed her arms.

"You can't make me!! I will NOT roll up my pa-" Then Yuki felt a cold breeze come across her knees and looked down to see that Itachi shreded her pants, or now, short-shorts with the same weird looking kuni that he used to almost rape her. Itachi then smirked the biggest smirk the world had ever seen.

"Reizo, get out of here." Tobi commanded. Reizo then ran away to see the adventures of captain underpants.

"SOMEONE had a good time last night, right you two?" Itachi said in the most sarcastic voice that he could manage. Tsuki and Kisame blushed while the rest of the members laughed.

"AT LEAST TOBI AND I ARE HAVING SEX YOU PERVERTED LITTLE VERGINS!! Excluding Sasuke because he was raped by Orochimaru. THE REST OF YOU HAVE GOT TO GET A LIFE YOU LITTLE PENGUIN EATERS!!" Yuki shouted. That really shut them up for a little while.

"Did I just get called a person who enjoys eating penguins?" Leader said in a weirded out voice. He didn't like the fact that he just got called a penguin eater.

"Wait...how do you know we're virgins?" Itachi was a tad disturbed that this girl could know that by just looking at them. Tsuki, on the other hand, was proud of her virginity! Kisame was blushing so hard that she looked purple, and the rest were still stuck on the penguin eaters thing.

"Really? I know because you can't have sex with Kisame, Leader would hurt Konan, I KNOW that Hidan and Evil Zetsu are not virgins, and Kakuzu is probably too cheap to buy birth control pills or condoms for poor little Good Zetsu." Yuki stated. Kisame then took offence to her remark.

"How do YOU know that? Maybe Itachi and I already did...that and aren't virgins." Kisame said. Yuki just smirked.

"I KNOW THAT YOU TWO DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU DON'T CALL IT SEX MISS. THING-FISH-DUDE-GIRL!!" Yuki shouted. She then took the plates to the kitchen and went to watch cartoons with the kids.

"Wow. I would watch my back if I were you Kisame. You got her upset and you saw what happened to Leader because he didn't get her cotton candy." Tsuki warned. It was true too, because Leader still smelled like old shoes and chocolate milk.

"Well, I wish that she would kill that weird kid that pops up from time to time, un. HE'S JUST SO FRIGGIN ANNOYING!! UN!" Deidara said. Gaara then came out of the shadows and looked at him like he just got his cat smashed by an old person. (That happened to one of the Nikki-chan's ((me)) friends and they wouldn't stop crying for WEEKS!! OLD PERSONS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO DRIVE!!)

"AND HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE KILLED BY A BLOND HARED BLUE EYED GIRLY-GIRL!! IT WAS NOT FUN!!" Gaara shouted. He then disappeared as fast as he came.

"SEE, UN?! THAT KID IS TOO MYSTERIOUS, UN!!" Deidara shouted. Itachi then noticed that he had a weird hat on his head and took it off quickly like it was liquid fire. (ITS LIQUID FIIIIRRRRREEEE!!)

"HOW THE HELL DID THAT GET ON MY HEAD!?!" Itachi shouted. The toddlers then came into the room.

"Ohhhhhh! Uncle 'Tachi said a wordy dird!" They shouted in unison. Itachi just grumbled and left. The kids then saw the marks on their mommy's arm and legs.

"Mommy, what happened to you?" Mariko asked. She then touched one of the sores and Yuki recoiled harshly.

"OUCH!! Please don't do that. It hurts." Yuki said as she went into the kitchen to get some ice. She noticed that the two were following her and were constantly asking for an answer.

"TEELLLLLL UUUSSS!!!!" They both said. Yuki really didn't need two annoying kids yelling at her right now. She had a headache from last night and was tired. After she got some ointment and put it on her sores and got a gigantic cup of coffie, she sat down and the kids were still whining.

"FINE!! I'LL TELL YOU IF YOU STOP YELLING!! I was tied up with ropes last night and I tried to get out so now I have red burns on my arms and legs." Yuki hoped that they would stop asking questions, but her luck was on a fully paid vacation to Disney World!!

"Why were you tied up, mommy? Did you do something bad?" Mariko asked in a way only a three year old girl could.

"Uhhhh...Yes, I did. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!!" Yuki than ran off to find Tsuki to help her with her sores.

"Tsuki!! I need your help here!!" Yuki shouted. Tsuki than came out of her room.

"What is it? I was working on an experiment!" Tsuki sounded a little mad.

"The kids keep poking at my sores, so would you please heal them before I start bleeding? And would you change my hair back to normal?" Yuki asked. It is true that if you poke sores too much that the will start bleeding. Tsuki than changed Yuki's hair back, and fixed her sores so that the kids won't keep picking at them.

"Thanks Tsuki!!" Yuki then heard an alarm coming from Tsuki's room.

"OMG!! THE TURTLES!!" Tsuki apparently made it back in time because a big sigh was heard outside th door, along with various squeaks and chirping. Tsuki shouted victoriously.

"YES!! I HAVE CHANGED TURTLES INTO CHICKENS!!" Yuki shrugged and went with the kids to the karaoke bar. Yuki picked out a song she heard on the radio and played it. (When I Come Around by Green Day)

**I heard you crying loud,**

**All the way across town,**

**You've been searching for that someone,**

**And its me that's on the prowl,**

**While you sit around feeling sorry for yourself,**

**Well, don't get lonely now,**

**And wipe your whining eyes,**

**I'm just roaming for the moment,**

**Sleazin' my back yard so don't get so uptight,**

**You been thinking about ditching me,**

**No time to search the world around,**

**'Cause you know where I'll be found,**

**When I come around**

**I heard it all before,**

**So don't knock down my door,**

**I'm a loser and a user so I don't need an accuser,**

**to try to slag me down because I know your right,**

**So go do what you like,**

**Make sure to do it wise,**

**You might find out that your self doubt means nothing**

**was ever there**

**You can't go forcing something if its just**

**not right,**

**No time to search the world around,**

**'Cause you know where I'll be found,**

**When I come around**

**When I come around**

**No time to search the world around,**

**'Cause you know where I'll be found,**

**When I come around**

**When I come around**

**When I come around**

**When I come around**

Yuki then got off the stage and found that she had a little audience. Most of the members were in the bar, drinking and having a blast! The only ones not there were Itachi, Kisame, and Tsuki. Tsuki was working on her evolution project, and nobody really knew where Itachi and Kisame were. (They were probably working on their little virginity problem...) Mariko then took the stage and a bubblegum song came on. It went a little like this...

**Hi Barbie!**

**Hi Ken!**

**Wanna go for a ride?**

**Sure!**

**Hop in.**

**I'm a Barbie girl,**

**In a Barbie world,**

**Wrapped in plastic,**

**Its fantastic!**

**You can brush my hair,**

**Undress me everywhere,**

**Imagination, life is your creation!**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**I'm a Barbie girl,**

**In a Barbie world,**

**Wrapped in plastic,**

**Its fantastic!**

**You can brush my hair,**

**Undress me everywhere,**

**Imagination, life is your creation!**

**I'm a blond bimbo girl,**

**In a fantasy world,**

**Dress me up,**

**Make it tight,**

**I'm your dolly!**

**(Your my doll,**

**Rock and roll,**

**Feel the glamor and things,**

**Kiss me here,**

**Touch me there**

**Hanky-panky)**

**You can touch,**

**You can play,**

**If you say**

"**I'm always yours"**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**I'm a Barbie girl,**

**In a Barbie world,**

**Wrapped in plastic,**

**Its fantastic!**

**You can brush my hair,**

**Undress me everywhere,**

**Imagination, life is your creation!**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Ah-ah-ah-yeah**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**A****h-ah-ah-ye****ah**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**Make me walk,**

**Make me talk,**

**Do whatever you please,**

**I can act like a star,**

**I can beg on my knees,**

**(Come jump in,**

**bimbo friend,**

**let us do it again,**

**Hit the town,**

**fool around,**

**Lets go party!)**

**You can touch,**

**You can play,**

**If you say**

"**I'm always yours"**

**You can touch,**

**You can play,**

**If you say**

"**I'm always yours"**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Ah-ah-ah-yeah**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**A****h-ah-ah-yeah**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**I'm a Barbie girl,**

**In a Barbie world,**

**Wrapped in plastic,**

**Its fantastic!**

**You can brush my hair,**

**Undress me everywhere,**

**Imagination, life is your creation!**

**I'm a Barbie girl,**

**In a Barbie world,**

**Wrapped in plastic,**

**Its fantastic!**

**You can brush my hair,**

**Undress me everywhere,**

**Imagination, life is your creation!**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Ah-ah-ah-yeah**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**A****h-ah-ah-yeah**

**(Come on Barbie, lets go party)**

**Uuu-Ooh-Uuu**

**Oh, Ken, I'm having so much fun!**

**Well, Barbie, we're just getting started,**

**Oh, I love you Ken!**

The only one who was actually sober enough to tell that Mariko's song was highly inappropriate was Reizo. Everyone else was hitting the mixers and sake hard and were now in a drunk frenzy of who would sing next. Reizo took advantage of the giant group kinda pushing each other and turning into a giant group glomp looking thing. Some music started playing and Reizo sang in a toddler-ish voice.

**Your way too beautiful, girl**

**That's why you don't ever work,**

**You had me suicidal,**

**Suicidal,**

**When you said its over,**

**Damn, all these beautiful girls**

**They only want to do the dirt,**

**They'll have you suicidal,**

**Suicidal,**

**When they say its over,**

**See, it started at the park**

**Used to chill after dark,**

**Oh, when you took my heart**

**Is when we fell apart,**

**'Cause we both thought love last forever,**

**(last forever)**

**They say we're too young**

**to get ourselves sprung,**

**Oh we didn't care,**

**We made that vary clear,**

**They also said that we couldn't last forever,**

**(last forever)**

**See, its very divine,**

**your a one of a kind,**

**Yet you mash up my mind,**

**You have to get declined,**

**Oh, lord...**

**My baby is driving me crazy!**

**Your way too beautiful, girl**

**That's why you don't ever work,**

**You had me suicidal,**

**Suicidal,**

**When you said its over,**

**Damn, all these beautiful girls**

**They only want to do the dirt,**

**They'll have you suicidal,**

**Suicidal,**

**When they say its over,**

**It was back in '99,**

**Watching movies all the time,**

**Oh, when I went away,**

**For doin' my first crime,**

**And I never thought that we was gonna see each other**

**(See each other)**

**Oh, when I came out,**

**Miami moved me down south**

**Oh I'm with my girl,**

**Who I thought was my world,**

**But it turned out that she wasn't the girl for me**

**(girl for me)**

**Your way too beautiful, girl**

**That's why you don't ever work,**

**You had me suicidal,**

**Suicidal,**

**When you said its over,**

**Damn, all these beautiful girls**

**They only want to do the dirt,**

**They'll have you suicidal,**

**Suicidal,**

**When they say its over,**

**See, its very divine,**

**your a one of a kind,**

**Yet you mash up my mind,**

**You have to get declined,**

**Oh, lord...**

**My baby is driving me crazy!**

**And now we're fussin'**

**and now we're fightin'**

**Please tell me why I'm feeling slighted,**

**And I don't know how to make it better**

**(make it better)**

**You dating other guys,**

**You telling me lies**

**I'm losing my mind!**

**And I don't think its clever**

**(think its clever)**

**Your way too beautiful, girl**

**That's why you don't ever work,**

**You had me suicidal,**

**Suicidal...**

**(Just imagine a squeaky Sean Kingston)**

The rest of the group, besides Yuki and Tobi, fell asleep on the floor. Yuki and Tobi had had a lot less to drink, but still stumbled a little bit. Yuki made a simple lunch for the four of them. After she was done the grilled cheese, she called the kids and Tobi into the room and brought some to Tsuki and Deidara. After she was done hers she put her dish in the sink and fell asleep on the couch. Tobi did the same thing and now the toddlers were alone, in the room, being taught evil things by Gaara...Wait, Gaara? Teaching toddlers?! Holy crap! Bring in the F.B.I.! Its not Gaara!!

"...and then I lost my virginity to a dead cat when I was five..." Basically, Gaara was telling them his life story and they were BOARD!! It was kill this, and sand that and 'Oh I hate my father' stuff.

"...and I got a gerbil pregnant when I was ten..."And then our favorite sand dude pulled out some demented Gaara-gerbil things.

"And these are my fifteen children. Alex, Michel, Gabriel..." While Gaara rambled about his many child-things, Mariko fell asleep and Reizo found Hidan's new addition of 'Akatsuki Playmates', Which basically consisted of edited pictures of all the girls in the Akatsuki minus Kisame. It was simple, he paid his girlfriend (Dark Zetsu) to get them high, and when they went totally nuts and took off all their clothes. All he edited was the color of their eyes so that they weren't red from the drugs. (I already told you, I don't do drugs. I read too many Ellen Hopkins books) While Reizo was doing...things, Yuki woke up. She wasn't drunk anymore because she just had a glass of sake, she didn't take alcohol very well. She got up and found the sleeping Mariko and a perverted Reizo shaming himself. Yuki then started panicking and knocked herself out when she ran into a wall. Tobi heard a big thump and woke to see a sleeping little girl, a knocked out big girl with a red spot on her head, and Reizo running away.

"Wha!? Reizo! Get back here!" Tobi called to find a little boy hiding a magazine under his shirt. He tried to look innocent, but it failed miserably. Tobi was mad when he saw what the magazine was. He knew something was up when they were stuck in the purple place, but not this. There were pictures of him and Yuki in that weird place, doing...things.

"...Reizo, where did you get these pictures?" Tobi tried to sound not-angry, but the truth was that he was ready to kill the person who did this.

"Kakuzu had them in his secret box under his bed. Why?" Reizo was curious about why his daddy was acting like this. Then Yuki woke up with a massive bump on her head.

"What happened?" Yuki then got up and took Mariko.

"I'm going to go and put her in her bed." Yuki then took Mariko to her room in the middle of hell while Tobi set off to kill Kakuzu. Somehow, Tobi ended up in a weird demention. There were big buildings, fast moving metal monsters, and he was standing right outside a house with a giant yellow roof (he's in New York City) He went inside the house and he was greeted by a weird looking man with face makeup and weird clothing.

"Well, hi there!! I'm Ronald McDonald!! What's your name?" The clown said in a weird accent. All the kids in the room came right up to Tobi and stared to poke him and pull at his cloak.

"What kind of a guy wears a dress?"

"Who are you?"

"Will you give me a pickle?"

Tobi was barraged with questions. The toddlers were too inquisitive for poor Tobi.

"Tobi is Tobi, Tobi isn't wearing a dress, and no, he will not give you a pickle. Where is Tobi?" Tobi was now confused. He then did a jutsu and Reizo came out of a puff o' smoke.

"Daddy? Were are we? Who is that weird guy? Were are we?" Reizo was now weirded out because the clown guy kept trying to tickle him. Tobi was trying to get Yuki, so he tried again and got Mariko. She was sleeping in the middle of the floor. All the little boys swarmed around her.

"Do you wanna play with me?"

"No, play with ME!"

"No, with me!"

Mariko eventually woke up and got dragged away by her fan boys, Reizo was drinking all the milk, and Tobi finally got Yuki.

"Yuki-chan, where are we?" Tobi really wanted to get home, but kept getting the toddlers. Then he saw her drinking a milkshake and just relaxing.

"We are in a place called America. This is the shopping center of it, called New York City. I've been here many times. It doesn't have any ninja, and its very dull." Yuki then gave Tobi a chocolate milkshake. He lifted up his mask just enough so that he could drink the milkshake, but so that nobody else could see his face. After he finished drinking it, he gathered up Reizo and tried to get Mariko away from her fan boys.

"Nooooo!! Give her baaaaaack!!"

"I love you!"

"Marry me!!"

The little boys all cried out, but Tobi just turned around.

"STOP SAYING THAT TO TOBI'S DAUGHTER!!" He then left all the shocked little fan boys crying and they ran off in a random direction. After a while, they ended up in a little miners town in the middle of some mountains. (Ashland, Pennsylvania) They walked into the first house they found and saw two teenagers sitting on a couch and watching the stupid box. The two girls turned around to see who invaded their house and gapped at who they saw.

"I-i-it can't be..." The more boyish looking of the two said in awe.

"OMFGLOLGOMEONEIHJDKLJSSDF!!!" The girl with the pigtails was speechless.

"Who are you? Where are we? Why are we here?" Tobi was seriously weirded out. The two girls just stood up and started poking them.

"Wow...they're really here. I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST NARUTO CHARICTORS!!" The more boyish of the two screamed. The other was just standing there. They both pulled them into a small kitchen and made some ramen for them. They told them to sit down.

"I am The HappyEmoPuppies, and this is Lil' Miss Lazy. We are the writers of The Boy Who Cried Ninja, the story where you two came from. Well, more like where Yuki, Tsuki, Mariko, and Reizo came from. The rest of you guys are from a show called Naruto. You see, B.W.C.N is a fan made fiction, and The Rosajins are an imaginary clan that we made up." HEP explained. Lml was just speechless. Her fan made peoples were sitting right in front of her, for god's sake!

"How are we sure that you two made me up?" Yuki asked. HEP just handed her a chibi picture of her, Mariko, and Reizo. She then pulled out another one of Tobi.

"We have more evidence upstairs, but I drew these. Lml has more upstairs along with the story lines to the fanfic." HEP was surprisingly calm, usually she would be conversing about weird stuff with them and bouncing off the walls, while Lml did most of the explaining. HEP brought them upstairs and to a small, messy, blue room and sat down at a strange looking table with a flat thing on it. She pushed the button and pulled up a word document. She then pulled up the truth or dare chapter and let Yuki read it. Yuki then looked embarrassed, weirded out, and surprised at the same time. Tobi looked over her shoulder and was amazed.

"That was the first time we..."

"Uh-hu..."

"...and they..."

"Yep..."

"Okay, Tobi believes you." Tobi said. Reizo then started jumping around trying to see the screen.

"LET ME SEE IT!!" Reizo insisted. HEP just pulled him up and took him into a girly room with lavender walls and stuffed animals everywhere. (this is my room, and I am the boyish looking one.) Then an abnormally large chihuahua came over and started sniffing Reizo.

"Ahhhh!! Who is that!? Get it away!!" Reizo squealed, Mariko then came in the room and started playing with the dog.

"He's so cute! What's his name?" Mariko asked.

"His name is Maxamillion, but we call him Max for short. We usualy keep him in either his home, or in HEP's room. You see, Max is her dog and he doesn't like little boys so we keep him in a place where he doesn't bite people." Lml explained. In the other room, Yuki and HEP were having the weirdest conversation ever.

"The pickled corndogs then took over the hidden leaf. Wait...why do they call it hidden leaf? Who would hide a leaf? Is it made of gold?" HEP rambled.

"OMFG! It would be so cool if there was a leaf that was hidden somewhere because it was made of gold! What are you going to do to us next?" Yuki said. HEP then pulled out a thin, small book with a brown paper bag cover that said 'NIK'S EVIL PLANS' on the cover.

"I'm going to infuse some of these in the story." HEP said with an evil smile. Yuki tried to get it, but HEP put into a secret pocket inside her sweater. Tobi then cut open her sweater and took out the book and started reading it. If you could see under his mask, you would see a guy blushing like a high school girl who just got asked out by the school hottie. (coughSASUKEcough).

"OMG!! WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO EVIL?!" Tobi yelled. Yuki then took the book and started reading it. On the inside, the title was 'Random Acts of Romance', so there were gooey-mushy romantic stuff inside that tiny little book of evil.

"Hay! This was my favorite striped hoodie! You're getting me a new one!" HEP yelled.

"What if we refuse?" Yuki squealed like a spoiled toddler. HEP then sat down at the magic box and pulled up another screen. She then started typing at a fast pace. Tobi's mask then suddenly spit apart and Yuki's hair grew vary long and started going into braids. Then their clothes changed into plaid shirts and blue jeans.

"Now you fit in perfectly! I hope you like our world, because if you don't get me a new sweater, your staying here!" HEP cheered. Yuki and Tobi paled, they didn't like it here! It smelled weird, the people were crazy,the clothes were overly showing or baggy, and the people were either obese or as thin as a toothpick!! They just wanted to get home!!

"Fine!" They were then taken to a giant place with lots of stores. HEP dragged them to a store called 'Hot Topic' and got an identical hoodie, but this one was a bit bigger on her. (I don't like showing my body off a lot. I wear baggy clothes because all the guys here in coal country are PERVERTS!! The last time I went to a school dance, I got party-boyed the whole friggin' time!!((P.S. Being party-boyed means that all the boys get together and dry hump you in a mosh pit)))

"Now you can go home if you want. Oh wait! I forgot! Here, Yuki. You 'll need these." HEP then handed her three pieces of paper. The first was a recipie for chicken frickasee, the second was a greeting for all the akatsuki members, and the third was a piece of paper that said 'PROTECTED BY THE HAPPYEMOPUPPY' in bold print.

"What's this for?" Yuki said, referring to the slip with the bold print on it.

"Trust the HEP, you shall need that in the near future." HEP said waving her hand around like she was a magical wizard person. Yuki just shrugged and put the three papers in her pocket. After they got all four of the 'out-of-towners' back together, they all fell asleep. Back in the Akatsuki hideout, Yuki's body was in Hidan's room for some reason, Mariko was in her bed, Reizo was in Kakuzu's bathroom, and Tobi was in the living room. Deidara was going into the kitchen when he saw Tobi on the couch, kinda sleeping-like (IDK?) and thought it would be a great opportunity to mess with him. Deidara took off Tobi's mask and gloves and also took out a magical makeup set. (suspicious...) He then got Tsuki to do his face while he painted his nails a bright pastel pink.

(somewhere else in the hideout)

"Hey there people I'm Bobby- why hello, what is this?" Hidan went into his room and found Yuki sleeping on HIS bed. He then got a number of perverted ideas in his head.

"(insert perverted laughter here) YESSSS!!" Hidan said in triumph. He then looked around to see if Tobi or anybody else for the matter was walking down the hall. He then closed the door and got out a red paper bag. He then tried to shred her clothes, but was stopped by an inviable force field. Then a creepy voice filled the room.

"THOU SHALT NOT PASS-ETH!!!" The weird girl voice called out. Hidan stopped trying to break through the shield and looked around frantically.

"WHY? WHO ARE YOU? DO YOU REALIZE THAT THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY CHANCE I'LL HAVE WITH HER?" Hidan was a little creeped out that this, he presumed, 'sister of Dave' could stop him.

"Well, if you put it that way...wait! NO! I AM THE HAPPYEMOPUPPY!! THOU SHALT NOT PASS-ETH!" Then a strange thumping noise was heard. Lml apparently kicked HEP off the compy! (computer...eth)

"Sorry about HEP, she over uses her powers. Continue what ever you were doing!" a slightly lighter and perkier voice called out. Hidan just shrugged and went back to what he was doing. He shredded Yuki's shirt and then started on her pants. Unfortunately, Yuki then woke up half naked, with Hidan looking disappointed.

"AW COME ON!! Wait, I GOT IT!!" Hidan then pulled out a package of an art toy with a bright label on it that said 'AQUA DOTS' in multi colored letters and slipped one in his pocket. He then needed to wait until dinner. Right now he had to take the beating of a lifetime, because Yuki now had to walk through the hideout with only a cloak on until she got back to hell to get a new bra and shirt.

"WHAT THE HELL?! HIDAN!? WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHY AM I HALF NAKED?! WHY AM I HERE?! GROWLETH!!" Yuki cried out before giving the silver haired pervert the thrashing of a lifetime! Just about at this time, all the others were waking up as well. Mariko and Reizo went into the living room to watch the stupid box when they saw a weird looking man on the couch and Yuki kinda just pointing at him and laughing. Secretly, in the emo corner, two villain(esse)s were proud of their work. Tobi then got up and wanted to get some water. Itachi was in the kitchen, probably burning water again, and even he chuckled a little bit. Tobi had a thick sheet of the girliest makeup that anybody could imagine along with the most perfect manicure eva'! Tobi just wondered what was so funny and got his answer when he got a glass. He looked at his reflection and saw a young guy wearing so much makeup that he looked a little bit like a girl and then he noticed his nails.

"AHHHHHH!!!!" Tobi screamed. He then started running around, trying to get the makeup off desperately. Yuki felt a little bit bad, so she took out a little white bottle and calmed him down. She then got out a paper towel and put a little bit of clear liquid from the bottle.

"Its okay Tobi! Here let me get all this stuff off of you. You look so stupid with all that makeup smeared on your face!!" Yuki giggled. Tobi just took the paper towel and rubbed it all over his face. Yuki then took out a clear bottle with purple liquid inside it.

"This might sting a little bit..." Yuki then put a little bit of the purple liquid onto another paper towel and applied it to Tobi's nails. He yanked away like it would set his hand on fire.

"Ouch! What is that stuff!? It hurts!" Tobi whined. Yuki then just giggled.

"Its nail polish remover. I warned you that it might sting a little bit, this is a dangerous chemical that gets rid of the powerful glue components in nail polish so that you can either change color, or take off a mistake. In your case, you want to remove it completely...unless you like pink nail polish..." Yuki said the last part evilly. Tobi then took the stuff and rubbed it all over his nails to get the bright pink goo off.

"That's better. Now, I need to start dinner." Yuki then skipped off into the kitchen, where she found our little 'Tachi doing something...well... he was just crying about the fact that he can't cook for crap.

"What's wrong wittle 'Tachi? Why woo cwrying?" Yuki asked in a sugar sweet tone that you would use to a sobbing toddler. Itachi looked up with teary eyes and asked Yuki to help him learn how to cook.

"Sure! Its easy if your interested in it, I've learned for a few years from the cooks in our family kitchen. But that was when I was six...and you DO know how toddlers like to wander around in the kitchen..." Yuki rambled as she got out stuff to cook. She was going to make a roast chicken because it was apparently Christmas eve. That meant that this was a HUGE chicken, because all the former leaders and all their friends were sharing the tables to talk about the world and how they were going to let them lead the countries, but the Akatsuki would always be over them and wouldn't be hunted down unless they wanted to die. Yuki would usually make her home made stuffing, but took out a box of stuffing instead.

"Here, make this." Yuki ordered in a cheerful tone. Itachi then looked mortified.

"You want me to make boxed crap?! HA! I am more skilled than that of a newborn child in the arts of cooking!" Itachi said trying to make himself seem important. Yuki chuckled a little bit as she seasoned the giant bird.

"There are two things wrong with that statement, well actually in my opinion, three. First off, this stuff is not 'crap', second, everybody starts off the same, it just depends how you progress. And third, COOKING IS A SCIENCE!! I don't like to think of it as art. It can be art, but because how you shape it and that is part of science. NOW MAKE THIS OR GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!" Yuki said. Itachi jumped at the last part and followed the instructions on the pox down to the last grain of salt. Yuki tasted it and approved it.

"Good! You can now mash the potatoes over there. You do have strong arms right?" Yuki then looked over and saw Itachi having a little trouble getting the masher through one round.

"...uhh, okay, now I know that we have a lot of work to do." Yuki said as she took the masher away from Itachi before he hurt himself. She then mashed them with ease and went back to clean up. She put the stuffing on warm and the chicken to the precise temperature on the oven.

"Why do you do it that way? You could just switch around the time and temperature to get it done faster!" Itachi said. Yuki then hit him over the head.

"THAT IS THE LAST THING THAT I WOULD WANT TO DO!! You see, that would make the outside all burnt, while the inside is all raw and gooey. THAT IS A VERY BAD THING!! Now, we need to wait for about...two hours! Go do...whatever you do, I'm going to do something else!" Yuki cheered as she went over to Tobi, who just finished getting all that nail polish and makeup off.

"Hay! You! Help me decorate! We have people coming over and we need to get the hideout ready!" Yuki said to a disturbed Tobi.

"What's the occasion?" He asked.

"Its Christmas eve, Silly!! Come on!" Yuki then grabbed Tobi and he helped her turn the hideout into a mini-winter-wonderland! There was mistletoe and plush carpeting and fireplaces and all that other stuff! It took them about an hour to do all this and the kids were so exited it was like somebody gave them a gallon of coffee! So Tobi and Yuki spent the rest of her little 'cooking break' playing with the kids and telling them stories and all that family gooey stuff. Once her time was up, she took Itachi and ran to the kitchen to take out the chicken and fix up appetizers and other small stuff. Before they knew it, the other persons came and they had to entertain them. The other members greeted them in nice clothes while Yuki came out in bell bottom jeans and a tight chief's coat with the words 'Yuki-chan!" embroidered in the pocket in fancy script and Itachi came out in nice clothes and a pink frilly apron and a pie in his hands, ready to put on the cooling rack in the refrigerator.

"Hi! Welcome! Don't mind us, we're just putting the finishing touches on dinner and dessert! Oh, hi Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi! I thought you said the you might not show up?" Yuki said. Naruto then rubbed the back of his head like a nervous toddler.

"Yeah, but then Sasuke told us about your great cooking and convinced us to come...and I also burned the turkey at my house...hehe..." Naruto then got hit over the head by Sakura.

"I told you not to reverse the time and the temperature! It burns the food every time!" Sakura lectured. Kakashi then took out some boxes wrapped in shiny paper and put them near the big tree. The kids brightened up instantly and started hugging his legs.

"Mommy!! I like this guy!!" Reizo squealed.

"Est' my favorite person in the whole area of five feet!" Mariko said Kakashi was flattered, but he needed his legs, darnit! Naruto, of course, was offended!

"You like old, stuffy, Kakashi-sensei better than ME!? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!" Naruto cried.

"Do you have any candy?" Markio asked.

"Why, yes. Yes I do!" Naruto said as he pulled out two bags full of assorted chocolate. The kids were then stuck to his legs and begging for the candy.

"ME LIKEY CANDY!! GIMMIE NOW!!" Mariko cried.

"Do you like me better than Kakashi?" Naruto asked, only for it to backfire in his face.

"NO!" they both cried in unison.

"What's wrong with these kids?!" Naruto yelled.

"They are very smart kids!" Yuki said triumphantly.

"Who's stupid enough to raise kids like these?!" Naruto shouted. Then, like the idiot he is, he lowered his hand so the toddlers grabbed the candy and went back with Kakashi. Tobi and Yuki were offended at his remark.

"Why do you offend me so?" Yuki said in a weird accent. Sakura then told Naruto that those kids were apparently Yuki's. Naruto paled and apologized promptly.

"Oh...hehe...Ummm, sorry. I didn't know those kids were yours. How old are they?" Naruto asked. Then a random bell went off and Yuki had to go get it. Sasuke than sat down with Itachi and Naruto to have a talk about recent happenings. Tobi and Kakashi were playing with the kids, and all of the former leaders of all the countries and their guest were all happy and putting their gifts under the tree.

"Sasuke, why don't those kids like me?" Naruto was still sad that the kids just plain didn't like him.

"Well, they ARE my niece and nephew. I guess that it just runs in the Uchiha blood to not like you that much..."Sasuke said. Naruto was then offended again. (Well, SOMEBODY HAS THIER PANTIES IN A BUNCH!)

"Wait, your niece and nephew? I thought that your whole clan was killed!! Itachi? Did you rape that hottie wolf girl? GOOD FOR YOU MAN!" Naruto said patting Itachi's back. Itachi grumbled and then moved his hand off his back.

"For your information, there is a third Uchiha still alive. It just happens that they are in love and are reviving the Uchiha clan together. Apparently Obito, our crybaby cousin, was left in a rock slide and he survived and was brought back to the Akatsuki. He's been Zetsu's subordinate for a long time and covers his body most of the time and calls himself 'Tobi' in public." Itachi explained. He didn't know why everyone thought that he raped Yuki and she gave birth to those two kids. He wished that he did rape her earlier, but Tobi got in the way of that.

"Oh, so that guy..." Naruto pointed to Tobi "...is the dad of those messed up kids? I knew that Yuki was crazy, but add him to the mix and you'll have the most hyper-active kids in the known universe! And they did! Just look at them!" Naruto then pointed to a happy scene of Kakashi and Tobi playing with a happy Mariko and Reizo. Now, considering that Kakashi didn't even know the kids' names and they still liked him almost as much as an uncle or something was amazing.

"What's your name little guy?" Kakashi asked in a sweet tone.

"Reizo!" Reizo squealed as Kakashi tickled him.

"Hi Reizo! I am Kakashi! The lord and master of the ninja art of tickling!!" Kakashi said as he tickled the poor little boy. He then turned his attention to the little girl that Tobi was talking to.

"And what's your name?" Kakashi asked in the same sweet voice.

"Mariko!" Mariko chirped. Kakashi and Tobi then ganged up on them in a tickle war. Then Yuki came into the room covered in powdered spices and smelling like a roast chicken herself.

"Dinner's ready! Get it while its hot! Kids, you wanna watch TV while you guys eat?" Yuki said. The kids nodded eagerly. She then brought out two small plates and brought them to the table.

"Eat all your veggies, and by veggies I mean mashed potatoes, or else no pie. Got it? Don't make a mess!" Yuki said. She then took off her coat and underneath was a light blue turtle neck sweater. She then took off the long apron that she had around her waist and now she looked spotless. She sat down in a random spot. Tobi sat next to her and Hidan sat on the other side of her. While everybody else was eating and talking, he slipped the little aqua dot into her food. He grinned when he saw her shovel the whole plate into her mouth and eat it. _'Yes, my plan is working! Now I need to wait.' _Hidan thought as dessert was served. She ate that all in one bite and joined the kids in the other room. Once everybody else was done, they had gift exchange and everybody liked what they got. Just for the sake of putting in more room, here's a list.

Tobi- a new cloak

Yuki- a new chef coat

Tsuki- a pound of clay

Deidara- a elaborate picture of the fourth of July sky

Leader- a box of dough nuts

Konan- Origami paper

Kisame- an iPod

Itachi- a new 'prettier than you' apron

Hidan- the new addition of 'Akatsuki Playboy'

Kakuzu- the same as Hidan

Zetsu (dark)- a diamond ring

Zetsu (good)- a boom box

Naruto- cup ramen

Sakura- a pastel pink razor cell phone

Kakashi- a tub of hair cement (he needs to keep his hair in a pointy fashion SOMEHOW!)

Sasuke- a dark blue parakeet that has the Uchiha clan symbol on its back and a tag on the tag on the cage that said 'SASUKE'S DADDY!' on it

I'm not listing any more because its taking up too much room. The kids were not allowed to open their's

until morning. It was getting late and everyone went home and the members started going to bed. Yuki had to clean up, so she was in the kitchen. When she first walked in, she felt woozy, but continued to clean. After she was done her first pan, she knocked out and didn't wake up after Hidan poked her. He grinned and brought her back to his room. This time he tied her to the bed so that this time, she couldn't get away. He also blindfolded her and gagged her so that she would just think it was Tobi or something. He then shredded her thick clothes and was about to grope her, but was stopped by the same force field and weird voice.

"THOU SHALT NOT PASS-ETH!!" The voice called out.

"Awww! Come on! Lemme do it!" Hidan commanded.

"Do what?" The voice called out.

"LET ME FUCK HER DAMMIT!" Hidan yelled

"DON'T SWEAR ITS NOT NICE!" The voice called out. Then Hidan felt like he was being slapped. The same thumping noise and the same apology was attained and he continued what he was doing. He took off his pants and started doing...things to poor Yuki. Yuki then woke up in the middle of it and started trying to get loose.

"Don't worry, it will all be over soon..."Hidan said. Now Yuki struggled enough to break the crappy rope restraints and kicked him off her. She took off the binds and gag and saw that Hidan was put back together in a crappy manor, much like most of Kakuzu's body. Then she got really angry at the fact that he actually caught her off guard and put on one of his large shirts and knocked him out. She ordered one of the lower minions to do their worst because Sasori had holidays off, doing what, we'll never know. She then quickly changed into her own pajamas and burned the shirt outside the palace. _'I want Hidan disemboweled for what he did!'_ Yuki thought angrily. She then went up to her room and found Tobi sitting on the bed.

"Tobi? Why are you still up?" Yuki asked curiously.

"I can't sleep without you here. I don't know why, I just can't." Tobi responded. Yuki smiled and cuddled up with him under the sheets. In the morning, they were woken up very early by two exited kids hopping on the large bed.

"Santa was here! Santa was here! Come on mommy! Lets go open the presents!" Mariko and Reizo shouted.

"You too, come on!" Yuki said as she pulled Tobi.

"I'll be down in a minuet!" Tobi said from under the sheets. Yuki rushed off with the kids and Tobi got on his mask and pulled out the gift that he got Yuki. Basically, he got her a hundred small stuffed animals. He had them hidden somewhere in his closet, all he had to do was arrange them on top of the bed and he could do that in seconds. After that, he went down stairs and found that Sasuke and Itachi were also up and Yuki was in the kitchen. Itachi and Sasuke looked up and started laughing at what was stuck to Tobi's head.

"What's so funny?" Tobi asked. Itachi put a hand over his mouth and pointed to the box that was tapped to the forehead part of his mask. Tobi took off the tiny box that had in fancy handwriting 'From Yuki' on the lid. He opened the box and pulled out a note that said 'Meet me in the bedroom tonight' with a little heart on it. If you could see under Tobi's mask, well, you don't really need to look under his mask because he was blushing so hard it went straight through the mask. Once he stopped, he went back to the kids and everybody else was awake playing with the kids. He then felt someone hugging him from behind. He then also smelled the faint scent of chocolate chips.

"Wuvses you, Tobi-kun!" Yuki said happily and then she went back to making chocolate pancakes. He then went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. The only thing going on in the kitchen was Yuki making the biggest batch of her famous chocolate pancakes for the Akatsuki. She was getting another batch of batter ready when she bumped into Tobi. Now they both had chocolate chips and gooey batter all over the both of them and Yuki was laughing so hard that she thought she would stop breathing and Tobi was helping her up only to slip and they both fell down again.

"What is this stuff made of!?" Tobi wondered while he got up from the sticky-slippery goo again. Yuki took the now soaked towel off her shoulder and started mopping up some of the batter, still laughing hard.

"T-tsuki!! COME HERE NOW! TH-THIS IS HALARIOUS!" Yuki called out. Then a tired Tsuki came out in her pajamas.

"Do you- w-w-what happened?!" Tsuki said between laughs

"Just help me clean this mess up!" Yuki said kneeling in the sweet batter. Before they knew it, the kitchen was clean and they were still soaked in pancake goo.

"Hay! Clean us up too!" Yuki said. Tsuki then smiled.

"You said clean the kitchen, not you! Byezes!" and with that, Tsuki was gone.

"HAY! Oh well, lets go clean ourselves off. I don't want to get the hideout all dirty." Yuki said as she grabbed Tobi's hand and went out to the living room.

"Will you guys watch the kids for a little bit? A little accident happened in the kitchen and now we need to clean up, if you want, I already have lots of pancakes made! Be right back!" Yuki then went into the door to hell and climbed onto her motorcycle. Once there they were greeted by numerous demons carrying towels.

"What happened?"

"Yummeh! Pancakes!"

"Did you do something baaaaad?"

"Just let us through!" Yuki commanded. She then lead the way to the bedroom and locked the door. When she turned around, she squealed happily.

"OMFG!! STUFFTIES!!" Yuki had to stop herself from jumping into the mound of toys that was on their bed. She went into the bathroom and hopped into the shower. Tobi followed her in and after they were done, Yuki quickly dried her hair and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a red turtleneck sweater. She then tackled the giant pile of stuffed animals.

"YESS!! STUFFTIES ARE MY FAVORATE!! How did you know?" Yuki asked. She never mentioned that she loved stuffed animals so much. Tobi then finished getting dressed.

"One of those two writers told me. I think her name was Lil' Miss...something. I forget." Tobi said as they went down the big stairway. They went back to the hideout and saw the kids playing with their toys and eating big plates of pancakes, along with the rest of the Akatsuki. Everybody had big plates of the stuff, but Tsuki had the biggest. She was practically inhaling them, until Itachi stopped her.

"Tsuki! Stop! Your going to eat them ALL!! I want some too, darnit!" Itachi said, being careful to not swear in front of the kids.

"BUT THEY ARE MY FAVORATE FOOD EVA'! LEMME EAT NOW!!" Tsuki growled as she bit Itachi's hand.

"OUCH! WHY DID YOU BITE ME?!" Itachi commanded.

"YOU'RE IN THE WAY OF MY PANCAKES!! GIMMIE NOW!!" Tsuki shouted as she bit him again.

"STOP BITING ME WOMAN!! FINE!! EAT YOUR FILTHY, FAT LADEN PANCAKES!!" Itachi cried in defeat and Tsuki the started shoveling the fried dough into her mouth faster than Santa could travel in one night! The rest of the day was rather boring, the kids were distracted by various toys, Tobi played with them, Hidan made more evil plans to try to get one of the two girls, and the rest of them couldn't be found. Oh yeah! And Zetsu was recovering in his room because Tsuki was tired of the one side running on a 24/7 rampage and the other one being all innocent. She fused them back together into one plant-guy-thing. After dinner, dessert was served and Yuki finished hers quickly. Once Tobi finished his they noticed the time and put the kids to bed and went into their room.

(A/N: Lml is going to write this part, I don't like writing lemons too much...

Lml: Hey! I thought this was going to be 100 HEP!

HEP: WELL NOT THIS PART!! OUT OF EVERYTHING, I SUCK AT LEMONS THE MOST!

Lml: Okay...)

Yuki grabbed Tobi's arm and pushed him on the bed. "I hope you like my present for you, Tobi-kun." Yuki said seductively as she slowly unbuttoned her cloak. Yuki then pulled off her sweater to reveal a tiny, lacy black bra with gold straps.

Yuki Pulled off her jeans so Tobi could see her matching skimpy thong. Yuki made her way to the bed, but stopped about a foot away from the bed.

Tobi took off his mask so he could get a better look at his mate. Yuki was always sexy, but now she was near perfection. Her skin was like cream in texture, but tan and shone in the dim light of night. The tips of her short ebony hair glimmered silver against her jawline, framing her smooth face.

Yuki's yellow eyes glowed against the dim surroundings, making them stand out against everything else in the room. She filled out the few clothes she had on very nicely and had godlike curves. Her tail only emphasized them by slowly running up and down her long legs. She looked more like a sex goddess than the devil.

(HEP: Lml? What are you doing?

Lml: I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!

HEP: Do you want me to take over?

Lml:...yes)

Yuki began to take off her bra, but then, something stopped her. Tobi was really over-using that little chakara string trick, because he was controlling her to come even closer to the bed. Once she got close enough, he picked her up and put her on the bed. Yuki still couldn't move, but she didn't panic. (even though she was sexually abused many times in the same position by Hidan...) Tobi then started kissing her and trailed down to her neck. Yuki moaned to the touch. Tobi then started reaching behind her body to try to unclasp her bra. Once he did (bras take FOREVER to take off even if your a girl!!) he started moving even lower. He then took one of her breast into his mouth and massaged the other with his hand. After a while he switched, and kept moving down. Tobi then started licking her and she moaned even more.

"T-tobi, please..." Yuki trailed off as he slid his fingers into her and started moving them around. He knew he hit it when she moaned out his name loudly. He then took off the rest of his clothes and slid himself inside her. Once he got into a steady beat, she felt like she was on the edge.

"TOBI!" Yuki screamed as she climaxed. Tobi felt her muscles clench around him and that drove him over the edge.

"YUKI!!" Tobi yelled and settled down next to Yuki. Yuki was already asleep and was mumbling incoherent things(Yes, the HEP is not retarded. I happen to be very articulate and the teachers respect me for that considering that I live in hill-bill-vill USA! If you don't believe me, than how come I've known that the definition for bovine spongeaform encephalopathy ever since I was in third grade?!) But what seriously caught him off guard was when Yuki mumbled...

"Merry Christmas...Tobi...kun..." Yuki said silently before falling so far into sleep that she didn't feel Tobi hugging the life out of her. Yes, he was still a little scared of the constant screams and evil laughter going on outside. Who wouldn't? (You can only hear the screams of the people who said they would never scream in public or they were emotionless completely.) After a while, he fell asleep. In the morning, he pried himself away from Yuki and started the shower. Once he got in he heard unusualy big footsteps come into the bathroom and a small yawn. Then somebody hugged him from behind.

"Morning, Tobi-kun!" Yuki said brightly.

"Morning, Yuki-chan!" Tobi said back with the same enthusiasm. Then Tobi asked an unusual question while rinsing out the last of the shampoo from his hair.

"Yuki-chan, what shoe size do you take?" Once he said that, Yuki blushed so much she looked like a tomato.

"Uhhhh...why do you want to know that?" Yuki asked hesitantly. Tobi then looked down and noticed that her soaked tail was covering her feet.

"You do know I can find out in more than one way, right?" Tobi said playfully. Once they finished, Tobi waked into Yuki's part of the closet and noticed that her shoe closet was locked up so well that the only person who could get in was Yuki herself. Tobi then tried to look at Yuki's feet when she left the room, but then found that her pants were too baggy in the bottom of the leg to actually tell what size she takes. Then he decided to ask around to see if any of the other members knew her shoe size. He went into the living room and saw all the others in there watching the stupid box.

"Hay guys!! Tobi was wondering, what's Yuki-chan's shoe size? Its been bugging Tobi all day long and he can't find out what it is." Tobi said to the crowd. The group then began to wonder the same thing. Even Tsuki!!

"Yeah, good luck trying! I gave up on that YEARS ago! That is her best guarded secret, she wouldn't tell anybody even if her life depended on it!!" Tsuki said. Yuki then came out of the kitchen to tell the Akatsuki that their breakfast was ready and saw them looking down at her feet.

"GREATNESS!! I ALREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH TSUKI WHEN WE WERE TRAVELING AND NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU GUYS!!" Yuki then threw down her apron and marched off.

"But what about breakfast?" Itachi asked. He wanted food now, darnit!

"Its in the kitchen. I am not cooking until you guys either stop being curious about my shoe size, or you find it out on your own. I QUIT-ETH!!" Yuki shouted and went away to her castle in hell.

"I TOLD YOU SO!! Does anyone know where Hidan is?" Tsuki asked. The only reason was that she made a bet with Hidan and she just officially won. Then, a blood streaked Hidan came hobbling into the room.

"Dude, what happened to you?" Kakuzu said as he helped Hidan to his room.

"It was worth the pain..." Hidan said wearily. Once Kakuzu brought him back to his room, he straightened up and cleared the blood off of himself.

"I need your help! Normally, I would try to fix it myself, but this is serious and if I screw it up, it could fail completely! Would you please help me? Please?! I begging, man! Help me!!" Hidan was literally on his knees and begging Kakuzu.

"Fine, fine, I'll do it if you give me five bucks." Kakuzu said stubbornly. Hidan then fished out a five dollar bill from out of his pocket.

"Good, now what do you need help with?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan then murmured something that Kakuzu couldn't hear even if he had a microphone pushed up against Hidan's mouth.

"What? If I can't hear you, I'm leaving." Kakuzu said as he motioned towards the doorway.

"HELPMEGETWITHONEOFTHEWOLFGIRLS!!I'VETRIEDBEFOREANDIALMOSTDIDTOOIFITWASN'TFORTHOSEMEDDELINGKIDSANDTHATWEIRDODOGOFTHIERS!!" Hidan scream-whispered inhumanly fast. Kakuzu understood him that time and agreed to help him. They started planing the perfect plan. Kakuzu was almost finished re-decorating his room and all he needed was to get some furniture, since he already had a dresser, small television, and a queen sized bed. Then, it hit Kakuzu harder than a ton of bricks off the empire state building.

"Okay, here's the plan. I just got a new shag rug and its in the...well, I kinda lost it, but nobody else knows about it and I have an idea. How do you keep getting her unconcious?" Kakuzu asked.

"I put Aqua Dots into her food and the glue in them is used as the most popular date rape drug." Hidan said oh-so-smugly. Kakuzu then thought of a great (in his opinion) idea.

"Sometimes I see her walking around with a small bowel of tapioca pudding and she keeps an abnormally large tub of it in the refrigerator and I think that if we dump a ton of white Aqua Dots into the tub, she'll eat them and wouldn't be the wiser!" Kakuzu said as Hidan got out a crate that had the label 'WHITE AQUA DOTS' on the front.

"Where do you keep getting those? Especially in large crates like that?" Kakuzu asked wondering if they were expencive.

"I get them from a magical place called 'Ebay'! I bought this large box for less than two bucks!" Hidan said enthusiastically. Kakuzu nodded and they started on their little 'mission'. It was right after lunch when Yuki usually ate her tapioca, so they slipped them in while the rest of the Akatsuki were making sandwiches. Yuki then came out of hell and went to get a ham and cheese sandwich for Sasori and another one for herself. After she came back, she threw away her paper plate and got out a small bowl. Itachi then came into the room and took some for himself after getting a sweet smelling package from Yuki and eating his in one bite. He pranced into his room to put his package away and then Hidan and Kakuzu heard a big THUMP come from Itachi's room and hurried in to see our favorite little 'Tachi on the floor, the sweet smelling package next to him. Hidan was wondering what it was, so he opened it and saw a delicious looking cake.

"WTF?! SINCE WHEN DID ITACHI GET CAKE FROM YUKI?!" Hidan then looked in his closet that said 'CAKES' in bold print on the door. He found a big room filled with many different cakes. There must have been over one hundred different cakes as far as the eye can see, because there were large cakes, small cakes, and even cakes that they couldn't put in any category other than 'other'.

Just then, they heard a smaller, but still loud, THUMP come from the hallway. They opened the door and saw, guess who, Yuki! They quickly changed her appearance, using a henge, into a red shag carpet.

"Now all we have to do is get 'it' to my room. Help me pick this carpet up, its heavier than it looks." Kakuzu said. With a groan, they picked up the carpet.

"Wow, how heavy is this friggin' carpet?! It weighs a ton!" Hidan complained.

"Don't worry, my room is only across the hall." Kakuzu said as he carried most of the carpet's weight. They finally got the carpet into Kakuzu's room and put it on the bed. Then they quickly changed her back. After they bound and blind folded her, they decided to get a good look at why she was so protective over her shoe size. They rolled up her baggy pants and saw the biggest shoe they've ever seen. They decided to see if it was a trick and tried to take off the shoe and found that it wasn't a trick. Kakuzu struggled to get the shoe off, and found she needed to get a bigger shoe! He looked inside the shoe and found that the shoe was size thirteen women. (A.K.A. Its a size ten in men shoes)

"Oh dear god! THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE HIDEOUT THAT HAD FEET THAT BIG WAS KISAME WHEN HE WAS A DUDE!!" Hidan screamed. Kakuzu then told him a secret about girls with big feet.

"You do know that saying about girls with small feet, right?" Kakuzu asked Hidan

"Yes, why yes I do." Hidan said still a little freaked out that she had the biggest feet he's ever seen.

"Well, its not true. Its the absolute opposite, girls with big feet are better than girls with small feet." Kakuzu said matter-of-factly. Hidan was shocked! Then they heard mumbling come from the body that they were in front of.

"W-w-where am I? Wh-why are my feet cold?! WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! I WANNA MILKSHAKE, DARNIT!!" Yuki complained. Hidan then magically got a milkshake out of nowhere and fed it to her while Kakuzu took Kisame's old shark slippers and put them on her feet. They were a perfect fit. About fifteen milkshakes later, Yuki was complaining for more and Hidan got a perverted idea.

"You want more, Yuki?" Hidan said darkly. Yuki nodded and Hidan quietly slipped off his pants and underwear.

"Fine, here you go!" Hidan said hapily as he shoved himself into poor Yuki's mouth. Hidan thought that it would work, and it did for about five seconds. She just didn't DO anything. Yuki now knew what they were going to do to her and learned over the years that if this ever happens, hope to god that they don't know pressure points and do absolutely nothing that they would want you to do. Yuki then felt him come out and heard him complain.

"Damnit! Why won't she do anything?!" Hidan whined. Kakuzu then got an idea and got out a big, thick book that had the title 'MEDICAL BOOK OF INVOLINTARY REFLEXES' on the spine in bright blue letters. They flipped through the pages and looked up the reflexes in the head movement and leg motion chapter. Once they got what they wanted, the door creaked open and Tsuki came into the room.

"Hay, guys! What are you doing with Yuki? Le' Gasp! Stop whatever your doing because its perverted!" Tsuki said. The two tried to hide her, but Yuki started singing a weird song.

"I met her in a club down in old Soho where they drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry cola,

C-O-L-A, cola, She walked up to me and she asked me to dance, I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said, Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola, lo lo lo lo Lo-la..." Yuki sang. While Tsuki, Kakuzu, and Hidan were busy fighting, our favorite little sand guy came out of nowhere and let her go.

"Thanks Gaara!" Yuki said in a hushed voice as she gave him a small hug. They left the room and went down to the karaoke bar and Yuki sang the same song she was singing earlier along with Gaara. They gathered a little crowd because the song they were singing was a little...odd.

**I met her in a club down in old Soho,**

**where they drink champagne and it taste just like cherry cola,**

**C-O-L-A, cola,**

**She walked up to me and she asked me to dance,**

**I asked her name and in a dark brown voice she said,**

**Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola, lo lo lo lo Lo-la,**

**Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy,**

**but when she held me tight, she nearly broke my spine,**

**Oh my Lola, lo lo lo lo Lo-la,**

**Well, I'm not dumb, but I can't understand,**

**Why she walks like a woman, but talks like a man,**

**Oh my Lola, lo lo lo lo Lo-la,**

**Well, we drank champagne and danced all night,**

**Under electric candle light,**

**She picked me up and sat me on her knee,**

**and said "dear boy, won't you come home with me?"**

**Well, I'm not the world's most passionate guy,**

**but when I looked in her eyes, well I almost fell for**

**my Lola lo lo lo lo Lo-la **

**Lo lo lo lo Lo-la**

**Lo lo lo lo Lo-la**

**I pushed her away,**

**I walked to the door,**

**I fell to the floor,**

**I got down on my knees,**

**Then I looked at her and she at me,**

**Well, that the way I want it to stay,**

**Ant I always want it to be that way for my Lola,**

**La-la-la-la Lola,**

**Girls will be boys and boys will be girls,**

**Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola,**

**La-la-la-la Lola,**

**Well, I left home just a week before,**

**And I'd never ever kissed a woman before,**

**But Lola smiled and took me by the hand,**

**And said "Dear boy, I'm gonna make you a man"**

**Well I'm not the world's most masculine man,**

**But I know what I am and I'm glad that I'm a man,**

**And so is Lola**

**La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola,**

**Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola**

The small crowd applauded and Yuki and Gaara bowed. Hidan and Kakuzu then went into the bar and listened to the last part, and dragged Gaara out of the bar.

"Hay, kid, how did you get so close to Yuki? I mean, when we even try to even talk to her she walks away! How do you do it?" Hidan asked. Gaara looked at him and laughed a evil, demented laugh.

"I guess we have common interest. She has me over all the time because she makes biscuits and cookies and other baked goods. AND I AM THE COOKIE MONSTER!!" Gaara said the last part as evily as any weird guy who hated most things on this pathetic, dying world that is being destroyed every second of every day because SOME PEOPLE CAN'T FIND THE FLIPPIN' REASON WHY!! (Hippies are the death of us...I am an emo-republican ((No offense to homosexuals)), hear me roar!) Gaara was then dragged away by a hyper Yuki and they skipped on the rainbow of emoness together until they ran into Kakuzu.

"Hi Kakuzu! What are you doing here?" Yuki said in a perky voice. Kakuzu then leaned in and whispered something to her.

"Isn't time for you to start on dinner, Yuki-_chan_?" Kakuzu said dragging out the 'chan' at the end of her name. This got her angry.

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU!! I QUIT-ETH!!" Yuki said in a raging mad voice. Kakuzu then leaned over her shoulder and whispered something straight into her ear.

"Size fourteen wide womens" Was all he said. Yuki was shocked. Now she was shaking with anger.

"H-HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" Yuki shouted. Now everyone in the bar was watching this small fight break out.

"I have my ways..." Was all Kakuzu said when she asked. Now she was angry. She got out a white glove out of nowhere and slapped him.

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT!" Yuki shouted. Kakuzu was smirking under his mask.

"What do I get if I win?" He asked.

"Well, tradition says when a god is defeated in battle, either a successor takes their place or the trait is hereditary. In my case, you would become the new god of death and I would just be a semi-normal girl again." Yuki said with a sigh. "But if I win, I want you to stop abducting me. Its annoying."

"But what if I don't want to be the new god of death, what if I want...something else?" Kakuzu said looking at her chest like she was a piece of meat.

"Uhhh...if I'm still alive, I guess you can..." Yuki said looking at the floor and blushing. Kakuzu was smiling through his mask. Then a giant flame brought them to a battle field in the middle of hell. Yuki stood in a battle stance, since she didn't have her ninja outfit on, she knew that she would just like to beat him into a bloody pulp like she did to Jashin. Then Dave appeared and announced the beginning of their little battle.

"Ready, set, GO!!" The strange voice called out. Yuki then preformed a bunch of hand signs. Tsuki recognized the signs instantly as Yuki's signature move. Yuki then shouted out a loud 'HA' and ice covered the whole field. Kakuzu then was happy that he was wearing a warm hat and mask, but then he saw that Yuki was gone. Yuki was under the frozen floor and started doing some more hand signs. A big funnel of fire then swirled up and engulfed him. That burned up almost all his clothes and left him in his black undershirt and shorts. _'Crap! Where is she now?!' _Kakuzu thought as he tried to hide. Then he felt like he was frozen. Yuki then came behind him and started beating the crap out of him. The only thing that confused him, was that she was moving so fast that she punched him over one hundred times in under one minuet! She then disappeared again, but Kakuzu then caught something in the ice. She was following a pattern, because there were skate marks in a certain pattern in the ice. Kakuzu then felt sharp pains all over his body. He looked down and saw that she hit him with so many kuni, shurikin, and other ninja weapons that he looked like a demented porcupine! But this time she stopped right in front of him.

"Do you give up now, or do you want to die?" Yuki said happily. He then noticed a shiny, long thing behind her.

"I will never give up to a _girly-girl_ like you!" Kakuzu said as he pulled out all the weapons and let his tenticals out. He reached for her, but she stepped a few feet to the side and he missed completely. He attacked in a fury and he didn't even touch her. When he finaly did catch her, he grabbed the end of her fluffy tail. She yelled out in pain as he dragged her even closer. (Dogs don't like being dragged by the tail either, it hurts them.) Kakuzu found her weak point, and kept dragging her even closer. Yuki then got fed up and took out the most powerful of all her weapons. The kantana that she used to kill her family. She easily sliced through all his tenticals and went straight for his head. He stabbed her in the heart and she turned into a big block of ice. He then felt cold metal on his neck.

"Do you give up now,_ little boy_?" Yuki said exaggerating the 'little boy' part. Kakuzu then nodded carefully, so he didn't cut himself. Yuki let him go and said something that would bug him for the rest of his life.

"Wow, I thought you actually had to be good at fighting to be part of the Akatsuki..." Yuki said before melting the field with a small fire jutsu.

"How long did it take me to beat him, Tsuki?" Yuki asked. Tsuki then told her an amazing time.

"About thirty seconds, why?" Tsuki said as Yuki started laughing so hard she couldn't breath right.

"Because that was the shortest fight I've ever done!" Hidan then came up behind her and grabbed her butt and put his head on the crook of her shoulder.

"I guess that is why you have such a great ass..." Hidan said just to be slapped by a white glove.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU ON THE BATTLEFIELD!" Yuki said right before she ran back into the field. Hidan followed her and found the field was completely different. It was a winter wonderland. Ice was everywhere and there was snow falling from the ceiling. _'I guess that's why she was named Yukiko'_ Hidan thought. He then looked at the ice covered floor and saw her coming for an attack. He dodged it and took out his three edged scythe. He then swung it and only caught her arm, but just barely. Now she was traceable because the cuts were big enough to bleed, but so small she didn't feel them. Yuki stopped to think and got the perfect idea. She stepped out onto the ice and did a few hand signs. Hidan recognized them easily, because she was about to use HIS signature jutsu, the voodoo doll jutsu. He laughed as her face changed color to that weird skeleton looking face and she threw kuni at herself. As she hit herself, Hidan laughed but then realized that he was being hit with the same intensity. She pulled out all the weapons and dispelled the jutsu. She then made hundreds of clones and the real one in the front laughed evily.

"Do you give up?" She asked, because she was about to do something even more evil than anyone could imagine. Hidan shook his head and preformed his voodoo jutsu. Yuki laughed even more.

"I just used this on you, do you think it will really work?" Yuki said.

"I'm just going to humiliate you so much that you will just have to surrender to me or else it won't stop." Hidan said with a smirk. He then started taking off his cloak and Yuki had to do the same. Yuki then knew what he was doing.

"GREATNESS!! I'M BEING CONTROLLED BY A PERVERT!!" Yuki then got an idea. She shouted out a weird word.

"ISHKABIBLE!" As she shouted that word, the arena closed and nobody could see them. Hidan then smiled a perverted smile and did a fire jutsu so that the field would melt. Yuki did the same and after the field was turned into a normal temperature, he continued. He made her take off her shirt and thew a kuni at the center of her chest. Once it hit, he pulled it out and he made her pull off the shredded bra. Before she did, she tried to break free of the jutsu and finally did, but needed to get him in a sense of security for this to work. Once he was staring at her half naked body he was too distracted to notice that she was making hand signs for a dangerous jutsu...well he did, but that was because he was moving his arms so that her boobs would jiggle. (Stupid perverted Hidan) Once she finished the hand signs, she then made a clone and put it behind him. While the clone held him down, she blew a fire whirl wind. After that, he was kinda unable to continue the battle, so she won. She pulled on her shirt and cloak, but left her bra because she couldn't use it. After she shouted the word again, the field opened up and she walked out with a badly burned Hidan. The minions who were sent into the field to clean up after the fight, came out laughing up a fit and carried out a white bra with them. Kakuzu picked it up and told them 'He would take care of it'. The demons gave a thumbs up and left. He then put the bra into one of his many secret pockets.

"hehe...I'm going to sell this on Ebay!" Kakuzu said victoriously as he ran off to his computer. He then took a picture of the piece of cloth next to a smexy picture of Yuki that he got god-knows-where. He put on a price tag of fifty dollars for this used bra. Instantly, a bunch of desperate guys started bidding for the item. The highest bid of over seven hundred dollars won and Kakuzu then put the item in a box and shipped it to this poor, desperate, sick, lonely dude. What he didn't know was that he sold it to a weird kid in Konoha. Some people call him perverted, others call him Sai. Now Sai pranced around with his purchase and showed off the picture that came with it. All the men either got nose bleeds, drooled, or wanted to buy it from him. He even got this one guy who asked who the girl was. When he showed it to his team mates, they were shocked. Kakashi then went to the hideout and bought some of the home made porn from Kakuzu. He then told Jariya and he put the girls into his book series. This all happened within one hour! The next day, Yuki decided it was a good idea to see how the citizens of their little city were doing and found them in the middle of town, doing a slow dance conga line/ mosh pit. And guess who was in the front of the line! None other than our favorite florescent, backwards, fun guy, Frank!

"_Hey persons! Long time no see!! I am here to talk to the rookie nine, team Gai, and the sand sibs. Please come to the Hokage's tower immediately!"_ Yuki announced. Then said ninja came rushing into the tower. Once they got to the meeting room, the guys burst out laughing and the girls looked mad.

"What's wrong?" Yuki asked. Kakashi then took out his new edition of 'Icha Icha Paradise' and showed it to her. She quickly read it and was blushing madly.

"WHERE THE HELL DID THESE PICTURES COME FROM?!" Yuki asked. She then looked on the cover and saw the author of this horrible book.

"Get me Jariya! NOW!!" Yuki ordered as she incinerated the book right in the palm of her hand. Naruto then ran off and came back a second later with a man who had white long hair and a giant scroll on his back. Once he saw who wanted to talk to him, he went completely nuts.

"Well, it looks like your not hurt that bad..." He said, trying to use an old pick up line.

"Hurt from what?" Yuki said, oblivious to what she was angry about before.

"From when you fell from heaven, because you are the most beautiful angel I've ever seen." Jariya said. Tobi instantly grabbed her hand and glared at the old man. Yuki then walked up to the man and talked to him with the calmest voice she could muster at the moment.

"Look, Jariya-san, I'm just a simple mother and I don't like the fact that I've become a porn star over night. I want you to take back all the books and I will punish the persons responsible for the other pictures. If you don't, I guess I'll have to kill you..." Yuki trailed off. Jariya then laughed like the perverted old man he was.

"Little girl, do you seriously think you can beat one of the legendary sanin? That's why every girl needs a big, strong man in her life! To protect her no matter what! And that's what I'm offering you right now, I'm a big strong guy and your a princess who needs one, what do you say to me, you, some hand cuffs, and a can of whipped cream, tonight in my room?" And with that, Yuki slapped him so hard that he thought that his face was on fire.

"THAT'S IT!! YOUR THE THIRD GUY I HAD TO FIGHT TODAY!! Naruto, will you please tell me where the closest clothing store is? My clothes aren't good for fighting and I just can't go home right now." Yuki said, Naruto then told her where the closest store was and she dragged Tobi along with her and told them to meet at the old Rosanjin compound. She only took five minuets in the store and she changed right in one of their dressing rooms. She then practically carried Tobi to the compound and saw everyone waiting outside the old house.

"Why are we here? This clan has been wiped out for years because of one of their children went crazy! I'm sorry, but we can't go in there. The children that ran away are even dead! Nobody has seen them for years!" Jariya said, trying to uphold the laws of Konoha. Yuki just ignored him and opened the door to let everybody in. Jariya then stopped them from entering.

"Look kid, unless you are part of this clan, which I seriously doubt, then this is kinda illegal." Jariya then walked away but was stopped by Yuki.

"I AM part of this clan, I am the one who killed all those bastards! They deserved it for what they did to Tsuki and me!" Yuki said. Jariya then paled.

"Y-y-you a-are th-th-the lost Rosanjin kid wh-who killed her wh-whole clan before they we-were even te-ten years old?! I THOUGHT A BOY DID IT!! HOLY CRAP!! I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU EVEN IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!" Jariya shrieked. Yuki then smiled evilly.

"But your life does depend on it. If you win, I'll let you do whatever you want. If I win, you can gather up ALL the porn of me and my sister in Konoha! Also if you lose, I'll kill you for even spreading this stuff around!" Yuki said evilly. Jariya then froze.

"Are you so sure that your going win? And are you sure I can do ANYTHING?" Jariya said, stretching out the word 'anything'. Yuki sighed and nodded. She then lead the group to the middle of the compound where there was a giant battlefield. Once Tobi announced the beginning of their little battle, he ran as fast as he could, but still got caught in her ice jutsu and half his cloak was covered in snow. Jariya then noticed that Yuki was gone. Like an idiot, he looked at the sky thinking that she jumped on the roof or something, when she was right behind him. She then made a fury of hits, kicks, and punches and then left as fast as she came. Jariya then knew that she wasn't fooling around when she said she'll kill him, and summoned a giant toad that we know and love called Gamabunta!

"What do you want, Jariya?" The annoyed toad asked the old man who was standing on his head. Jariya then started to play with his fingers.

"Well, you do know about the Rosanjin massacre, right?" Jariya said nervously.

"Oh, don't tell me you picked a fight with THAT kid?! What kind of senile old man are you?! Everybody who was alive during that time knows to never mess with kids who have wolf ears and tails!! THOSE ARE THE SIGNS THAT THEY ARE THE KIDS WHO KILLED THAT CLAN YOU NITWIT!!" The toad yelled as he watched Yuki preform some hand signs to summon a giant wolf that rivaled the size of Gamabunta. He then took out his katana as the dog took out an extremely large shirikin. Yuki then preformed more hand signs and then about five wolves appeared at once. They charged the toad and the real one came up from behind and clashed with the frog.

"I just figured out that the kid who killed that clan was a young and hot girl who ended up on the cover of my book! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE KID WHO DID THAT WAS A GIRL!?" Jariya yelled with panic. Gamabunta then groaned and pushed the wolf away.

"If this is that kid, then I'm leaving!" Gamabunta said before dissipating into a cloud of smoke. Yuki then hopped off her wolf and petted the tip of its nose.

"Good girl, Fluffy!!" Yuki said before throwing a treat to the dog and preforming a few hand signs to make the treat grow one hundred times bigger. The dog ate it happily and left. Yuki then landed on the roof and summoned a small wolf.

"Jingles, look for this man." Yuki said as she pulled out a lock of hair she got from Jariya while he was talking to the giant toad. The small wolf nodded and went onto the field while Yuki waited on the roof. Jariya didn't notice the small dog behind him for three reasons. One, the dog was pure white, two, he was concentrating on finding Yuki, and three, the puppy was dead silent. He did notice the shrill barking coming from behind him. He then looked behind him and saw Yuki holding the puppy in one hand and a large kantana that was letting off dark chakara. He quickly threw kuni at her and once they hit, she turned into a block of ice. He then felt something grab his neck. Yuki then pushed him against the wall and said something that will kinda scar poor Jariya for life.

"I win" Yuki said darkly. She then put up her kantana like she was going to kill him. He begged her not to and even started crying.

"DON'T KILL ME!! PLEASE!! KILL NARUTO!!! I'M INNOCENT!!" Jariya said like a small child who was about to be punished for taking their daddy's newspaper before he could read it. Yuki the smirked.

"Do you think that I'll give into whining? I've heard it all before! Do you know how many years I had to be an assassin just so that my little sister and I wouldn't go broke? And its all because of Konoha! And you think that just because your begging that I wouldn't kill you right now if I wished to?" Yuki said sweetly with an evil smirk. Naruto then came out onto the field and convinced Yuki not to kill him right on the spot. She then skipped out of the old compound along with a disturbed Jariya and a shocked bunch of ninja.

"How did you beat Jariya in such a cold place? YOUR WEARING SHORTS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!" Naruto shouted. It was true, because Yuki hurried to get out of that ninja shop, she ended up buying boys clothes instead of a girls outfit. She was wearing an outfit that looked eerily like the one Sasuke used to wear, except it fit her better. Yep, she was wearing white shorts and a blue shirt with a big-ass neckband. The only thing missing was the Uchiha symbol on the back, even though she was allowed to wear it, she thought that either Sasuke's or Itachi's fan girls would try to kill her if she did that.

"There IS a reason that I am named Yukiko, ya know!! I FIGHT BEST IN THE SNOW YOU WEIRD PERSON-GUY!!" Yuki said as she smacked Naruto on the head. Yuki then waved to the ninja and left Konoha. Things were quite peaceful for a while after that.

&$&$&$

Kayzes!! I, HappyEmoPuppies/Nikki-chan/Erika/Nick name girl/Weird emo kid who sits in the corner of the classroom/ The funnest person eva'!/Erik/Big Foot/ Daughter of big foot/ Nickelodeon/ The kid who will drink milk up her nose for a doller/ big mouth, does not own any of the Naruto persons. If I did, Naruto would be almost as weird as Bobobo and mainly about the Akatsuki. (and yes, I listed all the nicknames that I could think of at the moment that other people gave me.)


	17. Running out of chapter titles

Hi!! I don't know half of you people, but if you are lawyers (looks suspiciously at a small kitten) I don't own any of the Naruto peoples!

HEP- WARNING!! TODAY WE FEEL EVIL, SO WE SHALL DO EVIL THINGS IN THIS CHAPPIE!! THIS CHAPPIE WILL ALSO BE CUT INTO QUARTERS INSTEAD OF HALVES BECAUSE IT IS ABNORMALLY LONG!!

Lml- Why are you yelling?

HEP- BECAUSE I'M BEING CHASED BY THAT EVIL BUTTERFLY!!

Lml- Well, it isn't my-HEP!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!

Changes to a scene with HEP looking oh-so-innocent with half of a butterfly body hanging out of her mouth

Lml-SPIT IT OUT NOW!!

HEP- But I already ate it!! It tasted like anchovies!!

Shikamaru then walks into the room and sees a boyish looking teenager eating anything she can and a more girlish one trying to stop her from eating the compy.

Shika- Troublesome...a second Choji...

The two girls then stop and point at Shikamaru

Girls- YOU!!! YOU ARE PERFECT!!

Shika-for what?

HEP- THIS!!

Lml then handed Shika a copy of the script and he started blushing as soon as he got through the third page.

Shika-Shweet!! This chapter is going to be awesome!!

HEP- Um, Shika...

Shika-What?

Lml & HEP- Your nose...

Shika then noticed his nose was bleeding at an alarming rate

Shika- OMG!! STOP IT!!

Itachi-Why wasn't I in this chat?

Everybody in the room- BECAUSE YOUR NOT AS AWESOME AS ROCK LEE!!

Rock Lee then enters the room and smiles so brightly that it blinds everybody except for HEP and Itachi, because they are already either half blind or just blind all together. (yes, HEP is half blind, she can't see out of her left eye, literally! Its not funny!)

ON WITH THE CHAPPIE!!

&&&&&&

One week after the little incident in Konoha, Yuki decided that it would be a good idea to check up on them at least once a month or two. The next time, she brought the kids, who actually grew about an inch each. She also brought along Tsuki, Deidara, Tobi, and of course, Gaara! Once they got there, she gathered up all the rookie nine and team Gai along with their teachers.

"Hello again peoples!! I just gathered you up to meet some of the two most important people in my little, tiny life. I guess team Kakashi have already been introduced." Yuki said as she tried to pull her children off of Kakashi's leg. She failed and Naruto tried to introduce everybody.

"These two kids are Mariko and Reizo. They hate me, but apparently absolutely love Kakashi for no reason. I guess they are just weird like their mom..." Naruto his a soft spot on Yuki's ego.

"I'D LIKE TO SEE HOW YOUR KIDS TURN OUT!! I MEAN YOUR NAMED AFTER A SHRED OF MEAT AND A FISH TOPPING FOUND IN RAMEN!!" Yuki yelled. Naruto then shot her a cold glare. She fought back with a stare that was even colder that Itachi's and Sasuke's combined! Naruto backed away and Yuki stood in a victorious pose.

"Trublesome...now we have a weird leader and her messed up kids to deal with..." Shikamaru then looked around and sighed. "...we also have to deal with those crazy people from the Akatsuki..." Shikamaru now had Yuki, Tobi, Tsuki, Deidara, and the toddlers looking at him like they were about to kill him.

"DON'T JUDGE OUR PARENTING!!" Yuki and Tobi yelled.

"I AM NOT CRAZY, UN!!" Deidara screamed

"DON'T MENTALY SCAR MY NEICE AND NEPHEW!!" Tsuki shouted.

"WE ARE TODDLER!! HEAR US ROAR!!" The kids yelled in unison. All the others then looked at the kids and they shrugged.

"Well, everybody else was doing it!" Mariko said in defense. Everyone else let it go and then suddenly, Shikamaru felt smaller and shorter. He then stopped shrinking when he was about the size of the other toddlers.

"Wha-!?" Shikamaru was then picked up by Tsuki as Yuki and Tobi got the other two kids and put them in a play room for a little while.

"Now be a good girl and make sure these boys don't do anything naughty." Yuki said in a sweet voice to Mariko. She giggled and as soon as Yuki left. Shikamaru tried to think of an escape, but just kept getting perverted ideas of what he could do with Mariko. (You'll see why she has so many fan boys in just a little bit...) What Shikamaru didn't know was that he was slowly becoming a pervert. Mariko then skipped over to him and started talking to him.

"You wanna play house with me?" She said in a cute voice that only a five year old girl could pull off. Shikamaru then looked around and saw that the room they were in was indeed a play room for toddlers, complete with a play house! Shikamaru then got an idea.

"Yeah, I'll play house with you." Shikamaru said in a happy voice.

"Really? Reizo keeps on saying that only girls play house!" Mariko said with curiosity. Shikamaru then started shaking his head in a 'no' motion.

"Of course boys play house! Its just that only real boys play house." Shikamaru said, trying not to get a nose bleed. Mariko then grabbed his hand and guided him to the plastic play house. Once inside, Shikamaru cringed. The house was decorated with pink plastic and in the middle, there was a big plastic table that had purple flower print on the top. Shikamaru smirked and grabbed Mariko's hand and sat her down on one of the small pink chairs.

"Okay, I'll be the mommy, and you can be the daddy, and Mr. Snuggles can be the baby!" Mariko said as she brought out a teddy bear. Shikamaru then took the teddy and put it back in the toy bin.

"Mariko-chan, do you wanna make a real baby?" Shikamaru said in a cute voice. Mariko then looked at him with a confused face.

"How do you make a baby?" Mariko asked. When her mommy and her Uncle Itachi were explaining that to her, she was so embarrassed that she was kinda in shock and didn't listen to it. Shikamaru smiled and brought her to the kitchen area of the large play house.

"Then I'll show you!" Shikamaru chirped.

(WARNING!! TODDLER LEMON!! ANYBODY WHO IS ALL 'OH WE HAVE TO SAVE THE CHILDREN' DON'T READ IT!)

Shikamaru started taking off his shirt and told Mariko to do the same. Once that was done, Mariko was blushing madly as Shikamaru looked at her white-with-pink-hearts under shirt.

"Don't be embarrassed. Here, let me help you..." Shikamaru said as he went behind her and took out a small 'toddler sized' kunai. He gently put the knife under the soft fabric and with one swift cut, the shirt was gone. Now Shikamaru was smiling a big perverted smile and poor little Mariko's face was as red as a tomato. Shikamaru then put his kunai away and told Mariko to lay down on the table. Mariko did and Shikamaru climbed on top of her. He then started pulling on her skirt and she resisted.

"Dooon't!" Mariko whined.

"Why?" Shikamaru said in a cute voice. He knew children psychology, and that the only way to get something from a small child was to talk to them nicely and never force them to do anything.

"My mommy and daddy tell me not to let anybody look under there!" Mariko whined as she tried to wiggle away. Shikamaru then looked at her with a sweet smile.

"But this is fun!" Shikamaru insisted. Mariko then stopped wiggling and looked up at him.

"Really?" She asked. Shikamaru nodded and then Mariko unclasped her belt and took off her skirt to reveal small, lacy, white with pink hearts panties. Shikamaru then took off his pants and now the only thing the two were wearing were their underpants. Shikamaru then went up to Mariko and quickly pulled down her panties.

"Noooo" Mariko whined. Shikamaru then looked up at Mariko with a big, sweet, child like smile.

"But we're playing house and this part is the most fun!" Shikamaru said in a kid-ish voice. Mariko then agreed and just let him continue. Right now, Shikamaru was having a perverted party in his little mind. He then started to lick her and Mariko had no idea what he was doing.

"Sh-Shika!" Mariko moaned. Shikamaru then found what he was looking for and stopped. He then sat on the table and took off his boxers. He then turned to her and she looked confused.

"What is that?" Mariko asked as she pointed to Shikamaru's 'private place'.

"Its a lollipop!" Shikamaru said happily. Mariko then brightened up.

"I like lollipops! Can I have some?" Mariko asked, still being oblivious to the talk that Yuki gave her earlier.

"Yep! But its a different kind of lollipop, you lick it 'till you get the candy!" Shikamaru said. Little did they know that Reizo was taping the whole thing and giggling like a school girl. Tsuki then kinda twitched and felt that something was wrong.

"Somebody is doing something that they shouldn't be doing..." Tsuki pondered on who it was and got her answer when she walked into another room. She coughed at the heavy smoke and saw a high Naruto come out of the bathroom.

"I guess that is what I was supposed to stop! Gimmie that!" Tsuki said as she took away the joint that Naruto had in his hand and dragged him back to the meeting room. In the other room, Mariko was licking Shikamaru's 'lollipop' and Shikamaru was loving it! And since he was just toddler sized, his body was still mature enough to do certain things. Once he came into her mouth, Mariko pulled away and grimaced at the strange taste that filled her mouth.

"That lollipop tasted funny" Mariko said. Shikamaru then asked her to lay down on the table again. He kissed her and positioned himself at her entrance. He then leaned close to her ear and whispered to her.

"This might hurt for a second, but that only happens the first time. After that, it will be the funnest thing you've ever done. I promise." Shikamaru whispered before slowly sliding himself into her. Shikamaru kissed her, to muffle the scream so that he didn't alarm the older people in the other room. Mariko then noticed that the pain stopped and that it actually did feel good. Shikamaru then got into a steady beat and hit her spot every time. Mariko just made weird noises that toddlers make when either they don't know what's going on or what another person is doing to them. In this case it was the second option. Mariko then felt something tighten up inside her and when Shikamaru hit really deep in her, they both climaxed screaming each other's name. Shikamaru then collapsed on top of Mariko and he rolled next to her. After they rested for a minuet, they got their clothes back on and watched some T.V. while Reizo put the tape onto a DVD and put it into a case for Hidan. Then Yuki came in and took her two little children and Shikamaru followed.

"Did you have fun?" Yuki asked in a sweet voice.

"Yep!" Mariko said. She then looked down at Shikamaru, who just put his finger to his lip as a sigh to not tell her what they did, so she lied.

"We watched T.V., and played house, and played tag, and lots of other stuff!!" Mariko said enthusiastically. Yuki then smiled and put Mariko on the floor. Mariko then walked with Shikamaru and held hands with him and swung their hands around like they were best friends. Yuki then picked up Reizo and asked him the same question and he answered the same way. Yuki the released the kids into the room and they all attacked Kakashi and Tobi. Eventually, the whole gang was playing in a dog pile with the three toddlers sitting on top. They got loose and they started a tickle war with the kids and Tenten eventually won. Now it was time for them to go home and they all waved good-bye to everybody except Shikamaru.

"Mommy, Daddy, can I have Shikamaru over for a sleep over?" Reizo asked, knowing full well what will happen if he were to stay over night.

"Yes, if its alright with Shikamaru's parents and that he has everything he needs for a sleep over." Yuki said. Shikamaru then quickly ran to his house and got all the stuff he would need for at least one night. The group then went back tot he hideout, and Yuki brought the small group to the palace in hell and set up the most awesome sleep over room in Reizo's room. It was a normal sleep over and they ate sugar until they passed out. When they finally came to, Shikamaru was in Mariko's side car, Mariko was holding on to Yuki's back, and Reizo was in his side car. Shikamaru was terrified because he looked around and saw the big, fiery place that they were in. When they got to the hideout, Yuki helped Mariko off, Shikamaru climbed out and held on to Mariko like he was just mentally scarred for life.

"Wh-where were w-we?" Shikamaru, of course, was the smartest ninja in Konoha, so he didn't believe in religion. Yuki turned around and took Shikamaru to the living room and told him.

"Well, Shikamaru, do you believe in god?" Yuki asked from the kitchen. She knew that Shikamaru was old enough to tell him that gods do exist and that she was one of them along with her kids. (Yes, the kids are gods. SUE ME!!)

"No, I don't, because god doesn't exist!" Shikamaru said, kinda angrily. Dave heard this and got offended, so he did what he did when he was either offended, or board.

_**Know your ninja**_

_**Know your ninja**_

_**Know your ninja...**_

"What was that? Who's there?" Shikamaru said while looking around at the ceiling. Yuki snickered from the kitchen and the rest of the Akatsuki came in for breakfast. They heard the voice and froze.

"Wh-who's the unlucky victim, un?" Deidara asked, a little afraid of what answer he might get. Yuki then bolted into the room after putting the eggs in a basket in the table.

"Poor Shikamaru, he just offended Dave, me, my kids, and all the other gods out there..." Yuki said. Shikamaru turned around with wide eyes and gapped like a fish out of water.

"_**Gods**_!? I was only told that there was _**ONE**_ god!! OMG!!" Shikamaru screamed. Dave decided to continue what he started.

_**Shikamaru Nara...**_

_**Is the dancing queen of the hidden leaf, mist, rock, wind...**_

Yuki heard this and burst out laughing. The rest of the Akatsuki were also laughing along with the kids. Shikamaru just stood there blushing.

"T-THAT'S N-NOT TRUE!!" He yelled. Tsuki then walked over to Shikamaru, still giggling a little bit.

"Dave is the god of knowledge, he also can't lie. So, that means that he knows everything about you, your secrets and almost everything!" Tsuki said with a smile.

_**...New York, Beijing, Luxembourg, St.Petersburg, Moscow, Washington DC, and almost every city in the known universe!**_

The next thing that Dave said will mentally scar Yuki and Tobi for the rest of their endless lives

_**Shikamaru Nara...**_

_**Is a pervert and molested Mariko while everybody else were having that meeting in Konoha.**_

Yuki then twisted her head completely backwards and gave Shikamaru an evil glare.

"What did you do to my only daughter, you sick, demented, weird, perverted demon child?" Yuki and Tobi then got together and started to gang up on little Shikamaru. They looked like they could breath fire, which they actually could and probably will any minuet. Shikamaru then ran over to Mariko and grabbed her hand protectively.

"So what if I did? I love Mariko!" Shikamaru said. He then kissed Mariko and Mariko was blushing so much, she looked like Hinata.

"Um, I get that reaction from a lot of boys..." Mariko said shyly. Dave then answered why.

_**Mariko Uchiha...**_

"Your an Uchiha?" Shikamaru asked. Now he was getting a little weirded out. He thought that all the Uchihas were dead or unable to reproduce. Sasuke was gay as the spring time morning, and Itachi killed the clan, so why would he want to save it? He then got his answer when he looked at Mariko's eyes and saw that reddish-blackish gleam that only Uchiha eyes had.

"I guess you are..." Shikamaru said, still a little shaken. Dave then continued his rant.

_**...Is the goddess of love, also known as cupid, and will never age past the age of fourteen years old!**_

"So that's why I can see the arrows sticking out of random people's heads!" Mariko said, a little relived. She thought she was going crazy because she tried to tell her mommy that she saw arrows sticking out of her parents' heads. Yuki would usually tell her that there isn't an arrow sticking out of her head or else she would be dead. Mariko then looked at Shikamaru and saw one of those frilly pink arrows sticking out of his chest.

"Greatness..." Mariko mumbled as Shikamaru held her hand protectively. Mariko shrugged and took one of the frilly arrows and stabbed herself in the arm. She then looked over at little Shikamaru and glomped him.

"I wuvses my Shika!" Mariko said in a girlish voice. Shikamaru hugged her back and they skipped away leaving an angry Yuki and Tobi, and a grossed out Akatsuki.

"Toddler...sex?! THAT'S MORE MESSED UP THAN THAT PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE THING!!" Itachi screamed, still remembering the French orange juice, and the failed information mission. Tsuki then went over and hit Itachi over the head.

"OUCH!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Itachi screamed.

"WE BLAME YOU FOR THIS!!" Tsuki and Yuki yelled.

"Why?" Itachi asked, he stopped yelling because it was giving him a head ace.

"Because the world hates you today!" Yuki said happily. It was true, because he tried to make a sandwich for lunch and he somehow made it explode, his hair was finally growing out, but now he looked like an emo girl, and somebody thought that it would be funny to put girly make up on him when he was taking his daily beauty-nap. And now, Yuki and Tsuki were blaming him for the loss of Mariko's virginity. The world really did hate him today. In the other room, Shikamaru and Mariko were playing in her room. Shikamaru stopped.

"Mariko-chan, would you like to play house again?" Shikamaru. Mariko then shook her head.

"Mommy and Daddy looked like they were really mad, I don't want you to get in trouble. Especially since the last time Mommy caught Reizo with that funny book he always carries around..." Mariko then remembered what happened that day.

_Flashback_

_Reizo was doing what he always did when he was either board or just wanted to, looking at his playboy magazine! He was sitting in the living room when Yuki walked in and saw the cover._

"_OMG!! REIZO!! PUT THAT DOWN NOW!!" Yuki shouted, a little disturbed that her son was actually looking at that._

"_Why don't you make me?" Reizo squealed. That got Yuki mad. She then took the magazine and put Reizo over her knee._

"_You asked for it!" Yuki said before giving Reizo the spanking of a lifetime!_

"_I'M SORRY MOMMY!! I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!" Reizo shouted. Yuki then stopped and let Reizo pull up his pants. She then did a few hand signs before burning the magazine into a pile of ashes._

"_Now, never let me catch you with that kind of stuff ever again!" Yuki said before leaving the room._

_End Flashback._

"...And Reizo still can't sit down the right way." Mariko said. Shikamaru shivered at the thought of what kind of damage Yuki could do if she hit something when she is that angry.

"Yeah, your probably right. Hey! I have an idea!" Shikamaru insisted. Mariko tilted her head in a curious way.

"What is it, Shika?" Mariko asked. Shikamaru then sat down on Mariko's large bed.

"You do love me, right Mariko-chan?" Shikamaru asked. Mariko nodded her head.

"Uh-hu!" Mariko said in a childish like way. Shikamaru then walked towards the door.

"I'll be right back, Mariko-chan! Don't leave this room, I have a surprise for you!" Shikamaru said as he walked out the door. Mariko turned on the television and waited ten minuets for Shikamaru to return. When he did come through the door, Mariko noticed that he was holding something behind his back. She craned her neck to see what it was.

"Shika-kun? What is that?" Mariko asked, still curious as to what it was. Shikamaru then knelt down on one knee and held out an elaborate wedding band that had the biggest diamond that Mariko has ever seen!

"Um, Shika-kun?" Shikamaru then took Mariko's hand and put the ring on her finger.

"Mariko-chan, will you marry me?" Shikamaru said, trying to hide the blush that was on his face. Mariko was speechless. SHE'S ONLY KNOWN HIM FOR ABOUT A DAY AND A HALF!! AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD MARRY MEANS!!

"Uhh...what does 'marry' mean?" Mariko asked.

"Marring somebody is agreeing to spend the rest of your life with somebody that you love a lot and you support each other through thick and thin, no matter what." Shikamaru explained. Mariko then played with her fingers.

"What if I said yes? Does that mean that we are officially married?" Mariko asked.

"No, it means that we are going to be married soon. Just never take that ring off." Shikamaru insisted. Mariko blushed a little.

"Sure! I'll marry you Shika-kun!" Mariko chirped. Shikamaru then got up and hugged her.

"You have no idea how happy you just made me!!!" Shikamaru then grabbed her hand and led her back to the hideout to talk to Tsuki. Once they found her, Mariko grabbed her pant leg and started tugging at it.

"Auntie Tsuki!! Auntie Tsuki!! I need to talk to you!!" Mariko whined. Tsuki then looked down and picked Mariko up.

"Sure! What's wrong?" Tsuki asked before getting her hair tugged to signal that she wanted to whisper something to her. Tsuki leaned down and Mariko told her the news. Tsuki's eyes widened and She shot up and started dancing with Mariko happily 

"OMG!! REALLY!? THAT'S GREAT MARIKO!!!" Tsuki cheered before dragging the two toddlers to her room. Tsuki was ecstatic!

"I knew there was a reason that Shikamaru asked for wedding bands!! OMG!! I'LL HELP WITH THE DRESS AND I'LL MAKE A THEME AND HELP OUT WITH-oh, wait, did you tell your mommy and daddy? I bet that they would get pretty mad at you Shikamaru, you do know that Yuki and Tobi are still mad at you for what you did..." Tsuki then pulled up a T.V. screen and it showed Yuki and Tobi sparring in the spare battle fields.

(In the battle field with Yuki and Tobi...)

Yuki and Tobi were furious, so they decided to let their anger go an some mindless fighting and battles. They were doing some target practice and then Yuki turned to Tobi.

"I can't believe that boy did that to poor little Mariko! If he ever does that again, I swear..." Yuki threatened. Tobi then went over and tried to calm her down.

"Its okay, Yuki-chan! Let the past go, you know that I'm as mad as you..." Tobi said. Yuki then nodded as calmly as she could. She then looked over at Tobi playfully.

"Ya know what, Tobi? I haven't had a real battle or mission since I got here and I don't want to get rusty! " Yuki jotted. Tobi then held up his hands defensively.

"Oh no!! I've seen you fight and I'll only do it if I can team up with somebody else!!" Tobi said, thinking that she would back down from the challenge. Yuki then looked up at him with wide chibi eyes.

"Really!? THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!! GO GET DEIDARA!!!" Yuki said as she left the field. She then dragged back a disturbed and tied up blond girly-man.

"WHAT THE HELL, UN?! LET ME GO YOU CRAZY GIRL, UN!!" Deidara cried. Yuki then smirked.

"I'll let you go if you do a two on one battle with us!" Yuki said. Deidara then smirked.

"Sure, un! As long as I get to beat up Tobi, I'm good with that, un!" Deidara cheered.

"But you're not going to be on my team, your going on Tobi's!! I've been feeling board and I want to fight a real fight, darnit!!" Yuki whined.

"But I don't want to be on the same team as Tobi! He's useless, un!" Deidara complained.

"He's not useless, he just doesn't want to fight most of the time!! NOW FIGHT WITH US OR DIE!!" Yuki threatened.

"...okay, un..." Deidara submitted. Yuki then let the bounds go.

(Back in Tsuki's room...)

"OMG!! DEIDARA AND TOBI ARE FIGHTING YUKI!! I NEED TO GO SEE HER GET CRUSHED!!" Tsuki cheered. She's been waiting to see Yuki finally loose in a battle for years, and now she might get her chance. Especially since Yuki fights in the snow and both Deidara and Tobi fight best with fire jutsu. They'll melt the ice and Yuki would be at a slight disadvantage. Tsuki rallied up all the members in the hideout and they all watched the fight.

Deidara and Tobe were standing in their fighting stances while Yuki just stood there. Dave then shouted 'BEGIN' and Yuki did some hand signs rapidly before coating the field with ice. Tobi then took off his mask and did a fire jutsu to get rid of the ice._ 'These guys are quick learners! They've only seen me fight twice and they already know how to get rid of the ice already!' _Yuki thought. She then started panting a little bit._ 'CRAP! IT'S TOO HOT!'_ Yuki thought. She then took off her jacket and threw it in a random direction. She then took out a kuni and tore the sleeves and belly part of her shirt. She then took the kuni and threw it at them. They easily dodged it and Deidara threw some of his clay birds at her. She ran around Tobi and Deidara at god like speed and the birds followed. They hit Tobi and Deidara, but then they turned into a rock and a pile of clay.

"Come on out you two, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!" Yuki threatened. Tobi and Deidara were standing above the ground and hid in the shadows of the wall, thinking of a strategy to beat her.

"I know that she fights the best in the cold, so we just need to use fire jutsu on her and she will be weakened. You saw the way that she cut away at her clothes so that she could feel cooler after I used that fire jutsu! She was practically panting! All we need to do is to get as much fire in the field as possible!" Tobi whispered. Deidara then felt something cold at his feet. He looked down and saw the field filling up with water.

"Um, Tobi, I don't think that it will be that easy, un. Look at what she's doing, un!" Deidara shouted as Tobi looked up and saw her using the same technique that Kisame used on Gai's team a while ago when they were hunting the one tailed monster that lived in Gaara. So she was basically throwing up gallons upon gallons of water into the field so that she could cool off. Once she was done with that, the field had about seven feet of water flooding it. Yuki then floated on the cool water because she fought best in cool environments, and if she fought when it was too warm, she would hyperventilate and pass out from over heating. She then did some hand signs and dove under the water. She ended up right behind Tobi and Deidara.

"FOUND YOU!!" She yelled before getting fire blown in her face. Once Tobi stopped, he noticed that Yuki wasn't there. He then felt something pull on his ankles and then he was under water. He looked around and saw Deidara under there too. He then felt a sudden chill, and looked up to see that Yuki was standing in front of them in her now tank top fishnet and short shorts. She then started swimming at a rapid pace and rammed Deidara right in the stomach. Now that Deidara was out, it was just Tobi and Yuki. Tobi pulled off his mask and did some hand signs for a fire jutsu. Once he melted the ice, he punched a hole in the wall to try to drain out all the water. Now there was a wet Yuki and Tobi just kinda standing there. Tobi then took off his mask and did a hand sign and pulled out his sharingan. He looked at Yuki and she fell for it. The next thing she knew, she was in a strange world and she was on a table. She tried to escape, but she couldn't move her limbs.

"T-tobi? Wh-where are y-you?! COME OUT YOU COWARD!!" Yuki shouted. Tobi then appeared right in front of her.

"Yes, Yuki-chan?" Tobi said in a sinister voice. Yuki then looked at him with fear.

"Wh-where are we?" She asked. Tobi then laughed an evil laugh.

"Why, we are in my world, Yuki-chan. Don't you like it?" Tobi asked. Yuki was afraid to answer at first, because if she said yes, he would keep her here longer, and if she said no, guess what, he would keep her here even longer. So, Yuki decided to be honest.

"I don't like it here." Yuki said in a slightly calmer voice. Tobi smirked under his mask.

"Good, because this is the worst place that you'll ever see." Tobi said darkly. Yuki then shivered slightly, not because she was scared, but because she knew that Tobi knew everything that she hated. Tobi then stepped back in the shadows and out stepped a man in gray suit and a large projector screen. He opened up the screen and started talking in a monotonous voice.

"You see, global warming is getting so bad, that its like a frog in a boiling pot of water..." The guy said. Yuki started screaming.

"AHHHHH!!! ITS AL GORE!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! THE PAIN!! NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE FRIGGIN' FROG SO JUST SHUT UP YOU MAN-WHORE!! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN HAVE TO DO WITH GLOBAL WARMONG?!

" Yuki shouted. After a while, she got used to Al Gore talking to her about global warming and left. Then another man came out. Yuki knew this man and then knew what he would do. Then two more men came out. Yuki then started to twitch because they were NAKED!!

"AHHHH!!! HIDAN!!! KAKUZU!!! JARIYA!!!! GO AWAY!!!" Yuki begged. They just came closer and she noticed that she was shorter and smaller than she used to be. She looked around and then saw that she was nine years old again. Hidan then came up and took out a deadly looking knife and shredded her clothes and started molesting her, then Kakuzu, and then Jariya. It was like they were taking turns at having sex with a nine year old Yuki! She screamed and begged him to stop, but she just heard her dad's voice saying 'You need to put up with the pain! Stop being a pussy and take it like a man! Wait...your so ugly that I forgot that you were actually a girl! HAHAHA!' to her over and over again. Eventually, Yuki fell asleep and got used to the pain. She also learned to not say anything to anybody except for Tobi, because she would just get back talk. Tobi then came out looking a little peeved.

"You are more resilient than I thought. I guess that I should have expected that from the goddess of death. Your seventy two hours are almost up, there is only one thing that I can think of that would defiantly make you cry, but it would effect me too..." Tobi said, trailing off on the last part. He then shrugged and let her go. Once she got out of that place, she stood there shocked for about half a second and then noticed that Tobi was running at her with kuni in both hands. Yuki took out her kantana and held Tobi there while she talked to him.

"You know that this blade will break sooner or later." Tobi said. Yuki then just laughed.

"You would think, but this sword will never break. There's a reason that this kantana it thought to be the most lethal weapon in the world. The blade is made of diamond. Your not even making a scratch on it!" Yuki said. Tobi then looked down at the sword and noticed that it was really made of diamond. The blade looked silver in the shadows, but in the light it was shiny and clear. Tobi took away his kuni and put them away. She did the same with her sword. Yuki then did some hand signs and then a big wolf appeared. The wolf was about ten feet tall and was vary strong. Yuki climbed on the back of the wolf and he pounced at Tobi. They easily pinned him and then Yuki climbed down to let the wolf get off. She petted the wolf's nose before it vanished into a big puff of smoke. She then helped Tobi up and dusted herself off.

"You do know that you mentally scarred me for life and I will never be able to look Hidan, Kakuzu, or Jariya ever again, right?" Yuki said as they left the ring.

"Yep! That means that its less guys that Tobi has to worry about!" Tobi cheered.

"That also kinda made me question what kind of guy _you_ are..." Yuki jotted. Tobi then kinda shivered.

"Don't even joke about that, Yuki-chan!" Tobi yelled.

"I'll never do it again if you never use your sharingan on me ever again, deal?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah, yeah..." Tobi then left and found Mariko in an orange tank top and some khaki shorts playing with Shikamaru. Yuki then entered the room and gave Mariko a questioning look.

"Mariko, why are you wearing gray? I thought that you hated the color gray!" Yuki asked. Tobi then looked back at Mariko and Mariko looked at her mommy.

"Mommy, I'm wearing an ORANGE shirt, not gray!" Mariko said. Tsuki then came in and saw the argument. She then tried to break it up.

"Its okay, its just color! Who cares about color?" Tsuki asked. She then whispered something to Tobi.

"Yuki has an eye condition. She's kinda color blind to the color orange because she got hit in the eyes too much as a kid..." Tsuki said.

"Wait, does that mean that she thinks that Tobi is wearing a gray mask?" Tobi whispered back. He the looked down at Yuki.

"Yuki-chan, what color is Tobi's mask?" Tobi asked. Yuki then gave him a look that said 'if-you-don't-know-that-then-your-stupid'.

"Your mask is gray silly!" Yuki said. Now Tobi knew that Tsuki wasn't kidding.

"How did she get hit in the eye?! Isn't that kinda lethal?" Tobi asked still a little freaked out. Tsuki then asked Dave to write down the schematics of a normal human eye and one of the eye with the sharingan. After her hour with Dave, she came back in and asked Yuki to lay down on the couch.

"Tsuki, what are you doing?" Yuki asked. Tsuki then tried to hit her over the head, but Yuki moved her head to the side.

"TSUKI!! WHAT THE HELL?!" Yuki yelled.

"I need to knock you out so that you won't feel pain or wiggle around. NOW LET ME KNOCK YOU OUT!!" Tsuki then started thwacking the couch at light speed, but Yuki dodged them all.

"WHY DON'T YOU USE A SEDATIVE?!" Yuki asked.

"Oh, well, yeah, I could do that. Its just more fun!" Tsuki then hitting the couch at break neck speed and Yuki kept dodging it. Yuki then started to try to run away, but Tsuki turned her legs into steel. Yuki then started running on her hands and then, guess what, her arms turned into steel! Now Yuki was upside down and then Akatuski were coming in for lunch. Yuki then felt her a cold breeze across her belly. She then looked up, and saw that her shirt fell. Hidan, Kakuzu, and almost every other guy in the Akatsuki were gapping at her. Then only exceptions were Tobi and Deidara, who were just standing ther shocked and bleeding profusely. Once they staunched the blood, Yuki was till there because she couldn't move, so Tobi tried to cover her with his cloak.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!" Yuki yelled from under the cloak. Of course they weren't listening because gravity was doing its work and the cloak was barely covering her.

"Hehe...boobies..." Hidan was about a split second from touching her, but he saw that Tobi was furious, so he backed off and whimpered in fear.

"Yuki-chan, how did you get stuck like this?" Tobi asked. Yuki just glared daggers at Tsuki. Tobi then turned around and looked at Tsuki.

"Tsuki, what did you do?" Tobi asked in an evil voice.

"I was trying to fix her eyes, and when I tried to knock her out she ran, so I turned her legs into steal, then she started running on her hands, so now she has steel limbs!" Tsuki smiled.

"COULDN'T HAVE YOU USED A SEDATIVE?!" Tobi shouted.

"But doing it the old fashion way is funner!" Tsuki cheered.

"Yeah...This is way more...'fun'..." Itachi drooled. Yuki then felt that her arms were normal again and ran off to her room on her hands. Once she go in there, everybody heard a lot of cat calls and cheesy pick up lines.

"WOOT! THE GODDESS HAS FINALY CUT LOOSE!"

"Hey, will you help me find my lost dog...Good, because I think that he ran into that motel!"

"HOTTIE ON THE MOVE WITH NO SHIRT ON AND SHE'S UPSIDEDOWN!"

Once Sasori heard the commotion, he came out of his tourture chamber and saw Yuki walking upside down with an Akatuski cloak over her legs and the cloak barley covered her.

"OMG! YUKI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Sasori then grabbed one of the blankets and helped Yuki off her hands. He then covered her up and brought her back to the castle.

"Yuki, what happened?" Sasori then noticed that Yuki was out cold and her eyes were slightly brighter yellow then what they used to be.

"Great...I guess I have to carry her back to her room..." Sasori then picked up Yuki.

"Hey, she isn't that heavy as she was before...I guess that's because she wasn't pregnant..." Sasori mumbled to himself as he put Yuki on top of her bed and decided to...look around. He looked at Yuki's massive book shelf and found poetry, philosophy , black arts practices, a diary, Lemony Snicket books,...wait...Yuki keeps a diary? WHO IN THE WORLD KEEPS A DIARY?! Out of curiosity, Sasori opened the fluffy light green cover and saw that it was all written in runic! (Its a letter set that Lml and I write in. Its derived from the vikings!)

"I guess its a good thing that I took a deciphering codes class when I went to ninja school..." Sasori mumbled. He then read some of the stuff and immediately got hooked. Apparently, she had this diary for years because it started from before she killed her clan.

_Dear Diary,_

_Tsuki and I are still stuck in our room. I guess that we won't be able to go out side for a while because we just went to the yearly diversity festival. I hate being passed off as somebody's and a wolf's love child! I wish Daddy would lighten up a little bit, he has the rules too strict and hits us whenever we break one. Oops! I got to go, Daddy spilled something and its my turn to be the house maid. _

_Love Ya'!_

_Yuki Rosanjin_

Sasori then turned the page and found it written a little bit sloppier, and also written in a reddish ink instead of ink.

_Dear Diary,_

_I did something bad today. I cut of everybody's heads and took Tsuki with me along with Mommy's special sword. The bad thing is that I don't feel bad about it because Daddy tried to do something to me. He started hitting us like he did every day, and then he pulled out some kuni. He then started hurting me really bad because I tried to fight back. I guess we are officially missing ninja. I hope that Tsuki doesn't mind hiding her ears under her head band and wearing tattered and baggy pants for a while. We need to cover ourselves up so that we won't be found. I'm also taking up a new job as a high class ninja for hire. I already got my first job! I got to go._

_Happy Birthday!_

_Yuki Rosanjin_

Sasori then felt something behind him.

"I guess that was the best and worst day of my life...I hated killing, but I hated those people so much after I found out." Yuki then took the fuzzy book and wrote in it. After she was done, she gave it back to Sasori.

"You can finish reading it if you want. I won't stop you." Yuki handed Sasori the book and he took it.

"I know just what to do with this..." Sasori said as he pulled on Yuki's arm.

"Come on, I want you to see somebody..." Sasori then pulled Yuki into a room with two people with dark hair and a lot of the girl's facial features.

" Great! I'm stuck with the failure of the clan! How did you die?" The man called out.

"Yuki? Is that you? How did you get such a great figure? How old are you? Its been a long time!! Did you become a geisha or something, because there are a lot of guys around here and you seem...'free' enough to do that sort of thing..." The woman mumbled. Yuki just stood there shocked.

"Mommy? Daddy? Is that you? Well, this is unexpected. You do know how far I've come in the real world, and why I'm here, right?" Yuki asked. Sasori then started reading the fuzzy green book out loud.

_Dear Diary, _

_Tsuki just learned how to control her new powers today, isn't that cool? Its a good thing too, because I need to kill a bad man in tea country who stole a lot of money from rock. Tsuki changed me from a ten year old girl to a twenty-ish looking blond haired, green eyed girl. I just finished the mission, and I never want to do that kind of thing again! This guy was smelly, greasy, and just plain gross! As soon as he touched me in a bad place, I sliced off his head and left A.S.A.P.! The house he lived in was dirtier that he was, so I had to look for my shirt for a while. I finally came back, got paid, and Tsuki changed me back. I hope Tsuki never has to go through what I just did. I don't think she can handle killing yet._

_Love ya lots,_

_Yuki Rosanjin_

"And I'm proud that I didn't lose my virginity when I was just ten to that dirty guy." Yuki said. Her parents were shocked.

"I was right! You did become a geisha! Why aren't you beat up like one, though?" The woman asked.

"I AM NOT A WHORE!! I'M A MOTHER NOW IF YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT!! I'M ALSO THE GOD OF DEATH, YOU STUPID-ASS-MUNCHING-HOOKER!!" Yuki yelled. Her mother was speachless. Nobody has ever said something so rude to her.

"Well, isn't that thinking a little meanly towards your own mother, Yuki-chan?" Her dad said.

"I've hated you for a long time! I'm leaving!" Yuki said before storming off. She went to the work out area and hit the punching bag a little bit before calming down. The rest of the day was pretty much normal-ish. After dinner, Tsuki sat down with Deidara and started talking to him.

"You know, Deidara-kun, we don't spend enough time together..." Tsuki started. Deidara assumed that she wanted to go shopping and mentally groaned.

"...so I was thinking of-" Tsuki was then cut off by a whining Deidara.

"I don't wanna go shopping, un! Its so boring and monotonous and expencive, un!" Deidara squealed. Tsuki then pouted.

"Do you seriously think that I want to go shopping? I HATE SHOPPING!!" Tsuki then got an evil idea and smiled sweetly at Deidara.

"Well, I guess that you don't want to do girlfriend/boyfriend stuff any more..." Tsuki started. Deidara mentally sighed.

"...so I guess no more making out, no sex ever, no hugging, no even coming near me, or talking to me for that matter..." Tsuki then smirked at the sight at Deidara freezing up on the spot.

"Fine, I'll do it, un..." Deidara said in silent defeat. Tsuki then grabbed his hand and, despite the constant licking feeling on her hand, dragged him to a field.

"What are we doing here, un?" Deidara asked. I mean, he had every right to. She dragged him in the middle of a field, in mid summer, at eight at night!

"You see this?" Tsuki then held up a small, metal air plain. She then threw it up in the air and then threw another one and made them crash into each other, and since they had real jet fuel in them, they made a big explosion.

"COOL, UN!" Deidara shouted. He then got an idea.

"I'll be right back, un." Deidara then left and then five seconds later, he came back with Kakuzu.

"You better give me my five bucks..." Kakuzu then trailed off as he saw them pouring a gallon of nail polish remover around him.

"What is that for?" Kakuzu asked.

"We wanna kill the grass!" Tsuki replied before running for her life. Then Kakuzu heard a buzzing noise come from behind, but when he turned around, he saw about three hundred little metal death traps coming straight for him. Kakuzu tried to run, but no luck. The air planes came and hit him and then a giant BOOM was heard. Tsuki and Deidara were laughing so hard that they were rolling on the ground.

"Now can we do all that stuff, un?" Deidara asked like a kid who wanted candy.

"I don't know...you didn't want to spend time with me..." Tsuki pouted.

"I'll bring Itachi and Hidan for the next one and I'll add my clay to make a real big explosion, un!" Deidara begged. Tsuki's eyes widened.

"Now, that is a definite yes!!" Tsuki cheered. Deidara glowed and came back with a clueless Itachi and a angry Hidan.

"What the fuck do you want now Deidara? ITS FUCKING EIGHT THIRTY AT NIGHT!!" Hidan screamed. Deidara then told them to stand next to the hunk of ashes. What he didn't tell them is that the hunk of ashes, that is now putting itself back into place, was Kakuzu. Tsuki quickly poured the nail polish remover around them and ran for the hills. They then turned around to be met with millions of birds, air plains, and even little clay people. Deidara then screamed out 'Katsu!!' and all the clay exploded along with the air plains and the explosion could be seen for hundreds of miles. Deidara and Tsuki then looked at it in awe.

"...now can we do it, un?" Deidara asked.

"Do what?" Tsuki asked.

"Now can we do all those things that you listed, un? Deidara asked. Tsuki then glomped him and started making out with him. Once she broke the kiss, she put her head on his chest.

"Yep!" She said before quickly pulling off of him.

"SOMETHING JUST LICKED ME FROM UNDER YOUR CLOAK!!" Tsuki screamed.

"I don't just have three mouths, un." Deidara replied. Tsuki then looked terrified.

"NO!! I only have four, un! See!" Deidara then took off his shirt to revile a big mouth on his chest. It smiled at Tsuki, who was throughly interested by now.

"Cool! Why didn't you tell me about it before?!" Tsuki then poked at the mouth and its tongue wagged out happily.

"Because you wouldn't be happy about what it's used for, un." Deidara replied sadly. Tsuki looked at him with a curious face.

"What does it do?" She asked.

"When you feed this mouth clay, I turn into a bomb and I explode into the biggest and most beautiful explosion in the history of the world, un!" Deidara then remembered all the countless hours he did researching this mouth.

"Then don't ever feed this mouth clay!" Tsuki said, a little scarred that he would even think of suicide.

"Its only for emergencies, un." Deidara said. He then smirked.

"You did say we could do ALL those things, right, un?" Deidara asked. Tsuki nodded.

"Even the second part, un?" Deidara asked. Tsuki then nodded, forgetting the second part. Deidara then grabbed her hand and dragged her back to the hideout.

Once they got back, Yuki saw then and noticed that Itachi, Hidan and Kakuzu were not there. "Hey have you guys seen Itachi, Hidan or Kakuzu around?" Yuki asked.

Tsuki giggled before she answered. "We blew them up!" She said.

"Oh, okay then. I'll get them later." Yuki said before going to check on her kids.

"Come on Tsuki-chan, un!" Deidara whined.

"Sorry!" Tsuki apologized before following Deidara to her room. "What do you want to do first?" Tsuki asked.

Deidara pinned Tsuki to the bed. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "You promised, un." Deidara reminded her. Tsuki gave in and relaxed a little.

"Okay. Please go easy on me though. It's my first time." She said. Tsuki was still a little nervous, but when Deidara pulled her into a passionate kiss, all her worries melted away. Tsuki wrapped her arms around Deidara's neck to deepen the kiss.

After a while, Deidara ran his tongue over Tsuki's lips. Tsuki opened her mouth and began to bring Deidara as close as she could. Deidara let his hands roam over Tsuki's body, and his hands traveled up her shirt. He grabbed Tsuki's breast and squeezed it a little.

Tsuki stiffened at the gesture. She thought it felt a little weird, but quickly got used to it and it got better. Deidara pulled off his cloak and threw it to the ground. While he was doing that, Tsuki took of her jacket and shirt. Deidara savored the moment of just looking over her body. But she was still wearing too many clothes in his opinion, so he took her bra off for her.

Tsuki shivered. Her upper body was completely exposed. Deidara ran his hands up her body and pulled her into another kiss and let his hands roam Tsuki's body. He brought his hands to her breasts and licked her with his palm mouths.

Tsuki moaned slightly at the feeling, and arched to get more contact. Deidara smirked and continued his administrations. He let his palms suck on her breasts. Tsuki brought her own hands to Deidara's chest and let her hands feel his skin under his shirt, and eventually broke the kiss to pull it off of him completely.

Deidara took his hands off of Tsuki's breasts and started to travel downward. He reached Tsuki's waistline and began to pull at her pants. Tsuki broke the kiss and removed her pants. She tugged at Deidara's pants before she ripped them off.

"Excited, aren't we, un?" Deidara smirked as Tsuki blushed a little before she pulled Deidara down onto the bed. Tsuki was now on top and heatedly kissed Deidara while pulling off his underwear.

They parted and Tsuki made her way down to Deidara's hardened member and began to lick it. Tsuki then brought the whole thing into her mouth and began to suck at it. Deidara moaned and bucked a little, nearly gagging Tsuki. He could feel his climax coming and grabbed Tsuki's hair, trying to get as much as he could into her mouth. Deidara groaned loudly before releasing into Tsuki's mouth. She swallowed the cum the best she could and licked up any she missed.

Deidara sat up and kissed Tsuki. He then set her back on the bed before pulling off her underwear. Now she lay completely naked before him. He positioned himself at her entrance and looked at Tsuki's face. He leaned down until he was only a breath away. "This will hurt for a second, but I promise it will get better, un." Deidara smiled and kissed Tsuki before sliding almost painfully slowly into her hot, warm slit. He reached her barrier and with one swift motion, broke through.

Tsuki tensed and cringed at the pain that coursed through her. The pain took a little to subside but after it left, she felt good. She moved a little to get used to the feeling. Deidara pulled out a little and thrust back in, sending a wave of pleasure through both of them. Tsuki moaned into Deidara's mouth. Deidara's thrusts became faster and faster, until he was slamming into her to try and get as deep as possible. Tsuki began to buck and meet his thrusts, going at a rapid pace.

Tsuki never knew that it would be this wonderful. "Deidara-Danna!" She screamed as her muscles clenched. Deidara was on the edge and just one more little thing could send him over. "DANNA!!" Tsuki screamed as she came all over both of them. That sent him over and Deidara groaned as he released into Tsuki. Deidara had just enough strength left to fall next to Tsuki and pull out.

Tsuki whimpered at the loss of the great warmth of him being inside her. "I love you, Deidara-Danna." Tsuki whispered before she nuzzled closer to her lover.

Deidara smiled and kissed the top of Tsuki's head. "I love you too, Tsuki-chan, un." He said before letting sleep set in.

(A/N: I just keep getting better at these...or not T-T)

The next morning, Tsuki woke up and felt strong arms around her. She almost panicked at the unusual feeling, but quickly remembered what had happened the night before and just lied there for a while. Tsuki eventually got bored and began to try to wriggle her way out of Deidara's arms.

"No...teddy...don't...go...un..." Deidara mumbled. He then woke up and saw Tsuki making her way out of the room to take a shower. At first he was confused, but then he smirked as he remembered what happened. He then quietly snuck up behind her and hopped in the shower with her. Deidara then wrapped his arms around her waist. She jumped and then started panicking.

"AHHH!! THE TOOTSIE ROOLS _**ARE**_ BACK!!! I NEED TO WARN YUKI-NIISAN!!" Tsuki shouted. Deidara then turned her around and then she calmed down a little bit.

"Oh, hi Deidara-danna! Don't ever scare me like that again!!" Tsuki said, a little bit happier than she should have. Deidara pulled her into a passionate kiss. Tsuki just wanted to get a shower, but this was okay too.

After a while, Tsuki felt Deidara get hard against her. She moaned at the sensation and arched a little. Deidara let his hands roam over Tsuki's wet body. His hands went to her slit and began to lick it. Tsuki moaned a little louder and would have fallen, had Deidara not been holding her up against him.

Soon, Tsuki was up against the wall of the shower. Deidara removed his hand and slid into her. Tsuki shivered as she felt him go further into her core, spreading heat through her body.

Deidara pulled out and slammed back into her, making Tsuki scream. "Deidara-Danna!" She moaned. She wrapped her leg around Deidara to get him as deep into her as possible. She bucked to meet his thrusts, going to a rapid pace.

Deidara hit deep into her and she let out a long, deep moan. He smirked and hit it again. Tsuki was blinded by the pleasure she received. Deidara was close to the edge, but lost it when Tsuki clenched around him, and climaxed all over them. "DEIDARA!" Tsuki screamed. He lost it and climaxed into Tsuki.

For a while, they just stood there in the shower panting from exhaustion. "That was...awesome." Tsuki breathed. "But they are gonna yell at us for taking so long to get up." Tsuki said.

Deidara nodded and pulled out of her before they washed up and got ready for the day.

By the time the two of them got to the kitchen to eat, everyone else had already eaten. "Better late then never. I'm starving." Tsuki said as she pulled out some cereal to eat.

"WHAT THE HELL TOOK SO LONG?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HOT WATER COST US, AND YOU JUST SPENT THREE HOURS IN THE SHOWER!!" Kakuzu screamed.

"Hot water is free because you pump in a pipe that travels across my room, Kakuzu. It cost more to get cold water." Yuki said in a ho-so-smarter-than-you way. "I just charge you for it because its funny to see you get an extremely large bill that you have to pay for!" Yuki added. At that, Kakuzu fumed.

"YOU MEAN THAT YOU ARE GETTING THE HOT WATER BILL?!" Kakuzu screamed.

"If you keep screaming, you'll wear out your voice." Yuki warned. "Are you two ready to go yet?" Yuki, Tobi, Mariko, and Reizo were carrying bags and Yuki and Tobi were wearing their cloaks and hats.

"OMG!! I almost forgot!! We'll be right back!!" Tsuki then grabbed Deidara's hand and dragged him back to his room.

"What's going on, un?" Deidara asked.

"We need to go to Konoha, its like a vacation!" Tsuki then reappeared in her cloak and hat. Deidara quickly packed clothes for a week and put his stuff on. They then left with the others plus Gaara!

"Why is he coming, un?" Deidara asked, pointing to Gaara who was playing with his gerbil-wife-thing.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!!" Yuki yelled. She then saw the gates of the village and walked in on the weekly village activity. This week, it was dance the thriller extremely fast!! Yuki walked into a random, yet nice looking, hot spring resort and waited until they were done dancing. When the keeper walked in, at first they were terrified.

"OMG!! AKATSUKI!!! RUN!!" She yelled. Then she remembered that the Akatsuki owned the world now and offered them rooms. Everybody got their own rooms, though Tobi and Yuki shared one room, as well as Deidara and Tsuki. The kids also slept in their parents' room.

After they had dinner, Yuki and Tsuki left for the hot springs to bathe. They stripped naked and grabbed some towels to bathe with before entering the hot, relaxing waters.

"Ahhh. I love the springs!" Tsuki said as she sank into the water. Yuki followed quickly and they relaxed for a while before Yuki decided to mess with her younger sibling.

"Hey Tsuki?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah?"

"What took you two so long this morning? Usually you would be up just after I get to the base." Yuki smiled evilly.

Tsuki blushed a nice shade of red and tried to sink lower into the water, as if trying to disappear. "Uhh..." Tsuki tried to get a good answer. "We accidentally slept in." Tsuki lied.

Yuki saw right through it, but decided to mess with her a little more. "Then why were you in the shower for three hours?" She asked.

'_I didn't think of that!'_ Tsuki panicked in her mind. "Umm!" Tsuki saw the amusement in her sister's eyes. Heck you didn't even have to see it, you could_ feel_ it.

Yuki grinned like a madman. (which she probably was) "Oh there's no use trying to hide it now! You-"

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Tsuki ran out of the springs at light speed. The water didn't even move for a moment.

"That's what she always says when she really _did_ do it." Yuki smiled as she stood from the water, and wagged her tail a bid to get the water off of it. "I'll have to tell this little discovery to Tobi-kun." Yuki said gleefully as she dried herself and changed back to her normal clothes.

Yuki walked back to her room to see Tobi trying to get Mariko to calm down. "Tobi-kun, WHY is Mariko bouncing off the walls?" Yuki asked as she tried to grab her daughter.

"Mariko got into the sugar cookies! Tobi said she could have one, but Mariko shoveled the whole jar! There were more than thirty cookies in there!" Tobi finally grabbed the hyper toddler and tied her to the bed. "Tobi really dosen't like to to this, but Mariko has to calm down!" Tobi scolded.

Just after Tobi said that, Mariko went out like a light. "..."

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?!" Yuki asked.

"Tobi didn't think it would work..."

"Well, now we know next time to just let her wear off the sugar by being tied to the bed and telling her to calm down." Yuki said. Then she remembered what she wanted to tell Tobi. "Tobi-kun, I wanna tell you something." Yuki had that evil, madman grin on her face. It actually scared Tobi a bit, but then again, who didn't it scare?

"What is it, Yuki-chan?" Tobi asked.

"My little sister, Tsuki isn't innocent anymore." Yuki said evilly as her eyes looked as if they would make something catch fire. (I'M GONNA BURN IT WITH FIRE! Burn it with fire... This is really funny if you hear it in person, 'cause it's pronounced weird, but you can't really describe it.)

Tobi just sat there for a while. "Really? Tobi thought Tsuki would never do that." Tobi thought on it for a minute. "Then again, Tobi didn't think he would do that either."

"Now we have to embarrass her in front of everybody. Help me think of a plan. Wait...where's Reizo?" Yuki asked.

Tobi pointed to the couch and Reizo was sleeping under it. "That's kinda weird. I have to remember to give him a cookie for that. Anyway, getting back to the plan. First we need thirty pounds of dead grass, some rope, and a lighter. You get the rope, I'll get the lighter and grass." Yuki said.

"What the heck are you gonna do with thirty pounds of grass, rope and a lighter?!" Tobi asked.

"WE'LL THREATEN HER WITH FIRE! Threaten her with fire..." Yuki said.

"Wouldn't Tsuki just put out the fire with her powers?" Tobi asked.

"Oh, yeah...forgot about that. Well, new plan! Put her in your Tsukiyoumi justu. Torture her until she tells everyone that she did it." Yuki Grinned even more. "While she is in there, you can threaten her with FIRE! Threaten her with fire..."

"ENOUGH WITH THE DARN FIRE!!" Tobi yelled. Yuki looked up at him looking a little hurt, she really liked the fire thing... "Tobi's sorry, it's just that the fire thing was getting on Tobi's nerves."

"It's okay Tobi-kun!" Yuki glomped Tobi. "We can bug Tsuki tomorrow. Let's get some sleep." Yuki said as she changed into her pajamas.

They were now both in bed, and Yuki cuddled up with Tobi. "I love you, Tobi-kun." Yuki said.

"I love you too, Yuki-chan." Tobi said before going off to sleep.

Then, after everyone had gone to sleep, a shadowy figure emerged from the doorway. His spiky hair shone ever so slightly in the light of the moon. It was none other than...

...SHIKA! If you thought it was going to be leader, try again next time. Anyway, Shikamaru made his way to Mariko's bed and untied her. He picked her up bridal style and left.

"Now we can be together, my dear Mariko-hime. You can live with me and your parents can't keep us apart." Shikamaru said softly to the unconscious girl in his arms.

&&&&&&

Lml-Ohhh! Cliffy and creepy Shika! THE TERROR! Oh, and I won't follow through with the previous threats of not updating full chapters. I just can't resist the urge to type!

HEP- WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE POOR SHIKA-KUN CREEPY LIKE THAT?! Now I'm gonna have nightmares. Wait...no I won't.

Lml- Good, 'cause the next chapter is with mainly toddler style stuff. Oh, and all you readers out there, REVIEW!! Or else...I won't like you. There! And believe me, HEP won't like you either, and you don't want HEP angry at you. She was angry at me once and...You don't want to know.

HEP- HELL YEAH!

Lml- See you next chappie!


	18. The next chapter

Woot! Another fun filled chapter of Lml and HEP writing the ridiculously named story! Aka, The boy who cried ninja. Aka, BWCN. Anyway I- HEP WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!

HEP- tries to swim in dry noodles IM JUST LIKE KISAME!!

Kisame- I HAVE FANS!!

HEP- I have fans too. And they are awesome because they review my stories. Unlike SOME people. glares at readers that don't review I KNOW WHERE YOU READ FICTIONS!!

Lml- You guys that DO review. You get the honor of being listed here!

HappyEmoPuppies9034

deidarakun342

DeidaraLovesMe

kikineto

IluvDeidara

Lml- Geez, people are obsessed with Deidara. I have one question for you Deidara obsessed maniacs...WHY?! What happened to all the Itachi fan girls? I mean, this one girl I know is a total 'Tachi fan. Or better yet, WHERE ARE THE DROP DEAD TOBI FANS?! I mean, nobody I know has even heard of Tobi, and my older sister HEP knows a guy that doesn't even know Kabuto's name. He calls him q-card guy... But that is beside the point.

HEP- Calm down Lml. They are the only reviewers you have. You should thank them. AND GIVE THEM WEIRD GIFTS!!

Lml- YEAH! TAKE IT AWAY WEIRD ANNOUNCER GUY!!

HEP- AND STAY AWAY FROM ME!...wait, YOU STOLE MY THING!!!

Both- YEAH!!

(over three nanometers away from HEP wearing a bunny suit and standing next to HEP's dog, Maxamillion)

Why yes, Bob, Each of these lovely reviewers win a piece of string that I found in my back pocket!! Yes, this butt-string is probably years old, and you all get to share it!! You also win wonderful dates for the evening!!! Here you go!!! 

HappyEmoPuppies9034-Dominic the Donkey

deidarakun342- Al Gore

DeidaraLovesMe-OJ Simpson

kikineto-Harry Potter

luvDeidara-Michel Jackson

Well, I hope you like your wonderful prizes!! (Max suddenly jumps up and bites the werid guy in the groin and won't let go) I need to go to the emergency room now!!

(Back in Lml's oh-so-darker-than-natural-blue room)

HEP- NIKKI-CHAN'S NAME IS NOT BOB, THOSE PRIZES ARE TERRIBLE, AND I WISH YOU WOULD JUST GO DIE IN A DITCH THAT GETS LIGHT ON FIRE! Light on fire...

Lml- Calm down HEP...last time you got angry, somebody died...

HEP- Yeah, your right...I LIKE CANDY!!!

Lml- But you can't eat candy, Your supposed to be on a liquid diet because you got braces today.

HEP is sitting in the corner with a big bucket of chocolate and is munching it like there is no tomorrow

Lml- GREATNESS!! NOW YOU'LL BE WEIRDER THEN NOMAL!!! I hope you don't mind a messed up chappie, cause your going to get one now.

Itachi- If she gets hyper and weird when she eats candy, then why do you buy it?

Lml & HEP- BECAUSE WE LIKE CANDY!!!!!

Itachi-...okay

ON WITH THE CHAPPIE!!

&&&&&&

Sunlight poured through the windows, illuminating the room in all its glory. Well, maybe not glory, but something. Yuki was awakened by the rays of sun on her eyelids and the warmth of the light on her ears.

Yuki stretched a little and pried herself out of Tobi's death grip. She took a quick shower before getting dressed. She paused when she got her shirt on. Yuki looked over the room and saw that Mariko was no longer tied to the bed, or in the room at all.

"Oh no." Yuki walked over to the bed and tried to pick up the scent of her daughter. Only a faint trail was left, but it was something. Yuki followed it to the outside of the room. The smell of the springs overwhelmed the scent of her lost child. "Mariko, sweetie. Please come to mommy." Yuki called.

After a minute of waiting, Yuki went back to Tobi and shook him awake. "Tobi! Tobi, Mariko's missing!" As soon as he heard that, Tobi was wide awake.

"What?!" Tobi put on his mask and got out of bed.

"Get dressed, I'll get Reizo and we can look for Mariko. I'll wake up Tsuki and she can help, too." Yuki said. She walked over to the couch and woke Reizo. "Reizo, honey. You have to wake up." Yuki called to her son.

Reizo stirred and woke a bit. "Whaaat?" Reizo asked.

"Your sister is missing and we have to look for her. Now be a good boy and get dressed. We can get some dango when we find Mariko. Kay?" Yuki said as she picked up Reizo.

"Okay, Mommy." Reizo left to get dressed and Tobi came back in.

"Tobi already woke Tsuki. She will be ready in a minute." Tobi said.

"Okay." Yuki said. Tsuki walked into the room, and looked a little worried.

"Do you think anyone took her?" Tsuki asked.

"I would have sensed them if anyone had come in." Yuki said.

"Our smell is weakened by the springs and you were probably too relaxed to notice if anyone was in the room, assuming it might just be someone else in the building." Tsuki reasoned. She moved toward the bed. "There is an extremely faint trace of someone other than your family here. They might have been here for five minutes and left. I can't tell who it is though. We will have to search all of Konoha. Or even farther considering that they had all night to travel to anywhere else."

Yuki looked on the brink of tears. "It's my fault! I was a bad parent. I hope we find her. No, we have to find her!" Yuki was totally freaking out.

Tobi walked over to Yuki and hugged her. "Don't worry, Yuki. We will find her. You're not a bad parent. Tobi didn't catch anyone either. It's not your fault." Tobi said softly to the woman in his arms. This was so out of character for Yuki.

Tsuki looked at them and got an idea. "We could ask Dave where Mariko is. He would know." Tsuki said.

Yuki blinked the tears out of her eyes. "You're right! Dave knows everything! He could tell us!" Yuki said. Hope filled her eyes.

**DAVE HAS ARRIVED!**

Tsuki nodded. "Where is Mariko, Dave? Who took her? Please tell us. We have to find her." Tsuki asked.

**I know that! Mariko is fine and is currently three miles north of the fire village border. Her captor is Shikamaru Nara.**

Yuki's gaze turned from hope, to fear. "No. What if he rapes her? What is he gonna do to my baby?!" Yuki cried. Tsuki knew this was a little dramatic, but any good mother would be worried.

"Yuki, you have to pull yourself together and get out of here so we can get to Mariko before any of that stuff DOES happen to her." Tsuki said.

"Yeah. We should get going. Tsuki, stay here and watch Reizo for me. Tobi and I will be off to the Northern border. We should be back in a day or so. Keep everyone else calm until we are back." Yuki commanded as she handed Reizo to Tsuki.

"Hai. I will make sure to keep things under control." Tsuki assured. "Now hurry and go before they get too much farther." Yuki nodded and left, Tobi close behind.

Tsuki sat on the bed. "Oh, the trouble with kids. I feel sorry for Yuki-niisan. What about you, Reizo?" Tsuki looked at the small boy in her arms and smiled a bit when she noticed that he had fallen back to sleep.

"Figures." Tsuki sighed and placed Reizo on the bed gently. She put a blanket over him and left to check on the rest of the Akatsuki.

Of course, Deidara was already up because he shared a room with Tsuki. "Deidara-Danna, Mariko's missing. Tobi and Yuki have already gone to retrieve her." Deidara looked at her.

"She's missing, un?" Deidara asked. He was only half paying attention while eating cereal.

"Yeah, but we know that she is at the northern border and that the person who took her was Shikamaru Nara. They should be back by late today or early tomorrow."

Deidara nodded. "Isn't Shikamaru that guy who like, raped Mariko, un? That could be bad. Think of the things he could do out in the woods alone, un."

"Yeah. Yuki already spazzed out about that before she left." Tsuki said as she got her own cereal. (A/N:Yummy cereal! Except for raisin bran. That's icky.)

"She was like, on mental breakdown. She cried. CRIED! Yuki doesn't cry, or at least from emotional problems. I'm happy I don't have to worry about my children getting kidnapped because I don't have any." Tsuki said as she took a seat next to Deidara.

"Yeah. Do you think Shikamaru will do something evil to little Mariko? I mean, he could get her to run away with him, un. I mean, she's like what, five? She would believe or do anything he says, un." Deidara said.

"Well, she's not really five years old, but I turned her into a five year old. So yeah." Tsuki looked down at her cereal and sighed. "This must be really hard for Tobi and Yuki. I feel sorry for them. I wouldn't know, but having a child taken away is awful. Like getting rid of a pet. Or losing an item you have possessed for many years, and lose it. But it is your _child._ More than a pet or any mere object." Tsuki said.

"I don't feel like eating anymore. See you later, Deidara-Danna." Tsuki said as she put her bowl in the sink and walked off. "Oh, watch Reizo for a while, I gotta talk to Shikamaru's parents and tell them he has become a child molester." Tsuki said before she walked off.

Tsuki found the Nara residence, and knocked on the door. A woman with shoulder length brown hair answered the door.

"Hello miss. May I speak to Mrs.Nara?" Tsuki asked.

"I'm right here." The woman smiled.

"Okay miss, are you aware that your son has molested a child five years of age and that he is now about three and a half feet tall?" Tsuki asked.

The woman blinked "What?"

"Your son has molested a five year old and now looks like a five year old himself." Tsuki said. "He will be under arrest for rape, kidnapping, and various other things. I thought you might want to know. I hope to see you again some time." Tsuki turned and left the woman just standing at the door.

Tsuki walked back to the hot springs bath house. She went to Yuki's room and saw that Reizo was still sleeping on the bed. "Aww. How long is he going to sleep? I better get him up." Tsuki went over to the bed.

Tsuki shook Reizo a little. He didn't budge. Tsuki got an evil idea and picked him up. She took him to the springs and threw him in.

"AHHHH!" Reizo screamed as he flew through the air and landed with a splash in the steaming waters. "HOT! HOT! HOT!" Reizo yelled as he tried to swim to the edge and pull himself out. He did eventually, but now he regretted leaving the warmth of the springs. It _was_ January and still winter time.

Tsuki laughed at the edge of the springs. She had thrown him a good distance into the water. Reizo glared at her. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" He yelled.

"You wouldn't wake up. So I knew this would have you up. Now come on, you missed breakfast and have to wait 'till lunch to eat. It's around 11, so what do you want to do?" Tsuki asked as they walked back to Yuki's room.

"I wanna get some dry clothes on, and go back to sleep." Reizo stated.

"You're not allowed to go back to sleep. In fact, how about I start you on ninja training? You only have a few more months until the academy, and you will have a jump start on the other students." Tsuki suggested.

Reizo looked up at her. "We have to go to an academy?"

"Yes you do. It teaches you how to control chakara, different hand signs, strategies, and other basic things. You have to pass at the academy before you can go to qualify to be a ninja. Even then, only nine students go on to be genin." Tsuki explained.

"How long do you have to stay in the academy?" Reizo asked.

"The age of which most become genin is about twelve, so on average it is six years of hard training. I graduated early, at age 9, just before Yuki and I set off from the village." Tsuki said. "Some people graduate early, and they usually go off to be great ninja, but even the ninja that passed at the normal age can surpass them. It is really how well you can do in the field. It is very different in the academy than in the field. And then there's the chuunin exams. I never became a chuunin, having left after becoming a gennin, but I know a little about them. I should really take that exam." Reizo had changed and they were wandering around the bath house for a while.

Tsuki went into the room she shared with Deidara. "Deidara-Danna, I'm gonna be gone for a while. Do you want to come with Reizo and I?" Tsuki asked from the door frame.

Deidara looked at her and nodded. "It's way better than sitting here waiting for Tobi and Yuki come back, un. And it's lonely without you." Deidara followed Tsuki out of the bath house. Tsuki led them to an open field in after a few minutes of walking through the forest.

"These are my old training grounds." Tsuki said. It was not too big, but had a small stream at the far side of the clearing. "Now, the first thing I want to teach you the different ranks of ninja there are." Tsuki pulled out a scroll. "First, there's gennin, the lowest rank of ninja where all ninja start. They get the easiest and lowest paying missions. These are the D ranked missions. They sometimes take on C ranked missions if they are more experienced."

Tsuki pulled off her headband. "This is given to each ninja when they become a gennin. It shows that you are a graduated ninja and what village you are from." Tsuki put her headband back on her arm and continued.

"The next highest is chuunin. These ninja get higher level missions, these are the C and B ranked missions. Chuunin are able to learn higher class justus. These ninja are allowed to lead small groups of gennin and other chuunin. Certain chuunin go to teach at the academy." Tsuki explained. She pulled out a chuunin vest. "This is a typical chuunin vest. Given to each chuunin. Only chuunin may wear one, but they do not always wear them. Shows status in the ninja ranks."

Tsuki looked over to where Reizo was. "Now we get to the higher ups. The next highest is jonin. These ninja are very skilled and often take on A classed missions, and sometimes go on S ranked missions if they are experienced enough. They may also take on groups of gennin and teach them in the field, outside of the academy. They are the team leader that you will be assigned when you become a gennin. Chuunin are selected to take an exam to become jonin. It is not really described how they become jonin though." Reizo seemed to be staring off into space.

"HEY! You getting all this?" Tsuki asked.

Reizo snapped his head up. "Uhh...Yeah?"

"Then what kind of missions do the jonin often take up?" Tsuki questioned.

"Uhhh...A and S ranked?" Reizo said.

"Good. Now, what were you daydreaming about?" Tsuki asked.

"I wasn't. I was just listening so intently, that it seemed to be that I wasn't paying attention." Reizo said.

"Where did you get the word 'intently'?" Tsuki asked.

"I did something bad and mommy made me copy the dictionary three times." Reizo said.

"Oh, well back to the lesson." Tsuki made a chalk board appear. "As a quiz, I want you to come up and list the three levels of ninja we went over in order from least to most powerful." Tsuki handed Reizo the chalk.

Reizo walked up to the chalkboard and picked up the chalk. He listed genin, chuunin, and jonin. "Good, now under each one, list what ranking missions each will go on."

Reizo began to list the mission rankings under each of the levels of ninja. Under gennin, he put D and C rank. For Chuunin, C and B rank. And for jonin, A and S. "Good, so you were paying attention. I will quiz you again in a few days. That is probably it for now, it's about noon. We should get some lunch." Tsuki looked over to Deidara who was half asleep under a tree. "Come on Deidara-Danna. What do you think we should have for lunch?" Tsuki asked.

"Uhh...maybe we could just walk around and see what there is in the village, un." They left the clearing and Tsuki got rid of the chalkboard. They wandered around the village, and Tsuki spotted a ramen stand.

"RAMEN!!" Tsuki grabbed the two boys and ran for the ramen stand. "Reizo! You have never had ramen have you? Well, I gotta tell you, it's awesome!" Tsuki raved. A woman from behind the counter walked toward them.

"Hello, what would you like?"

"I would like beef ramen!" Tsuki cheered. Reizo looked at the lady. "The kid will have chicken ramen."

"And I would like to have some chicken ramen too, un." Deidara said.

The woman smiled. "I will be right back with your orders." She then turned and left.

Tsuki picked Reizo up and put him in a seat. "I promise you will like it. Ramen is really good." Tsuki smiled "Did you like our little lesson?"

"Yeah. But it was kinda boring, I thought we would do other stuff. I mean, sitting in front of a chalkboard listening to you talk? How will that help me become a ninja?" Reizo asked.

"You have to learn the rules of being a ninja. You also have to learn the different rankings of ninja and missions. Along with tactical training, like finding the fastest and safest route to a particular place or area. Or how to read a map, or what different symbols on a map mean. You would look stupid if you are a gennin and don't even know how to read a map." Tsuki explained.

Reizo nodded. "I guess. Is all this stuff why they keep kids in the academy for six years?"

"Yes. There are many rules and also there are basic justsus you must perfect and it sometimes takes months to perfect even the simplest of justus. Plus, if you are a ninja, there are many precautions you have to take, or you will die out in the field. You must be able to think on a problem for a split second and make the correct move in battle, or it may cost a teammate's or your own life. And- Ohh! Here comes our ramen!" Tsuki cheered.

The woman set the bowls before them. Tsuki grabbed her chopsticks and didn't hesitate in eating. Reizo looked at the ramen for a moment, and grabbed his chopsticks and began to eat. He tasted it, and paused. Reizo was now eating ramen like his aunt. Tsuki finished long before Reizo and Deidara. Reizo finished a few minutes after, and Deidara after Rezio.

"Tsuki! Ramen is good! Can we get some more sometime?" Reizo asked as they exited the ramen stand.

"Yeah, maybe the next time we pass it we can get some." Tsuki said as they walked down the road back to the bath house.

(With Yuki and Tobi...)

Yuki and Tobi were running north and finally hit a small trading town. They decided to stop so they could talk to Dave and grab a small bite to eat, since they didn't eat breakfast.

"Dave, is Mariko here?" Yuki asked as she munched on some sushi.

**Dave says, yes they are and they are in the church next door. Wear a pretty dress!!! AND ORDER DAVE A POTATO!! **

"Dave, why are you acting weird today?" Yuki asked as she ate the last piece of her sushi.

**BECAUSE DAVE HAD TOO MUCH COCO PUFFS THIS MORNING!!**

"Oooookay. I'll go get the dress, I'll be right back." Yuki said, afraid of what might happen to her if she didn't do as Dave said. On her way, she picked up a huge potato. She ran into the dress shop next door and picked out a black kimono with a thin white obi. The obi had small, black birds on it, and it was quick and cheap. Yuki quickly put it on in the dressing room, paid for it, and left into the church a few blocks away. Once she got in there, she saw Shikamaru manipulating Mariko.

"Do you, Shikamaru Nara, take this girl, Mariko Uchiha, as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through richer or poorer, through thick and thin, through sickness and health, do death do you part?" The bishop, who looked an awful lot like Hidan, said.

"I do" Shikamaru said.

"And do you, Mariko Uchiha, take this boy, Shikamaru Nara, as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through richer or poorer, through thick and thin, through sickness and health, do death do you part?" The Hidan-bishop asked again. Shikamaru then leaned slightly towards Mariko.

"Who has a pretty dress on?" Shikamaru asked in a cute tone. Mariko then turned around and pointed to a ponted Yuki.

"That lady!!" Mariko squealed. She then got a closer look and saw that it was Yuki.

"HI MOMMY!!!" Mariko screamed as she ran down the aisle and hugged her mom.

"Then I now pronounce you man and that lady." The bishop-Hidan then slicked back his already smooth hair and closed his bible.

"But mommy is married to daddy!!" Mariko said, still attached to Yuki's leg. Yuki then blushed a little.

"Well...you see...kinda sorta..." Yuki stumbled. The bishop then gasped.

"Unmarried sex and you kept the child!!! That is a sin!!" The bishop screeched.

"I NEVER SAID I WASN'T MARRIED!!" Yuki yelled and carried Mariko away.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH MY BRIDE!?" Shikamaru yell-asked. Over the course of the last day or so, he had become obsessed with, or more like stalking, Mariko. It got so bad, that he even stole a pair of her underwear!!

"If you haven't noticed, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER! SO BUG OFF!" Yuki yelled back as she picked up Mariko. "YOU WANT HER BACK, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ME!" Yuki yelled. "Mariko, go outside. Daddy is out there waiting for you."

"YAY! DADDY!" Mariko yelled as she ran out of the church.

"Now anyone who wants to take me on, speak now or forever hold your peace!" Yuki challenged the crowd. They remained silent. "Then I will be leaving now." Yuki grabbed Shikamaru by his spiky ponytail on top of his head. "And you are coming with me." Yuki dragged him out of the church.

"WHY?!" Shikamaru screeched.

"Shikamaru Nara, you are under arrest for rape, kidnapping, having weird hair-"

"SINCE WHEN IS HAVING WEIRD HAIR AGAINST THE LAW?!"

"It is in this country. So you are being charged for that. When we get back to Konoha, you will be in prison for 30 years!" Yuki said cheerfully.

"What a drag. Wait, what about Mariko? She is engaged to me!" Shikamaru protested.

"She can always give you back the ring, and call off the proposal." Yuki said. Now they were traveling back to Konoha. Mariko blissfully asleep in Tobi's arms.

"She is too young to be married anyway. She hasn't even spent a day in the academy." Yuki said.

Mariko stirred a little. She cracked her eyes open, and blinked a few times. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Mariko-chan?" Tobi asked.

"When can we eat? Isn't it about lunch time?" Mariko asked.

"We can take a little break for lunch, okay?" Tobi said. He looked to Yuki. "Yuki, can we stop for a while? Mariko is hungry."

Yuki nodded and they stopped in a nearby field by a river. "We can stop here." Yuki tied up Shikamaru and set him down. "I brought some sandwiches. What would you like, Mariko?" Yuki asked.

"I want a ham sandwich!" Mariko said as she ran over to her mother.

"Here you go, sweetie. We can leave as soon as everyone is done." She told her. Mariko nodded and began to eat her sandwich.

"Tobi-kun! You want anything?" Yuki asked.

"No, Tobi's okay." Tobi said as he took a seat near Shikamaru to keep an eye on him.

"Suit yourself." Yuki said as she pulled out a turkey sandwich.

A few minutes later, they had finished eating and got some water from the nearby stream before heading off.

(Back with Tsuki, Reizo and Deidara)

The three had made it back to the bath house and Tsuki found a T.V. The best part was, it had a Wii. (I don't own the wii or Rayman Raging Rabbids) "Ooh! I love to play this game!" Tsuki cheered as she turned it on and picked up the remote.

She selected the game Rayman Raging Rabbids, and started a new profile. She flew through the levels. Tsuki had finished five levels when Reizo came in.

"What is that?" Reizo asked.

"It is the Wii! The great video game console. And there is two player! You wanna play?" Tsuki asked. Reizo nodded. "Here!" Tsuki tossed him another remote and nun chuck.

"Come over here! I'll teach you how to play." Tsuki said. "The first thing we do is go into score mode, and make our characters." Tsuki quickly made her little Rayman dude. "You just move the remote and on the screen you can see your cursor. You select the style you want and click next." Reizo did just that and they went to where you select the games.

"I don't have too much unlocked, but the best thing to start off with is the dancing! It is fun and all you have to do is move your remote or nun chuck when the bunny is at the little stars next to your person." Tsuki demonstrated the motion. "Got it?"

"Yeah."

"Good!"

And they started to play. Tsuki selected the easiest level to start Reizo on. "Bunnies are fantastic dancers!"

In the end, Tsuki scored more than 1000 points while Reizo had around 650. "I WANT A REMACH!" Reizo demanded.

"Sure thing! " Tsuki started the game over. This time, Tsuki had 1200 and Reizo had 970. "How about we go for a harder one? The constant flow of bunnies is easier to keep the beat with." Tsuki suggested. Reizo just shrugged and Tsuki picked another.

This one was bunnies just wanna have fun. "You have got to be kidding me!" Rezio shouted.

"Trust me, Reizo. This one really is harder. Even if it isn't by much." Tsuki said. The game started and Reizo missed the very first one.

"It is harder..."

The game ended with Reizo getting 830 and Tsuki getting 1250. "How are you better at this one than at the other one?!" Reizo asked.

"I'm just different like that. Wanna play the regular mode so we can unlock more levels?"

"...Yes."

"Then get ready for some video game action! These can get pretty tough though. So be prepared."

"Yeah!"

The two just played wii for the next hour. They made it into the seventh level when Tsuki had the urge to check the time. "Hold on for a sec." Tsuki put down her controller and looked at a nearby clock. "It's just about three. We should really stop." Tsuki said as she turned off the wii.

"I wanna play!" Reizo whined.

"You can play later. First, you have to graduate from Harvard."

"What?"

"Oh, wrong show. Anyway, the point is you can't play right now." Tsuki pulled the remote and nun chuck away from Reizo. "Right now, we have to get you washed up before dinner." Tsuki said.

"But I don't wanna!" Reizo protested.

"Well, you sometimes have to do things you don't want to. NOW GO GET WASHED UP BEFORE I THROW YOU IN AGAIN!" Tsuki threatened.

"Hai!" Reizo ran off in fear. Tsuki smirked a little and left for the bathes to make sure Reizo was getting washed. Also to bathe herself. ('cause it is mixed batheing.)

Tsuki went to the springs to see that Reizo was already in the water. "Good." Tsuki said to herself. She stripped and got some towels before going into the hot water.

Reizo saw Tsuki and swam just a bit further away. He was a little scared of his aunt. "Hi Auntie Tsuki. What are you doing here?" He asked stupidly.

"I'm here to keep an eye on you. I also want to bathe before it gets dark, which it does really early in the winter." Tsuki said. "And Valentines day is coming up soon! I love holidays. We get candy, and we get love notes, and heart shaped things. But the best thing is that we have a reason to not do anything all day. As if we don't already do that though." Tsuki was in a little daydream about the holiday.

"Before we got into the Akatsuki, we never got to celebrate much. Mostly because we lost track of time and missed it, but we still remembered some things." Tsuki explained. "Heck, we didn't even do the New Year thing this year. Stay up 'till midnight and then drink until you pass out. That is a fun one."

Tsuki sank a little into the water. "And we wake up the next morning and forget that it is the new year. Yippie." Tsuki looked over to see Reizo trying to scoot farther away. "Don't try to get away from me! I am your only aunt to love and spoil you to no extent!" Tsuki grabbed Reizo and hugged him real tight.

Apparently, Tsuki forget that they both were only wearing towels, and Reizo was having issues with being squeezed in his aunt's breasts. They were big, soft, and comforting, but it was his AUNT. No kid wants to be in this situation unless they are really messed up.

"Can I please go get ready for dinner now?" Reizo asked, barely even able to breathe in Tsuki's grasp.

"Sure! I will see you at the front door at four, 'kay?"

"Okay." Reizo then left to get changed and dry off.

Tsuki spent a few more minutes in the bath, and left to dry off and get dressed. Instead of her usual attire, she dressed in a deep blue short sleeved shirt, form fitting blue jeans, and blue shoes. If she was in a blue room, she would blend right in besides her face, arms and the silver tips on the ends of her long blue hair, ears and tail.

Tsuki found Deidara in front of the T. V watching something. "Deidara-Danna! We are going out to dinner now!" Tsuki said cheerfully.

"Okay, where are we going, un?" Deidara asked.

"We are going to go to a sushi place down town. Come on!" Tsuki grabbed Deidara's arm and dragged him to the front door where Reizo was already waiting.

"Aunt Tsuki, why are you so blue?" Reizo asked.

"Because I love the color blue. Now come on!" Tsuki walked out the door with Deidara and Reizo close behind. Then, once they were at the restaurant, Tsuki realized that the walls and all the other stuff was blue. Tsuki actually was mistook for a coat rack five times and a toddler thought she was a monster, so she even got kicked in the knee and got called a 'rip off artist' for some reason.

"I feel unloved!" Tsuki cried. "I am not a rip off artist or a coat rack! Why did this place have to be blue?!" Tsuki thought on it for a second. "Oh yeah, it's a sushi place. Hey, if nobody can get a good look at me..." Tsuki snuck up behind some important looking guy. "RAAWR!!" Tsuki yelled before she ran away. The guy fell down, and everyone around him began to laugh. The guy looked around and found nobody around him.

"Creepy sushi place..."

Tsuki walked back to the table they had been seated at and pulled out a red jacket. "This should keep people from not seeing me." Tsuki said. "But again, why is this place so blue? Aren't these places usually like, wood with black leather? But this is just dandy." Tsuki took a seat by Deidara. "But nobody would mistake you in this place even if you were wearing all blue because your blond hair kinda sticks out." Tsuki began to play with Deidara's ponytail. "But that's okay." Deidara then felt a little offended.

"Are you saying that blond hair sticks out more than blue hair in a blue sushi palce, un?" Deidara asked.

"Why yes, yes I am" Tsuki then continued to play with his ponytail.

"Oh, okay, un" Deidara then pulled away as he realized that she was putting it into a bun. Then Yuki, Tobi, and Mariko came into the room. Tsuki immediately went over to them and dragged them back to the table. Everybody placed their orders and Mariko filled in what happened to her while she was with Shikamaru.

"Shika took me while I was sleeping so that we could 'lope together!! He even helped me get dressed!!" Mariko said cheerfully. Yuki and Tobi were just happy that he was in jail for various crimes. Just then, Iruka walked into the bar and Yuki stood up and pointed at him.

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!!!" Yuki shouted. Iruka held his hands behind his head like somebody was pointing a gun at him. Yuki then came up to him and tied his hands together.

"Iruka, I am sorry, but you are under arrest for having weird hair-" Yuki was then interrupted.

"SINCE WHEN WAS HAVING WEIRD HAIR AGAINST THE LAW?!" Iruka screached.

"SINCE THREE DAYS 'TILL FOREVER!!" Yuki yelled back. She then went up to the AMBU office and Iruka was put into a cell with Shikamaru until either he puts his hair down, or cuts it in a different fashion so that it doesn't stick up in a ponytail-ish thing. He then called up Kakashi for help, but then was released three seconds later.

"Why?" Iruka asked.

"Why what?" Yuki said.

"WHY DID YOU LET ME OUT?!" Iruka yelled.

"DON'T MAKE ME REPORT THAT KITTEN IN YOUR POCKET!!" Yuki yelled back

"Don't report Nik!! He's my favorite pocket kitten!!" Iruka said as he took out said pocket kitten. Yuki growled and the kitten backed away.

"Why did you do that?" Iruka asked.

"Part wolf!! Duh!!" Yuki said as she let Iruka go. As soon as he was free, he bolted like a hot tamale on vanilla ice Tuesday!! She then walked out of the AnBu office and ran into their small group. They decided to go get dango and was walking to the stand. On their way, they got stopped by the perverted boy named Sai, also known as the guy who was spreading the porn around Konoha. He looked at the group and ran up to them and started started singing to the two girls.

"Every time I need to see your face I just close my eyes..." Sai started.

"Are you high?" Tsuki asked. She just loved ruining songs like this one, especially since a total stranger was singing it to her.

"...and I'm taken to a place where you crystal mind and magenta feeling take a chapter in the base of my spine, sweet like a chicka-cherry cola..." He continued. By this point, Tobi and Deidara were about to kill him, Yuki was chasing a butterfly that fluttered by, and Tsuki was laughing so hard that it wasn't even funny!

"...I don't even try to explain I just hold on tight..." He sang

"To what?" Tsuki asked.

"...and if it happens again I just move so slightly to the arms and the lips and the face so the human can evolve, yeah, I need you, I want you..." Sai sang.

"STALKER!!" Tsuki yelled as she pointed a finger at him.

"...come stand a little bit closer..." Sai continued

"But I don't want to!!" Tsuki shrieked

"...breathe in and get a bit higher..." he sang

"I KNEW IT YOU ARE HIGH!!" Tsuki screamed

"...you'll never know what hit you..."

"You're going to hit me?!" Tsuki asked, a little bit disturbed

"...when I get to you!!" He sang

"RUN!!" She screamed as she ran away. Sai then looked over at Yuki, but was scared that he might get the crap beaten out of him by Tobi, so he just went away.

Tsuki ran to Deidara. "Deidara-Danna! He's gonna hit me!" Tsuki cried.

"Who, un?" Deidara asked.

"The gay guy in the belly shirt!" Tsuki said. She then pointed him out in the distance. "There!"

Deidara made a clay bird and sent it off to Sai. Sai eventually walked into the woods, and guess what? The bird exploded YAY!

The group went back to the bath house and got ready to leave.

"So by the time we get back, it will be the middle of January. And then we only have a month until Valentines day!" Tsuki cheered. "And I'm gonna spread chocolate all over my arms and eat it off because I can, and I'm gonna sing sappy love songs all day, and I'm gonna get drunk because it was a holiday. Oh! And I am gonna tie Deidara to the bed and make out with his chest, and torture him using a spoon, some strawberries, and lip gloss!"

"What are you going to do to poor Deidara?" Yuki asked.

"Things..." Tsuki just stared off into the distance as if it would give her candy as she daydreamed about the said 'things'.

"When did you get so perverted?" Yuki asked.

"When I lost my virginity." Tsuki said.

"I KNEW IT!" Yuki yelled triumphantly. "You had sex that morning!"

"I did, but it was not my first time." Tsuki smirked at Yuki's puzzled face.

"When did you do it then?" Yuki asked.

"I'm not telling you!" Tsuki yelled before she ran over to Deidara with her bags. "I wanna leave now! Deidara-Danna and I will go ahead, you guys can have some time alone with your kids." Tsuki pulled Deidara out the door. "See ya!" They left.

"Well, it might be another twenty minutes until we leave. They could probably get a good head start and go at a faster rate because we have the kids. But that's okay!" Yuki continued to pack.

With Deidara and Tsuki.

"We could get a good start on the others and have some time to ourselves. As much as I love being around my sister, I just need to get away from her sometimes." Tsuki said as she jumped onto the clay bird that Deidara had made.

"Yeah, your sister is crazy, un." Deidara stated as they took flight. Tsuki let her hair loose from her pigtails.

"Maybe I should actually wear my hair down once in a while." Tsuki said to herself. She didn't really wear her hair in any other way than in those pigtails. She felt herself slip slightly and grabbed Deidara from behind to regain her balance. "I just realized that flying at 60 miles an hour at 200 feet above the ground is not too safe."

"Oh, did you now, un? Did you figure that out just now?" Deidara asked sarcastically before he laughed a bit.

"It's not funny!" Tsuki insisted, "Okay, maybe it's a little funny. But that is beside the point!" Tsuki gripped Deidara really tightly.

Deidara couldn't breathe in Tsuki's death grip. "Let go, un!"

"But I wuvses you sooo MUCH that I couldn't BEAR to let go, Deidara-KUN!" Tsuki said. The bird began to lower and she loosened her grip. "I'm sorry." Tsuki apologized.

"It's okay, just don't do it again, un." Deidara said after he regained his breath.

Tsuki rested her head on Deidara's back. "I'm sorry. But It wasn't lie, if it makes it any better." Tsuki snuggled a little more into Deidara's back. "I do love you." Tsuki smled a little. "Next time, I should think before I act, shouldn't I?"

"That would probably be a good idea, un. And sometimes, you can be worse than Tobi when I was partnered with him, but that's okay,un." Deidara looked over to Tsuki and realized that she was asleep. "At least now she won't hug me really tight, un." Deidara said as he went back to steering the giant bird.

Tsuki's grip slipped as she fell deeper into sleep, and was beginning to fall off of the bird. She eventually did fall, but grabbed the wing of the bird in a desperate attempt to stay on. "Ahh!" Tsuki pulled herself back up. "Thank god I didn't fall."Tsuki said to herself.

Now Tsuki was wondering why Deidara hadn't done anything when she fell. She was about to yell at him but noticed he was asleep. "Well, that is probably why he didn't do something. We should almost be at the hideout. I better wake him up."

Tsuki crept over to Deidara. Trying to keep her balance the best she could while staying very quiet. She then took out a chocolate bar and waved it in front of his nose. His chest-mouth (te-he. Chest-mouth) was now drooling and trying to gnaw away at his shirt, and of course his hand-mouths were drooling, so now he looked like he was having a seizure. She then threw the chocolate bar over the bird and caught his feet as he was jumping after the chocolate.

"UNNNNNNNN!!!" Deidara screamed as he looked down to the ground. Tsuki laughed as she pulled him back onto the bird.

"DON'T EVER DO THAT EVER AGAIN, UN!!" Deidara yelled. Tsuki was still laughing.

"What is so important that you want to get back to the hideout so badly, un?" Deidara asked

"...things"

"What kind of things, un?"

"Thingy type things" Tsuki then turned around to see Yuki standing right, and I mean RIGHT, over her face.

"AHHHH!! WTF?! WHEN DID YOU GET THERE?!" Tsuki screamed

"One, you need a breathmint/chill pill combo, and two, I was trying out my random teleportation jutsu and I ended up here. I LIKE PIE!!" Yuki said as she sat down and ate some caramel turtles.

"YUMMEH!!" Yuki yelled as she ate the turtles at light speed.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" Tsuki yell-asked. "Aren't you supposed to be with Tobi and your kids? And besides, what if you wind up half inside an elephant? I mean, that is a place right? Or what if you end up on the sun and burn into a pile of ash? What if you end up in Hidan's pants...?" Tsuki asked.

Yuki just looked at them. "I'm still here because, well, I really don't fancy the idea of falling for about 200 feet." Yuki said.

"Well, you do have a point there. Does Tobi know you're here?" Tsuki asked.

"Well, maybe. I should really get back to them, but first, I need a hug." Yuki whined.

"Ohhhh" Tsuki backed as far away from Yuki as possible. "Hey, Deidara-Danna." Tsuki whispered. "Whatever you do, DON'T let her get you in her death grip of doom!" Tsuki warned.

Deidara looked at her. "I've seen her hug Tobi, un. How bad could it be?" Deidara soon regreted his words and was turning blue in the vice grip that was the hug of Yuki.

"As long as you don't kill him, I'm okay. I'm not too sure what Deidara-Danna thinks of it though..." Tsuki said as she observed the two others.

Yuki released Deidara. "Oh! Don't think I would forget a hug for YOU Tsuki-chan!" Yuki grabbed for Tsuki but was met with thin air. "I feel so UNLOVED!" Yuki cried. She then felt Tsuki poke her from behind.

"You almost knocked him out! If he does, the bird will go boom." Tsuki stated. "So...DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!!" Tsuki scolded. "But you can snuggle and torture your kids and Tobi all you want." Tsuki said.

Yuki nodded and smiled at her sister. "Before I leave..." Yuki said. She got closer to Tsuki until their faces were mere inches apart. "I want to..." She got closer. "TAKE PANDA!!!" Yuki took a panda out of Tsuki's backpack and jumped off of the bird.

"NOOOOOO! PANDA! PANDA! I PROMISE, PANDA! I WILL GET YOU BACK! I SWEAR IT!" Tsuki yelled as Yuki fell with Panda.

"I'M TAKING HIM TO HELL WITH MEEEE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Yuki screamed before she was engulfed by a ball of flame.

Tsuki almost jumped off the bird to get her Panda back, but it was already too late. "WAAAAHHHH! PANDA! WHAT AWFUL AND TERRIBLE THINGS WILL YUKI DO TO YOU?!" Tsuki sobbed. Deidara looked at her in a half daze.

"What Panda, un? When did we get a panda...?" Deidara asked.

Tsuki looked over to Deidara with tears in her eyes. "It dosen't matter. By the time I get from Yuki it will be too late. She is probably already stabbing him with a variety of forks, knives, and meat cleavers. Then, she will use him as fire fuel and burn him to a crisp before disposing of his ashes in one of her weird foods." Tsuki looked at the moving land below them. "Oh well, at least I still have you." Tsuki cuddled up with Deidara. "She wouldn't take you away from me. Besides, I've had that panda for years. I will still have to get back at her though." Tsuki said.

"How are you going to do that, un? I mean, she's the feared god of death." Deidara commented.

"Yes, but I can make her body into pop corn and watch her get eaten by dogs before I turn her back. That would be good. Or even better! I could put her into a little air bubble that floats around in space! YAAAY!" Tsuki cheered as she hugged Deidara tighter.

Yuki was thinking about what evil things she would do to him when Tobi came into the room looking like he just survived a three day trek as a skulduggery officer!!

"Yuki-chan, WHY didn't you tell Tobi that the kids ate dango AND drink three gallons of espresso?!" Tobi asked as he set down the two bags he was carrying.

"..." Yuki just stared at him in a weird 'I-think-that-your-an-alien-and-I-want-your-soul' kinda wide eyed stare of hers. Just then, she dissipated.

"Wha..?!" Just then, a hyper Mariko and Reizo came into the room and started bouncing off the walls. Tobi shrugged and took out a cup of coffie infused with 'rocket fuel' (German weight loss drink that's illegal in the U.S. For some odd, unknown reason...) and a big bag of chocolate and quickly ate them to join the hyper party. They were found later that day in Texas, knocked out in some rich guy's apartment. Yuki, on the other hand, was in Tsuki's room.

"Gimmie back panda!" Tsuki yelled

"NEVA'!!" Yuki screamed. She then took out the panda and put him between her breasts and cuddled with him.

"Poor little panda, he has to sit in the food that drops in there!!!" Yuki chirped as she cuddled him even tighter. Tsuki, of course, got so angry that she put a giant air bubble around Yuki, turned her legs into cast iron, and shoved her out into space. Yuki then preformed some fire jutsu hand signs and was about to blow, but then Tsuki sealed her mouth. Yuki pulled at where her mouth used to be, but no luck. She then noticed that the little panda that was once hidden in her boobs was now gone. She looked back and saw Tsuki cuddling with the little stuffed animal.

"Bye, Yuki-niisan!!!" Tsuki waved as she left the room. Now Yuki was alone, in space, with a dissipating air bubble...OMG!!! WHAT THE HELL DID TSUKI DO?! YOU CANNOT LEAVE YUKI ALONE FOR FIVE MINUETS WITHOUT SOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENING!! Now Yuki got board and decided that she should teleport all the cookies she could eat, so she did, but when she tried to eat them they just got crumbs everywhere and now Yuki was hungry in a void filled with cookies, and she had no mouth. _'GREATNESS!! I WANNA COOKIE NOW, DARNIT!! GIMMIE A COOKIE OR I'LL BURN IT WITH FIRE!! Burn it with fire...'_ Yuki thought angrily. Then she got an idea that, at the time, was the greatest idea in the world!! She did some hand signs and teleported herself to a random mansion. Yuki then looked around and saw scantily clad girls in bunny ears running toward her. Then, a weird old guy came through the crowd and examined Yuki from the tips of her ears to the tail to the toes.

"SHE'S PERFECT!" He yelled. "Get this girl into a shorter top and some smaller pants. NOW!!" He hollered. The girls just glared at her and tried to take her to the dressing room, but then saw that she couldn't move her legs. Eventually, Yuki got boared again and teleported herself somewhere else. When the guy came back (If you're completely dumb, this guy is Hugh Hefner) and yelled at the heavens.

"NOOOOO!!! WHERE'D SHE GO?!!? I miss her so..." He cried. He then waited a few seconds.

"Seems like it's been forever since she's been gone..." Hugh then left and moped in his huge-ass library over some old Edgar Allen Poe novels. Yuki then found herself floating on the river nile. She quickly panicked and did some more hand signs and ended up in a pink frilly room that looked like it was devoured by a my little pony!! (YUCK!! LITTLE PONIES IN LACY UNDERGARMENTS!!) Yuki was thanking god, A.K.A. Herself, that she ended up in some little girl's room, so she could rest for a bit. She got a big surprise when she saw Itachi walk through the door.

"Ahhh, Yuki-hime, you finally came around." He said as he moved toward her. She tried to get through the corner of the wall,but no luck. Itachi then came up to her, shredded her shirt and pants and saw that any thing form the waist down was cast iron.

"Well, that interferes with my original plans..." Itachi then got out his sharingan and looked at Yuki in the eye. Suddenly, her world turned blood red and black. She looked around and saw that she was strapped to a table. Itachi then came out of the shadows and looked at Yuki.

"I hope you like this as much as I will.." Itachi then saw her trying to wiggle away, but he just tightened the straps and raped her. Yuki just stood there wide eyed. When she snapped out of it, she closed her eyes tightly and Itachi just laughed.

"You'll need to breathe sometime." He chuckled. Yuki just looked up confused._ 'You don't need your eyes to breathe!'_ but it was too late to do anything about it and he did it again. Now Yuki was trembling and Itachi couldn't use his sharingan.

"I'll be back for more, Yuki-hime." Itachi said as he left. That really creeped Yuki out, so she got on her hands and started walking to Tsuki's room.

Tsuki was carving something out of soap, and noticed that Yuki was crawling around on her hands. "Hey! How did you get back here?!" Tsuki yelled.

Yuki made the hand signs for the random teleportation jutsu. At first, Tsuki was confused, but after a minute she got it. "Oh, you teleported back to somewhere in the hideout and came here. Okay, I think you suffered enough. I'll release you." Tsuki unsealed Yuki's mouth and turned her legs back to normal.

"TSUKI! DON'T EVER DO THAT EVER AGAIN!" Yuki yelled at her little sister.

Tsuki just looked at Yuki before going back to carving soap.

"Why are you carving something when you could just use your power to sculpt it?" Yuki asked.

"Becuase I FEEL LIKE IT!" Tsuki yelled.

"SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!!" Yuki yelled back in a Cartman-ish accent. She then stormed off to hell, forgetting that it was lunch time for the Akatsuki. Now the whole group was whining at the table, waiting for Yuki to start cooking.

"I'm huuuunnnnngggrrrryyyy!!" Hidan whined at Kakuzu. Then, Itachi walked into the room looking oh-so-happy.

"What's up with you?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yuki-hime just agreed to marrying me." Itachi said oh-so-proudly, and of course Tobi was offended.

"...what?" He asked.

"Jealous?" Itachi asked proudly.

"Yuki-sama would never agree to that!!! Did you do something bad?" A weird little wolf who was carrying their food asked. Immediately, the wolf got tackled the puppy and Hidan left no trace of the food. The wolf left and came back with more food for the rest.

"Yuki-hime said 'yes' just a few minuets ago, ask her if you don't believe me." Itachi said, a little upset. Wolfie (That's what I'm going to call him) left to ask Yuki about what Itachi just said while Tobi looked hurt, angry, and growlith at the same time.

"RAWR!!!!" Tobi screamed as he gave Itachi the beating of a lifetime and all the members watched in disgust and awe.

With Yuki

Wolfie went into Hell where he knew Yuki was. Once he found her, he asked. "Yuki-sama." The wolf bowed. "Did you really agree to marry Itachi-san? I mean, weren't you already committed to Tobi-sama?" Wolfie looked at Yuki with questioning eyes. "Did... did you betray Tobi-sama?" Wolfie asked.

"No! No! I didn't betray Tobi-kun! Where would you even get the idea that I would ever marry Itachi-teme? He's a perverted jerk. I hate that guy." Yuki turned to what she was doing before she was interrupted. "Wait, what was I doing before you came in Wolfie-kun?" Yuki asked.

"I don't know, but you should come back to the hideout to have lunch. I brought it because you were kinda distracted." Wolfie told her.

"Thanks Wolfie-kun!" Yuki said as she pranced out of her room. Once back at the hideout, Yuki saw that Itachi was unconscious on the floor. "Who beat up Itachi-teme?" Yuki asked. Everyone turned to Tobi.

Yuki looked at Tobi for a long moment. "Good job Tobi-kun! You win! I'll give you your prize later."

Almost everyone else was just shocked. Save for Tsuki, Leader and Konan. And Yuki of course.

"How could Tobi defeat the most capable member of the Akatsuki?! Itachi could defeat everyone, besides leader and Konan. Wait...Since when did Konan start eating with us? I thought she preferred to do other things." Kisame asked as she stared at the blue haired girl sitting at the corner of the table.

"What? I'm not allowed to eat with the rest of the Akatsuki? Well screw you guys, I'm eating someplace else." Konan said as she left the table with her food-stuffs. The rest of the Akatsuki didn't care, but leader was heart broken.

"KONAN-CHAN!! NOOOOOOOO!!" He screamed after her.

After the two left, the rest of the people in the room were in silence.

"Where are the kids?" Tsuki asked.

Yuki blinked for a while. "ZOMG! I TOTALLY FORGOT ALL ABOUT THEM!!" Yuki yelled. Before she could run off to find them, Tsuki grabbed Yuki's arm.

"Yuki, I suddenly know where they are. They're eating cookies in the bottom cabinet over there." Tsuki stated as if she was possessed.

Yuki ran over to the cabinet and saw Reizo and Mariko eating cookies. "Now you know kids, If you eat too many cookies, you will get fluffy like Leader-san was a while ago. Now, you don't want to be fluffy DO YOU?!" Yuki asked in her creepiest voice.

The kids immediately dropped the cookies and ran out of the cabinet. "Good! Now, go back to eating everyone!" Yuki said cheerfully.

After that little dilemma, everyone went back to eating. But that was boring so we are going ahead to after they are done.

After that, everyone was forced into the living room. "Tsuki, go to your room!" Yuki yelled.

"...?"

"GO! NOW!" Yuki shrieked. Tsuki bolted, knowing not to mess with her. (BUT SHE KNEW HOW TO DEAL WITH YUKI!!! Turn her legs into cast iron and seal off her mouth...and maybe burn her with fire)

"Now, we are gathered here today to do a TREASURE HUNT!" Yuki announced.

"WHAT?!" The Akatsuki yelled.

"The things you will be sent to find are a variety of Tsuki's stuff. She keeps her things well hidden, so it will be quite difficult." Yuki stated. "Whoever wins will get a prize that will be revealed later and is different for each person and we also have a better prize for the shorter amounts of time. You will have until six o' clock. The worst prize is given for 5 hours, which is the same for everyone. It is an old, used, half chewed yo-yo!" Yuki pulled out a rock with some string on it. "Believe me, the prizes get really good, and the reason we have different prizes for everyone is so that they fit what you would like. One of them is even...ONE MILLILON -insert object here-! YAY!!"

"Wtf? -inset object here-? What the fuck is that?!" Hidan asked.

"You get to choose what you get a million of! Yayness! That is the grand prize. It could even be a million pairs of socks, or a million bars of chocolate, or a million free meals at Ichiraku ramen, or a million ravid dogs, or a million-"

"We get it already!" Pein yelled.

"Okay. Then the person with the most items or somehow gets the 'super item', gets a prize. Oh, and the grand prize is only given if you get here after a hour of searching. After you come back and tell me that you are done collecting, you cannot collect more, therefore giving you less time to get stuff." Yuki explained.

"You may take things from other contestants, so watch your back. You can even knock them out to eliminate the competition, but you may not cause severe injury or initiate in battle. It must be surprise attack, only because we don't want the hideout to be in ruin. Also, you are not allowed to scan Tsuki's mind to find where she keeps the objects. That means you ITACHI!" Yuki glared. "Or anyone else. Anyway, I will know if you break any rule. I have Dave on my side." Yuki said.

"Now for the list of things. You have to remember the items, or write them down quickly. At the end, I will list the 'super item'. Okay. 1, her secret supply of chocolate ice cream. 2, her blue pair of socks. 3, her red sweater. 4, her favorite book. 5, the script to a play that she wrote when she was fourteen. 6, her stash of hairties. 7, her pet. 8-

"What kind of pet is it?" Kisame asked.

"Oh, I can't tell you. It would be too obvious." Yuki said. "Anyway, back to the list. 8, a spoon that she has had for five years named Paul. 9, her stuffed animal named French Toast. 10, a bag of Trix yogurt-"

"Tsuki owns a bag of Trix yogurt? What would you do with that anyway?" Zetzu asked.

"Yes. I will squirt it all over Hidan." Yuki said.

Hidan paled. "NOBODY GET THE FUCING YOGURT!"

"And the yogurt is worth three items. And it has to be five pounds. Okay, 11, Tsuki's diary when she was 12. 12, her blue neck ribbon. 13, her secret stash of Reces Pieces peanut butter cups-"

"Why does she have a stash of Reces Pieces?" Kakuzu asked.

"Tsuki loves peanut butter. And will you guys just STFU AND LISTEN! WHY AM I ALWAYS INTERRUPTED?! Anyway, on with the list. 14, her math homework from 8 years ago. 15, her stuffed animal named Elvis. 16, her guitar. 17, her drawing notebook. 18, her left shoe. 19, her conditioner. 20, her paints. 21, the jeans she likes to wear while she is painting. 22, a penguin that has green eyes. 23, a bar of soap that she carved into a spoon. 24, her leather jacket. 25, a picture of her while she was eating a bagel. 26, the pencils she uses to sketch stuff. 27, the dog that she put into the purple demention. 28, her card that allows her access to a safe where she keeps her Reces pieces. 29, a shoe box she has had for two years." Yuki said. "Now, the last one is worth TEN items. She keeps this one hidden the best. She guards it carefully. This is what got me sent into outer space inside an air bubble with my mouth sealed and my legs turned into cast iron. And she likes me. The item is her favorite stuffed animal...Panda." Yuki said, an eerie tone in her voice. "But heed my word, you may suffer far worse than I. Especially the ones Tsuki doesn't like too much." Yuki stated.

"You may begin to search in five minutes, when it is one o' clock." Yuki said. "You may have this time to think of where you will search." Yuki then sat and took out a book.

The time passed until it was one. "You may begin the search of Tsuki's stuff!" Yuki yellled. Everyone left quickly. Before Tobi could run off, Yuki caught him. "Tobi, why don't you skip out on the hunt? I'm sure I could get you something better than the grand prize anyway." Yuki said suggestively. "And the kids are in the hunt, so we don't have to worry about them for a while." Yuki got closer to Tobi, and began to rub up against him. "You know you want to." Yuki said.

"O-okay." Tobi said. Just the memory of what Yuki did at Christmas made him harden.

While they did that for a while, the rest of the Akatsuki plus the kids were searching.

Tsuki was sitting in her room when she heard someone come in. It was Zetzu. "Hi Zetzu-san. What are you doing here?" Tsuki asked.

Zetzu thought of how to do this. "Can I have some ice cream?"

Tsuki looked at him. "I thought you were a cannibal..."

"Uhh...I want to have it with some human flesh that I saved for a while." Zetzu pulled out a plate with a hand in it.

"Umm, okay?" Tsuki said.

"It's really good. You want to try some?" Zetzu asked.

"Maybe...yeah." Tsuki said. Zeztu watched closely as Tsuki went to get the ice cream. She looked under her bed and pulled out a gallon of ice cream.

"How much ice cream do you have down there?" Zetzu asked.

"About three gallons." Tsuki said. She scooped some ice cream into the bloody hand that Zetzu had. Tsuki tasted it. "It's actually good..."Tsuki then ran off to the bathroom and began to throw up.

Zetzu looked at the hand covered with ice cream. "Well, I think it is really good..." Zetzu ate the rest of the hand quickly and looked under the bed for the ice cream. All he found was the same rug that covered the rest of the floor in Tsuki's room. "...How does that work?" He asked himself. "How should I know?" "I don't know! Besides, it was a rhetorical question."

Zetzu felt around under the bed and found a seam in the rug. He lifted a square of rug and found a card and a safe. Zetzu grabbed the card and used the combination to open the safe. He reached inside the safe and found that it went deeper than he could reach. He climbed into the safe and found it to be really cold. Zetzu looked around to see that he was in Antarctica. "Wtf?!" Zetzu found the ice cream, and decided to look around for other things. Like the Reeces pieces that was said to be in the safe. After walking for a minute, Zetzu found a big mob of penguins.

"I have to find the one with green eyes. But they have all black eyes. Great..." Zetzu sighed and began searching among the hundreds of penguins. He finally found the one with green eyes. "Okay. That wasn't too bad." Zetzu found the stash of Reeces pieces next to the penguin. "This keeps getting better and better." He picked up the Reeces pieces and found a shoe box, and inside the shoe box was a book, a script, a small stuffed animal that was made to resemble a cow, which he assumed was named Elvis. He also found a smaller box that had a bunch of hair ties. Next to the small box, was a spoon with the name 'Paul' engraved on the handle. Next to the shoe box, was a bag of Trix yogurt.

"I must have hit the jackpot of Tsuki's stuff. Cool." Zetzu counted the items he had found. "That's 10. I have one third of the over all items. And all in...a half hour. I should probably go to the living room and stop collecting." Zetzu climbed out of the safe and found a weiner dog on Tsuki's bed. Zetzu knew for a fact that it was the one from the purple demention. (because of past experiences...coughTHETIMEHEWASAGIRLANDDRUGGEDUPYUKI&TOBI cough)

Zetzu grabbed that too and walked back to the living room with 12 of the 30 items, because the weiner dog was Tsuki's pet also. He saw Itachi looking at himself in the mirror flirting with himself. Zetzu snuck up on him and hit him over the head, successfully knocked Itachi out. Zetzu took all the stuff Itachi had that were in the hunt. He now had a total of 14 things. His stuff along with the sweater and the socks.

(That was Zetzu's adventure, now join us as we salk-I mean follow Deidara! Fangirl squeal YAYZES! Oh, and I'm not a fangirl. I am a Narutard that happens to like Deidara a lot...really)

Deidara walked into Tsuki's room and found that it was empty. He knew that Tsuki was very good at hiding things, and that he had to look where nobody would think to look. "Hmmm, un. Where to look..." Deidara went to the edge of the room where the air met outer space. He searched under the edge of the floor and found a bag filled with summoning scrolls.

Deidara opened a scroll and summoned the object. It was a guitar. "Cool. This is probably the majority of the stuff, un." Deidara resealed the guitar back into the scroll and put it back into the bag. He went to the living room and began to unseal the items, looking for anything that he could use for the hunt. He eventually got 6 items. "Hey Zetzu, how many do you have, un?" Deidara asked.

"14." Zetzu siad.

"Darn it! I needed 9 more to beat him, un." Deidara said to himself. "I know! I will get some more of the stuff." He resealed the items and went to Yuki's castle in hell. Deidara knew the picture of Tsuki eating a bagel was in Yuki's room.

Deidara made it to Yuki's room, and opened the door. "AHHH! IT BURNS UN!" Deidara fell to the ground covering his visible eye.

Yuki looked at Deidara. "GET OUT OF HERE! WHY ARE YOU HERE ANYWAY!? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR STUFF?!" Yuki yelled as she covered herself.

Tobi, who was thoroughly embarrassed, just sat there. His face red as red could get.

"I'm here because I know that the picture of Tsuki eating a bagel is in here, un. Why? I don't think I'll ever know, un." Deidara said, keeping his gaze on the floor or walls looking for the picture. He spotted it on a shelf, and quickly grabbed it before running away. "Oh! People have already finished, un! Just so you know, un." Deidara said as he ran off.

Deidara made it back and found that Leader was already back, and Konan had given up. Hidan walked in just after he had, dragging Kakuzu with him.

"How many did you guys get? Zetzu has 14, and I have to count mine, un." Deidara aksed.

"I got 6." Leader said, a little disappointed that Zetzu got almost three times as much as he did..

"6? I only got 3." Hidan said.

"As far as I know, I have seven. And I still have some scrolls to unseal to see if I got anything else, un." Deidara began to dig very far into the depths of the bag. He pulled out a small, black scroll with white kanji on it. He summoned the object and got a panda. '_DUDE! I GOT THE PANDA, UN!_' Deidara cheered in his mind. _'That puts me in the lead with 16, un! And according to how many items everyone got, that is all of the stuff, un._' Deidara looked around the room and saw a very confident Zetzu. '_I'll just keep this to myself for now, un.' _Deidara resealed the panda and put the scroll back into the bag.

It was still two minutes to one, and Yuki came in looking a little disheveled, but still good enough to be seen in public. "Okay, everyone's here. Dave! Who was here and declared that they were finished in order, first to last." Yuki asked.

**First. Zetzu's white side.**

**Second. Pein.**

**Third. Deidara.**

**Fourth. Hidan. **

**Itachi and Kakuzu have been K.O.-ed and eliminated.**

**Konan gave up.**

**Tobi was pulled out at the beginning of the hunt.**

**The kids fell asleep.**

**Kisame has been knocked out by the kids before they fell asleep, and is eliminated.**

**Zetzu's dark side has never resigned and is there fore is in last place.**

Yuki nodded. "Who wants to go first for the number of items they have?"

Zetzu stood. "I have fourteen items. **AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'I NEVER SIGNED IN?!?!"**

Yuki looked a little surprised. "Very good. Next."

Pein stood. "I have six."

Hidan just stayed seated. "Three."

Deidara stood "I have seven, un." Deidara pulled out the black scroll and summoned the panda. "Plus the 'super item', un." Deidara held out the panda proudly. "Which takes me to 17."

Yuki just stared at the panda. "Is it the real one, Dave?" Yuki asked.

**Yes, it is the real Panda.**

"Okay! Deidara, you win a million -insert object here-!! Yayz! So, what do you want?" Yuki asked.

Deidara thought for a while. "Can I take it later, un?" Deidara asked.

"Sure." Yuki said. "Now, everyone put back the stuff before Tsuki realizes that her stuff is out of place."

**Tsuki passed out in the bathroom after throwing up for an half hour...**

"Oh, well you still have to put the stuff back. If you don't, I know who took what and will tell Tsuki." Yuki threatened. Everyone rushed to put the things back. Once Deidara finished putting the bag back to the place he found it and returned the picture, he went to the bathroom to get Tsuki.

"What the heck happened to make you throw up like that, un?" Deidara asked.

**Zetzu gave her human flesh with chocolate ice cream on top of it!**

Deidara looked disgusted for a while. "I'll have to get him for that, un. But that can wait." Deidara picked up the wolf girl and walked back to her room. He changed her and put her in her bed. "Well, if you weren't passed out in the bathroom, I wouldn't have gotten the scrolls and I wouldn't have won, un. So maybe I'll let Zetzu-san off the hook." Deidara said to himself.

After a while, Tsuki began to wake up. "I shouldn't have eaten that. Next time I'll know better." Tsuki rubbed her head. Tsuki turned a little and opened her eyes. "Hey look! It's Deidara-Danna." Tsuki giggled a little. "Oowww." She just kept giggling and then full out laughing. "It hurts." She laughed.

Deidara looked at Tsuki like she was crazy. "Why would you laugh at your own pain, un?" He asked.

Tsuki stopped laughing. "Why do you always ask so many questions, un?" She asked. Then she kept laughing. "Stop looking at me!" Tsuki shrunk herself to toddler size and went under her bed, and pulled the covers so that you had to move them aside to see under the bed. "If anyone asks...I'm not here!" Tsuki said from under the bed. Kakuzu then shot into the room and started looking for Tsuki. Once he saw Deidara, he went up to him and held out his hand like he wanted something.

"...un?" Deidara asked

"Its National Give-Kakuzu-a-nickel day. SO GIVE ME A NICKEL!! I WANT A NICKEL!!" Kakuzu whined. Deidara looked at him like he was the craziest person within the parameter of twenty feet.

"...no, un." Deidara replied. Kakuzu then shrugged as one of his tenticals fished a whole dollar out of Deidara's back pocket. He then left.

"See! You should have hidden under the bed with me." Tsuki said as she climbed out from under the bed. Tsuki then went up to Deidara. "You know, Kakuzu has it all wrong. We are the rulers of the world, we shouldn't have to buy stuff. I could just make it. And even if we wanted to buy stuff, he is like the kind of person that would just take stuff. Like he took your dollar." Tsuki said. She then turned herself back to normal size.

"I wonder how Yuki's kids are doing. I mean, we hardly ever see them. And those guys are great." Tsuki said. "My head hurts. I really should have known better than to try Zetzu's food. It's just awful. I didn't like the taste of blood in the first place, and he said to put chocolate on it, and I did, and I don't like chocolate that much either. And then he tells me to eat it, and it was good at first, but the aftertaste was enough to put me out of it."

Tsuki checked the time. "One thirty. Hmm. That's about three hours until Yuki starts dinner." Tsuki looked over at Deidara. "What could we do until then?" She asked.

Yuki then ran into the room with Zetzu's chocolate-covered arm. "ZOMG! YOU GUYS! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVA!" Yuki yelled. Tsuki hid under the bed.

"IT MADE ME PASS OUT!" Tsuki pointed to the arm. "IT'S EVIL! AND NOTHING EVER MADE ME PASS OUT BEFORE! THATS' JUST CREEPY!"

"Where'd you get the arm anyway, un?" Deidara asked.

"Some kid in Konoha. I think his name was Konohamaru." Yuki said as she munched on the arm. "You know what would go great with this?" Yuki asked. She pulled out some leaves, monkey fur, motor oil, a cool hat, and toothpaste. Yuki then put it in a blender and it came out as gritty mush. "Tsuki, put this on the sun for a while."

"O...kay." Tsuki said.

Yuki waited about three seconds. "Now get it back for me." The bowl of goo appeared in her hands, so hot, that it glowed white. "Great!" Yuki cheered. She poured the goo on top of the arm. The arm sizzled for a while, and Yuki ate some. "IT'S DELICIOUS!" Yuki yelled.

Zetzu came into the room. "What are you yelling about?"

"This!" Yuki shoved some of the blazing concoction into Zetzu's mouth.

"IT BURNS!!! AHHHHH!" Zetzu ran around the room. He swallowed it and stopped running. "It's good..."

Tsuki looked at him weird. "Do you even have any taste buds left?"

"Yeah...I think about three..." Zetzu said. Itachi entered the room.

"What is all the yelling about?" Itachi asked.

"We were trying my new food! It's real good." Yuki insisted. Itachi looked at the glowing food.

"I don't believe you. That looks disgusting." Itachi said. Yuki pried his mouth open and poured the stuff in. "AHHHHH! BURNS! HOT! OWWW!" Itachi suddenly stopped. "Strawberries? HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IT TO TASTE LIKE STRAWBERRIES?!" Itachi asked.

"I did, 'cause I'm awesome like that." Yuki said as she continued to eat her food stuffs. She looked to Tsuki. "You want some?"

"NO!" Tsuki yelled. "And what is everyone doing in my room?! Is it the new hang-out spot? I understand Deidara and Yuki, but Zetzu and Itachi?" Tsuki looked around and saw Gaara, Tobi, Hidan, Reizo and Mariko. "And where did you people come from? GO AWAY! Wait, Tobi, Yuki, Deidara and the kids can stay. The rest of you can go away." Tsuki said.

The people sadly left the room. "Good. Why were they all in my room anyway? I'm playing video games." Tsuki poofed a 42 inch plasma screen T.V. and a game cube. She pulled out an Action Replay and put in. "If you want, you could either leave, or play video games with me. Or you could just sit there and do other stuff. Like listen to music. 'Cause music is awesome." Tsuki poofed in a stereo and a c-d that had a bunch of great music on it. "Welcome to club Tsuki. There is a dance floor over there and a bar in the corner, along with a food stand. Everything is free, but you have to prepare your own drinks and food." Tsuki said as she chose the cheats she wanted.

Yuki looked around the room. It looked like a good club. "All it needs is a dj."

"That's what the stereo is for." Tsuki said as she switched the c-d in the game cube to a game called Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. (If you people haven't figured it out, I love some of the older video games that are less popular, but a lot of people like them anyway. And I do have an Action Replay. They have more cheats for this particular game than the game sharks)

"I want apple juice." Yuki whined.

"There's some in the fridge." Tsuki said.

"I don't want refrigerated juice! I want fresh squeezed apple juice!" Yuki demanded.

"Do it yourself!" Tsuki threw an apple at Yuki.

Yuki looked at the apple for a while. It eventually collapsed into itself leaving only the juice. "Sweet!" Yuki cheered. "I bet you can't do it!" Yuki pointed to Tobi.

Tsuki threw an apple at Tobi. He looked at it for a while, and it did the same as Yuki's apple. "Cool."

Mariko took an apple from the fridge. "I can do it too!" Mariko concentrated on the apple, and it jumped on Reizo. "Cool! I made an apple fall in love with Reizo!"

"I wonder if it will turn into an apple version of a Zetzu." Tsuki said while playing her video games. Across the room, you could hear the sounds of rape. Now it was a _real_ club.

As Reizo was raped by an apple, the rest of the crowd danced, ate, and drank. Minus Tsuki. She would rather play her video games.

Deidara went over to Tsuki. "Why don't you get up and dance, un? It's fun." He poked her head.

"I can't dance. I suck at it. Sure, I can sing pretty well, but dancing isn't my thing." Tsuki said. "Is Yuki passed out yet from drinking? I want to know if I have to drag her to my bed." She asked.

Deidara thought about it. "I don't think she has had anything to drink at all, un." He said. "You're boring if you would rather play video games than drink or dance, un." Deidara said.

Tsuki sighed and put down the controller. "Fine. I'll drink, but there's no way in hell you can get me to dance. " Tsuki made her way to the bar and poured herself a drink. "If I can't do anything else, I'm going skating." Tsuki made a roller rink appear and gave herself some roller blades. "Weeeeee..." Tsuki said un-excitedly as she skated around and drank. _"I'm through with standing in line for clubs I'll never get in. It's like the bottom of the ninth and I'm never gonna win this. Life didn't come out quite the way I want it to be."_ Tsuki sang along to the music that played.

"_I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs, and a bathroom I can play baseball in, and a king sized tub big enough for ten plus me._" Tsuki sipped her drink. "_I need a...a credit card that's got no limit and a big black jet with a bedroom in it. Gonna join the mile high club at thirty-seven thousand feet._"

Tsuki fell and spilled her drink. "Darn it. I was liking that drink." Tsuki got up and picked up the glass that miraculously didn't shatter. She skated over to the bar and got another drink. "That will teach me to sing, drink, and skate at the same time...or maybe it won't." Tsuki went back to the rink and continued to drink, skate and sing.

"_'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars. Live in hilltop houses. Driving fifteen cars. The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap. We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat. And we'll hang out at the coolest bars. In the VIP with the movie stars. Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there. Every playboy bunny with the bleach blond hair. And well, hey hey I wanna be a rock star._" Tsuki sang.

For the next two hours, they partied and raved. But then, Yuki said she had to go get dinner started and everyone left, but not Tsuki. "Finally! I can play my darn video games!" Tsuki said as she got rid of all the stuff and went back to her game cube. "I love this level. It is like getting through a 3-d puzzle and the gravity shifts as you go through it. And – oh. I died." Tsuki said. "Darn robot killed me. Is he even a robot? I mean, he looks like a pile of blue goo that has a head that shoots lasers...darn laser-shooting-goo-thing." Tsuki continued with the level.

After a while, Tsuki checked the time and it was four o clock. "Cool. It's almost dinner time." Tsuki put down her controller and left for the kitchen.

Tsuki stood at the doorway and watched Yuki cook. "Uh, Yuki? What are you making? I haven't seen you make that before." Tsuki asked.

"Oh, this? I just decided to put something together. It smells good though, right?" Yuki said. And she was right, it did smell good.

"Well, how long until dinner?" Tsuki asked.

"About a half hour." Yuki said. She then put the stuff in the oven and waited. After a while, she called the Akatsuki to the table. Hidan drooled at the delicious looking food-stuffs on the table. It looked like the most delicious thing to ever be made.

"Yuki, you have outdone yourself." Hidan said before taking a bite. As soon as he took it, he spat it back out.

"IT'S AWEFUL!!" He yelled. Everybody else, besides Yuki and Zetsu, kinda backed away from the plates.

"Ummmm, Yuki, what did you put in this?" Tsuki asked.

"WHY DO YOU CARE?!" Yuki yelled as she kept eating.

"I WORK FOR HOURS AND ALL I GET ARE SOME COMPLAINTS!!! WELL SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME!!" Yuki yelled as she ran off to her room. Tsuki shrugged and made her food into a delicious pancake.

"YUMMEH!" Tsuki said as she dug into her food. The rest of the Akatsuki had to relive the hot pocket incident. ( look up hot pockets on youtube.)

&&&&&

cliffyOHHHH!! Actually, It was getting just a bit too long...so I ended it there. Don't worry! We are already working on the next chapter.

HEP- Hells yeah...

Lml- Okay then...anyway, we already have stuff thougt up for the next chapter. I'm sorry we take forever to update. And that my writing sucks, but if you actually read this far, that is just your fault.

HEP- Damn straight!

Lml- Why are you talking like that?

HEP – Yo mamma.

Some random guy in the background – ohhhh. Diss.

Lml- Oh yeah?! Well yo mamma so desprate, when someone plays the song 'It's raining men' She runs outside and looks at the sky waiting for the downpour of men.

HEP –...You know...We both have the same mamma. So that is just insulting your own mother...just so you know.

Lml- DARN YOU! And you people...REVIEW! Or don't...But I would prefer if you did. See you next chappie! Byez


	19. It Est Be the End

ZOMG!! I don't know what ZOMG stands for! TELL ME!

HEP- ZOMG stands for oh my god with a 'z' sound in front of it

Lml- Really?

HEP- yes, why yes it does.

Lml- ZOMG!!! I didn't know that

HEP- Well, now you do. We don't own Naruto or anything else. Besides Yuki, Tsuki, Reizo, and Mariko. (or anyone else who might pop up)

Lml-We would also like to thank our reviewers! YAYNESS!

Itachi- what? No award?

Lml-Nobody has reviewed since last chappie. So no.

Anyway, On with the chappie!

&&&&&&

After dinner, Yuki was dragged off to Tsuki's room. Tsuki looked at her. "What the heck did you do? Usually your cooking is great."

Yuki blinked. "What are you talking about? I made the greatest thing ever! It looked, smelled, and tasted awesome. I don't see what you're getting at." Yuki decided that now was a good time to have a nap. "Wake me up when September ends..." Yuki said as she fell asleep on Tsuki's bed.

"NO! GET UP! There must be something wrong with you. I'm taking you to a doctor." Tsuki then began to pack up her stuff.

On the bed, Yuki sat straight up. "NO DOCTOR! They put cold stuff on you, and jack you up on all these different drugs so you don't notice when they rape you! And they want my blood! It's my blood..." Yuki nipped her finger and began to suck on the blood. "My blood...and they can't have any."

"Tough, 'cause I'm gonna get Tobi, leave the kids with Deidara, and get you to a doctor. And not any doctor, but Tsunade. She is the best and will be able to tell if you have something real weird." Tsuki said as she continued packing her bag. "Besides, you're going if you want to or not."

Tsuki finished packing and turned to Yuki. "Come on. We have to get going. It's at least three days travel to Konoha." Tsuki used chakara strings on Yuki to make her move, afraid that turning Yuki into another substance or interfering with her physical makeup would just make it worse.

Tsuki dragged Yuki with her and found Tobi. "Tobi, we are going to Konoha. Go pack a bag for yourself and Yuki. I want to leave as soon as possible. I'll leave the kids with Deidara. He should be able to handle them for a while. Be at the front of the base in fifteen minutes. I will also tell Leader-san that we are going." Tsuki said, actually sounding serious.

"Okay, Tobi wants to know why we are going to Konoha?" Tobi asked.

"Well, we have to get Yuki to a doctor. And the best one around is Tsunade. So we will be leaving shortly." Tsuki said. Tobi then left to pack and Tsuki left to tell Pein that they were leaving and to get the kids to Deidara. (I shall refer to both Reizo and Mariko as 'the kids') Tobi met her at the door with a crying Yuki.

"I DON'T WANNA!!!" Yuki whined like a three year old who didn't like medicine. Tsuki, on the other hand, had ear plugs and was ignoring her all together. When she saw Tobi, she splashed water on Yuki's face, and before she could complain, turned it into duck tape.

"Okay, the reason I think Yuki needs a doctor, not a doctor-in-training like myself, is because she's acting weirder than normal and is having weird food cravings. She's also heat-proof for some reason. I can't understand that one. In order to get her to the doctor, we need to keep her restrained at ALL times, or else she'll run away. At god like speed, to say the least. Yuki has a weird phobia of doctors, so its going to be hard. AND STOP EATING CANDY!!" Tsuki yelled at Tobi. He had his mask just enough to the side that you could only see his mouth but he could still see. He was eating gummy bears, and Yuki was complaining that she wanted some.

"As I was saying, she thinks that all doctors do is take your blood, spread cold goo on your body, and drug you up so much that you can't tell when they are going to rape you." Tsuki finished.

"Why?" Tobi asked.

"Well, its kind of an irrational fear. Its like the people who are scared of ice in martini glasses, or people who are terrified by pickles." Tsuki said. (There is actually a girl in like Wisconsin, who's terrified by pickles.)

"GIMMIE CHOCOLATE COVERED HUMAN FLESH!!" Yuki said as she struggled to get out of the chakara strings. She hated when she had to be restrained. (NO DUH!!)

"What's up with you?" Tsuki asked. Yuki then turned her head completely backwards and tried to eat Tsuki's arm.

"CANABAL!!! YOU USUALLY DON'T LIKE HUMAN FLESH!!! YOU SAY ITS TO GRITTY AND SALTY!!" Tsuki yelled. Yuki just looked at her in a sort of 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about-I've-always-been-like-this' way. Tsuki then got tired of Yuki's complaining and just teleported them to Konoha's gates. They quickly refastened the strings and rushed over to Tsunade's office before she could eat them.

"Tsunade!!!" Yuki yelled as she ran up to Tsunade like she was her best friend and gave her a great, big, choking, suffocating hug.

"How are you my friend? I haven't seen you for a long time!! How is Gary? Who's the pig? What are you doing? What are you thinking? Where do babies come from? TELL ME!!!!!" Yuki rambled. The poor fifty year old woman was still suffocating in Yuki's death grip. Tsuki was behind her, looking confused.

"You should know where babies come from. In fact, you had two!!" Tsuki exclaimed. Yuki just plopped down on the dirt and and looked at Tsuki like she was the most intelligent person in the known universe.

"Really? Will you tell me where they come from?" Yuki assumed. Tsuki groaned.

"Do I have to? I mean come on! You gave me this talk when I was seven!" Tsuki looked at Yuki, who seemed to have no clue. "Okay...do you want an easy explanation, or do you want me to tell you in great detail?" Tsuki asked.

"I take great detail for 300!" Yuki cheered.

"Oh greatness...she thinks she is on Jeopardy." Tsuki walked to Tobi and pulled him over to Yuki. "Tobi is a boy, right?" Tsuki said.

"Tobi is a good boy..." Tobi said.

"Yes, Tobi is a good boy." Tsuki then moved over to Yuki. "Now Yuki, tell me a major difference between girls and boys." Tsuki said.

"Uhhh..." Yuki thought. "Oh! Boys smell weird!"

"NO! Okay, some guys smell weird, BUT NOT ALL GUYS!" Tsuki leaned over and smelled Tobi. "See, Tobi smells like...assorted...citrus fruits...? TOBI! WHY THE HELL DO YOU SMELL LIKE ASSORTED CITRUS FRUITS?!" Tsuki demanded.

Tobi just stood there and put his arms behind his back, where lots of oranges, limes, and lemons fell out of his sleeves. Some weird guy named Jose came and collected the fruit before he scurried off.

"Who was that?!" Tsuki asked.

"It was a mouse." Tobi lied.

"I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THAT WAS NOT A MOUSE!" Tsuki yelled.

"Okay! Tobi sometimes gives fruit to some guy named Jose. Now quit bothering Tobi!" Tobi said.

"Okay. Now Yuki. Think REAL hard. What is a REALLY BIG DIFFERENCE between boys and girls?" Tsuki asked.

"Uhm...Boys eat bugs?" Yuki said.

Tobi was offended. "Tobi does not eat bugs!"

"Oh, sorry Tobi. Hmm...is it that boys don't have long hair?" Yuki asked.

"No. Actually, some guys have longer hair than you do." Tsuki said.

"HA! I'd like you to name ONE." Yuki smirked.

Tsuki shook her head. "Deidara-danna."

"But Deidara is a man-lady!" Yuki argued.

"No. He is not a man-lady. I checked." Tsuki said.

"Oh, right." Yuki nodded. "Deidara doesn't have boobs."

"No, actually, men do have breasts. They are just significantly smaller." Tsuki said.

In the background, Tsunade watched as Tobi began to squirm. "Tobi doesn't like this conversation."

"Anyway, can you think of ANYTHING that sets males from females?" Tsuki asked.

"Uhmmm...Oh! Girls are called bitches while boys are called bastards!" Yuki said, all proud of herself.

"NO! Well, yes, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN! Are you going to make me tell you?!" Tsuki asked.

Yuki looked to the side, avoiding the glare she was receiving from Tsuki. "...yes."

Tsuki took a deep breath. "Okay. The big difference is that girls and boys have different sets of reproductive organs. Okay? Males have a penis and females have a vagina." Tsuki said awkwardly.

Yuki looked disgusted. "EWWWWWW! YOU SAY DIRTY THINGS!" Yuki accused.

"No...we are born that way. If you say that it is dirty, then you were born dirty and shall never be cleaned. You hear that? YOUR FOREVER DIRTY!" Tsuki yelled.

Yuki's eyes widened. "YOUR RIGHT! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Yuki began to run around in circles and waved her arms around. (as if that would do any good...)

Yuki suddenly passed out on the floor. "Yuki? Okay, she has never done that before...pass out for no obvious reason." Tsuki said. "Usually, she would only pass out if she was in an intense battle and was overpowered. Oh well, at least she stopped." Tsuki said. She then turned to Tsunade. "Can I observe while you work on Yuki?" Tsuki asked.

"Sure." Tsunade looked at Tobi. "But you cannot. We will be at the hospital. You may come in when you are called. Tsuki, get Yuki and let's go."

Tsuki nodded and picked up her sister before swiftly following Tsunade out the door in the direction of the hospital. They quickly put Yuki on a table that had hand and leg restraints, because they didn't know when she would wake up. About three seconds after they put her in the restraints, she did actually wake up.

Yuki panicked when she saw that she was in restraints and tried furiously to get loose. "AHHH! IT'S THE SARDINES! THEY HAVE TAKEN OVER WITH THE TWINKIE PEOPLE! AND THEY HAVE CAPTURED MEEEEE!" Yuki yelled.

Tsuki walked over. "Calm down, the sardines haven't taken over and there's no such things as 'twinkie people'."

"Then how come the twinkie on the T.V. wears a hat and bandanna and has eyes and legs and arms and TALKS?!" Yuki yelled.

Tsuki sighed and turned to Tsunade. "Are you ready to get started, Tsunade-san?" Tsuki asked.

"Yeah. Now, what do you think is wrong with her?" Tsunade asked.

"I'm not sure. But I know she has been weird lately." Tsuki said.

"Is it suddenly hot in here? Or is it just me? I know! Maybe if you get these restraints off of me, I will cool off!" Yuki said in a poor attempt to get away.

Tsuki ignored her and went back to Tsunade.

"How is she acting weirdly?" Tsunade asked. She knows that Yuki is legally insane to begin with, so how is she acting weirder? (Yes, HEP is legally insane. THEY SENT ME TO AN INSANE ASSILUM AND MADE ME WATCH BARNEY THE RETARD DINOSOUR ALL DAY!!)

"She's turned cannibalistic and is more irritable than usual. She's also gotten a little bit lazier than normal." Tsuki said.

"HEY!! I'M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW!!" Yuki

"Also, her cooking is suddenly...awful. Usually she would be a great cook. A gourmet. Now, she cooks like this." Tsuki pulled out a small box that had what Yuki had cooked for dinner.

Tsunade looked at the food, it looked good. "It looks fine..." She tasted it. "GAHH! IT'S AWFUL!"

"See. Something's up. Please tell me. Or else...I WILL turn you into a fruitcake." Tsuki threatened.

"Fine! Just don't turn me into some weird thing. I should get started." Tsunade said as she turned to Yuki. "First things first. Yuki, I need you to stay still. If you wiggle, I won't be able to get a good look at you." Tsunade's hands began to glow a greenish color, and Yuki began to wiggle frantically.

"LET ME OUUUT!" Yuki screamed.

Tsuki got an idea and brought Tobi in. "What is Tobi doing in here?" Tobi asked.

"We need you to get Yuki to stop wiggling." Tsuki said.

"It's worth a shot." Tobi went over to Yuki. "Yuki? Yuki-chan?" Tobi called. Yuki relaxed a little, but still wiggled slightly. "Yuki-chan, would you stop wiggling for Tobi?"

Yuki looked up at him with teary eyes. "But...but th-they will d-do something awf-ul to m-me." Yuki cried. But then she got back to normal. "Every time I'm tied up, that always happens. And Doctors, I was almost raped by a doctor, and you expect me to be CALM when I'm tied AND in a doctor's office?!"Yuki shouted, and continued her wiggling.

Tobi felt as if he was dealing with a toddler. "Now Yuki, don't MAKE me do something awful to you." Tobi suddenly looked all evil.

Yuki grinned smugly. "Oh yeah? I dare you DARE YOU! DO YOUR WORST!" Yuki yelled.

Tobi turned to Tsunade and Tsuki. "Turn around."

"But I'm enjoying my reality shows!" Tsuki whined before eating some popcorn which she got out of nowhere.

"DON'T MAKE TOBI DO IT TO YOU TOO!" Tobi threatened.

The two turned.

"Good." Tobi then removed his mask and looked at Yuki, his sharingan spinning. "Tsukiyomi."

Yuki was suddenly in a black, white, and red world. "Oh greatness." She then realized that she couldn't move.

Tobi appeared. "Yuki. For the next 72 hours, you will stand there and...COUNT DUCKS!!"

"And what if I refuse...?" Yuki asked.

"Then you get to stand there for three days." Tobi said before he disappeared.

Yuki then tied to fall asleep. She failed miserably. "Darn it!" And for the next three days, which was only a matter of seconds in the real world, Yuki stood there. By the end, she was bored, and exhausted.

Yuki awoke from her trance, but kept wiggling slightly. "Darn...It didn't work." Tobi then pulled Yuki into another Tsukiyomi, but this time, they were in a pleasant field.

"Okay, this time, you will spend three days flying a kite." Tobi paused. "And prance around...naked."

Yuki paled. "Do I have to?"

"Yes. And I will have many clones, and they will all be able to touch you while you prance happily and fly your kite." Tobi said. "Now PRANCE!!"

Yuki was suddenly naked and, against her will, pranced like a girly girl while flying a kite. She tried to ignore all of the Tobi clones, but they refused to be ignored.

"Yuki-chan! You're soooo pretty! It makes me want to glomp you to the next dimention!" Tobi clone squealed as he pranced with Yuki.

After seemingly days of this, Yuki snapped out of it. "PERVERT!!" She squealed in a high pitched, squeaky voice before she passed out on the table.

Tobi, on the other hand, was standing in a slight daze, blood flowing out of his mask. "What did you do to Yuki?" Tsuki asked.

"Things."

Tsuki shrugged and went back over to Yuki. "I think she will be out for a while. Or mere seconds. Either way, she's knocked out for a little bit." Tsuki looked at Tsunade, who was already pricking Yuki's finger for blood and was using her chakara to detect anything strange in Yuki's chakara flow. She stopped and looked at the now in a daze Yuki and said something weird.

"Preggers." Tsunade mumbled.

"Wha-?!" Yuki and Tsuki said at the same time. Tsunade then looked at the floor and went into the other room. She then came back with a large machine and a bowel of gooey yellow stuff. She forced some of the stuff onto Yuki's bare stomach and put the machine on her tummy. The screen then lit up and a picture of a baby mered in goo came up.

"Preggers is just a term for your pregnant. WHO THE HELL WOULD HAVE SEX WITH YOU?!" Tsunade yelled, a little disturbed that guys were actually having sex with a fed up eighteen year old girl who killed her own clan and needed to go to a mental institution.

"Well, I know that Hidan, Itachi, Kakuzu, and for some reason Zetsu, would. But I'm taken by Tobi! Isn't that great?!" Yuki said as she looked at Tsunade's priceless face. She then demanded chicken and vodka, just to be refused. (A.N/\)

"You can't drink!! You're preggers!! You might hurt the baby!!" Tsuki said

"But I already have two!! GIMMIE CHOCOLATE NOW DAMNIT!!!" Yuki demanded. Tsunade then shot her with a sedative and let her out of the restraints. Once out, Yuki drunkly got up and turned into a big ball of flame before dissappearing.

"Where the hell did she go?!" Tsunade asked.

"She went homes." Tsuki said before running out to tell Tobi about Yuki.

Back with Yuki, she was just wondering the pits of hell, topless because they took off her shirt, and she was all sticky and her tummy was cold. She eventually ran into Sasori who, of course, took off his cloak and put it on Yuki before she started being weird with him.

"Hey duuuude!! GIMMIE A JUICE BOX!!" Yuki demanded. Sasori fished in his pockets a little bit and found a juicy-juice box and handed it to Yuki.

"One hundred percent juice for one hundred percent kids." Yuki said before chugging the whole box.

"What's up with you, Yuki-sama?" Sasori said before Yuki fell asleep on him. He groaned and picked her up before running off to the castle and putting her on the bed. He went and brought back three cases of boxed juice and sat on them as he waited for Tobi to come back. Tobi came back seconds after Sasori sat down.

"Sasori? What are you doing in Tobi's room?" Tobi asked.

"Well, I found her outside with her shirt torn, walking around as if she's high and has some weird goo on her." Sasori said. "So I brought her to your room."

"Oh..." Tobi said as he picked her up and brought her into the bathroom. He put her down onto the floor and tried to clean her up, but she was acting like she was high, and kept saying that 'he was being perverted and that she can do it herself', but she just kept getting the goo everywhere. Now this was just plain annoying!! Then he gave up and waited for her to fall asleep until he finally cleaned it off with a wash cloth he found in the bathroom.

After that was over with, Tobi dressed Yuki in her nightclothes. "What are we going to do with her?" Sasori asked.

"We should really get her somewhere else. We could probably get her to Tsuki's room." Tobi said.

"Why? What's wrong with her staying here?" Sasori asked.

"Well, there are little demons running around that revolted last time Yuki got pregnant-"

"Yuki-sama's pregnant? Again?" Sasori whined.

"Yeah. That's why we have to get her somewhere else. It would be safer for her." Tobi said as he began to pick up Yuki.

The two made it down to Tsuki's room where she was drawing. She looked over to the door and saw Tobi carrying Yuki, and Sasori next to them. "Hey people. What's up?"

"Can we keep Yuki in here for a while?" Tobi asked.

"Sure." A door then appeared on the far side of the room. "Put her in the room over there. Yuki designed it a while ago and I know she would like it." Tsuki said as she got up and opened the door. The room was light lavender with a white ceiling and rug. The bed had a mini-mountain of stuffed animals and dolls.

"Just put there, she'll be fine." Tuki said.

Tobi set Yuki on the bed. A few seconds later, Yuki began to move slightly. "Tobi..." She mumbled. Yuki reached down to the bottom of the pile of dolls and pulled out a Tobi plushie. "Tobi..." Yuki hugged the plushie as if her life depended on it. She then began to lick it's head. "They're wrong...He dosen't taste like a lollypop...He tastes like fuzz..." Yuki mumbled as she licked the Tobi plushie some more.

Next to the bed, Tobi was suffocating for no apparent reason. "You okay Tobi?" Sasori asked.

Tobi just kept choking and tried to breathe. Tsuki looked over at them. "Those are voodoo dolls. Poor Tobi is being suffocated because Yuki is hugging the doll of him." Tsuki looked at Tobi's mask, that was now wet with spit. "And she is licking his head, so he's wet too."

Just then, Yuki put the toy under her chest and pulled out another doll. This one was Sasori. "Sasori..."

Sasori tried to run, but was suddenly immobile. "AHHH!" He yelled as Yuki crushed him in a suffocating hug.

Yuki then threw him against the wall. "You took my waffles..."

Now, Sasori was unconscious and Tobi was still trying to breathe. Yuki searched through the pile again, and pulled out a Hidan doll, but as she did, the Tobi doll fell from under her chest. "Hidan..." Yuki mumbled.

Now, Tobi was gasping for breath, Sasori was nearly unconscious on the floor, and Tsuki was eating popcorn.

Yuki began to swing the doll around by its hair. In another room, Hidan was swinging around in the air. "Weeeee..." Hidan said unexcitedly.

After a minute, Yuki threw the doll against a wall. A soft thud could be heard from another room. "Well, that was cool. Do another one!" Tsuki cheered.

Yuki picked up a Pein doll. "Leader-san..."

Suddenly, Pein was in the room. "Wha-?"

The Sasori doll was conveniently given back to Yuki by Tsuki, and now was in Yuki's other hand. "Leader-san loves Sasori...haha...ha" Yuki laughed in her sleep while across the room, Pein was unwillingly molesting Sasori.

"AHHH! WHY?!" Sasori yelled as he tried to move, but was still under the effects of the voodoo.

"And Sasori loves him back...'cause that's the was fairy tales go...oh no! Leader didn't use protection and now Sasori has AIDS!! HAHAHAHA!!" Yuki laughed evilly.

Across the room, Sasori was having a fit. "I DON'T WANT AIDS!!" Apparently, god was listening to him today.

"No...the test was wrong...Sasori dosen't have AIDS..." Sasori relaxed a little, or as much as he could with Pein still molesting him. "He's man pregnant! Oh...It's gonna be the ugliest thing ever..."Yuki mumbled.

Sasori all but exploded. "THAT'S JUST WORSE!!" But then Pein shut him up by roughly and passionately kissing him.

"It? Cool. Yuki made him pregnant with an object. I wonder what it is." Tsuki said, and ate some more popcorn.

Just then, Yuki poked the Sasori doll's belly and it began to glow. "Warm..." Yuki mumbled as she snuggled it close to her face.

"Cool! It's a flashlight!" Tsuki said happily.

On the other side of the room, Sasori was literally glowing. Pein stopped molesting him for a minute and looked at Sasori's belly. He touched it. "It really is warm..." He said. Pein then cuddled up with Sasori.

"GET HIM OFF!!" Sasori demanded. "I DON'T LIKE THIS! IT WAS BETTER WHEN SHE GAVE ME AIDS!!"

"You shouldn't think of it that way Sasori-kun. Look on the bright side! When she wakes up, we can fix everything!" Tsuki cheered. "And there's no Tsuki doll! YAY!" Tsuki then got an idea and pulled out a video camera. "...This is so going on Youtube..."

"Glomp fest on Sasori!" Yuki pulled out a doll of everyone, except Tsuki and herself, and made them pile on top of Sasori doll.

All of the Akatsuki soon found themselves in an awkward position on top of a, still glowing and warm, Sasori. "Everyone loves Sasori! But he only feels for his dear Leader-kun! Oh! Wait! He loves Hidan too!" Yuki made the Sasori and Hidan dolls make out. And you can guess what happened. "Oh, and poor Leader-kun watches in horror as his beloved made love to another...oh the tragedy..."

"What kind of messed up dreams does Yuki have?!" Kakuzu yell-asked from the pile.

"She has dreams like this all the time! And now that she has the voodoo dolls, Yuki could do this weekly, daily, hourly, or even constantly when she sleeps! And I get to watch!" Tsuki cheered. "And that will be for the next couple of months!! Or more!"

"Oh noes! Leader-kun hates Sasori and after Hidan found out about the pregancy, he left poor Sasori and now he has nobody but his unborn flashlight...but wait! Itachi-teme comes to the rescue! Itachi loves Sasori now! And he's not all alone. Oh! But now Itachi has fallen for Deidara, but Deidara doesn't love him back...Deidara's the only straight guy in the whole Akatsuki, besides Tobi." Yuki mumbled. "Oh! He wants some of Tsuki's popcorn...But he can't have any because he's being raped by Sasori who hate-loves him because he stole Itachi from him..." Yuki said, totally oblivious that the events were actually taking place.

Poor Deidara was trying his best to run from Sasori, but was eventually pinned on the floor. "AHHH!" Deidara yelled. "GET HIM OFF UN!" Deidara yelled. By now, Sasori had pulled off all Deidara's clothes besides his underwear. "I DON'T LIKE THIS UN!"

Yuki was still happily sleeping with the voodoo dolls. "Will Deidara end up man pregnant too? And what will Tsuki, Deidara's girlfriend, do? Tune in next time to find out..." Yuki mumbled.

Deidara was now trying frantically to get away. "I DON'T WANNA END UP MAN PREGNANT UN!" Deidara yelled.

Tobi got up and went over to Tsuki. "Make a Yuki doll for Tobi." Tsuki did, and Tobi grabbed at Yuki doll's arms. Then he thought about it. "Tobi's gonna let Sasori get Deidara." Tobi said as he let go of the doll.

"NOOO UUUNNNNN!" Deidara yelled as Sasori raped him.

Tsuki looked at Tobi. "You're a sadistic little boy, aren't you Tobi?"

"Well, Deidara would always made Tobi explode with his birds, and would be mean to Tobi. It's payback." Tobi said evilly.

Tsuki snatched the Yuki doll and scooted away. She pulled Yuki's arms apart, and held her down as she went over to the bed and took the Deidara and Sasori dolls. "I don't want my boyfriend to end up man pregnant..." Tsuki said as she pulled the Sasori doll off of the Deidara doll. She put clothes back on them and released them from the voodoo.

"Sasori, what are you gonna do now that you're pregnant with a flashlight?" Tsuki asked.

Sasori responded by being emo in the corner.

"Okay...hey. I've noticed that in the whole thing, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Konan didn't have anything bad happen to them. Besides being in the glomp fest." Tsuki said. "Maybe she feels mercy for anyone whose name begins with a K."

Yuki frowned and began to search the floor for her Tobi doll. She found it and began to do inappropriate things to it. "Tobi..." Yuki mumbled seductively. Now, since the dolls are anatomically correct, Tobi could feel with disturbing detail what Yuki was doing to him. The best part was that nobody else could see what she was doing because she was underneath the covers!! YAYZES!! Now Tobi was flopping around on the floor, begging for the Yuki doll and was about two inches away from it, but Deidara kept moving it ever so slowly away from him.

"G-g-giv-e T-tobi th-the stu-pid DOLL!!" Tobi shouted.

"Not on your life, un." Deidara stated bluntly. Tobi was literally inches away from getting out of this mess and now Deidara just DECIDES that he wants revenge. Now he looked at the sleeping Yuki and hoped that she would wake up soon, or else he would have to change his pants when she did wake up. Apparently, God loves Tobi, because Yuki sprang up started screaming.

"THE FISHPASTE IS IN MY HAIR!!" Yuki yelled. She looked down at the Tobi doll. "Tobi..." Yuki looked over to the Sasori doll. "Sasori..." Yuki then began to line them up. "Leader, Konan, Itachi, Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, Kakuzu, Zetzu, Tsuki, Yuki..." She listed.

"When did I make a Tsuki doll?" Tsuki asked.

Now, everyone was lined up in front of Yuki. "Cool." Yuki noticed Sasori was glowing. "Hey, why are you glowing?" Yuki asked. Sasori just sat there being all sad.

Tsuki noticed this. "You made him man pregnant with a flashlight." Tsuki said.

Yuki looked confused. "So my dream wasn't really a dream?" Tsuki nodded. Yuki went up and poked Sasori's belly. "Yay! It's still warm..." Yuki then cuddled up with Sasori, who still just sat there being sad.

Tobi was mad. His girlfriend was cuddled up with another guy, looking completely content. "Yuki. Get off him." Tobi monotoned.

"Why?" Yuki whined. "He's warm and soft and he needs comforting. Don't you Sasori-kun?" Yuki said as she hugged him.

Tobi twitched. "Tobi SAID get off him!" Tobi demanded.

Yuki was intimidated for a second, and hesitantly got off of Sasori. "Sorry." Yuki said before going back to Tobi. Tsuki took Yuki's place and cuddled with the depressed Sasori.

"It's not all that bad, Sasori-kun. It's not like you have to take care of a kid, you just have to give birth to a flashlight, which isn't even as bad either, they're smaller." Tsuki said awkwardly in an attempt to comfort Sasori. "Or if you really want, even though I don't approve, I can get rid of it." At this, Sasori perked up.

"Really?"

Tsuki sighed. "Yeah. I could just turn it into water or something. But you can thank Yuki's weird imagination for getting you into this." Tsuki said.

"Okay. But first, could you turn off the darn flashlight? It's annoying, and it glows, and I'm way too warm, and I think I'm gonna pass out." Sasori said as he began to feel light headed. The heat was really getting to him. (Light bulbs can get really hot...if you didn't already know...)

Tsuki looked at him. "I don't know where it is...how am I gonna turn it off?" Tsuki asked.

Sasori blinked. "I'm not sure, but I don't care. Just please turn it off!"

Tsuki closed her eyes, and gave herself byakugan. She looked at Sasori for a moment and spotted the flashlight. She then tuned it off. Sasori stopped glowing, but still felt warm. "You should cool off soon." Tsuki said. "I'll get rid of it later. I really have to get rid of those dolls..." Tsuki said as she picked up the dolls and made them vanish.

"No more of them. Even though it was fun, it's not after she wakes up." Tsuki said to herself. She looked at the Akatsuki just standing in the room, still lined up. Besides Tobi, Yuki and herself. "You know you guys can move now." Everyone then left the room, save for Sasori, Deidara, Yuki, Tsuki, and Tobi.

"Sasori, you should go back to Hell, I'll be there in a few minutes." Yuki said. After Sasori left, Yuki turned to Tobi. "Why did you yell at me?" Yuki asked sternly.

Tobi suddenly felt guilty about his actions. "I'm sorry Yuki-chan. Tobi was just a little...jealous of seeing you so comfortable with another man, and cuddled up in his lap, and seeming so content. But it was wrong of me to be mad at you." Tobi said, truly sorry.

Yuki smiled. "It's okay. Just don't do it again. Let's go." Yuki said.

"Actually Yuki, you should probably stay here for a while." Tsuki said from behind them. "Tobi brought you so you could stay here because you are safer here. Remember last time the little demons revolted? Tobi was afraid that they would again. So he brought you here." Tsuki said.

"Oh. Okay. Well, tell Sasori I said hi." Yuki said as she went back to the bed.

Tobi and Tsuki then left. Little did they know...Yuki had three more sets of the voodoo dolls. "Yeess..." Yuki said to herself as she cuddled into the mountain of stuffties.

Anyway, outside the room, Tsuki was carefully sculpting something when Hidan came in. "Where do you think YOU'RE going?" Tsuki asked, not bothering to look up.

Hidan remained quiet and went into Yuki's room. Tsuki took her attention off of the sculpture and walked back into Yuki's room. She saw Hidan go to the door on the other side of the room. It was made of ebony and had a gold doorknob. It also had the white, neatly written words that read 'Yuki's Mind'.

"If you want to stay the way you are, you won't go in there. If you go in there, Yuki could change you to whatever she wishes or imagines you as. And believe me, it gets worse than the incident earlier." Tsuki warned.

Hidan ignored her and went through the door. He closed the door behind himself and saw an extremely extravagant- not to mention huge-ass- library. There was a table and every book known to man, and some known to beavers!! He then got a little creeped out, especially since Yuki was sitting at the table, sipping hot tea and munching crumpets in a very good looking dress. She looked up and smiled at Hidan.

"Hello Hidan-kun. Would you care to join me for some Earl Grey Tea and cakes?" Yuki said as she held up a plate filled with good looking pastry.

"...umm...no?" Hidan answered. He then found himself in a fancy prince outfit, tied to a chair, with Yuki right in front of Hidan with a big box of dough nuts.

"Sempi likes sprinkled dough nuts!" Yuki squeaked as she started stuffing Hidan's mouth full of half eaten twinkies. Of course Hidan ate them, but he was having trouble keeping up with the pace that Yuki was shoving them into his mouth. Eventually, he looked around and found that they were in a weird demention with random objects floating around. He eventually got sick of eating and broke out of the chair, but found that the door was gone. He looked around and found that the door was floating right above him. He ran out and the Yuki in the demention came out as well. She followed him around and Hidan got a idea and walked into his room, expecting her to come in as well. She just stood right outside of the door and screeched at him

"EVIL!!" Yuki yelped and ran off. She then ran into the living room where the real Yuki saw her and they both stopped whatever it was that they were doing. Yuki looked in shook as she watched Hidan come in and get easily confused.

"Who are you?" Yuki asked while she went into a battle pose.

"I'ma Bee-buzzzzzzz..." The imaginary Yuki then grew wings and a stinger and flew around and stung peoples.

"BUZZZZZZ!!!" She yelled as she stung Hidan, who was apparently allergic to bees, and blew up like a balloon. After a few hours of mud wrestling, bee collecting, and jingle-jangling, they finally got the other Yuki into the door and permanently sealed the door.

"Hidan, I LUV YA MAN!!" Yuki called out as she glomped him to no extent.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I FUCKIN' DO?!" Hidan asked, only to have Yuki hit him over the head.

"DON'T SWEAR ITS NOT NICE!! And that was the most fun I've ever had!! I haven't seen Yuki since Dave knows when!!" Yuki said as she got up.

Hidan blinked. "Don't you see her every time you go back to your mind?"

Yuki smiled. "And do you know how often that is? I'll give you a hint, I only use two percent of my knowledge every week!" Yuki then patted Hidan on the head and left.

Yuki wandered back into Tsuki's room and saw her working on something. "Whatcha doin'?"

Tsuki stopped working and looked up at her older sister. "I'm working on mixing genetics. But I need people's DNA to do this with, because right now, all I have is mine." Tsuki said. "And it doesn't really work too well if you don't have genetics to mix. Look." Yuki glanced at Tsuki's project and saw that it looked like Tsuki when she was a baby.

"I guess you're right." Yuki said. "I have an idea! POPSICLES!" Yuki yelled as if it made all the sense in the world.

It took a second for Tsuki to get it. "YEAH! We can collect the sticks and the people will have left traces of saliva on them! And that contains DNA! You're brilliant Yuki!" Tsuki gave Yuki a huggle.

Yuki looked confused. "Umm...Yuki just wanted some Popsicles, but that works too."

The girls then called everyone into the kitchen with a few boxes of Popsicles. "Okay everyone! Grab a Popsicle!" Yuki yelled. Their plan went perfectly as everyone took one. She then noticed something. "Where are Tobi and Deidara?" Yuki asked.

Pein looked up from eating his Popsicle. "They're off on a mission. They will be back in a little more than a week." He then continued eating.

Tsuki grinned. "This will just be a minor set back. Besides, if everything goes smoothly, I will have had enough practice anyway." Tsuki said.

After everyone left, Tsuki and Yuki collected all the sticks and contained them in small jars. "Okay, I will study these and you can come see me in about an hour Yuki. Then, I want to test to see how real the outcome is." Tsuki grinned evilly.

For the next hour, Tsuki was working on her project while Yuki sang the 'happy song'. "I am really special 'cause there's only one of me! Look at my smile I'm so damn happy other people are jealous of me! When I'm sad and lonely I like to sing this song! It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long! Oh oh oh! I'm so happy! I can barely breathe! Puppy dogs and-"

"Yuki! Shut up with that song already! You must have sang it over thirty times. Besides, I'm done." Tsuki said, a little irritated.

"Yayzes! Lemme see!" Yuki looked at Tsuki's creation.

"It's a mix of you and Hidan. And the weird thing is...It's actually kinda cute." Tsuki said. Yuki nodded and looked at the baby-like-thing that lay on Tsuki's work table. It had stunning pink eyes, with just a tint of red. Yuki's black hair, but it was smooth like Hidan's. It had Yuki's smile and face shape and Hidan's nose. It had pink strawberry colored wolf ears and tail. Yuki was startled when it blinked at her.

"I thought it was just a doll or something!" Yuki said as she poked the tiny creature. It giggled. "Is it like, a real baby?"

Tsuki smirked. "No, but it is really close. A reason it's not real is that instead of instinct, the baby only has reactions to planned scenarios. It won't react to something it doesn't know how to. And it can't learn anything either." Tsuki finished.

Yuki paused for a moment. "Wanna go show Hidan...?"

They looked at each other. "YEAH!" Tsuki wrapped the baby in a pink cloth and they left to find Hidan.

Hidan was in the living room watching T.V. when he felt as if someone was watching him. He turned to see Yuki with a bundle in her arms. "Hidan-kun! Look! Isn't she ADORABLE?!" Yuki thrust the bundle into his face.

"What the fuck?!" Hidan swore. Yuki gasped.

"Not in front of the baby!" Yuki scolded, holding the bundle close to her chest protectively.

"Huh?" Hidan got a better look at the bundle and saw that it was indeed a baby. (Or so he thought) He got a glimpse of it's eyes and was shocked. "What did I do?"

Yuki smiled sweetly. "She's our love child Hidan! And guess what?! YOU GET TO KEEP HER!" Yuki put the bundle in Hidan's lap and ran away. Hidan watched as Yuki ran and once she was nearly out of hearing range, he could hear her say 'kai!'. And guess what?!

The baby exploded.

So now, Hidan was burned a little and had a smoking lump of flesh in his lap. "Just greatness..."

Yuki walked into the room. "HIDAN!! What did you do to our child?!" Yuki demanded.

"Uhh...It...exploded...?" Hidan said.

"Oh." Yuki stared blankly for a moment. "Okay! See ya later!" Yuki then skipped off to Tsuki's room.

Tsuki grinned. "That was awesome! Let's do another!" Tsuki then made another baby in twenty minutes. "This one is a mix of you and Leader-sama." Tsuki said as she held it in her arms. This one had Pein's hair and eyes, and Yuki's face structure. This one was also a girl.

"Okay! Let's go!" Yuki squealed.

Pein was in the kitchen with Konan drinking tea, when he saw that Yuki entered the room with a small pink bundle in her arms. "Pein-kun! I have something for you!" Yuki said as she placed the bundle in Pein's arms.

Pein looked at Yuki strangely. "How did you know my name?"

\

"I know many things." Yuki said, looking very wise, but suddenly went back to her normal behavior. "I also know that you have ommetaphobia! Or fear of other people's eyes looking at you!"

"No I don't!" Pein insisted.

Yuki then looked at him with wide 'I SHALL EAT YOUR SOUL' eyes. He baked off a little. "See!"

"No! That's just REALLY creepy." Pein said.

Konan just stood there. She then looked at Itachi, who conveniently appeared at this moment, and stared at him with the same eyes. He tried to resist, but ended up backing away. "Cool! It works!"

Yuki smiled at Pein. "Are you happy about her?" Yuki asked.

Pein, still confused about what it was, began to shake the bundle roughly. Yuki gasped. "Is that any way to treat your daughter?!" Yuki yelled.

Pein froze. "D-daughter? I don't have a daughter!" He yelled.

"Well now you do!" Yuki said cheerfully.

Pein looked even more confused. "How?"

"Well...you see, there was this rave last night...and we were drunk..." Yuki said awkwardly.

"But that still doesn't work!" Pein held the baby away from him.

"Well, apparently it does and you now have a daughter. See ya!" Yuki then ran off and yelled 'Kai!'. And another baby exploded.

"Ahhh!" Pein yelled. Yuki rushed back into the room.

"What did you do?! If you didn't like her, you could have given her back to me!" Yuki cried. "Oh...poor thing. Well, I have to go. Later." Yuki then walked back out of the kitchen.

Yuki went to Tsuki's room and saw that she already had another baby. "This one is of you and Itachi." The baby looked like Mariko, except her happy expression was replaced with a cold, impassive stare and...

"Babies shouldn't HAVE THOSE!!" Yuki yelled, pointing to the age lines on the baby's face.

"Oh. Yeah. Apparently those are in his genetic code. Anyway, lets just get this one over with." Tsuki said as she wrapped the baby and gave it to Yuki.

In the living room Itachi, who had conveniently forgotten about the incident in the kitchen, was counting how many minutes Hidan had been sitting there. He was at about thirty. "Hey, when are you going to leave and get a shower?" Itachi asked. Hidan was still covered in ash and the, now slightly rotting, lump of smoking flesh. He saw Yuki enter the room.

"Itachi. Here. Love child. Bye." Yuki said stoticly before leaving.

"Huh...?" Was all he could say before it happened.

BOOM!

And now Itachi was in the same situation as Hidan. Then Zetzu came into the room. He saw the smoking piles of flesh. "Are you guys gonna eat those?" He asked.

The two just continued to sit there. "Okay...I'll just take those." Zetzu grabbed the piles and ran off to eat them or store them for later.

Yuki went back into Tsuki's room and looked to see if Tsuki had finished another one yet. The baby was half done and looked disgusting. Yuki jerked away from the gory mess. "Which one's next?"

Tsuki worked for a few minutes before looking back at her sister. "Zetzu. Oh, this should be fun. In fact, I'll go with you for this one." The two then ran off.

(WARNING!! FLUFFINESS AHEAD! Fluffiness brought to you by the 'Lil miss lazy. Lovechild thing brought to you by HappyEmoPuppies)

In Zetzu's room, he had just put away the flesh he had stolen from Hidan and Itachi. He was going to leave his room, when he heard voices that came from the hall. So he decided to wait.

"Yuki! Don't! He'll eat him!" One voice yelled.

"Tsuki, I know what I'm doing. Relax." Another voice, that was apparently Yuki, said.

"No! I know that even though it is really cute, he will eat it! I just know it!" The voice that he now assumed Tsuki yelled.

Zetzu then saw the door open. Yuki and Tsuki stood there, and a blue bundle was in Yuki's arms. "Zetzu-kun. I have someone you might want to meet." Yuki said in a motherly tone.

Zetzu looked to see another person, but did not. "Uh...I've already met Tsuki."

Yuki giggled. "No silly. I want you to see our son." To say that Zetzu was shocked was an understatement. Yuki walked toward Zetzu and unwrapped the baby's face so that he could see the baby. It had fuzzy black hair, and Yuki's yellow eyes before she had been given the sharingan. It had green ears and tail, and instead of being half black, half white, it was white with black rings around its eyes and a black strip going down the center of its face. It also had Yuki's face structure.

Zetzu felt as if he would have a heart attack. The child was cute, and Zetzu didn't like cute, but he couldn't bear to even think of hurting the infant. Where he would usually find a delicious meal, he found that here, all he wanted to do was hold it, and snuggle with it, and watch it grow up to be a powerful ninja.

Zetzu was disgusted with himself, evil people were not supposed to love. And he considered himself evil. So he was going against his own logic. But no matter how disgusted he was, he couldn't stop a smile from reaching his face. He visibly relaxed as he held the child in his arms.

_'OH SHIT!'_ Tsuki cursed in her mind. This was NOT supposed to happen! Zetzu was supposed to be confused and mad and eat the thing, and then it would explode and he would be out cold for a few days! That was what she had expected, but NOOO! He just HAD to be accepting and fatherly. Tsuki caught the happiness in Zetzu's eyes and suddenly felt bad._ 'Oh. I feel bad now...'_

_'Tsuki just HAD to make it all cute! DIDN'T SHE?! And-oh...I feel bad now...' _Yuki looked at the plant man as he held the baby that would not be what he had wanted. Seeing the reaction to that would crush her. "Uhh...Zetzu-kun?" Yuki teared up, but was determined not to cry. "Zetzu-kun! I'm so sorry to do this to you!" Yuki cried into Zetzu's shirt, clutching the fabric.

Zetzu looked down to Yuki. He held her close to himself, not caring if his shirt was soaked. The only things that mattered to him at the moment was Yuki and their child. "It's okay Yuki. It's more of a blessing than anything else. We can raise him to be a good boy, and we can love him. We can do this." Zetzu saw as Yuki calmed a bit, her eyes still wet with tears, but instead of sadness, her expression was filled with hope, and he could see that she cared about this. They continued to hold each other.

Tsuki watched from the sidelines._ 'Hmm...If I don't fix this I will be guilty forever. If I do, Tobi will be mad that he was gone for two days, a__nd now his girlfriend had apparently had a child with his old mentor. Oh what to do, what to do...'_ Tsuki decided that it was better to have Tobi mad than have to be guilty for all eternity, and she wold hold onto it for that long too...

"Hey, guys? While you continue the love fest, I'll watch your kid." Tsuki said as she took the baby. _'I really did make it too cute.' _Tsuki thought as she brought it back to her room. She worked for another half hour, making it so real that even a the god of creation would not be able to tell it from a real one. In fact, by now it was real as real got.

The baby fell asleep as soon as it became real. Tsuki sighed and went back to Zetzu's room to give them the baby back, but found they weren't there. Tsuki looked out the small window Zetzu had in his room to see that they were watching the sunset together. "Hmm...If that's what real love is, I've been completely mislead." Tsuki said to herself as she watched the couple who seemed to be in complete bliss, not needing any sign of affection to show each other that they loved one another.

Soon, Tsuki had made her way to the spot that Zetzu and Yuki were, and the sun had just made its way over the horizon to reveal the deep blue sky dotted with the first stars, and the moon shining brightly down on them. Tsuki walked over slowly. "I see you are having a wonderful evening. I have come to return your child." Tsuki said softly, she was starting to tear up. She did not know why, but just felt that she needed to get away. "Goodnight." Tsuki whispered before walking away, her head hung low.

Tsuki found herself crying in her room. She was crying for Tobi. What would his reaction be to this? Even though it seemed that Zetzu really loved Yuki, that would leave Tobi crushed. Previously, Tsuki thought that love was just what Tobi and Yuki had, but now, it seemed to be insignificant compared to the relationship between the plant and the wolf.

Tsuki was also a little jealous of the couple. _'Why won't someone love me like that? Oh, I'm being selfish, I should just be happy for them. Yeah. Happy. They love each other. I will find my love some day.'_ Tsuki smiled a little and sat back up on her bed.

"When Tobi gets back. He will want a way to go back and change the decisions he had made. I wonder if I should. That could mean a new beginning for all of us. And maybe Yuki will never have to chose between a false love and a real one. And Tobi will never have to suffer the loss. And maybe I could find love somewhere. Not the kind I have now, but true love." Tsuki spent the rest of the night with that thought in mind and slept, awaiting the next day.

separator – separator -

The warm glow of the early morning sun swept over the horizon and awoke the birds, who were twittering outside the windows. Yuki had spent the night in Zetzu's room with him and the baby. Yuki yawned and stretched before getting up. Her child had spent the night breastfeeding and whimpered at the loss of warmth and food.

Yuki quickly got dressed and gently picked up the baby. "Shhh. It's okay. Mommy's here." Yuki cooed. Her soft voice awoke the plant man that had slept a little farther away. Yuki looked to see that Zetzu was awakening. "Good morning Zetzu-kun." Yuki said as she walked closer to him. Then, without warning, Zetzu grabbed her and pulled her down with him.

Zetzu nuzzled into Yuki's neck. "Morning Yuki-chan. How is the baby doing?" Zetzu asked, still half asleep and enjoying the feeling of waking up to the woman he loved, and their child.

Yuki giggled a little. "He's fine. But I think we should name him. We can't just call him 'baby' for the rest of his life. Do you have any in mind?" Yuki asked.

Zetzu thought for a moment. "How about...Kouhei?" Zetzu asked.

Yuki smiled a bit. "Yeah. That seems perfect. Ever since he has been with us, he has brought peace to us." Yuki looked at the infant in her arms, he was beginning to awaken. "Kouhei. Good morning." Yuki felt warm inside as the Kouhei opened his eyes and smiled at her.

Zetzu rubbed Kouhei's ears before getting up. "I'll go down to the kitchen. You can spend a little time with Kouhei alone and then join us down there. I love you Yuki-hime." Zetzu kissed Yuki's forehead and left.

Yuki dressed Kouhei in some baby clothes that just seemed to be there that morning. After quickly changing Kouhei's diaper, Yuki made her way to the kitchen. She saw Zetzu and huggled up with him. "Zetzu-kun! Did you tell them about Kouhei yet?" Yuki asked. "And why did you call me 'hime'?"

Zetzu looked at her with affection clearly on his face. "No. I haven't told them. And I called you hime because you are my princess."

Little did they know, the rest of the Akatsuki was right next to them, and heard every word of it. Every one of them looked completely and utterly confuzzled. Besides Tsuki of course. "So you decided to name him Kouhei? That's so cute!" Tsuki cooed.

"Who's Kouhei?" Kakuzu asked. "'Cause if there's any more babies in this place it will go over our budget."

Tsuki glared. "We don't HAVE a budget Kakuzu! And FYI, it is another baby." Tsuki stated. "Oh, and breast milk is kinda free anyway."

"Oh. I thought you would have forwarded any more to toddlers like you did the other two." Kakuzu said.

Tsuki sighed. "You know, I would have, but Zetzu would probably eat me if I messed with his kid..."

"Damn straight." Zetzu commented. Yuki resisted the urge to slap him.

"Don't curse in front of the baby!" Yuki scolded.

Kakuzu, along with the rest of them, were now confused even more. "Zetzu has a kid?"

"Why yes. Yes he does. Isn't it great?!" Yuki asked.

Pein was outraged. "Why is everyone having teh' smex?!"

Tsuki looked a little nervous. "Well, you see, they didn't have teh' smex. It's a little more complicated than that." Tsuki then dragged Pein to another room. "Don't tell this to Zetzu, but that kid was part of a joke we decided to pull. We got to Itachi, you, and Hidan. When we got to Zetzu, he felt all fatherly towards it and we felt really guilty. In that moment of guilt, Yuki fell in love with him. While they comforted each other and loved each other more, I worked on their kid to make it real. Zetzu never has to know. And besides, you would just shatter all his hopes and dreams. He would get all angsty and don't even get me started on what Yuki would do to you." Tsuki warned.

Pein agreed to keep it a secret and they went back to the kitchen where everyone was now eating. Except for Kouhei, who was in Yuki's lap giggling and being all happy. Zetzu was playing with Kouhei while eating human flesh. _'Mmm...nothing goes better with playing with your kid than eating human flesh...' _Zetzu thought.

Yuki watched as she nibbled on the rest of Konohamaru's arm. She decided she didn't want it anymore and gave it to Kouhei, who happily sucked on it, not having any teeth yet.

"Awww! He likes it! Isn't that just adorable?!" Yuki asked. Everyone thought it was the worst thing to give to a baby, except for Zetzu who was proud of his son.

"Yes! My son has the same taste for human blood! I'm so happy." Zetzu cheered.

"Are you guys some messed up vampires or something? 'Cause that's just creepy." Itachi asked.

Hidan spat out what he was drinking. "Hey! I'm the psycho vampire!" Apparently, Hidan had been drinking a glass full of blood.

In Yuki's lap, Kouhei was nibbling on Konohamaru's fingers. Yuki giggled. "You know, That kid STILL hasn't noticed that his arm is gone..."

In Konoha

Konohamaru is eating breakfast. He slams his face into his cereal. "Mmm! Cereal."

He then left to meet up with his team and they had a mission to clean some lady's clothes. He tried to clean them with his feet, but it didn't work too well.

Udon looked at Konahamaru and pushed up his glasses a little. "Uhh...Konahamaru? Why are you washing clothes with your feet?" He asked.

Konahamaru looked up from his washing. "I'm not."

"Yes you are. Those are your feet. And where did your arms go?" Udon asked.

Konahamaru FINALLY realized that his arms were gone. "AHHHHH!! MY ARMS! THEY EST BE GONE!"

And he had to retire from being a ninja...

Back at the hideout

Yuki was sitting on the couch in the living room playing with Kouhei, when she stopped. "Zetzu-kun? How did we get this baby if we never even kissed or anything?" Yuki asked, completely forgetting that Tsuki had made it in her room.

Zetzu smiled and pulled Yuki onto his lap. "Silly Yuki-hime. You don't need kisses to make a baby. Just smex."

"But we never had the smex either! How did we get a baby?!" Yuki yelled, now she was kinda scared.

Zetzu thought. "Pollination?"

"Wolf-people don't get pollinated!" Yuki cried.

They both stayed quiet for a moment, until Yuki decided to break the silence. "...You wanna test the smex theory?"

"...Maybe..." Zetzu looked over to where Tsuki was sitting. "You. Watch Kouhei. We'll be back...later." Zetzu handed Kouhei to Tsuki and left with Yuki.

Tsuki sighed. "Oh...I got stuck watching Kouhei." Tsuki looked at the child in her arms. She smiled to herself. "No. I have the _privilege_ to watch you."

In Zetzu's room...

"Okay, we are going to see if the smex is a solution to our problem." Yuki walked over to where Zetzu was sitting on the bed and sat in his lap. They looked at each other. Just staring. Slowly getting closer, until their lips touched. Their kiss was not passionate, but more tender and loving.

After a minute, the two parted for air. Gasping for breath, Yuki looked up at Zetzu, her eyes slightly lidded. Her breathing soon returned to normal. "Wow...I've never had a kiss so...so..." Yuki couldn't find the right words to say how she felt at that moment. In the warm embrace of the plant man she had overlooked for so long.

Zetzu then lowered Yuki gently onto his bed. They made out for a while, and Zetzu's hands began to explore her body. His hand rubbed Yuki's slender stomach before moving up her shirt to her breasts. Zetzu took off Yuki's shirt, and took a moment just to appreciate the woman he had under him. She was truly beautiful in his eyes. He wondered for a moment how he didn't notice before. Zetzu decided that it didn't matter and got back to kissing Yuki.

While Zetzu was admiring her, Yuki had taken off her bra, and was now only wearing her shorts and panties. When he began to kiss her again, Yuki unbuttoned Zetzu's cloak and eased it off his shoulders. Yuki moaned as she felt Zetzu's hands massage her breasts, and arched herself to his touch. Yuki let her own hands roam over Zetzu's muscular body, tracing his abs with her finger tips. Subconsciously memorizing the feel and texture.

They soon parted again and Zetzu quickly threw off his shirt, before going back to kissing his lover. Zetzu licked and nibbled at Yuki's lips. Yuki opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. Their tongues twisted and battled for dominance, exploring each others mouths. Yuki's arms wrapped around Zetzu's shoulders and she grabbed his hair, straining to deepen the kiss.

Zetzu loved the feeling of just kissing Yuki, but he was itching to go further. He parted from Yuki's mouth and began to kiss at her jaw. He led a trail of kisses down Yuki's neck, and began to suck at her collar. Yuki let her head lean back to give Zetzu more room, and indulging in the pleasure that he was giving to her.

Zetzu licked at the spot he had sucked at, which was now red. Zetzu then began to go down further and reached Yuki's bust. He licked at Yuki's soft nipples, and began to suck while his other hand massaged her other breast. Zetzu then tested milk on Yuki's breast, and drank it as he sucked harder. After a while, Zetzu stopped sucking Yuki's breast. Yuki looked at his face and almost giggled. He looked silly with breast milk on his face. Zetzu then switched breasts.

Yuki moaned with pleasure, and fisted the sheets a little. Zetzu stopped sucking on Yuki's breast and traveled even further down. He reached Yuki's waistline, but she was still wearing her pants. Zetzu gently but swiftly tugged off Yuki's shorts, and also his own pants. Zetzu caught Yuki in another kiss as he slowly pulled off her panties. He then removed his boxers, revealing his hard erection.

Yuki's body trembled in anticipation, and she looked up to her lover. Zetzu rubbed her inner thigh before slowly inserting two fingers into Yuki's wet warmth. Yuki moaned and her trembling stopped. Pleasure flowed through her body. Zetzu moved his fingers around a little, before adding another. Yuki felt her opening stretch, and moaned even more.

"Ahhh!" Yuki screamed. Zetzu had hit her spot. Zetzu removed his fingers, and licked them clean. He then positioned himself at her entrance, and rubbed his erection against her clit, making Yuki moan. He then entered her slowly, until his entire length was inside her. He eased back out, and thrust into her, quickening his pace until he was slamming into her.

Yuki bucked, trying to get Zetzu as deep into her as possible. He hit the spot again, but this time with more force. "Z-Zetzu!" Yuki screamed. She was panting and covered in sweat.

Above her, Zetzu could feel Yuki clench around him. He knew she would cum soon, and he was close as well. Yuki screamed as she climaxed, sending Zetzu over the edge. Zetzu groaned as he came into Yuki.

Zetzu fell to the side, so not to crush Yuki. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his body. He had never had such an experience before. It was truly amazing. Yuki cuddled close to him. "I love you so much, Zetzu-kun." Yuki whispered for only her lover to hear. They were in their own little world right now, forgetting all their worries, and only the two of them existed.

Zetzu nuzzled his face into Yuki's hair. "I love you too, Yuki-hime." Zetzu mumbled. He was still in a slight daze.

Soon, they both just fell asleep.

Back with Tsuki and Kouhei.

Tsuki was holding Kouhei as he slept. She just watched him sleep. She had been sitting there for hours, just watching him. Nothing else. Then, Kouhei started to cry.

Tsuki tried to shush him and tried to comfort the baby, but it didn't seem to work. Tsuki then realized what Kouhei wanted. "Oh god. Is he hungry? How am I going to feed him?! He is breastfeeding. I don't do that!" Tsuki panicked. She looked around and saw Itachi.

Tsuki walked over to him. "'Tachi!! Feed it! I can't! Or, actually I could...but I don't want to!" Tsuki cried.

Itachi looked up to her from his seat on the couch. "Did Yuki feed him this morning?"

Tsuki nodded. "Yeah! But babies have to eat every few hours!" Tsuki whined. Kouhei then threw up all over Itachi's head, and he stopped crying. Tsuki smiled. "Oh! He wasn't hungry." Kouhei then continued to cry. "Darnit! I think this time he is hungry. And I still don't do that!" Tsuki frowned. "I guess I have to find Yuki. I hope they aren't doing anything though..." Tsuki then went off to Zetzu's room and listened. They didn't seem to be doing anything, so she went in.

Tsuki tried to shake Yuki awake. "Yuki! Kouhei's hungry! And I can't feed him!" Instead of waking Yuki, Tsuki woke Zetzu.

"What do you want?" Zetzu asked groggily.

"Kouhei is hungry and I can't feed him." Tsuki said. She got an idea. "Zetzu! Sit Yuki upright." Zetzu sat up and Tsuki backed away. "Uhh...I'll come back after you're dressed..." Tsuki went out of the room. She came back in a minute and Yuki was already upright. "Okay! This is going to be disturbing." Tsuki warned.

Tsuki held Kouhei to Yuki's breast and he began to suck on her nipple. "You know, this is more disturbing than the idea of just doing it myself." Tsuki commented as she held the baby to Yuki's breast.

Zetzu gave her a weird look. "Then why didn't you?"

"I would have to alter my body so it produces milk, and it's someone else's baby." Tsuki said.

Yuki began to mumble something. "...Okay Mr.perv...get off my boobs..." Yuki stared to push Kouhei off of her. "I told you papa smurf...I'm with another man...go away..." Yuki grabbed Kouhei and prepared to throw him against the wall.

Tsuki grabbed Kouhei from Yuki. "Okay. From now on, I'll just do it myself when you leave Kouhei with me. This is dangerous." Tsuki said nervously. "Uhh...Zetzu, you can go back to sleep if you want. That was a bad idea. I'll see you later." Tsuki then left with Kouhei.

Zetzu got back into bed with Yuki and drifted back off to sleep.

Several hours later, Yuki woke up. "Hmm. I am awake. I am being held snugly against Zetzu. I want to move. But I can't. Hmm." Yuki decided to lay there and wait for Zetzu to wake up. She didn't have to wait long because a few minutes later Zetzu, finally, woke up.

"Hey Yuki-hime." Zetzu said as he slowly sat up.

"Hi. Can I go now? I wanna see how Kouhei is doing." Yuki said. Zetzu let go of her and left for the living room while Yuki got dressed.

In the living room, Zetzu was on the couch. Tsuki walked in. "Hey Zetzu? How come we haven't heard from your dark side for a while? Or actually, for the last three days." Tsuki asked. And it was true too, Zetzu hadn't been talking to himself or anything either.

"Uh...yeah. About that. My dark side kinda went on vacation." Zetzu said awkwardly.

"Yeah. How does that work? And what will he do when he figures out that while he was gone that you had a relationship with Yuki and you now had a kid? I would take that kinda badly if I had to share a body with someone and was evil like him." Tsuki said. She thought of something. "If you want, I could split you two up so that you each have your own body. I know last time it didn't turn out well, but seriously, he would probably try to eat your kid." Tsuki reasoned.

Zetzu thought about it. "Well, when he comes back you can split us up." He said.

"Okay good. Now, do you think that he will be back soon? I would probably have to do this before Tobi gets back." Tsuki said. Earlier she had decided that once Tobi gets back, she would go back to the compound that she had grown up in and attempt to travel back in time. It would be her instead because she could make sure that Tobi and Yuki never fell for each other. Maybe she could also make it so that the Akatsuki found them earlier and put them into the organization instead of them traveling for the next eight years, pretending to not exist or exist as someone else. This would stop Deidara and Hidan from coming into the main ten also, because that they were the newest two members' spots that she and her sister would fill.

"Tell me when he gets back, or Tobi gets back. I want to go do something when he gets here." Tsuki said before going off to her room. She had to plan out what she would change in the past. Also, since she was the one going into the past, she would be the only one to remember things from now. Probably because every action she did differently would change now drastically, it probably didn't matter.

Tsuki stepped into her room, and walked to her bed. "Hey Dave."

**Yes.**

"Do you know of a way I could get to the past? Like a justu or something?" Tsuki asked.

**Well, there was never a justu developed that can bring a person to the past. But I know of a way.**

Tsuki nodded. "Would you please tell me how?"

**Sure. You run faster than the speed of light-**

"How do you do that?! Nothing has been recorded even going the speed of light besides light itself!" Tsuki yelled.

**Yes. That is WHY nobody has ever gone to the past. It's almost impossible.**

Tsuki sighed. "I'm sorry for yelling at you Dave. Is there any other way for me to get to the past?"

**You could talk to the god of time. If you're lucky, he'll let you go back. **

"Great! Where can I find him?" Tsuki asked.

**You can find him only if you are in the woods at midnight next to the tallest and oldest tree. You must concentrate on him to call him out.**

Tsuki nodded. "Okay. Does he have a name?"

**No.**

"Okay. Why the woods?"

**He likes to take the form of a tree. Trees are awesome.**

Tsuki grinned. "Yes they are! Thanks Dave!"

**You're welcome.**

Tsuki got her backpack and began to pack her things. "I should set off soon to find the oldest and tallest tree. It could take a while." Tsuki said to herself. After a while of searching, she finally found a tree that looked like it was so tall, that it reached the moon and saved the poor man who was stuck up there!!

She then looked around and tried her hardest to summon the god. She was trying so hard, that it looked like she was constipated, working on quantum physics, and trying to pass a AMBU special test without using her powers or chakara AT THE SAME TIME!!

Eventually, a door appeared on the tree. Tsuki went into the tree and saw a pretty modern looking living room. It even had a plasma screen T.V.

"I'm jealous." Tsuki pouted. A guy came from a doorway. He looked about twenty years old. He had deep purple hair, pale skin, and red eyes. "Hey. Would you happen to be the god of time?" Tsuki asked.

The man looked up. "Maybe. It depends. What do you want?" He asked.

"I have to ask something of him." Tsuki said.

"Aw man! Nobody ever comes to visit or have parties. Nobody has even been here for three hundred years." The man complained.

Tsuki was taken aback. "Uhh...what do you do in your spare time? It seems like you have loads of time to fill. Why don't you ever get out? It seems you have been here for the entire time." Tsuki said.

The man blinked. "You're right. I never get out. Sorry. I've already walked the world many times. It bores me. That's why I masturbate to video clips of the past." He said.

Tsuki shivered. He was _okay_ with telling people that?! "Uhh...why don't you get a girlfriend?"

"Is that an invitation?" The man asked.

Tsuki twitched. _Pervert!_ "No. I just came to ask if you would let me go back to the past." Tsuki said.

The man thought. "Tell you what. If you let me do whatever I want with you for the next hour, you go back to the past. Sound fair?" He asked.

"Uhh...sure?" Tsuki said nervously. She then remembered that once in the past, it would be erased. "That sounds reasonable." Tsuki said

For the next hour, they played strip poker. Tsuki won every game.

"That was fun! Well, a deal is a deal. Send me back to the night before my clan was murdered." Tsuki said. The man nodded and sent her back.

"I hope we meet agian!" The man said before Tsuki was sent back.

(The night before the massacre)

Tsuki found herself lying on a soft thing. Her eyes snapped open. Tsuki found herself in the room that she had shared with Yuki before they left. She was in her bed, Yuki's was on the other side of the room.

Tsuki looked at the clock in the room. It was midnight. She knew that she would have to get sleep, because the day of the massacre, they had gotten up very early to train. Four A.M. To be exact. Tsuki sighed. She pulled the covers to her shoulder and tried to get sleep.

The next morning, Tsuki awoke when she heard Yuki getting up from her bed. She sat up and began to get dressed. "Oneesan. Today is the day isn't it?" Tsuki whispered to her sister.

"Yeah." Yuki whispered excitedly. "Were getting out of here! But we need to prepare. Pack all the things you need for about a week. That is probably how long it will take for us to get to another village. We leave tonight at midnight." Yuki's tail was wagging so rapidly, Tsuki thought it would snap off and hit a wall or something.

"Yuki. Calm down! Or I'll turn you into a cupcake!" Tsuki warned.

Yuki froze. "Since when could you do that?" She asked.

Tsuki tensed. _Back then I couldn't use my powers to that extent!_ Tsuki panicked. "Uhm...It came to me in a dream?" Tsuki lied.

Yuki stared disbelievingly, but left Tsuki alone after that. "Well, meet me at the training grounds in five minutes. Training in the dark will help as practice for tonight." Yuki said.

Tsuki nodded and changed into her clothes. She wore fishnet with a black T-shirt and a deep blue jacket. She also wore blue pants and ninja sandals. Yuki wore a similar outfit but with a lavender jacket instead of deep blue.

As Tsuki followed Yuki outside, she noticed that Yuki's hair was different. It went down to her mid-back rather than being just above her shoulders like Tsuki was used to seeing. Tsuki also noticed that her own hair, instead of going down to her calves, it only went to her mid-back. And it was down instead of being in pigtails.

The two of them stepped out into the training grounds. It was fenced in from the rest of the compound that they lived in. They walked to the middle of the area. Yuki got into her battle stance. Tsuki also got into her own. Each stood, waiting for the other to make the first move. Tsuki got bored of waiting and rushed forward.

Tsuki punched at Yuki's shoulder, but she was blocked, and pushed back. Yuki then drew kunai from her weapon pouch and threw them for Tsuki's arms and midsection. Tsuki pulled out her own kunai and blocked them. After blocking the last one, Tsuki turned her kunai into a katana. Yuki stared at her.

"How did you do that?" She asked. Yuki had never seen her sister do that before.

Tsuki smiled. "I just DID. I could turn it into lots of other stuff!" Tsuki then turned her katana into a sandwich and ate it.

"You know you just ate your weapon, right?" Yuki commented.

Tsuki drooped a little. "Darn it. Well, I could always make another one!" Tsuki then made another katana. "This one is made of diamond!" Tsuki exclaimed. The katana glittered in the glow of the stars and moon. "It also absorbs chakara and can only be used by either you or me. Otherwise, the katana will burn them." Tsuki said. "You wanna try?"

Yuki nodded quickly. She tried slicing one of their training posts, and it split right in half. "Cool!"

"You're still gonna use the family one though, right? That one's better. It does all that stuff and improves jutsu performance." Tsuki said.

"Yeah." Yuki handed Tsuki the katana. "We should get back to sparring though." Tsuki nodded and they sparred until it was noon.

By then, they were both sweating and panting heavily. "Okay...I think we've trained enough. We should get lunch and rest for the rest of the day until we set our plan in motion." Yuki said between breaths.

Tsuki just nodded and went inside. The two were eating sandwiches when their father came in. He looked at them. "And who said you could have sandwiches?" He asked.

Yuki smiled smugly. "Says me! The almighty Yukiko!" Yuki yelled. She then glared at the man. "Now leave me alone so I can eat my sandwich."

The man twitched. "You are NOT almighty. You have no authority to speak to me that way Demon!"

Yuki took a bite of her sandwich. "For the millionth time, wolf person. Not demon. Get it straight."

"You are lucky I allow you to live the way you do. I should have just left you out on the streets!" Their father yelled.

"Then why did you keep us?! If we're such a burden, why do you continue to let us live?" Yuki yelled back at her father.

SLAP

Yuki was suddenly on the ground, her face had a bright red hand print on it. "Learn some respect! If you were any weaker, I would have sent you off to be killed by now! You worthless mutt!" Their father yelled.

Tsuki looked over to the scene emotionless. "Otou-san, you know that this will just make her more difficult than she already is. Stop abusing her. She's your daughter. Why do you treat her that way?" Tsuki asked.

The man looked to Tsuki, rage flashing in his eyes. "Do you want the same treatment? No. I could give you worse. For you are worse than your sister. You are weaker. But you could be stronger. Why do you hold back?" He asked.

Tsuki kept her gaze on Yuki's body, still lying on the floor. "You did not answer my question." Tsuki now looked up at her father with anger clearly on her face. "Why do you beat and torment her? I do not hold back. You expect too much from us." Tsuki stated.

The man frowned. "I do not. The Uchiha boy is an anbu. And he is two years older than you. One year older than your sister. I expect you to be of at least jonin status. But obviously you aren't good enough to be considered ninja." He scoffed.

"Other children our age are still in the academy, and we are genin. What do you want us to do? We would have to wait until the chuunin exams to become chuunin, and we would then have to be promoted to jonin. That takes a while to do even for excellent ninja. Years for most. And you expect nine and ten year olds to get to that level? I bet you weren't even at my level at this age." Tsuki stated. She then noticed that Yuki was back up from the ground.

"You bastard." Yuki swore before running off. Tsuki gave one last glance to the man that she had known as her father before following her sister out of the room.

As soon as Tsuki got into their bedroom, Yuki grabbed her. "Change of plans. We attack at dawn. Otou will have guards on duty and they are laziest and least alert at that time. Be prepared. And up by four. We go to the training grounds and do our normal routine, but then we attack. Don't let anyone alive, or they will tell the Hokage and send searches for us to be captured. Not even small children can be left alive. They will be just as bad as their parents." Yuki said quickly and quietly so nobody could hear, and even if they did, only Tsuki could understand her sister's fast speaking.

"If anyone is just as good as their parents, then what does that make us?" Tsuki asked.

Yuki sighed. "Tsuki, it would be better for them to die than to be orphans. There's not too many innocent people in our clan anyway. Besides, what would they do? They don't know the way to town and it might be a week or more until someone realizes that everyone has been killed. They would die anyway. So they would suffer if we didn't kill them." Yuki explained.

"Yeah." Tsuki went to her bed and brought out a pencil and a notebook she had. She began to sketch people from the Akatsuki. "Hey Yuki, do you know of the Akatsuki?" Tsuki asked.

"Yeah." Yuki said.

"Wanna try and join them after we leave? It seems reasonable. They could train us. We could be great." Tsuki said.

Yuki sighed. "We wouldn't make it in. They only take the best. We're up there, but I'm talking THE BEST." Yuki exclaimed. "The day that they take me in is the day I become a god. And I don't even believe in the gods."

Tsuki smiled. "Maybe you should start to believe. It couldn't hurt. And who knows, maybe they are really out there." Tsuki said.

"No way. I know they're not out there. Why would they do this to us?" Yuki asked.

"They have bestowed great power upon us. And what else are they supposed to do? They like to mess with people's minds and watch events unravel." Tsuki said. "They feel pity sometimes, but they usually just watch people for their own amusement. I mean, what would be more fun than watch people panic, and destroy themselves because of greed and selfishness? And then watch as the 'heroes' try to stop them? If you could watch as people slaughter themselves for no particular reason but what what they think is right or wrong, it just shows how naive they are. Like the Kyuubi attacked because he was set onto the village, and he thought it was fun to kill. Then he was sealed by the fourth because he wanted to protect his people. But now the boy he sealed the demon into is tortured and ridiculed. Did he really do any good? Everyone dies eventually, and some don't have a chance at life at all." Tsuki said.

Yuki sat on her bed. "There is no meaning. They just want some faith. That's why people turn to gods. They don't know what else to look to. It was made up one day that there was a greater force. Everyone, being desperate for answers and faith, believed some form of religion." Yuki stated. "I don't believe though. I'm mentally strong enough to know there is no reason. We are here by accident. Never any meaning. No greater force. Nothing. It just isn't there. They believe in something that isn't there." Yuki then lay on the bed and closed her eyes. "Wake me up when it's time to go. Or I'll wake you up. I know it's only past noon, but we should get rest for tomorrow morning."

Tsuki just nodded and continued to sketch. At nine years old, she couldn't draw people very well, in fact, they looked like kindergarten work. But at twelve, she had gotten extremely good. "Oh, the improvement two years could do." But after a while of travel, Tsuki had dropped her hobby of drawing. She picked it back up when she went to the Akatsuki, but not really drawing people. She wondered if she could still draw people.

So until three in the afternoon, Tsuki drew while Yuki slept. Tsuki got bored with drawing and went to sleep also.

The next morning, Yuki was the first awake. She looked over to their clock and saw that it was three thirty. "I'm gonna get a shower." Yuki said to herself.

Tsuki heard her and woke up. "I'm going after you. But I swear, if you just get dirty killing everyone, it's just a wasted shower." Tsuki said.

Yuki giggled. "Yeah. But then I can shower again. While I shower, go collect all the money you can find and pack it into our bags. And only as much as you can fit. Then pack other rations that we would need that we haven't already packed." Yuki said as she got her shower stuff.

"Kay. So we have an hour and a half. That should be enough time to prepare. You want me to pack anything special?" Tsuki asked.

Yuki thought for a moment. "I want you to pack my guitar." Yuki said.

"Okay. I'll bring mine too." Tsuki said as she pulled out their guitar cases. "We could make money with these and we could entertain ourselves."

"Exactly! Now I need to shower." Yuki then went to the bath room, and Tsuki packed their stuff.

After Yuki finished showering, she went to find the katana that she would use to kill the clan and practice while Tsuki showered.

Time seemed to go quickly and the first streaks of scarlet light lined the sky. Yuki unseathed her katana. "This is gonna be fun."

&&&&&&

Lml-Okay! This is where it ends for now. There will be a sequel. We have already planned for some of it. So if you wasted your time reading this, now you can continue to! Yayness!

HEP- Oh. I'm so sad. It ends before it began. Literally. The story started seven years after this. Cool.

Lml-There will be a sequel. We have already started ideas for it. And now we are writing it.

HEP-you already said that...

Lml- I know. I just need stuffs to say. Like...In the sequel things will be very different. I mean the story line. And the quality will be better. Because this was my first story, it kinda sucked. So leave me alone. But thanks to my reviewers! I WUVZES YOU ALL! huggles

HEP- I want huggles too!

Lml- Of course you get huggles!

Both- Stick around for the sequel! Byezes!


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